Category: Shy nonverbal

Appease, Arrogance or arrogant body language, Authoritative body language, Body size reduction, Closed body language, Courtship display, Defensive body language, Disengagement body language, Dislike (nonverbal), Distancing or moving away, Embarrassment (nonverbal), Escape movements, Eye Language, Fearful body language, Indicator Of Sexual Interest (IOsI), Negative body language, Nervous Body Language, Nonthreatening body language, Power play, Readiness to submit postures, Rejection body language, Shy nonverbal, Submissive body language

Body Language of Eye Aversion, Gaze Avoidance and Wandering Eyes

by Chris • October 21, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Eye Aversion, Gaze Avoidance and Wandering Eyes

Cue: Eye Aversion and Wandering Eyes

Synonym(s): Eye Avoidance, Eye Withdrawal, Gaze Avoidance, Averting Eyes, Roving Eyes.

Description: When eyes avoid making contact with other eyes on purpose.

In One Sentence: Avoiding eye contact signals that a person wants to avoid being called upon or that they want to create an air of superiority.

How To Use it: Eye contact can be powerful especially when it is avoided. You can show your disdain for someone by simply ignoring their presence on purpose. Likewise, avoiding eye contact can have the effect of making you disappear as well. For example, if you want to avoid being called upon by the teacher or your boss, simply avert your eyes. This tells them that you’re not prepared to interact with them and nonverbally suggests that they move along and pick on someone else.

In a dating context, women should avoid eye contact with potential suitors they do not find agreeable. Even a small amount of eye contact can be seen to be an invitation to solicit especially when combined with a smile. Thus, if possible, keep eyes only for the types of men you wish would approach. This isn’t to say, however, that women should be unfriendly, but women should realize that with friendliness, comes the responsibility of having to acknowledge and interact. If you (accidentally) make eye contact, follow through with a polite verbal decline. Here is an example: “Hi, I’m sorry, I have to leave, I’m supposed to meet with someone.”

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: a) “I don’t want to cause any more problems for myself so I’m going to avoid making eye contact with other more dominant people so I don’t draw attention and provoke people into attacking.” b) “I’m superior to you and so I’m withdrawing my eye contact and affection, and pretending you are an object not worthy of my attention or acknowledgment.”

Variant: Many other variants in eye language exist. See Eye Language category.

Cue In Action: a) The pupil didn’t want to draw any more attention to himself after throwing the paper air plane so he ducked his head down and averted his eyes in shame. His teacher knew that he was embarrassed for what he had done so she went easier on him. b) They went to bed angry at each other and instead of talking it out the next morning; they avoided each other – pretending that they didn’t exist. c) The seducer had eyes for her, but she wasn’t game. Instead of acknowledging him, she chose to avert her eyes by looking at the ground instead.

Meaning and/or Motivation: The general meaning of eyes avoiding is to show submission or discomfort. Averting the eyes has two primary purposes. One is to avoid conflict and other to power play. Eye avoidance might mean defensiveness, submission, defeat, or negative feelings. It may be done to tease and allure.

People who avert their eyes might also do so because of uncomfortable feelings such as sadness, shame or embarrassment.

Eye aversion is used to prevent others from resorting to an attack response and prevents others from seeing us as a threat. Subordinates commonly avoid eye contact with dominant individuals to indicate submission and respect. Eyes might wander to avoid being reprimanded. Eyes that avoid can serve to “flee” from an encounter, a protective response, as a person subconsciously tries to make distance between himself and his aggressor.

This is the case even if an argument is minor – the eyes will withdraw first showing that a person does not wish to pursue the debate. Eyes can also avoid eye contact thus demonstrating submission. For example, a pupil will look away from his teacher to avoid reprimand. As such, avoidant eyes can be used to reduce conflict, and at the same time, search for possible escape routes to vacate the threat.

Alternatively, eyes can show other people that they aren’t worthy of being acknowledged. We see this when people act passive aggressive. They will avoid eye contact with another person at all costs. When women walk down the street, they will purposely avoid eye contact with men so as to avoid initiating conversation, and their nonverbal message says “I don’t see you as a person worthy of my gaze, so don’t bother me.”

Other times eye contact withdrawal is a way to tease and play such as the peek-a-boo game where the absence of eye contact is part of the allure and so is a signal of interest.

Cue Cluster: When eye aversion is linked to negative thoughts it will be coupled with head dropping, shoulders turned inward and down, cowering, slouching, arm withdrawal and other protective and shrinking body language

During a power play we will see signs of both dominance and apathy. For example, a person might ignore personal space by brushing up against the other person or bumping into them, orient their bodies away, talk over or around them. Likewise, they may purposely show affection to someone else thereby creating discomfort in another.

Body Language Category: Appease, Arrogance or arrogant body language, Anger, Authoritative body language, Body size reduction, Courtship displays, Closed body language, Defensive, Disengagement, Dislike (nonverbal), Distancing or moving away, Embarrassment (nonverbal), Escape movements, Eye Language, Fearful body language, Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Nervous body language, Negative body language, Nonthreatening body language, Power play, Rejection body language, Readiness to submit postures, Shy nonverbal, Submissive body language.

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Adaptors, Auto contact or self touching, Defensive body language, Displacement behaviour, Lying or deceptive body language, Negative body language, Pacifying body language, Shy nonverbal

Body Language of The Ear Grab

by Chris • October 20, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of The Ear Grab

Cue: Ear Grab

Synonym(s): Ear Rub, Ear Rubbing, Grabbing The Ear, Touching The Ear, Pulling At The Ear, Ear Pull, Ear Touch, Hand To Ear.

Description: The hand reaches up and grabs, scratches, tugs, or lightly touches or partially covers the ear. If an earring is being worn, a person might roll or tug it instead. In more overt ear language, a person might cover their ears completely, which is usual in children who haven’t yet learned to how to minimize the gesture.

In One Sentence: Grabbing the ear is attributed to those experiencing visceral stress but usually simply serves to alleviate an itch.

How To Use it: Touching parts of the face is not advisable as it generally comes across as negative. Do avoid touching the face as much as possible including the ears when trying to appear open and honest.

Context: a), b), c) General.

Verbal Translation: a) “I’m touching my ear because what I’m hearing is causing me stress and touching my ear helps to relieve it.” b) “I can’t believe what I’m hearing.” c) “This is causing me emotional discomfort and which is making my ears flush. To fix the discomfort, I feel like tugging at my ear.”

Variant: See Hand To Nose, Neck Rubbing (back of neck) or Holding The Back Of The Neck.

Cue In Action: a) During court proceedings, a witness began to delve deeper into the case. The defendant didn’t like what she was hearing and she began to flush in the ears causing her to tug at her ears. A used car salesman might talk about the quality of a certain car, then pull on his ear lobe, or more subtly, he might be found rubbing the edge of the ear, indicating that what he has just said is untrue.

Meaning and/or Motivation: The ear grab refers to a subconscious desire to “hear no evil” and is done by reaching up and pulling the ear in response to hearing or saying discomforting things. It also sometimes represents anxiety and nervousness.

Think of the ear grab like rubbing sore muscles or massaging a stiff back, except in this case the damage done is internal and it’s due to something that has been heard, which “hurts” the ears. Anytime someone shows the desire to touch their ear means that they are thinking about hearing, and it will be up to you to tie them to context and decide what it is they are really saying. Other times, the ear is scratched because it really is itchy and has no meaning at all (an adaptor).

The ear grab can be use not only at the conclusion of the lies of others, but also at the conclusion of our own lies as well. The gesture used at the conclusion of our own lies serves to reduce what is called “cognitive dissonance” which is the uncomfortable feeling that comes from holding two contradictory ideas simultaneously.

Cue Cluster: In order for the ear tug to have any true meaning of discomfort other cues must be present such as blushing, touching the face or neck, submissive cues, eye aversion or eyes shifting, head lowered, feet turning away, hands and feet freezing, rubbing the hands on the thighs, rubbing the back of the head or neck, massaging the throat or covering the neck dimple and so forth.

Body Language Category: Adaptors, Auto contact or self touching, Defensive, Displacement behaviour, Doubt or disbelief body language, Embarrassment (nonverbal), Pacifying, Lying or deceptive body language, Negative body language, Shy nonverbal.

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Troisi A, Moles A (1999) Gender differences in depression: an ethological study
of nonverbal behaviour during interviews. J Psychiatr Res 33: 243–250.

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deception. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior 20: 65-80.

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Arousal, Autonomic signal, Embarrassment (nonverbal), Emotional body language, Nervous Body Language, Physiological signals, Shy nonverbal, Stressful body language

Body Language of Ear Blushing

by Chris • October 20, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Ear Blushing

Cue: Ear Blushing

Synonym(s): Ear Flushing

Description: Reddening of the ears.

In One Sentence: Ear reddening is a sign that someone is experiencing nervousness, stress, embarrassment, excitement, or is being physically active.

How To Use it: Ear reddening is not a cue that is usefully used and happens autonomically.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m getting worked up and blood is rushing to the periphery of my body in effort to produce a cooling effect.”

Variant: See Blanching.

Cue In Action: a) It was Stacey’s turn to present next, her heart began to race and her ears turned a bright shade of red, she was nervous. b) The marathon caused the runner to flush in the face, ears, neck and chest.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Blushing usually appears in the chest and cheeks, but it also occurs in the ears. Blushing signifies stress, excitement, embarrassment and nervousness.

Other times people are prone to blushing with relatively low stress levels as a physiological condition. Blushing can also be the result of high activity levels where blood is pumped all over the body and outer skin so it can give off heat and cool the body off.

Blushing is linked to the release of adrenaline and cortisol which courses through the body. The hormone also diverts blood flow from the digestive system and shunts it to major muscle groups giving them a burst of energy. As a side effect, our blood vessels that deliver blood to our faces dilate, meaning they relax or open, allowing more blood to reach the surface of our ears causing them to turn red.

Cue Cluster: We usually see other nervous body language with blushing such as trembling hands, head lowering, shoulder shrugging, body turned away, eye contact avoidance, shaking the head, overall freezing, and lowered voice volume.

Body Language Category: Arousal, Autonomic signal, Emotional body language, Nervous body language, Embarrassment (nonverbal), Shy nonverbal, Stressful body language, Physiological signals.

Resources:

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temperature responses in blushing. Psychophysiology, 27(6), 687–693.

Appease, Courtship display, Embarrassment (nonverbal), Escape movements, Indicator Of Sexual Interest (IOsI), Pensive displays, Readiness to submit postures, Shy nonverbal, Submissive body language

Body Language of Downcast Eyes or Eyes Down

by Chris • October 20, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Downcast Eyes or Eyes Down

Cue: Downcast Eyes or Eyes Down.

Synonym(s): Downward Gaze, Eye Dip, Eyes Down.

Description: Eyes that are averted by looking down rather than by looking left or right.

In One Sentence: Eyes cast downward signals that one is submissive or embarrassed.

How To Use it: Women are advised to use eyes cast downward in a dating context to show men that they are interested. This is one of the best ways to show that a woman is prepared to accept the dominance of a man. While this is not the only way women can show interest, it is the most universal.

Likewise, small children should use eyes down in order to gain the sympathy and care of adults. When children cast their eyes down, it makes them seem helpless which cues the desire to protect. The same effect is useful for teenagers and even adults who are looking for special privileges which they wish to receive from others.

Reducing eye contact has been shown to help reduce the level of punishment as it shows that one is shameful and submissive and thus, no longer a threat. Thus, use eyes down to placate more dominant individuals.

To avoid being called upon, such as in class, cast they eyes down to show lack of confidence.

Context: a) Dating, b) Business c) General

Verbal Translation: a) “I’m shy and I’m submit to you because I’m attracted to you.” b) “You’re the boss and I’m looking down because you are dominant and I feel threatened by you and respect you.” c) “I’m embarrassed and shamed so I’m acting like a child and submitting to your authority.”

Variant: See Eye Aversion, Gaze Avoidance and Wandering Eyes, Eye Squinting or Narrowing Eyes, Downcast Eyes or Eyes Down.

Cue In Action: a) She was casually looking around the room when her eyes met with a cute guy, she panicked and didn’t know what to do so she averted her eyes by looking down and smiled coyly as she knew she was caught with “her hand in the cookie jar.”

b) The intern kept her gaze low and listened attentively at her new boss to keep the peace and remain low on her radar.

c) When the boss came in with an angry expression, he knew this was headed in the wrong direction. He averted his eyes downward and readied to be scolded.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Indicates submission, coyness, lack of certainty, defeat, guilt, shame or embarrassment depending on the context. Down cast eyes is an indication of submission and serves to placate other more dominant people. Downcast Eyes or Eyes Down can also signify interest especially in a dating context.

Usually the person who looks away first is the more submissive or passive so long as it is done by looking down rather than left or right. The eyes averted downward evoke a protective response from others so we do it in hopes of lessening punishment. When women do it in dating, it signals interest because unlike eyes that move left and right – scanning, eyes down punctuations the eye contact to a specific person.

Alternatively, eyes down can mean someone is concentrating or evaluating information and needs to focus on a problem.

Cue Cluster: a) If she spots someone she is interested in she will quickly avert her eyes downward to show that she isn’t a threat and to show submission, and then she will take a second look. This second glance is directed only toward a man of interest and is not cast around the room. It will be short and she will rotate her head twenty-five to forty degrees to the side then look away (usually downward) within about three seconds. Women usually continue this behavior until they meet their target’s eyes. b) Eyes down in a business context when concentrating is coupled with putting up blinders such as hand to the sides of the face, hand to chin, a blank face, head bobbled from side to side weighing information and so forth. c) When downcast eyes wish to avoid confrontation they will be accompanied by a shrinking body such as shoulders down, head sunk in, palms up, torso down or away and head bowed.

Body Language Category: Appease, Courtship displays, Embarrassment (nonverbal), Escape movements, Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Pensive displays, Protective reflexes, Readiness to submit postures, Shy nonverbal, Submissive body language.

Resources:

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*No Photo, Closed body language, Distancing or moving away, Escape movements, Idiosyncratic body language, Intention movements, Shy nonverbal, Social touching, Space invasion

Body Language of The Country Handshake

by Chris • October 20, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of The Country Handshake

Cue: Country Handshake

Synonym(s): N/A

Description: A handshake where people lean in, sometimes extremely, rather than move closer.

In One Sentence: The Country handshake is one where each person keeps a significant amount of space in between themselves.

How To Use it: Use the Country handshake when greeting people who are not accustomed to close proximity.

Context: Business.

Verbal Translation: “I need a lot of personal space so I’m going to plant my feet at a distance, or back up, and away from you. To make up this gap, I’ll then lean forward and extend my hand out and away from myself. Personal space is important to me.”

Variant: A variant to the country handshake is the city handshake which includes greater proximity and represents people who are require less personal space in order to feel comfortable.

Also see Country Handshake (The), Cold Dead Wet Fish Handshake, Double Gripper Politician Handshake or Double Hander (The), Short Grabber/Finger Grabber Handshake, Oddball Handshake, Palm Up, Palm Down and Palm Even Handshakes, Stiff Arm And Thrust Forward Handshake, Death Grip Handshake, Wrench Forward Handshake, Undershaker Handshake, Wrist Hold Handshake, Wrist Hold Handshake and Upper Arm Grip Handshake, Limp Fish Handshake, Teacup Handshake, Arm Twister Handshake (The), Firm handshake, Fist Bumping.

Cue In Action: The salesman was accustomed to working with city folk, but when he was put on duty to speak with farmers about their choice in fertilizer, he was met with suspicion. When greeting farmers he shrunk the distance to try to build intimacy, but he found it difficult. The farmers would always seem to be running away or turning away as if they were too busy to talk. When the farmers shook hands, they would usually extend their hands way out, if they would at all, and when he approached closely they would lean back awkwardly. After a short meeting with his boss, the salesman resorted to waves from the edge of the laneway and dropped the handshake altogether. He found that the farmers were much more receptive.

Meaning and/or Motivation: People who live in the country are accustomed to having a high amount of space around them, so shaking hands is usually a breach of their personal space. A long distance wave is preferred.

When a handshake is tolerated, country men will extend their hands away from their bodies so as to protect from encroachment. Even city people who have high needs for personal space, will maintain their territorial bubble by thrusting their hand out. During a handshake that violates personal space, a person my thrust their arm forward during the handshake in efforts to push the other person back. This shows dominance and authority coupled with a desire for much larger personal space.

The country handshake represents a greater desire for personal space and a larger personal space bubble than normal.

Cue Cluster: The country handshake will be coupled with other cues such as turning the head away, angling the torso away, moving the body back after shaking hands and less frequent eye contact.

Body Language Category: Closed body language, Distancing or moving away, Escape movements, Idiosyncratic body language, Intention movements, Space invasion, Shy nonverbal, Social touching.

Resources:

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*No Photo, Arousal, Autonomic signal, Embarrassment (nonverbal), Emotional body language, Nervous Body Language, Shy nonverbal, Stressful body language

The Body Language Of Blushing

by Chris • October 18, 2014 • 0 Comments

The Body Language Of Blushing

Cue: Blushing

Synonym(s): Turning Red, Red Face.

Description: A reddening of the cheeks.

In One Sentence: Blushing is a signal that the body is experiencing emotional distress or is overheating due to exercise.

How To Use it: Blushing is an autonomic process that can not be consciously controlled. However, the use of artificial blush by women can make them appear flush and so more sexually appealing as it signifies that one is excited and youthful. Colouring the cheeks also produces a more healthy appearance. If one is overly flush, make-up can help dull the colouring to appear more normal. A healthy red hew is a sign of youthfulness and can be used to create positive impressions.

Context: General, Stress.

Verbal Translation: “I’m stressed and blood is being pumped all over my body to get ready to do something.” “I’m exercising and blood is rushing to the surface of my face in order to help my body cool off.”

Variant: See Ear Blushing, Blanching.

Cue In Action: It was Stacey’s turn to present next, her heart began to race and her face turned a bright shade of red. She was nervous.”

Meaning and/or Motivation: Blushing is linked to the release of adrenaline and cortisol which courses through the body when people get excited, feel pressure, are nervous, embarrassed or stressed. The hormone also diverts blood flow from the digestive system and shunts it to major muscle groups giving them a burst of energy.

As a side effect, our blood vessels that deliver blood to our faces dilate, meaning they relax or open, allowing more blood to reach the surface causing them to turn red. Blushing usually appears in the cheeks and often the upper chest.

Some people are prone to blushing with relatively low stress levels as a physiological condition. Blushing can also be the result of high activity levels where blood is pumped all over the body including the outer skin as a method for our body to cool itself by dissipating excess heat.

Body Language Category: Arousal, Autonomic signal, Embarrassment (nonverbal), Emotional body language, Nervous body language, Shy nonverbal, Stressful body language.

Resources:

Beidel, D. C., Turner, S. M., & Dancu, C. V. (1985). Physiological, cognitive and behavioral aspects of social anxiety. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 23, 109–117.

Chaker, S., Hofmann, S. G., & Hoyer, J. (2010). Can a one-weekend group therapy reduce fear of blushing? Results of an open trial. Anxiety, Stress & Coping, 23(3),
303–318.

Drummond, P. D. (1994). The effect of anger and pleasure on facial blood flow. Australian Journal of Psychology, 46, 95–99.

Drummond, P. D. (1999). Facial flushing during provocation in women. Psychophysiology, 36(3), 325–332.

Drummond, P. D. (2001). The effect of true and false feedback on blushing in women. Personality and Individual Differences, 30(8), 1329–1343.