Category: Masked body language

*No Photo, Aggressive body language, Anger body language, Arrogance or arrogant body language, Dominant body language, Hostile body language, Low confidence body language, Low confidence hand displays, Masked body language, Negative body language, Social touching

Body Language of Short Grabber Handshake or Finger Grabber Handshake

by Chris • October 28, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Short Grabber Handshake or Finger Grabber Handshake

Cue: Short Grabber Handshake.

Synonym(s): Finger Grabber Handshake.

Description: A handshake whereby only the fingers make it into the hand. Because the grip ends up short, the fingers are usually sandwiched together painfully.

In One Sentence: The finger grabber aims to cause pain and inflict dominance and aggression over others.

How To Use it: Use this handshake when you wish to intimidate other people. This can be useful in threatening competitors. This can be useful to set people straight when they are causing you problems or are encroaching on your territory. The handshake is best served to those you feel are not prepared to back up their stake of dominance over you.

Context: Business.

Verbal Translation: “I’m so insecure, but pretending to be dominant, that I’m going to put you through the ringer by grabbing your finger tips and squishing up your fingers to cause you pain.”

Variant: See Country Handshake (The), Cold Dead Wet Fish Handshake, Double Gripper Politician Handshake or Double Hander (The), Short Grabber/Finger Grabber Handshake, Oddball Handshake, Palm Up, Palm Down and Palm Even Handshakes, Stiff Arm And Thrust Forward Handshake, Death Grip Handshake, Wrench Forward Handshake, Undershaker Handshake, Wrist Hold Handshake, Wrist Hold Handshake and Upper Arm Grip Handshake, Limp Fish Handshake, Teacup Handshake, Arm Twister Handshake (The), Firm handshake, Fist Bumping.

Cue In Action: James was a routine pranker. The family reunion was no exception. It was widely known that one should avoid shaking hands with him as he frequently caused his cousins and nephews to squeal in pain by crushing their finger tips.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Someone that grabs your fingers rather than your entire hand is trying to keep you at a distance and also put you in your place. Short grabbers are usually insecure but often try to hide this by coming off as dominant through the infliction of pain and the denial of proper, though measured, intimacy which the handshake is designed to create. If they add a crushing action in addition to the finger tip grab they are trying to send and even stronger message by displaying their physical power over you.

Crushing is used to put a bit of fear into their partners so as to dismiss the likelihood of any future challenge against them. In other words, the short grabber is messing around with the handshake on purpose and trying to put another person through the ringer, so to speak.

When the handshake comes up short by accident, rather than on purpose, the other person will let up and apply less pressure or readjust so as to do a proper handshake rather than cause undo pain.

If by chance, you accidentally grab the fingers of someone else, which can happen when men shake hands with women, you can vocally suggest doing the handshake over again. A simple “sorry, that didn’t quite work, let’s give it another go” will suffice. This will show that you are concerned about starting off on the right foot and truly wish to set the proper tone for the relationship.

Cue Cluster: The finger tip grabber is usually insecure, but tries to come off as cocky and arrogant. He will be boisterous and overstep personal space boundaries. He will touch when it’s inappropriate, slap a shoulder or ruffle hair. He is often a practical joker and tries to put people through their steps doing anything to make them feel uncomfortable.

Body Language Category: Anger body language, Arrogance or arrogant body language, Aggressive body language, Dominant body language, Hostile body language, Low confidence body language, Low confidence hand displays, Masked body language, Negative body language, Social touching.

Resources:

Aström, J ; Thorell, L H ; Holmlund, U ; D’Elia, G. Handshaking, personality, and psychopathology in psychiatric patients, a reliability and correlational study. Perceptual and motor skills 1993, Vol.77(3 Pt 2): 1171-86.

Bohm. 1997. Effects of interpersonal touch, degree of justification, and sex of participant on compliance with a request. The Journal of social psychology. 137: 460-469.

Chaplin William F.; Phillips Jeffrey B; Brown Jonathan D.; Clanton Nancy R.; Stein Jennifer L.; 2000. Handshaking, gender, personality, and first impressions Journal of personality and social psychology. 79(1): 110-117.

Crusco, A. and C. Wetzel. 1984. The midas touch: the effects of interpersonal touch on restaurant tipping, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 10: 512–517.

Debrot, Anik ; Schoebi, Dominik ; Perrez, Meinrad ; Horn, Andrea B. Touch as an interpersonal emotion regulation process in couples’ daily lives: the mediating role of psychological intimacy. Personality & social psychology bulletin. 2013. 9(10): 1373-85.

Dolcos, Sanda ; Sung, Keen ; Argo, Jennifer J ; Flor-Henry, Sophie ; Dolcos, Florin. The power of a handshake: neural correlates of evaluative judgments in observed social interactions. Journal of cognitive neuroscience. 2012 24(12): 2292-305.

Frumin, Idan; Ofer Perl; Yaara Endevelt-Shapira; Ami Eisen; Neetai Eshel; Iris Heller; Maya Shemesh; Aharon Ravia; Lee Sela; Anat Arzi and Noam Sobel. A Social Chemosignaling Function for Human Handshaking. eLife 2015. 4:e05154
DOI: http://dx.doi.org/10.7554/eLife.05154.
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Fisher, J; Rytting, M and Heslin, R. 1976. Hands touching hands: affective and evaluative effects on interpersonal touch, Sociometry 39: 416–421.

Ghareeb, P.A. ; Bourlai, T. ; Dutton, W. ; McClellan, W.T. Reducing pathogen transmission in a hospital setting. Handshake verses fist bump: a pilot study. Journal of Hospital Infection. 2013. 85(4): 321-323.

Guéguen, Nicolas. Nonverbal encouragement of participation in a course: the effect of touching Social Psychology of Education. 2004. 7: 89–98.
http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/a-touching-way-to-encourage/

Gueguen, Nicolas; Sebastien Meineri and Virginie Charles-Sire. Improving Medication Adherence by Using Practitioner Nonverbal Techniques: A Field Experiment on the Effect of Touch. Journal of Behavioral Medice. 2010. 33:466–473
DOI 10.1007/s10865-010-9277-5
http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/touching-boosts-compliance-improving-medical-compliance-using-nonverbal-communication/

Guéguen, N. (2001a). Toucher et soumission a` une requeˆte: Re´plications expe´rimentales en situation naturelle et e´valuation de l’impact du statut. Revue Internationale de Psychologie Sociale. 2001(a). 14(3):113-158.

Guéguen, N. (2001b). L’effet d’influence du toucher sur le comportement du consommateur: 2 illustrations expe´rimentales en exte´rieur. Direction et Gestion: La Revue des Sciences de Gestion. 2001(b). 190–191, 123–132.

Guéguen, N and C. Jacob 2006, Touch and consumer behavior: A new experimental evidence in a field setting, International Journal of Management 23: 24–33.

Guéguen, N., & Jacob, C. The effect of touch on tipping: An evaluation in a French’s bar. International Journal of Hospitality Management. 2005. 24(2): 295-299.

Gueguen, Nicolas; Celine Jacob; Gaelle Boulbry. The Effect of Touch on Compliance With a Restaurant’s Employee Suggestion. Hospitality Management. 2007. 26: 1019-1023.
http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/touching-leads-compliance-study/

Gueguen, Nicolas. Handshaking and Compliance With a Request – A Door-to-door Setting. Social Behavior and Personality. 2013. 41(10): 1585-1588.
http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/handshakes-lead-compliance-study/

Greenbaum, Paul ; Rosenfeld, Howard. Varieties of touching in greetings: Sequential structure and sex-related differences. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior. 1980. 5(1): 13-25.

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Hareli, Shlomo; Noga Shomrat and Ursula Hess. Emotional Versus Neutral Expressions and Perceptions of Social Dominance and Submissiveness. Emotion. 2009 9(3): 378-384. DOI: 10.1037/a0015958
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Jeffrey D. Fisher; Marvin Rytting; Richard Heslin. 1976. Hands Touching Hands: Affective and Evaluative Effects of an Interpersonal Touch. Sociometry, 39(4): 416-421.

Lynn et al., 1998 M. Lynn, J.M. Le and D. Sherwyn. 1998. Reach out and touch your customers, Cornell Hotel and Restaurant Administration Quaterly 39: 60-65.

Lipsitz, Rebecca (2000). “A Gripping Start.” In Scientific American (September), p. 32.

Morris, Desmond (1994). Bodytalk: The Meaning of Human Gestures (New York: Crown Publishers).

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Sanda Dolcos; Keen Sung; Jennifer J. Argo; Sophie Flor-Henry and Florin Dolcos. The Power of a Handshake: Neural Correlates of Evaluative Judgments in Observed Social Interactions. Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience. 24; 12: 2292–2305.
http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/handshake-open-body-language-powerful-nonverbal-effect-brain/

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From Making a Fist. Society for Personality and Social Psychology. 2004. 30(6): 757-769. DOI: 10.1177/0146167204263780
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Stewart, Greg L. ; Dustin, Susan L. ; Barrick, Murray R. ; Darnold, Todd C. Zedeck, Sheldon (editor). Exploring the Handshake in Employment Interviews. Journal of Applied Psychology. 2008. 93(5): 1139-1146.

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Aggressive body language, Clenching and gripping, Courtship display, Indicator Of Sexual Interest (IOsI), Masked body language, Micromessaging, Nervous Body Language, Pacifying body language, Stressful body language, Worry body language

Body Language of Lip Biting or Biting The Lip

by Chris • October 23, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Lip Biting or Biting The Lip

Cue: Lip Biting or Biting The Lip

Synonym(s): Biting The Lip.

Description: Lightly biting the top or bottom lip with the teeth suddenly and in response to a particular stimuli or habitually and chronically.

In One Sentence: Lip biting is a sign of self restraint.

How To Use it: Women in dating can use the signal to show men that they are holding back “negative” or rather, naughty, sexually thoughts. When done properly with eye contact the signal is unmistakable. To send an even more powerful message, women should cast their eyes to the rest of the man’s body as this signals a desire for more than just friendship.

You might use lip biting in regular context to signal that you are holding back your tongue. This shows nonverbal disagreement without the risk of having to actually speak out.

Avoid chronic lip biting and chewing as this will tell others that you are self harming due to insecurity or anxiety.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m biting my lip to hold myself back because I feel that if I stop biting, my lips might be free to say something I will regret.”

Variant: As the lip bite indicates that thoughts are being held back, a woman may use it in a dating context to signal that she is holding back naughty sexual thoughts. It is particularly salient when combined with eye contact or eyes dropping to his torso, genitals, or rump. See Lip Chewing or Chewing The Lips.

Cue In Action: She was biting her lip when her boyfriend bought her some really nice flowers, but ones of which she had previously experienced an allergic reaction.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Biting the mouth indicates hidden insecurity, anxiety, embarrassment, vulnerability and a lack of self confidence. It’s main cause, however, is that an idea is being held back – “by the skin of their teeth.” It’s where the saying goes “biting one’s lip” when voicing their opinion is what someone truly desires.

However, when someone bites their lip, they feel that their idea will not be well received or they don’t feel confident enough to stand up to challenges that might raise. Other times a person bites their lip because they are carrying a negative thought they don’t want to share.

When lip biting is done chronically, it can signal persistent underlying negative feelings. In this case, lip biting is in effort to calm and pacify through energy displacement and by offering them a source of control over their pain. It is a milder version of self cutting where high anxiety individuals will use knives to scare themselves because they feel their internal world is beyond their control.

Biting the lip has also been commonly associated with female sexual seduction where the lip is bitten while observing an attractive man. The roots are similar to what is mentioned above, that is, a restraint mechanism, where the woman holds herself back from acting on her sexual impulses.

Cue Cluster: Alongside lip biting expect to see eyes averted, head down, body turned away or loose trying to blend in, hands in the pockets or hidden under a table, neck scratching or holding the back of the neck in restraint.

Body Language Category: Aggressive body language, Courtship display, Clenching and gripping, Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Masked emotions, Micromessaging, Nervous body language, Pacifying body language, Stressful body language, Worry body language.

Resources:

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http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/body-language-nail-biting/

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Amplifier, Arrogance or arrogant body language, Courtship display, Indicators of disinterest (IOD), Masked body language

Body Language of Invisible Lint Picker or Lint Picker

by Chris • October 23, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Invisible Lint Picker or Lint Picker

Cue: Invisible Lint Picker or Lint Picker

Synonym(s): Lint Picker (The), Picking Invisible Lint.

Description: When someone in mid-conversation breaks eye contact to remove lint, smooth clothing, apply lipstick and so forth.

In One Sentence: The invisible lint picker is a person who is showing nonverbal distain.

How To Use it: When you wish to send an insult that falls below the conscious radar; pick lint, especially lint that does not actually exist. Removing lint and other self-grooming gestures while listening to another speaks is an obvious insult.

Some moderate grooming in the presence of a date can indicate positive meaning, but should only include things like smoothing and adjusting clothing, fixing the hair, and so forth and not unsightly things like picking the finger nails. A good rule to follow is to avoid breaking eye contact as much as possible while grooming especially when the other person is speaking. This will result in a positive rather than a negative impression.

Context: a) General b) Dating

Verbal Translation: a) b) “I don’t like you and what you are saying so I’m going to act rude and remove fake lint from my body until you shut up.”

Variant: Pimples can be pinched, nose picking, cleaning under the nails, smoothing clothing, applying lipstick, glancing in a mirror. See Eye Aversion, Gaze Avoidance and Wandering Eyes.

Cue In Action: As Debbie was talking she noticed that Mary was much more attentive to her task of removing cat hair from her jacket than she was to her. Debbie got the message loud and clear, broke off the conversation early and carried on with her day.

Meaning and/or Motivation: a) A non-verbal displacement gesture indicating a difference of opinion, disapproval, dislike, contempt, and indifference or dismissiveness which is especially salient when lint is entirely absent indicating that the true purpose is to avoid eye contact. Removing invisible lint shows a critical listener through eye contact avoidance and distraction.

b) In dating, lint picking can sometimes indicate interest through preening to make one appear more attractive, and when done on someone else, is a form of affection. When grooming is a positive signal, it is mostly done in private, thus preparing the self to be viewed. When eye contact is visibly broken, it does however signal disinterest. When lint picking is a negative cue it can be compared to picking the nose, picking the nails or pinching pimples. They all show forms of distasteful grooming that should be done in privacy. Making others witness such grotesqueness is truly offensive and dehumanizing.

Cue Cluster: Lint picking is coupled with eye contact avoidance, overall distraction and a lack of agreement indicators.

Body Language Category: Amplifier, Arrogance or arrogant body language, Courtship display, Indicators of disinterest (IOD), Masked body language.

Resources:

Barroso, Felix ; Feld, Jason. Self-touching and attentional processes: The role of task difficulty, selection stage, and sex differences. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior. 1986. 10(1): 51-64.

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Adaptors, Amplifier, Arousal, Auto contact or self touching, Disguised gestures, Lying or deceptive body language, Masked body language, Microgestures, Pacifying body language, Stressful body language

Body Language of Hand To Nose

by Chris • October 22, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Hand To Nose

Cue: Hand To Nose

Synonym(s): Nose Touching

Description: Touching the nose, usually with the index finger or pinching it with the webbing of the thumb and index finger.

In One Sentence: Touching the nose indicates discomfort, or serves to alleviate an itch.

How To Use it: When possible make touches to the nose and other parts of the face brief and directed, as persistent nose touching is often misread as dishonesty. At worst, touching the nose is read as insecurity.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m stressed, and the blood if flowing to my nose, making me want to scratch it.”

Variant: Nose touching can happen as a quick but purposeful touch, the finger might graze the side of the nose, or it can be a persistent rubbing. Sometimes the touch is quick and dirty in an up and down motion, other times it is a brief almost unnoticeable touch to the base of the nose or its side. A person might wipe the nose with the back of their hand or come up and touch it lightly with their index finger. See Hand To Eye Gesture.

Cue In Action: During the Grand Jury testimony over Monica Lewinsky, Bill Clinton touched his nose 26 times when answering highly emotional questions. When he answered questions he found easy, his hands were nowhere near his face.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Touching the nose with the hand is a discomfort gesture linked to anxiety and therefore serves as a pacifier. Other times touching the nose provides clues that a person is lying as it indicates stress.

Face touching can come in two forms, one that serves a real function, to alleviate an itch, and one that is the result of negative feelings such as being uncomfortable and stressed. Face touching that is due to an emotion is meant as a fix behind the sensation, the emotion, and not due to any physical need.

Touching the nose has been linked to lying, but like most lie-detection cues, they aren’t absolute or reliable. We can tell when something is out of the ordinary when someone touches their nose for no reason or touches their nose while delivering critical information. The astute will find it obvious when someone is touching their nose for the purpose of alleviating an itch instead of alleviating a lie (or negative thought). Scratching is directed, specific, deep and vigorous, showing that some amount of waiting was done before the gesture was performed. Thus more relief is present when the itch is real. Itching due to negative emotions is general, shallow or glancing. This type of itch is done by bringing the index finger up, by example, and lightly touching the side of the nose where the nail is not used at all. That is, no real scratching is taking place.

When nose touching is not due to itching, then it’s due to a negative or dishonest thought from either lying, being terrified, pretending to be brave or just feeling self doubt.

Chemical known as catecholamine triggers nasal tissue to swell, but that it only induces the nose to increase in size below the level of perception. This is the real life Pinocchio effect. Even though most people will not be able to detect it, the increase in blood flow and pressure often causes a tingle in the nose, which in most people, triggers an itch response.

Some people touch their nose at the end of every sentence – it’s their idiosyncrasy. Does this mean that every word that comes from their mouth is a lie? It could be, but it is not likely. Once we’ve caught someone in a lie we can backtrack and look at the clues that preceded the lie and those that followed the lie to pick up on cues that might have given him away.

Cue Cluster: Touching the nose coupled with wiping the mouth in a down-stroke, avoiding eye contact, and fidgeting, tells us that something dishonest is probably going on.

Body Language Category: Adaptors, Amplifier, Arousal, Auto contact or self touching, Disguised gestures, Lying or deceptive body language, Masked body language, Microgestures, Pacifying, Stressful body language.

Resources:

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*No Photo, Masked body language

Body Language of Finger Keying (up and down)

by Chris • October 21, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Finger Keying (up and down)

Cue: Finger Keying (up and down)

Synonym(s): N/A

Description: The finger will come down and punctuate a point several times as if to repeat it. Think of hitting a keyboard several times.

In One Sentence: Keying the finger up and down is a batoning gesture that is usually coupled with important steps.

How To Use it: Use the keying gesture when you want to outline steps in a project but do not want to seem overbearing by using an overt fist batoning gesture. To do it properly, key up and down on a desk or other surface where it will still remain visible. Keying can also be done in the air.

Context: General

Verbal Translation: “I’m emphasizing what I’m saying by moving my finger up and down. With each point I make, my finger touches down.”

Variant: See Counting On Fingers.

Cue In Action: As he outlined the steps he would take to bring the company back on track, he tapped the table with his index finger, up and down.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Used to emphasize a point similar to the batoning gesture except done out of conscious awareness and usually out of sight. Finger keying usually happens on the lap or on a desk so shows a desire to add emphasis, but in a restrained or subtle way.

Cue Cluster: N/A

Body Language Category: Masked body language.

Resources:

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*No Photo, Aggressive body language, Arrogance or arrogant body language, Dominant body language, Low confidence body language, Low confidence hand displays, Masked body language, Negative body language, Power play, Social touching, Threat displays

Body Language of The Death Grip Handshake

by Chris • October 20, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of The Death Grip Handshake

Cue: Death Grip Handshake.

Synonym(s): Bone Crusher Handshake.

Description: A handshake that employs a macho bone crushing grip.

In One Sentence: The death grip handshake signifies the need for dominance.

How To Use it: Use the bone crusher to show your physical strength through aggression. The application is suited to situations when you want or need to maintain authority over another person. A boss should use a higher than average amount of force over junior managers and low ranking employees especially when he wishes to assert himself.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m really insecure and I’m displaying this by crushing the life out of your hand in hopes you will submit to the pressure of my strength and dominance.”

Cue In Action: Uncle Steve was always the guy you had to watch out for. He was a short, but stocky kind of guy, that worked out all the time and when he shook your hand – you knew he meant business. His grip was strong, firm, and often overbearing.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Those that employ a macho bone crushing grip have aggressive personalities and intend to try to dominant you from the start. However, the true origins of this handshake, usually lies in insecurity. The underlying negative feelings foster a need to prove themselves at every instant.

It says “I have the power over you and can cause you pain if I so desire.” They have no regard for how others perceive them and use pain to put people in their place.

Rings on the fingers can make matters even worse, and they know it! You can put these people in their place by verbalizing your pain, and drawing other people’s attention to it jokingly. Most people wont have enough confidence to be vocal about it, which is how the death gripper gets his power, but if done properly can make others laugh and set yourself apart.

Cue Cluster: Watch for cues of insecurity coupled with aggression such as encroaching on personal space, leaning in, elbow and finger jabs, playful punching, boisterousness, loud talking, pranks, and so forth.

Body Language Category: Arrogance or arrogant body language, Aggressive body language, Dominant body language, Low confidence body language, Low confidence hand displays, Masked body language, Negative body language, Power play, Social touching, Threat displays.

Resources:

Aström, J ; Thorell, L H ; Holmlund, U ; D’Elia, G. Handshaking, personality, and psychopathology in psychiatric patients, a reliability and correlational study. Perceptual and motor skills 1993, Vol.77(3 Pt 2): 1171-86.

Anderson, C. A., & Bushman, B. J. (2002). Human aggression. Annual Review of Psychology, 53, 27–51. http://dx.doi.org/10.1146/annurev.psych.53.100901.135231.

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Da Gloria, Jorge ; Duda, Danièle ; Pahlavan, Farzaneh ; Bonnet, Philippe. “Weapons effect” revisited: Motor effects of the reception of aversive stimulation and exposure to pictures of firearms. Aggressive Behavior. 1989 15(4): 265-271.

Fisher, J; Rytting, M and Heslin, R. 1976. Hands touching hands: affective and evaluative effects on interpersonal touch, Sociometry 39: 416–421.

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Hines, N.J. and Fry, D.P. (1994) ‘Indirect Modes of Aggression among Women of Buenos Aires, Argentina’, Sex Roles 30: 213–24.

Jeffrey D. Fisher; Marvin Rytting; Richard Heslin. 1976. Hands Touching Hands: Affective and Evaluative Effects of an Interpersonal Touch. Sociometry, 39(4): 416-421.

Lagerspetz, K.M.J., Bjorkqvist, K. and Peltonen, T. (1988) ‘Is Indirect Aggression Typical of Females? Gender Differences in Aggressiveness in 11- to 12-year-old Children’, Aggressive Behavior 14: 403–14.

Lipsitz, Rebecca (2000). “A Gripping Start.” In Scientific American (September), p. 32.

Morris, Desmond (1994). Bodytalk: The Meaning of Human Gestures (New York: Crown Publishers).

Nell, Victor. Crueltys rewards: The gratifications of perpetrators and spectators. Behavioral and Brain Sciences. 2006. 29(3): 211-224.

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Pease, Barbara and Allan Pease. 2006. The Definitive Book of Body Language Hardcover. Bantam.

Pailing, Andrea ; Boon, Julian ; Egan, Vincent. Personality, the Dark Triad and violence
Personality and Individual Differences. 2014. 67: 81-86.

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Wesson, David A. The handshake as non-verbal communication in business. (marketing technique). Marketing Intelligence & Planning. 1992. 10(9): 61(6).

Auto contact or self touching, Barriers, Body cross, Closed body language, Defensive body language, Emotional body language, Lying or deceptive body language, Masked body language, Pacifying body language, Protective reflexes

Body Language of Covering The Neck Dimple or Hand To Lower Neck

by Chris • October 20, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Covering The Neck Dimple or Hand To Lower Neck

Cue: Covering The Neck Dimple or Hand to Lower Neck

Synonym(s): Covering The Suprasternal Notch, Hand To Lower Neck, Playing With A Necklace, Neck Dimple Cover, Adjusting The Tie, Tie Adjustment.

Description: A primarily female body language cue where the hand will come up to the upper chest or lower neck and cover the suprasternal notch or neck dimple. Men will substitute this gesture for adjusting the tie or massaging the throat.

In One Sentence: Covering the neck dimple or suprasternal notch is a sign that a person is feeling nervous, distressed, threatened, insecure, fearful, or uncomfortable.

How To Use it: Use this cue to show other people that you are not comfortable with the situation. You might assume the posture when receiving worrisome news. Appearing uncomfortable when the situation warrants it will have others offer sympathetic words, gestures or even offer to rectify the situation on your behalf. The posture also creates a soothing affect which can help mitigate nervousness or anxiety. Stroking the upper chest can release positive stress reducing hormones.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m performing a partial arm cross by bringing my hand up to the “suprasternal notch” which is the dimple just below the neck between the Adam’s apple and the breast bone because I’m nervous, distressed, threatened, insecure, fearful or uncomfortable.”

Variant: See Partial Arm Cross or Incomplete Arm Cross, Blading Body Language, Body Angling or Ventral Displays, Arm Crossing, Neck Scratching or Neck Massaging.

Cue In Action: Imagine a tense negotiation between a couple who are making plans for their honeymoon vacation. The wife might be cupping her arm under her elbow while covering her suprasternal notch while the husband clasps the back of his neck in a restraint posture. As he concedes she might drop one or even both arms. With no concession from her, he might remain negatively locked or might place his arms crossed on his chest. Sensing his negative body language, she might agree to a compromise.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Women are particularly prone to bringing their hand up to the “suprasternal notch” which is the dimple just below the neck between the Adam’s apple and the breast bone when nervous, distressed, threatened, insecure, fearful or uncomfortable. Covering the suprasternal notch is one of the nonverbal signals that is unmistakable and also reliable in predicting emotional distress. It is significant and reliable enough that it shouldn’t be ignored.

While touching the neck and nose can be the result of fear or nervousness, they can also be meant as pacifying behaviours. Pacifying behaviours happen automatically. Our brains send a message to our bodies that we need to be pacified and out go our hands to serve the purpose.

Cue Cluster: Watch for the neck to be massaged, playing with a necklace, stroking the face, playing with the hair, stroking hands against the thighs, sucking on a pen, biting the fingernails, picking or pulling at the skin, etc.

Body Language Category: Auto contact or self touching, Barriers, Body cross, Closed body language, Defensive, Emotional body language, Lying or deceptive body language, Masked body language, Pacifying, Protective reflexes.

Resources:

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Anger body language, Clenching and gripping, Closed body language, Closed facial gestures, Emotional body language, Frustration or frustrated body language, Honest body language, Leaked or involuntary body language, Masked body language, Negative body language

Body Language of Compressed Lips or Stiff Upper Lip

by Chris • October 20, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Compressed Lips or Stiff Upper Lip

Cue: Compressed Lips

Synonym(s): Tight Lips, Lip Compression, Disappearing Lips, Stiff Upper Lip, Inward Lip Roll, Lip Pursing, Lip Puckering, Pursed Lips, Puckering, Prune Lips.

Description: Done by pressing the lips together to the point where they begin to disappear.

In One Sentence: Lip compression is a negative thought indicator.

How To Use it: Compress the lips when you want others to know that you disapprove of them or their ideas but do not wish to speak out and say so verbally. Compressing the lips also shows others that you are anxious or stressed. By demonstrating this “honest cue” one can show others that you wish for them to change their tactic to better suit your stance.

Context: General

Verbal Translation: “I’m having a hard time with this and so I’m going to suck my lip in and consume it while I deal with negative thought or while I am in deep concentration.” “I’m biting back my words.” “I’m holding something back with my mouth by pressing my lips together so no negative thoughts escape which may get me into trouble.”

Variant: The jaw is often tensed coupled with compressed lips showing additional negative thoughts. Note that Compressed Lips (lips flattened) is related, but not the same as a Lip Pucker (lips pushed out).

Cue In Action: a) She really wanted to speak out about the eighteen year old would-be-wife but she maintained a stiff upper lip and kept quiet. b) He was really contemplating a thought, and wanted to speak-up, you could tell from his compressed lips, but instead he kept steady and quiet. c) She rarely held full, relaxed lips, she carried many negative thoughts around with her throughout the day.

Meaning and/or Motivation: A universal trait done to signify stress, anxiety, anger, frustration and an overall negative thought indicator. The lips are tightened to contain and stifle emotion or signal deep concentration and internal turmoil. It is opposite to full expressive lips that show contentment. The subconscious mind is essentially telling the body to close down and not let anything out – to bottle it up and withhold information or feelings.

Tight compressed lips happen honestly and immediately so reflect true stress sentiments revealing a troubled mind.

Alternatively, a tight lip indicates thought process when someone is indecisive. This can be particularly useful in business. Picture someone reading a document or contract aloud. Lip pursing will happen in real time as judgment arises. Other times, lip pursing is done to show outright disagreement. Usually the eyebrows will frown in unison with pursed lips. Lip pursing is a very reliable indicator of different thought processing, and it would be foolish to ignore it. Watch the lips for these quick flashes will tell you a lot about what is going on inside someone’s head. Tight lips can also form due to sexual arousal and sexual tension, but this comes across more as pursing with accompanying sexual clues.

Cue Cluster: Compressed lips are accompanied by other restraint postures such as hand to the back of the neck, hand clenching, eye contact avoidance, head turned away and ventral denial and jaw clenching.

Body Language Category: Anger, Clenching and gripping, Closed body language, Closed facial gestures, Emotional body language, Honest body language, Frustration or frustrated body language, Leaked or involuntary body language, Masked body language, Negative body language.

Resources:

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Barriers, Body cross, Closed body language, Masked body language, Negative body language

Body Language Of Coffee Cup Barrier Or Handbag Barrier

by Chris • October 20, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language Of Coffee Cup Barrier Or Handbag Barrier

Cue: Coffee Cup Barrier or Handbag Barrier

Synonym(s): Barriers, Drink Barrier, Blocking, Shields, Handbag Barrier, Placing Objects In Front, Hiding Behind Objects, Clutching A Jacket Over The Chest, Books Over The Chest, Hugging Books, Hugging A Jacket.

Description: While sitting or standing, a drink is held across the front of the body as if the arms were crossed.

In One Sentence: Blocking the body off with a barrier such as a cup of coffee is a way to partially block off the body from outside interference.

How To Use it: While is it generally advised to keep the body open to others, one can send a message of caution to others by holding a drink horizontally in front of the body to create a barrier. This will help you feel more comfortable by maintain separation.

In a dating context, the barrier can be used by women to show men that they are not willing to develop high intimacy. When a drink is not available, one can grasp the other wrist or play with a wrist band, watch, or for men, a cufflink.

These cues should be avoided when one wishes to appear confident, however.

Context: a) General b) Dating c) Business

Verbal Translation: “I’m using my drink or other object in a masked arm cross to give me protective feelings because I feel uneasy and exposed.”

Variant: Any object such as a purse, book, binder or papers, or jacket can be held against the chest to act as a protective devise. The cufflink or a wristwatch can also be played with to create another masked arm cross. See Masked Arm Cross.

Cue In Action: a) As Dave and Jim sat at dinner, they each held their glass on the opposite side and rested their arm across the table to maintain separation. b) While socializing with an attractive woman, he held his beer at chest level across the front of his body. c) When it came time to decide on the deal, she took a sip of her coffee and placed it back on the table. This time it was on the opposite side and she held her forearm across the table. He new she wasn’t going to come to a favourable decision.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Holding an object across the body is a way to cross the arms without actually crossing them. It is a way that people can appear to be open, but still find the security of cutting off the body from perceived attack. Holding a drink across the body as barrier is a closed body position, which is either unintentional and done out of habit, or is actually a signal indicating a negative thought.

Many times people will find drinks at social gatherings when first arriving. An alcoholic drink not only gives them more social confidence but also gives their hands something to do and more importantly it helps form a barrier across their chest, keeping people at a distance.

If the cue is done routinely, then it usually only indicates a mild need for security and protection afforded by a barrier. If it happens suddenly such as during a negotiation, it often indicates that a person has cooled to an idea and it will likely be met with rejection.

Cue Cluster: Watch for other negative or insecure body language such as touching the face, leaning away, feet pointed away, cowering, blushing, turning the torso away and so forth to decide just how much a person wishes to protect themselves.

Body Language Category: Barriers, Body cross, Masked body language, Negative body language, Closed body language, Security blankets.

Resources:

Bernstein, Constance. Winning trials nonverbally: six ways to establish control in the courtroom. Trial. 1994. 30(1).61(5).

Beaulieu, Catherine. Intercultural Study of Personal Space: A Case Study. Journal of Applied Social Psychology. 2004 34(4):794-805.

Balzarotti, Stefania ; Piccini, Luca ; Andreoni, Giuseppe ; Ciceri, Rita “I Know That You Know How I Feel”: Behavioral and Physiological Signals Demonstrate Emotional Attunement While Interacting with a Computer Simulating Emotional Intelligence. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior. 2014. 38(3): 283-299.

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*No Photo, Adornments, Amplifier, Courtship display, Elective nonverbal traits, Masked body language, Power play, Relaxed body language

Body Language of Clothing

by Chris • October 20, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Clothing

Cue: Clothing.

Synonym(s): Dress, Fashion, Overdressing, Underdressing, Practical Dressing, Casual Dress, Dressing Casually, Dressing Practically, Attire, Uniform.

Description: The body language associated with ones attire.

In One Sentence: Clothing represents an elective form of nonverbal expression which indicate how a person wishes to be perceived by others.

How To Use it: Using clothing to create a desired impression. When you apply clothing, remember that regardless of your desire, certain character traits will be ascribed to you regardless of your desires. These will be either correct or incorrect. If one wishes to be viewed in one way or another, one should be conscious of how one presents oneself. For example, revealing clothing will result in others believing that you are sexually easy or promiscuous. Wearing heavy clothing during hot weather will lead others to assume that you are prudish. Use clothing to create the impression you wish is complicated and person specific, but one simply needs to understand that one has a high degree of control over the perceptions of others and these can be manipulated with nonverbal displays including fashion. Some experimentation may be required to produce the results you desire.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “My clothing is a reflection of my inner thoughts, feelings and values.”

Variant: See Unkept or Dowdiness, Dressing Sexy.

Cue In Action: a) The teenager usually let his underwear show above his loose pants. He didn’t care what the adults thought about him. b) The teacher sent the girls to the principle if their skirts were too short. c) She was always well put together with expensive gowns and jewelry. d) He didn’t care what people thought of him, he felt that jogging pants were the most comfortable daily attire. e) She made waves with her low cut blouse and ample cleavage.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Clothing is a very potent nonverbal cue as it gives off all sorts of vital information about its wearer. It is a nonverbal language all onto itself. Before we even speak with one another, our clothing creates an image about us, it also tells of our sex, age, occupation, origins, social class, personality and beliefs. Clothing can also tell others where we are going as well as what we are about to do. A business suit for example, indicates that one is conducting business or a summer dress indicates that one is on vacation. In other words, clothing provides context.

As a language, clothing can be conventional or eccentric, clothing can give off signals about whom one wants to be or become. Teenagers place importance on designer clothing so they can impress their friends and fit in, but as we grow older, our shift takes on a more specific role as we tailor our attire to the functions we attend and to the status we want to hold.

Clothing also sets us apart from others in terms of values. The eccentric often have flamboyant clothing to differentiate themselves from others showing that their ideas about life are different than the rest of those around them.

How one ‘wears’ what they wear also gives off indicators of their disposition. For example, the uptight employee that does his collar up to the top, or the laid back employee who fails to properly tighten his neck tie or avoids wearing one at all. Having buttons done up tight as opposed to having an open suite jacket also has meaning. Having un-pressed pants, dirty shoes or even no shoes, at all, provide details of other people’s disposition. Using inappropriately loose or tight clothing can also give us clues as to the nature of the person. Removing a tie midday under a strict dress code indicates that the person is rebellious and defiant. Unbuttoning a blouse to show more cleavage could lead to being labeled easy or a seductress.

Dress plays a big part in first and daily impressions and also provides excellent cues to be read in others.

Over dressing: Someone who is low in confidence but and tries to make up for it by using fashion as a crutch. These people may also be striving for extra attention from others to make up for their insecurities.

Under dressing: A person who feels that outward appearances are of no value or who lacks the desire to conform to social norms.

Practical dresser or practical fashion: A style that is more focused on functionality and utility instead of extravagance. People who wear practical attire are at ease with themselves. Typically they are not self-centered, are willing to go against the grain so as to feel comfortable in their clothing, or are frugal.

Dressing sexy: Someone who wishes to gain attention and power through sex appeal.

Cue Cluster: Watch for congruence between how one dresses and the body language they carry. While someone might overdress, you might find other clues to insecurity. If someone dresses sexy, they may also give off flirtatious cues. Some women might act catty toward, or challenge other women if they are looking for sexual attention from men. Someone who under-dresses, might have a lax attitude or lack the desire to conform. Watch for awkward body language and speech patterns as well as blushing or a desire to exit social gatherings. The practical dresser might have a more casual approach and seem at ease in every situation. When the attire doesn’t match the body language, you have likely spotted a rouse. This person may be trying to fake others through dress.

Body Language Category: Adornments, Amplifier, Courtship display, Elective nonverbal traits, Masked body language, Relaxed body language, Power play.

Resources:

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