Tag Archive for Differences Between Men And Women

The Hip Tilt and Parade, The Hip-To-Waist Radio, Breasts and Buttocks

Puffing out the chest can give the bosom the extra bit of attention needed  to seal the deal.  Like most signals, this one happens subconsciously.

Puffing out the chest can give the bosom the extra bit of attention needed to seal the deal. Like most signals, this one happens subconsciously.

Women naturally have wider hips than men in order to accommodate childbirth and it is the exaggeration of the differences between men and women the makes them sexy. Women emphasize their hips with a walk called the “parade” which happens when a woman walks with exaggerated swinging or rolling of the hips, back arched, stomach flat, breasts protruding, and head held high. Studies show us that women out of committed relationship naturally walk in this manner to attract attention. Out of consciousness the parade is not overt or striking, but now that you understand the characteristics, you can watch for it. Women can also roll their hips while standing drawing attention to their pelvic region. The gesture might be accompanied by a sideways glance and slightly parted wet lips which could be unconsciously exaggerated by saliva or lipstick.

The hip emphasis posture is pervasive in fashion and advertising. We see women slouching to one side forcing their hips out to emphasize their curves, or walk in an exaggerated way, bouncing their hips up and down as if on a pendulum. Picturing this parade or “cat-walk” in the nude and you get the sense that there is an obviously hypnotic purpose to the method. Because the hips move about a center pivot, the eye is drawn front and center to the woman’s genitals which act as a beacon.

The little black dress is a perfect example that emphasizes the hip-to-waist-ratio differences in women. Studies show us over and over again that men prefer a hip-to-waist ratio of about seventy percent. That is, men prefer women who’s waist is thirty percent smaller than their hips. Women on the other hand, prefer men’s hip-to-waist ratio to be about ninety percent or in other words, their hips are only ten percent larger than their waste. This stems from the fact that it makes them better athletes, evolutionarily linked to their ability to catch food. Female athletes, particularly world class runners, also tend to carry low hip-to-waist ratios. Research also tells us that the waist is the last place women tend to add fat so as to preserve the sexiness of their curves. These changes happen rapidly after about age eighteen, where fat is added to the buttocks and legs but stays off the stomach until much later in life at around menopause. Only with great diligence are women able to keep their stomachs flat after their childbearing years. Once again though, after childbirth the area tends to be most resilient to fat deposits and the legs and butt tend to hold the most amount of fat, serving only to further emphasize the hip-waste ratio.

Having said this, digitally altered images and women who naturally carry a higher hip-to-waist ratio, are often seen as even more alluring. It is a play on the minds of men where everything is better if bigger, and if some is good, more is best. When it comes to men, if something is worth doing at all, it’s worth overdoing! The size of women’s breast is a prime example, and came about through evolution specifically to attract and keep the attention of men. Women are rare in the animal kingdom as they have what scientist refer to as permanently swollen breasts, or breasts that are large outside of lactation, and seem to have absolutely no desirable function at all, but as a sexual selection characteristic. Interestingly though, we aren’t alone in terms of exaggeration preferences, for example, mother birds who’s eggs have been swapped for larger ones (of another species), even freakishly large ones, will tend to sit on them longer and more frequently, even sometimes abandoning other eggs in their clutch. So it appears that even mom’s like more of things, especially when some of that things is great, more is seen as greater. Universally however, men do prefer the golden hip-to-waist ratio of seventy percent and tend to prefer a c-cup sized breast which amounts to about five percent of women’s total body mass – if you really want to get technical! The point being that exaggeration tends to mesmerize and sexual body language is no different.

Hands On Hips

Strutting like a peacock.  The hands draw attention to our manhood.

Strutting like a peacock. The hands draw attention to our manhood.

Having the hands on the hips or “arms akimbo” is to display like a peacock, even in people! It makes the body take up more space and hence appear larger so as to assert dominance. All the fingers also curl inward so that they point toward the crotch drawing attention in that direction which punctuates the point even further. The thumbs might also be tucked into the belt or into belt loops serving to “frame the genitals.” The message said is “There are issues here”, “Things are not right”, “I’m standing my ground” or “I’m a virile male so check me out!” Women can also be seen holding the posture although more rarely, and when they do, they will hold their hands on their hips and point their fingers to their buttocks. Pointing therefore, puts emphasis on our best assets while we state our case. Fingers pointed backwards as women do more often is a more inquisitive posture than an authoritarian one.

She's displeased and thinks you should know better.

She’s displeased and thinks you should know better.

Sexual dimorphism is a word used to describe the differences in form between males and females within the same species. In other animals, it includes horns and antlers, tusks, waddles, elaborate coloration and plumage, amongst many, many others. In humans, the dimorphism includes hairiness, perpetually swollen breasts versus muscular chests, square jaws and manly noses, internal versus external genitals, muscle mass differences, amount of fatty tissue, and hip to waste ratios (where the ratio produces an hour glass in women). In most cases, the differences between men and women are not very pronounced compared to many other animals. But when we do differ, men and women tend to display (exploit) their differences in effort to attract attention.

Like most of life’s endeavors, attention is competition based. We compete both against our own sex and for attention from the other sex. This seems like one in the same, but it is not. For example, appearing larger, heavier, taller or more muscular can serve to pique the interest of women, but also to repel nearby rivals. This is not to say that our species is cutthroat where everything boils down to competition. Instead, a large part of life involves cooperation. However, how would we know who best to cooperate with, if it wasn’t for their advantages in competition!

The hands on hips gesture is one of the ways men puff out to appear more dominant and attractive to the opposite sex and repel competition from the same sex. The cue cluster accompanying the hands-on-hips also includes an upright posture, chin up, chest out and the legs at slightly wider than shoulder width. The hands-on-hips is also a ready posture when it does not accompany more dominant cues in the cluster. In this case, it appears like a runner at the gate prepared to jump at an opportunity whatever it might be.

Territoriality and ownership is a part of the hands on hips gestures, just like placing a flag into the soil indicates a territorial line. Holding the body erect, planted, shows that the pieces of land on which we stands is ours. We occasionally see this posture in children too, as they assert their point to their adult counterparts. The referee at a sporting event will be seen holding ground with his hands on his hips as he’s met with protest from the team’s coach. He’s made a bad call, but instead of admitting it, of which let’s face it, he can’t, he instead says “I’m not going to leave, I’m the boss, what I say goes.” Meanwhile the coach will mirror this posture saying “I’m not going anywhere until I’m done doing what I came here for, so you are just going to hear me out.” Therefore the hands-on-hips body language also represents defiance. The abbreviation for the hands on hip gesture is to drop one hand, yet it remains just as potent. The other hand is usually busy gesturing more than colourful language.

Summary – Chapter 2

In this second chapter we have solidified our nonverbal foundation with the five cardinal rules of body language. First we covered the five basic rules of body language: the rule-of-four, congruence, context, baselining and intuition and perception. The ‘rule-of-four’ says that we need at least four independent, but related signals to reliably read someone whereas congruence says that we should pay particular attention when verbal language and nonverbal language do not match. Context on the other hand, says that we must be mindful of where and how cues develop since they could be confused with other variables and might mean something totally different or nothing at all. Baselining refers to the need to measure a person over time and in different situations before we can accurately predict their nonverbal meaning with any accuracy. The final rule says that we need to be conscious about intuition and perception so we don’t project meaning onto situations based on pre-conceived beliefs. We also covered how the feet are the most honest part of the body, and that coupled with putting presidency on negative body language over positive body language, we will have a greater success rate in reading people accurately.

Aside from these rules we looked at the flow of silent speech, how body language can be less confusing than verbal language, the differences between men and women, how women intuitively read body language and how age affects body language. We also discussed the importance that alpha’s, or leaders play in our lives and how we are either creating social norms (leading) or we are following them, how posture portrays confidence, the importance of ‘haptics’ or touch, in addition to body language as it relates to energy displacement and finally the meaning of fashion and preening.

The Evolutionary Differences Between Men And Women

We rarely catch women checking men out because they can always see the 'whole picture' unlike men and their predatory hunter eyes.

We rarely catch women checking men out because they can always see the ‘whole picture’ unlike men and their predatory hunter eyes.

Eyeball assault!  Predator alert!

Eyeball assault! Predator alert!

The hunter gatherer theory of human sex differences describes that men have evolved to be hunters whereas women have evolved to be gatherers. By this theory, the brains of men and the brains of women have been created under different selection pressures. The female mind was focused on language and communication especially between other females (gossip) and on searching out multiple food items, such as berries, vegetables and nuts. Men where more focused on tracking down prey, a single item, and used far less dialogue since talking too much might upset the animals they were pursuit. Once a successful plan was hatched amongst a group a men, spoken words were no longer necessary. Women, on the other hand, had to keep each other abreast of which fruits were in season and their location. The research supports this as women use landmarks and memorize routes to connect familiar places to navigate, even in cities, whereas men use more spatial factors such as direction of travel and the patterns of the roads themselves. Presumably it would be easier to describe to someone else how to go about finding berries in the wilderness through landmarks over a sense of the hills and terrain. For women, the food they gather doesn’t move, but men needed to be move about and orient an environment that was always changing based on the prey they were hunting and the season. Landmarks while hunting become useless when in new areas.

Men also tend to score higher on three-dimensional tasks such as moving an object in their minds to match similar items, a task called “mental rotation”. This spatial skill is attributed to throwing accuracy as one might use to fall moving prey. In tests, women perform better on language oriented tasks such as verbal memory and verbal recognition of sounds. Gossip amongst women around camp would have played a key role to protect unity, maintain peace and uncover dissenters. Women have also been shown to be more proficient at using both hemispheres of their brains since their left and right sides are better connected. Women can therefore use their minds more fully and draw from many centers of their brain.

The ability to use both hemispheres makes it much easier for women to work out complex relationships between people and their environment simultaneously. It fascinates me to listen to my wife click away at a game of solitary on her computer while she talks with her mom on the phone. Without pause the dialogue continues, whereas when I speak to my brother on the phone, and he’s watching television, the line practically goes dead! Body language requires a lot of focus and attention and women have much more mind to draw on to analyze it. Women seem therefore more naturally attuned to reading body language subconsciously, but that doesn’t mean it can’t easily be learned as is the case with my wife and I. By far, I am more aware of body language, due in large part to the amount of research I have done. My experience makes up for what I lack in brain power!

Women have a much wider visual field then men. That is, they can see further out on the periphery while still fixated on a central point. This is why women are so much better at finding things in the cupboard or in a drawer. Men’s eyes have pin point or tunnel vision and must look from one object to another eliminating them in sequence just to find what they need whereas women can see the whole picture all at once and identify the object needed. This partially explains why men find it so frustrating to have their things moved about the house when women tidy up. Men simply can not find them if they are relocated, but it’s not as if we don’t appreciate the effort! Conversely, women have difficulty pointing out and following moving objects such as animal in the woods or baseballs. With training however, both can become better at each task, the point is that men and women are inherently different, acknowledging our deficiencies just makes us each easier to live with! Having a better peripheral vision also explains why women don’t ever seem to stare at the men’s “junk” whereas men drop their gaze routinely to check women out. Women do check out other men, they just don’t get caught!