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Chapter 1 – Why The Study Of Body Language Is Important

Introduction
How To Use This Book
You Have Four Minutes!
How Hard Is It To Read People?
What Does It Mean To Read People?
How Fortune Tellers Are Like Hans The Horse
What Is Cold Reading?
How And Why The Body Reveals Emotions: The Brain-Body Interplay
How The Lymbic System Affects Body Language
Faking Body Language And Microexpressions
The Mirror Neuron
The Benefits Of Subconscious Mirroring
Virtual Body Language
The Types Of People You Will Read – Introverts Vs. Extroverts
OK vs. Not Ok Personality Traits
Using Body Language To Get The Results You Want!
Why We Should Picture People Naked!
Summary

Chapter 2 – The Basics Of Understanding Body Language

Introduction
The Five Cardinal Rules Of Body Language
The Rule Of Four
Congruence
Context
Baselining
A Caution About Biases During The Baselining Process
Baselining Versus Innate Actions
Intuition Versus Perception In Body Language: Seeing What We Want To See
The Feet Are Honest
Negative Body Language Is Usually More Honest
Silent Speech Has Flow
Verbal Language Is Confusing, Body Language Sorts Things Out
The Evolutionary Differences Between Men And Women
Are Men Bad Readers Of Body Language?
So How Exactly Do The Minds Of Men And Women Differ?
Age, Age Gaps, Status And Its Affect On Body Language
Body Language Of Children
Emulating Alpha’s Body Language
Reading Posture
Haptics: The Use Of Touch In Communication
Body language And Energy displacement
Fashion And Its Meaning
Preening
Summary

Chapter 3 – Cultural Differences

Introduction
Genetic, Learned Or Cultural: Which Is It?
Emblems, Illustrators, Affect Displays, Adaptors And Regulators
Emblems: Word Replacement Gestures
Some More Examples Of Emblems
Illustrators: To Colour Language
Affect Or Emotional Displays
Recognizing Body Affect By Culture
Adaptors
Regulators, Regulate Speech
How To Use Regulators
Culturally Our Bodies Are All Basically The Same!
Some Gestures Are Universal
High/Low Context, Culture And Touching
The Ways Cultures Meet And Greet
Summary

Chapter 4 – Space And Territory

Introduction
Proxemics
Personal Space Distances
Culture And Personal Space
Personal Space And Country Folk
Status, Context And Personal Space
People As Objects
Space And Eye Contact
Spatial Empathy
The Urinal Game
Indicators of Invasion
Summary

Chapter 5 – Seeing Eye To Eye – A Look At The Language Of The Eye

Introduction
Gazing
The Friendly Social Gaze
When Men’s Eyes Meet Women’s Eyes – The Intimate Gaze
The Business Gaze
Why Sometimes Eye Contact Is Bad
Putting Your Best Side Forth
How To Avoid An Attack Or Speeding Ticket
Dilated Pupils
The Room Encompassing Glance
Eye Blink Rate
Extended Eye Blinking
Eye Blocking
The Double Wink
Eye Flashes, Eye Widening And Flashbulb Eyes
Looking Up Through The Forehead
Eye Size And Neoteny
Shifty Eyes
Looking Askance And Eye Rolling
Stealing Looks
Audience Eye Contact
Eye Direction, Thought And NLP
Using The Eye Trick To Predict Things
How People Learn
Eye Contact In Business
Eye Contact During A Job Interview
Eyebrow Flash – The Social Greeting
When And How To Use The Eyebrow Flash
Catching People Who Fail To Recognize You
The Eyebrows In Communication
Summary

Chapter 6 – Smiles and Laughter

Introduction
The Origins Of The Smile And The Honest Smile
Where Do Smiles Come From?
Perpetuating The Smile: On Mirroring And Smiling
The Most Common Types Of Smiles
Who Smiles More, Men Or Women, And Why?
Smiles Generate Leniency
Origins Of Laughs And Why Laughing Is Addictive
Laughing Cycle, Laughing Makes People Laugh
Theory Of Jokes, Humour And What Is Appropriate
The Purpose Of Humour, Bonding And Laughing
Is Laughter Unique To Humans?
Laughter Differences Between The Sexes
Put-Down Humour
The Types Of Laughs And Why Women Shouldn’t Snort And Grunt
Laughter And Health
Summary

Chapter 7 – Opened Mind, Open Body, Closed Mind, Closed body

Introduction
Ventral Displays
Hands And Palms Language
Sudden Changes In The Hands
Rubbing The Hands Gestures
The Spear Throwing Pointer And Other Power Gestures
Being Opened And Closed Through The Legs And Arms
The Meaning Behind Arm Crossing
Breaking The Mold – How To ‘Close’ The ‘Closed’
The Meaning Of Leg Crossing
The Ankle Or Scissor Cross
Figure Four And Figure Four Hand Lock
Fig Leaf Position
Parallel Legs
Pigeon Toes
The Legs and Feet Tell About Where The Mind Thinks
Standing Positions And Their Hidden Meaning
How We Sequence The Letting Of Our Guard
Avoiding The Eyes
The Fetal Position
Openness As It Relates To Status
Summary

Chapter 8 – Dominant and Submissive Gestures

Introduction
Reducing Body Size And Avoiding Conflict
The Shrinking Man
Environment Plays On Height And Dominance
Relaxed Body Language
Raising Status Through Relaxed Body Postures
The Language Of The Head
Headshake For Negative Thoughts
Head Nod And Bobble
Head Lowered Judgment
Head Tilted Interest
Head Back And Peering Over Glasses
The Chair Straddler
Leg Spreading
The Leg Over The Chair
The Full Body Steeple
Tilting Far Back In A Chair
Hands On Hips
The Cowboy Pose
The Military Man
What Does Thumbing Indicate?
Displays Of Ownership And Territory To Indicate Dominance
Dominance By Setting And Breaking Social Rules
The Dominant Control Their Faces
Touching Between And Amongst The Sexes
Touching To Get What You Want
Touching Heals Us Both
The Power Of The Pause
Speed Of Speech
Tonality And Voice Depth
Summary

Chapter 9 –  Defensive and Aggressive Body Language

Introduction
Defensive body language:
Double Arm Hug
Partial Arm Cross
Arm Gripping
Fist And Arms Clenched
The Security Blanket
The Stiff Or Curved Arm
Objects As Barriers
How To Use Barriers To Your Advantage
Cues To Indicate Defense
Aggressive Body Language:
Signs Of Aggression
The Unblinking Eyes
Invasion Of Space
Summary

Chapter 10 – Attentive And Evaluative Body Language

Introduction
  Attentive Body Language:
Undivided Attention
Fidgeting, The Feet, Jiggling and Kicking
Agreement Indicators
Hand On The Chin For Evaluation Or Negative Thoughts
Other Attentive Cues
   Evaluative body language:
Chin Stroking And Tongue Protrusion
The Invisible Lint Picker
What Glasses Mean
Hand Steepling
Neck Rubbing
Other Evaluative Gestures
Summary

Chapter 11 – Emotional Body Language

Introduction
Displacement Behaviours Protect Us In Public
Freeze, Flight or Fight
Clenching And Gripping
Nervous Hands
Poor Self Image And The Body Language That Tells
Eyebrow Lowering
Interlacing Fingers and Palm Finger Stroking
Suckling And Mouthing Body Language
Compressed Lips, Down-turned Smile And Lip Pursing
Tonguing Language
Sneering For You
The Ear Grabber
Hostile Body Language
The Sequencing Of Rejection Body Language
How Bodies Become Relaxed And Defrost
Neck And Nose Body Language
The Anti Crosser Is Uncomfortable
Other Emotional Body Language
Blocking Behaviour
Blushing – The Colour Of Emotion
Gravity Defying Body Language
How Can We Tell If An Emotion Is Faked?
Universal Facial Expressions
Emotional Downtime
Cocooning
Turtling – It’s When The Head Goes Into It’s Shell
The Types Of Hugs
Additional Emotional Body Language
Summary

Chapter 12 – Mirroring And Building Of Rapport

Introduction
The Chameleon Effect (Mimicry)
Research Into Purposeful Mirroring
What To Mirror To Gain Favours
Using Mirroring In Negotiations
What Stops Mirroring?
When Mirroring Can Backfire
When Mirroring Creates Flow
Why Our Pets Look Like Our Kids And Couples Like Each Other
Who Is In Charge Of Mirroring?
Who Mirrors More, Men Or Women?
Summary

Chapter 13 – Courtship Signals

Introduction
Why Men Don’t Seem To Get It And Why Women Are Half The Problem
It’s A Women’s Job To Attract Attention
The Most Common Female Sexual Signals
She Displays Submissively, Sexually, Gets Closer And Builds Rapport
Tibial Torsion And Shoulder Shrugs To Appear Childlike
Wrist And Neck Exposures
Smiling, The Forehead Bow And Childlike Playfulness
Sexual Hair Play
The Hip Tilt and Parade, The Hip-To-Waist Radio, Breasts and Buttocks
The Room Encompassing Glance
Grooming And Preening
The Leg Twine And Leg Crossing
Hiking The Skirt And Showing Skin
Loving Tight Jeans, Short Skirts And Ornamentation
Proximity, Pointing And Touching
Echoing And Mirroring Is The Mating Dance
Kiss Test And Stages In Intimacy
How Women Can Avoid Solicitation By Men:
Gaze avoidance
Gestures
Posture patterns
He Displays Dominantly, Sexually, Gets Closer And Builds Rapport – Introduction
How Men Display Interest – An Introduction And Further Reading
The Male Crotch Display
Eliminating Beta Male Body Language
Dominant Body Language
The Dominant Male Stance
How Men Can Use Negative Body Language
Tonality Advice For Men
Smiling And Gazing Advice For Men
How Men Should Gaze
The Ten Steps To Intimacy
Summary

Chapter 14 – Office Body Language

Introduction
How To Signal I’m Here To Help But Not Be Your Friend – Some Tips For Salespeople
How We Prefer To Orient Ourselves When Standing
The Types Of Handshakes
Types Of Bad Handshakes
My Little Handshake Experiment
Thwarting Dominant Handshakes
Handshake Advice For Women
Handshake Conclusion
Power Sitting For Women – What To Do, What To Avoid
Appearing Masculine – Power Dressing Advice For Women
Leaning And Ready Language In The Office And Elsewhere
Leadership Body Language
How To Handle The Type Of Bosses:
Autocratic
Democratic
Laissez-Faire
Job Interview Body Language
Before You Get There
When You First Arrive
Your Entry
During The Interview
Gestures
Your Exit
Reading Buy Signals
Summary

Chapter 15 – Seating Arrangements
Introduction
How We Know Why We Meet
Early Research Into Seating Arrangements
Rectangular Seating Positions:
Casual Corner Position
Cooperative Side-By-Side Position
Independent And Opposite Position
Competitive Head-To-Head Position
Leadership Positions And The Head Of The Table

Square Tables
Circular Seating Positions
Positions In Circular Tables
Other Complex Seating Arrangements
How To Set Up Your Office
Some Ways To Set Up An Office
Office Artifacts – The Other Nonverbal Messages
The Power Of Chairs
How To Be Forgotten – The “Center-Stage Effect”
Who In The Audience Is The Most Keen?
Deciphering Cause And Effect From Seating Position
Summary

Chapter 16 – Deception and Lie detection

Introduction
Why We Lie
The Nine Reasons We Lie
Deception Causes Arousal, Generally
Duping Delight, Eye Contact And Smiling
Lying Is Hard Work?
Nervousness And Guilt In Lying
Liars Freeze Up But Master Poker Players Become Dynamic?
Remaining Uncommitted
Touch Reduction
The Truth Bias
Are Truth Tellers Less Cooperative?
The Facial Action Coding System Or FACT Another Way To Detect Lies
Microexpressions
Examples of Microexpression.
How Mentally Taxing Is Lie Telling?
Police As Lie Detectors
Lying In Children
The Most Common Gestures Associated With Liars:
Increased Face-Touching
Ear Pull
Neck Scratch And Collar Pull
Hand To Eye Gestures
Hand To Mouth Gestures
Nose Language
Closed Body Postures
Eye Patterns In Lying
Verbal And Paraverbal Cues
Nervous Body Language – The ‘Other’ Cues

Machines That Detect Lies – When All Else Fails Bring In The Machines:
fMRI In Lie Detection
Thermal Scanners, Eye Trackers, Pupillometers And Stress Sniffers

So Which People Are Good At Detecting Lies?
How We Really Detect Lies
How To Accurately Read Lies
Comfort and Discomfort In Detecting Deception
Comfort and Discomfort Body Language
Setting Someone Up To Be Read
Summary

Final Thoughts

References