Category: Indicator of interest (IoI)

Body pointing, Disapproval cues, Disengagement body language, Dislike (nonverbal), Distancing or moving away, Escape movements, Indicator of interest (IoI), Indicators of disinterest (IOD), Intention movements, Orienting reflex or orienting response, Ready posture, Rejection body language

Body Language of Toe Pointing or Pointed Toe

by Chris • October 29, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Toe Pointing or Pointed Toe

Cue: Toe Pointing or Pointed Toe.

Synonym(s): Pointed Toe, Foot Pointing, Feet Indicating, Feet Toward, Feet Away, Goodbye Feet, Honest Feet, Foot Pointing Language.

Description: When the feet point toward the direction they wish to travel.

In One Sentence: Toes are believed to subconsciously signal the direction in which people wish to travel, or in the direction in which they are thinking.

How To Use it: Foot pointing usually goes unnoticed, however, to show intimacy and focus, orient the entire body toward the person who you wish to express your undivided attention. This works well in business, dating, as well as other relationships. Showing others that they have your nonverbal attention is much more powerful than simply lending an ear or an eye. Despite the cue being out of usual awareness, it is quite likely that others will pick up on your cue and ascribe to you positive attributes. See Meaning and/or Motivation for more ideas about constructive uses for foot pointing.

Context: a) General b) Dating.

Verbal Translation: “My feet are honest and point in the direction I wish to travel.”

Variant: See Arm Withdrawal or Leg Withdrawal.

Cue In Action: a) In his excitement, he failed to realize that his buddy really needed to get going. His buddy’s head began to drag backwards, his torso faced away, and his feet were aimed away from him and toward his car. His body language really said that he needed to get going. b) He wasn’t interested and wanted to leave – his feet slowly inched toward the doorway rather than toward her. On the other hand, her feet were directly facing, and extended, in his direction. The affection was not mutual.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Feet are intension cues because they are the earliest indicators of where the mind wishes to go. Feet point to doorways when someone wants to leave and away from people they do not agree with. If feet are pointed away from you, it’s a strong indicator that a person wishes to be elsewhere.

It has been said that the feet are the most honest part of the body as it applies to the language they emit. Millions of years ago, we gave up quadrupedalism to walk upright, leaving our feet to the dirt. While our hands busied themselves with other complex tasks like fire building, making clothing, shelters and throwing spears, our legs were relegated to more primitive activities like locomotion.

The feet have always carried out more traditional tasks like escaping predators, avoiding hot sand or coals from a fire, leaping from slithering snakes or poisonous spiders, or navigating rough rocking river bottoms. The feet were therefore connected more to the reptilian brain that reacts to stimuli directly. The feet don’t contemplate higher order tasks that require planning.

Feet, therefore, make great predictors of behaviour. For example, we know that children are interested in play rather then eating when their legs bounce at the dinner table. Their feet bounce up and down as they quickly gobble their food so they don’t miss the action. Even if feet don’t fidget they will still point, or inch toward the door in effort to prepare for escape. Therefore, the feet of adults reveal true emotions by pointing away from boring conversations and towards things they find attractive or stimulating.

Cue Cluster: Usually the torso also tends to aim in the direction of desired travel, along with the head. Conversations will begin to dry up, agreement indicators either speed up to quicken the conversation or slow down if there is little more to say. Barriers like arm crossing or partial arm crossing will accompany the foot indication.

Body Language Category: Body pointing, Disengagement body language, Dislike (nonverbal), Disapproval cues, Distancing or moving away, Escape movements, Indicators of disinterest (IOD), Indicator of interest (IoI), Intention movements, Orienting reflex or orienting response (a), Rejection body language, Ready language.

Resources:

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*No Photo, Amplifier, Buy signals, Eye Language, Indicator of interest (IoI), Indicators of disinterest (IOD), Pensive displays

Body Language of Removing Eye Glasses Body Language

by Chris • October 27, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Removing Eye Glasses Body Language

Cue: Removing Eye Glasses

Synonym(s): Glasses Removal, Eye Glasses Removal, Taking Off Glasses, Sucking On Eye Glasses, Eye Glasses Tossing, Cleaning Eye Glasses, Eye Glasses Cleaning.

Description: Removal of the eyeglasses.

In One Sentence: Removing the eyeglasses is a signal that one is looking to buy extra time, or an activity requiring them such as reading, has ended.

How To Use it: Remove the glasses in a business setting when you want to buy some time for reflection. After removing the glasses, you can buy even more time by wiping them down. This can be used during important negotiation to break tension and provide time for the other party to rethink and possible add extra incentives.

Removing the glasses and tossing them aside is a great way to show other people that you are done evaluating and that you are prepared to accept or reject a proposition. The way in which it is done, lightly, or forcefully but casting them aside, can tell others if they need to sweeten their offer. For more emphasis, rub the forehead to show how hard you are struggling to reach a conclusion.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: a) “I’m removing my glasses and cleaning them because I’m trying to stall for time.” b) “I’m removing my glasses so I can avoid seeing things I find distasteful.” c) “I’m removing my glasses because I’m thinking things over and am not interested in receiving any additional information.”

Variant: See Eye Glasses Language, Sunglasses Body Language and Peering Over Glasses.

Cue In Action: a) It was a heated negotiation. Dave was focused with his eye glasses tucked right up to the bridge of his nose. He kept them there while he read the contract. When someone spoke out of turn, he lowered them to the tip of his nose and peered over the top. This made the junior member uncomfortable forcing him to quiet. b) Mid way through, Dave took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes showing his distress. When someone added more input he cut them off, removed his glasses, and put them on the desk. He thought for a moment before putting them back on. He continued with a few more questions. Once answered, he removed his glasses, folded them up and tossed them aside. Sensing things were not going well, they added a bonus clause. Dave recovered his glasses and began to clean them, while contemplating the addition. As he sucked on the arm of the glasses, he put his arm out and shook the hand of the associate – they had a deal.

Meaning and/or Motivation: While in discussion can mean distraction, disinterest or a stalling technique depending on the context (see Cue In Action for eye glasses used in sequence to show thought process).

If eyes become focused on another person while cleaning the glasses, it might spell overt displeasure or passive aggressiveness. If glasses are removed and cleaned when they do not need cleaning at all, it might be read as stalling. The same goes for glasses that are repeatedly cleaned, especially during a difficult negotiation.

Taking eyeglasses off and sucking on the arms indicates pensiveness as someone processes information. Glasses removal indicate that a person does not like what they are seeing and need time to contemplate it by not accepting any further stimulus from the visual spectrum.

Removing the glasses is a form of eye blocking because it cuts vision off. If eyeglasses are put back on and a decision has not been reached, then it’s likely that a person requires more information.

Eyeglasses are sometimes removed when people don’t want the attention to be on them, a sort of checking out gesture. Other times glasses are tossed on a desk haphazardly to show distain, rejection, and negative thoughts. If glasses are removed and folded up, it often signals that a meeting is over.

Cue Cluster: Cue clusters can be as varied as the intent of the message. See the Cue In Action for likely scenarios.

Body Language Category: Amplifier, Buy signals, Eye Language, Indicators of disinterest (IOD), Indicator of interest (IoI), Pensive displays.

Resources:

Borkenau, P. (1991). Evidence of a correlation between wearing glasses and personality. Personality and Individual Differences, 12, 1125-1128. doi:10.1016/0191-8869(91)90074-L

Cheng-Hung Lo; Chao-Yang Yang; Po-Tsang Lin; Kuo-Jung Hsieh: Ying-Chieh Liu and Wen-Ko Chiou. Are Human Faces More Attractive With Glasses?, Journal of the Chinese Institute of Industrial Engineers. 2012. 29(2): 125-135, DOI:10.1080/10170669.2012.662917
http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/body-language-glasses-faces-attractive-glasses-glasses-say

Edwards, K. (1987). Effects of sex and glasses on attitudes toward intelligence and attractiveness. Psychological Reports, 60, 590.

Harris, M. B., Harris, R. J., & Bochner, S. (1982). Fat, four-eyed, and female: Stereotypes of obesity, glasses, and gender. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 12, 503-516. doi:10.1111/j.1559-1816.1982. tb00882.x

Harris, M.B. (1991). Sex differences in stereotypes of spectacles. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 21, 1659–1680. doi 10.1111/j.1559-1816.1991.tb00497.x

Hasart, J. K.,&Hutchinson, K. L. (1993). The effects of eyeglasses on perceptions of interpersonal-attraction. Journal of Social Behavior and Personality, 8, 521–528.

Hellström, A., & Tekle, J. (1994). Person perception through facial photographs: Effects of glasses, hair, and beard on judgments of occupation and personal qualities. European Journal of Social Psychology, 24, 693–705. doi 10.1002/ejsp.2420240606

Keiierman, Joan M. and James D. Laird. The Effect of Appearance on Self Perception. Journal of Personality. 1982; 50: 3.
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Lundberg, J. K., & Sheehan, E. P. (1994). The effects of glasses and weight on perceptions of attractiveness and intelligence. Journal of Social Behavior and Personality, 9, 753–760.

Leder, Helmut ; Forster, Michael ; Gerger, Gernot. The Glasses Stereotype Revisited: Effects of Eyeglasses on Perception, Recognition, and Impression of Faces. Swiss Journal of Psychology. 2011. 70(4): 211-222.

Pease, Barbara and Allan Pease. 2006. The Definitive Book of Body Language Hardcover. Bantam.

Roberson, Debi ; Kikutani, Mariko ; Doge, Paula ; Whitaker, Lydia ; Majid, Asifa. Shades of Emotion: What the Addition of Sunglasses or Masks to Faces Reveals about the Development of Facial Expression Processing. Cognition. 2012. 125(2): 195-206.

Terry, R. L. (1993). How wearing eyeglasses affects facial recognition. Current Psychology, 12, 151–162. doi 10.1007/ BF02686820

Terry,R. L.,&Hall, C. A. (1989). Affective responses to eyeglasses: Evidence of a sex difference. Journal of American Optometrist Association, 60, 609–611.

Terry, R. L., & Kroger, D.L. (1976). Effects of eye correctives on ratings of attractiveness. Perceptual and Motor Skills, 42, 562. doi 10.2466/PMS.42.2.562

*No Photo, Amplifier, Arousal, Autonomic signal, Buy signals, Courtship display, Dislike (nonverbal), Emotional body language, Excited body language, Eye Language, Indicator of interest (IoI), Indicator Of Sexual Interest (IOsI), Indicators of disinterest (IOD), Indicators of sexual disinterest (IOsD), Leaked or involuntary body language, Liking, Microexpression

Body Language of Pupillary Reflex, Pupil Dilation or Pupillary Constriction

by Chris • October 27, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Pupillary Reflex, Pupil Dilation or Pupillary Constriction

Cue: Pupillary Reflex

Synonym(s): Pupillometrics, Pupillary Constriction.

Description: The pupils of the eyes (the dark part of the eye) expand or contract dependent on the level of arousal. The pupils will automatically open up and allow more light into the eye on arousal or if we see something we like. Conversely, they will contract or close when we see things we don’t like. The pupils also respond automatically to changes in light. They open when it’s dark and close when it’s bright. This protects our eye from harm and increases our ability to see as the level of light changes.

In One Sentence: The papillary reflex refers to the dilation of the pupils in response to arousal.

How To Use it: Pupils react autonomically to light and emotion, thus it is not something that can be consciously controlled. However, one might artificially create situations which control the size of the pupil. For example, to create wide attractive pupils simply set up dates in low lighting conditions. Candlelight, for example will cause the pupils to dilate, thus making them more attractive. Women can make their eyes more dreamy in profile photos by digitally enhancing the size of their pupils. Likewise, matching your desires to reality will cause eyes to dilate naturally. In other words, finding a correct dating match, which really creates excitement, will naturally produce eyes that dilate, thus compounding the attraction effects.

Context: a) General b) Dating.

Verbal Translation: “When I’m aroused or when I like what I’m seeing, my pupils dilate and open wide so I can take it all in. When I’m turned off, or it’s bright, my pupils contract and take in less light.”

Variant: See Bedroom Eyes or Dialated Pupils.

Cue In Action: a) Mom’s eyes dilated to the max as she watched her newborn baby. a) During poker, he hit the card he liked and his eyes dilated widely, fortunately he wore sunglasses protecting them from sight. b) Her eyes dilated as she observed her muscularly sculpted boyfriend undress.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Pupillometrics is the study of pupil size in relation to emotion such as liking, interest, fear and dislike. Research has shown that young children have larger pupils than adults. This is probably a way for kids to appear more attractive and gain favour and attention. Watch how cartoonist’s habitually embellish the eyes of their characters to make them more appealing.

Pupil dilation can help a body language reader assess when emotion is taking place. Under stress or arousal of any kind, be it liking or visceral disliking, the pupils expand to permit more light to enter facilitating vision. This can include stress and fear due to lying, any other fearful situation and even attraction.

Conversely, the eyes contract due to not liking. This is an entirely autonomic process and not consciously controlled. When assessing someone on their pupil size, be sure to account for changes in ambient light, as the pupils will also respond to these changes.

Cue Cluster: Watch for congruency in body language to determine the meaning behind the pupillary reflex. Liking (dilation) would be coupled with head tilted to the side, open and relaxed facial expressions, smiling and loose body language. Disliking (contraction) would be coupled with head on, hard eyes, pursed lips, grimacing, eyebrows coming together and so forth. Also watch for changes in ambient light which will also determine the meaning behind the pupils.

Body Language Category: Amplifier, Arousal, Autonomic signal, Buy signals, Courtship display, Dislike (nonverbal), Emotional body language, Eye Language, Excited body language, Indicators of disinterest (IOD), Indicator of interest (IoI), Indicators of sexual disinterest (IOsD), Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Leaked or involuntary body language, Liking, Microexpressions.

Resources:

Ariel, Robert and Castel, Alan. Eyes wide open: enhanced pupil dilation when selectively studying important information. Experimental Brain Research, 2014. 232(1):.337-344.

Ahern S, Beatty J (1979) Pupillary responses during information processing vary with scholastic aptitude test scores. Science 205:1289–1292

Adolphs, Ralph A. 2006. Landmark study finds that when we look at sad faces, the size of the pupil we look at influences the size of our own pupil Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience. 1(1): 3-4

Aranguren, Martin. “Nonverbal interaction patterns in the Delhi Metro: interrogative looks and play-faces in the management of interpersonal distance.” Interaction Studies. 2016. 16(1) forthcoming.
http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/seriously-stop-touching-use-nonverbal-signaling-manage-unwanted-touching-busy-public-areas

Aranguren, Martin and Stephane Tonnelat. Emotional Transactions in the Paris Subway: Combining Naturalistic Videotaping, Objective Facial Coding and Sequential Analysis in the Study of Nonverbal Emotional Behavior. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior. 2014. 38:495–521. DOI 10.1007/s10919-014-0193-1

Beatty J (1982) Task-evoked pupillary responses, processing load, and the structure of processing resources. Psychol Bull 91:276–292

Bijleveld E, Custers R, Aarts H (2009) The unconscious eye opener: pupil size reveals strategic recruitment of resources upon presentation of subliminal reward cues. Psychol Sci 20:1313–1315

Bradley MM, Miccoli L, Escrig MA, Lang PJ (2008) The pupil as a measure of emotional arousal and autonomic activation. Psychophysiology 45: 602–607.

Daniel J. Kruger and Jory S. Piglowski. The Effect of Eyelid Constriction on Perceptions of Mating Strategy: Beware of the Squinty-Eyed Guy! Personality and Individual Differences. 2012. 52: 576-580.
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Daniel H. Lee, Reza Mirza, John G. Flanagan and Adam K. Anderson. Optical Origins of Opposing Facial Expression Actions. Psychological Science published online 24 January 2014 DOI: 10.1177/0956797613514451
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Inborn behaviours, Indicator of interest (IoI), Indicator Of Sexual Interest (IOsI), Liking, Rapport or rapport building

Body Language of Mirroring or Isopraxis

by Chris • October 24, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Mirroring or Isopraxis

Cue: Mirroring or Isopraxis

Synonym(s): Isopraxis, Synchrony.

Description: In the simplest form, mirroring is copying or echoing the gestures, postures, movements, muscle tension, expressions, voice tonality, breathing, tempo and eye movements of someone else.

In One Sentence: Mirroring is a type of nonverbal behaviour which signals agreement and like-mindedness.

How To Use it: Mirroring has been shown to be highly affective in creating strong bonds and agreement. Mirroring finds its place in business and friendship. Research has found that those who tend to mirror each other most, tend to produce the best creative solutions to problems. Therefore, you might use mirroring in order to show others agreement and help produce cohesion.

In dating, mirroring shows intimacy. Doing so purposely can be used to grow a relationship faster than otherwise possible.

Mirroring should be done subtly and does not always have to be done synchronously or exactly. In fact, doing so can make people feel uncomfortable.

In business, as in other relationships, mirroring will create liking and trust. This can produce desired results especially when these feelings are important.

Context: a) General b) Dating.

Verbal Translation: “Look at us, we’re all on the same page, we act the same, therefore we are in agreement and forming rapport.”

Variant: N/A.

Cue In Action: a) In ancient times, mirroring would have created group cohesion and identity. Sports groups, riot officers, firemen, and a myriad of occupations all wear the same uniform. It is this dress that formulates the beginnings of the behaviour that eventually leads to a group’s ability to function in unison.

Imagine if policemen all showed up in different dress and tried to control a crowd. To the rioters, they would seem as if they were rogue rioters themselves which would only exacerbate the problem. The rioters would identify the policemen as part of their group instead of part of the police group, which would only lead to additional chaos.

b) As they interacted at the edge of the bar, the couple began to imitate each other’s postures and cues. They each had one leg on the rail of the bar, one hand on the bar top and one hand on their drink. Nearing the end of the night, they laughed in unison, drank in unison, preened in unison. They were in synchrony and the romance was growing.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Mirroring also called “isopraxis” from the Greek iso meaning same and praxis, meaning behaviour. Mirroring is one of the most important aspects of building empathy with people as it establishes common ground and is akin to a communication dance. Mirroring can cut so deep that breathing, blinking, and even our heart rates can beat in unison. Mirroring is such a profound quality of social animals as a whole. Mirroring plays an important part in the ‘mating dance’ as couples interact and build rapport.

Mirroring happens naturally between people we like and with whom have formed a connection. Mirroring is as important to lifelong friends as to strangers meeting for the first time, since mirroring is a way to test and maintain the level of rapport being established between two people or groups of people. When full mirroring appears it is as if each person is looking into a mirror and seeing their reflection. When full mirroring happens, it indicates a high level or rapport, or connectivity between people.

We mirror as a form of bonding with one another, and it happens without our conscious awareness. Children learn to imitate our facial expressions and quickly graduate to imitating our body positions, and then later they imitate us as we carry out tasks. If you’ve even driven with a youngster, you’ve watched them pretend to drive with their arms up, rocking the wheel left and right, or working the stick shift. Imitation has been said to be the greatest form of flattery and in mirroring this is the case.

Mirroring applies to almost every walk of life, in every office or business across the planet. We act and dress a certain way even when we are relaxing with friends. When we go to concerts we clap, sing, stand and drink together. Mirroring says that we are on the same page. It’s like saying look at the two of us, we walk the same, talk the same and our bodies move in unison, therefore we must agree.

Cue Cluster: N/A

Body Language Category: Inborn behaviours, Indicator of interest (IoI), Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Liking, Rapport or rapport building.

Resources:

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Adaptors, Amplifier, Barriers, Blocking or Shielding, Body cross, Body pointing, Closed body language, Defensive body language, Idiosyncratic body language, Indicator of interest (IoI), Intention movements, Undivided attention (nonverbal)

Body Language of Leg Crossing and Leg Crossing Direction

by Chris • October 23, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Leg Crossing and Leg Crossing Direction

Cue: Leg Crossing and Leg Crossing Direction.

Synonym(s): Crossing The Legs, Thigh-Thigh Cross.

Description: A proper sitting posture where one leg crosses over the knee of the other leg.

In One Sentence: Leg crossing is a closed body posture demonstrating the desire to protect privacy.

How To Use it: Women should make it a habit to cross the legs regardless of the type of attire they wear, but especially so if they are wearing short skirts or dresses or are trying to appear feminine. Our current culture affords women the liberty to comport themselves however they see fit, however, this does speak directly toward our values. In other words, if women wish to be perceived as “lady-like” and feminine, rather than masculine (the current default), crossing the legs is an apt nonverbal display.

Men also benefit from crossing the legs, much like women. When men cross their legs rather than splay them open, they appear more proper and sophisticated, not to mention respectful.

As always, one must use body language to create the results that are most desired.

Context: a) General, b) Dating.

Verbal Translation: “I’m somewhat reserved so I’m closing off my body and aiming my legs toward someone I like or away from someone I dislike.”

Variant: Sometimes people are not physically able or comfortable crossing their legs in more than one direction or crossing them at all. If a person habitually crosses their legs in one direction, their tendons and muscles will stretch and conform to suite that direction best. This then inhibits them from crossing in another direction because they feel less comfortable doing so. Therefore, we should be careful to watch for adjoining cues, the context, and a person’s baseline before drawing definitive causal conclusions with respect to leg cross direction.

See European Leg Cross and Figure Four Seating Position (The) or The Ankle-Knee Cross and Leg Twine.

Cue In Action: a) While the two girls chatted, each had their legs crossed toward each other as if cutting out all others from the conversation. b) Dave and his new girlfriend sat chatting on the sofa when a younger more attractive girl sat down next to Dave. Subconsciously Dave began to lean toward her, shifted his body over and even crossed his legs in her direction rather than toward his girlfriend.

Meaning and/or Motivation: The legs crossed toward something or someone indicates attraction in that direction. In other words, the legs are propelled in the direction in which we think. Couples that have a strong relationship will usually cross their legs toward each other. Enemies will usually cross away, context permitting of course. Lovers sitting on a couch together with their legs crossed toward each other, bodies leaning inward, with their arms meeting over the back of the couch are said to be in a “loving circle.”

Be cautious about reading the meaning of leg cross with respect to direction as there is no solid evidence that people habitually cross their legs toward or away from people they like and don’t like respectively.

Having the legs crossed is often a signal of a closed attitude as the leg crosses over the mid-point of the body. Compare legs crossed to having the legs opened or legs cross in the figure four posture. Legs open is more open and more dominant. However, women who wear skirts should cross their legs so as not to appear overtly sexual.

Leg crossing is often motivated by the desire to increase comfort and therefore simply a natural posture in a person’s repertoire. However, if a postural change occurs suddenly and due to a particular stimulus, we should pay particular attention. The legs may have been drawn in the direction of the attractive stimulus – be it a person or event.

Similar to the leg twine, a thigh-thigh cross is a tight version of leg crossing where the thigh is brought up really high and the legs pressed tightly together. This can signal a closed attitude and restrained emotion. It might also signify a desire to pacify by pressing the genitals tightly together. It is more commonly found in women, but particularly salient when done by men. If a bounce is present, it might indicate a desire for pacifying through sexual self-stimulation.

Cue Cluster: When the legs are crossed toward another person expect to see bodies leaning in, shoulders and head turned toward and good eye contact. The opposite is found when the legs are crossed away. If they are not, then we can assume that the leg cross is more due to comfort or that a person is splitting attention between two equally attractive stimulus.

Body Language Category: Adaptors, Amplifier, Barriers, Body cross, Body pointing, Blocking or Shielding, Closed body language, Defensive body language, Idiosyncratic body language, Indicator of interest (IoI), Intention movements, Undivided attention (nonverbal).

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Amplifier, Attentive body language, Body pointing, Confident body language, Disengagement body language, Dislike (nonverbal), Distancing or moving away, Dominant body language, Escape movements, Expansive movements, Indicator of interest (IoI), Indicator Of Sexual Interest (IOsI), Indicators of disinterest (IOD), Intention movements, Liking, Low confidence body language, Power play

Body Language of Leaning In and Leaning Out

by Chris • October 23, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Leaning In and Leaning Out

Cue: Leaning In and Leaning Out.

Synonym(s): Pecking Forward, Leaning Out.

Description: Leaning forward or away from another person (or thing).

In One Sentence: Leaning in and leaning out signal interest and disinterest respectively.

How To Use it: Use leaning in and leaning out to show your level of interest. Leaning in shows people that you are interested in them, their ideas and/or what they have to say. Leaning out sends the reverse message.

Leaning language is applicable in business, dating and amongst friends.

For example, leaning in toward your dating partner shows him or her that you wish to gain intimacy. In a business meeting or presentation sit at the edge of your seat and lean in toward the presenter to show them you are keen on the information. With friends at lunch, sit facing them and engage them with conversation by moving forward. These postures all work in reverse to show disinterest. Additionally, leaning in and out can be done while standing and send a similar message. Leaning in also shows a readiness for action. This is also a positive message – especially in business and dating.

Context: a) Dating, b) General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m interested in what you are saying and am supplicating to your dominance and ability to draw me in closer to you, rather than you, to me. That’s why I’m leaning forward.”

Variant: See Head Away.

Cue In Action: a) Dave was really into Stacey. Throughout lunch, he tried to engage her as much as possible but found the more he leaned in, the more she leaned out and away. It was clear that he was more into her, than vice versa. b) While presenting to the crowd, she found half of the students leaning in and engaged, while the other half leaned out and away. She knew which students where most keen on the topic from the way their bodies leaned.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Leaning in too much, also referred to as “pecking” forward has been advanced by the pick-up community as a term describing men who appear needy and who lack control of the dating situation rather than dominant and chase-worthy.

Pecking forward can appear in any setting and shows which of the two are most interested in the other or whom is most dominant and in control. Or, sometimes more aptly, leaning away tells us which person is more apathetic to the relationship and apathy often creates control and ability to dominate. Dominant people will tend to lean back and take up space, but someone who lacks confidence or whom has a great interest in another person will try to engage them more by leaning in toward them. This tends to have the reverse result to what is intended.

Leaning back will force others to engage you, instead of the other way around (cat and mouse game.) Talking quietly also has the affect of forcing people to move closer to you, thereby increasing your status.

Cue Cluster: Couple leaning in and leaning out with other nonverbal cues to determine level of engagement. Leaning in should find itself with eye contact, nodding, smiling, smooth flowing conversation and head tilted to the side – this shows engagement. Leaning back, and disengagement should find itself with lack of eye contact, lack of nodding, deadpan face, stuttered conversation and head-on rather than head tilted.

Body Language Category:

Leaning In: Amplifier, Attentive, Body pointing, Indicator of interest (IoI),
Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Intention movements, Low confidence body language, Liking.

Leaning Away: Amplifier, Body pointing, Confident body language, Disengagement, Dislike (nonverbal), Distancing or moving away, Dominant body language Escape movements, Expansive movements, Indicators of disinterest (IOD), Indicators of sexual disinterest (IOsD), Intention movements, Power play.

Resources:

Astrom, Jan. Introductory greeting behavior: a laboratory investigation of approaching and closing salutation phases. Perceptual and Motor Skills. 1994. 79(2): 863(35).

Argyle, M., & Dean, I. Eye contact, distance and affiliation. Sociometry, 1965, 28, 289-304.

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Appease, Enthusiasm (nonverbal), Excited body language, Fearful body language, Happiness body language, Indicator of interest (IoI), Masked emotions, Nervous Body Language, Nonthreatening body language, Open body language, Rapport or rapport building, Stressful body language, Surprised body language, Universal gestures

Body Language of Laughter

by Chris • October 23, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Laughter

Cue: Laughter

Synonym(s): Laughing.

Description: Laughs follow a “ha-ha-ha” or “ho-ho-ho” pattern, but never “ha-ho-ha-ho”. We can see other variations though like “cha-ha-ha” or “ha-ha-ho.”

In One Sentence: Laughing is a sign of joy, happiness, and sometimes discomfort or awkwardness.

How To Use it: Laughing is well research. It has proven to be an effective way to keep the body in good spirits and even boost healing and immunity. Laughing is encouraged to build friendships and finds a welcome place in all contexts from dating, to business, and amongst friends. Use laughing to create lasting bonds and break tension.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m so happy and surprised by what you said that I’m showing my primitive panting vocalization.”

Resources:

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Owren, Michael J.; Bachorowski, Jo-Anne 2003. Reconsidering the evolution of nonlinguistic communication: the case of laughter Journal of Nonverbal Behavior. 27(3): 183-200.

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Provine, R. R. 1992. Contagious laughter: Laughter is a sufficient stimulus for laughs and smiles. Bulletin of the Psychonomic Society 30: 1- 4.

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Priest, RF; Thein, MT. 2003. Humor appreciation in marriage: Spousal similarity, assortative mating, and disaffection. Humor-international journal of humor research, 16(1): 63-78.

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Szameitat, Diana P. ; Kreifelts, Benjamin ; Alter, Kai ; Szameitat, André J. ; Sterr, Annette ; Grodd, Wolfgang ; Wildgruber, Dirk. It is not always tickling: Distinct cerebral responses during perception of different laughter types. NeuroImage. 2010. 53(4): 1264-1271.

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and Submissive Behavior. Psychological Assessment. 2011. 23(1): 262-276 DOI: 10.1037/a0021499
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Variant: Giggling is another form of laughter that is more characteristic of children being silly.

Cue In Action: After a few beers it was all jokes and laughter at the party, most of the time no one really knew what caused the laughing spells.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Some researchers pin laughs as a modification of the fear response or as a warning that danger was near. By that same theory, we laugh because our brains are scared or frightened which is why we don’t laugh when we hear a joke for the second time and have predicted its outcome. Laughter usually comes about due to humour and helps clarify emotional context (by defining amusement) between people. Laughter is a way to heal as it releases positive hormones. It is also a way people can share and therefore bond with one another. Laughter in a nonverbal context shows that people are thinking alike and are in agreement and trying to build trust and friendship.

Subordinate people will laugh simply to appease more dominant people, and dominant people exclude themselves from the laugh so as to maintain their dominance. Controlling laugher therefore, can help control our dominance or submission to others, as well as show our acceptance or rejection of others. For example, a polite laugh shows that we are at least “onboard” with a person even though we might not totally agree that what they have said is in fact funny.

Laughter is a form of mirroring and communicates mutual liking and well-being. It can also be used to reduce the harshness of comments or even to take comments back. Humour is an innate vocalization that fosters a sense of community and can help in learning and in creativity. It helps break down walls between different people and can act like a social lubricant to bind people together. Laughter is thirty times more likely to happen in a social setting rather than alone and studies have shown that people don’t really seem to care if the laugh is fake or real, they still tend to like people more when they laugh. Laughing helps us build bonds. Even fake laughs help because at least it shows that a person is trying to fit in.

Cue Cluster: Laughter might be accompanied by social touching, smiling, loose body that lacks negative tension, plenty of “up” non-verbal cues such as arms up, shoulders and head up, toes pointed up, bodies leaning in with engagement and so forth.

Body Language Category: Appease, Enthusiasm (nonverbal), Excited, Fearful body language, Happiness body language, Indicator of interest (IoI), Masked emotions, Nervous body language, Open body language, Nonthreatening body language, Rapport or rapport building, Stressful body language, Surprised body language, Universal gestures.

Amplifier, Attentive body language, Body size reduction, Courtship display, Indicator of interest (IoI), Indicator Of Sexual Interest (IOsI), Liking, Open body language, Undivided attention (nonverbal)

Body Language of Head Tilted or Head Cocked To The Side

by Chris • October 23, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Head Tilted or Head Cocked To The Side

Cue: Head Tilted or Head Cocked To The Side

Synonym(s): Canting The Head, Cocking The Head, Head Tilted At Forty Five Degrees, Head Cocked, Head Canting.

Description: The head tilt happens by tilting the head at forty-five degrees. It is much more commonly held by woman and children, than by men.

In One Sentence: Having the head titled to the side indicates sincere interest and curiosity.

How To Use it: Tilt the head to the side whenever you want to show someone that what they are saying fascinates you. Use this when you want the speaker to see your admiration in a nonverbal way. Men and woman can both use this to encourage each other to share more information.

Women can use the head tilt in a dating context to show men that they are submissive as the head tilt reveals the vulnerable neck. Thus, the posture, is particularly alluring.

Context: a) General b) Dating.

Verbal Translation: a) “I like what I’m hearing so I’m canting my head to the side in sincere interest and amusement.” b) “I’m trying to gain your sympathy and protectiveness so I’m appearing childlike and vulnerable so you will want to be my protector.”

Variant: Men will normally cant their heads by raising the chin slightly whereas women prefer to lower their chins coupled with the head tilted upward. It is thought that women wish to send a more childlike image with their head cant, in order to elicit a protective response in men. When men tilt their heads it usually signifies interest and recognition of others and their ideas. See Forehead Bow (The), Head On.

Cue In Action: a) The audience was totally engaged after he opened with some interesting and surprising facts about how he overcame bullying. b) She wanted to score a date with a particularly handsome and wealthy man so she really fired on the charm. She tossed her head to the side revealing her neck, cocked her head, look up at him and smiled coyly.

Meaning and/or Motivation: a) People and animals both incline their heads slightly when they are interested, attentive, or curious. You might have seen a dog twist his head to the side when puzzled by something a person has done. The head cant is a universal signal of interest and attentive listening. When women cant their heads, it depicts appeasement and submission and when men cant their heads they demonstrate recognition. Women also display their necks during their head tilt in order to appear more vulnerable and less threatening.

b) This is a submissive gesture and normally performed by women. The head tilt happens by tilting the head at forty-five degrees and delivering eye contact in a come hither type, coy, teasing, type look with plenty of neck exposure. It makes women appear more childlike and helpless, and evokes protective feelings in men. Its primary motive is to expose vulnerable parts of the body, the neck, to show submission and trust in a man’s dominance.

Cue Cluster: The head cant is normally coupled with eye contact toward the person showing interest coupled with relaxed facial expression and smiling gently.

Body Language Category: Amplifier, Attentive body language, Body size reduction, Courtship display, Indicator of interest (IoI), Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Liking, Open body language, Undivided attention (nonverbal).

Resources:

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*No Photo, Attentive body language, Indicator of interest (IoI), Microgestures, Undivided attention (nonverbal)

Body Language of Head Nods

by Chris • October 23, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Head Nods

Cue: Head Nod

Synonym(s): Fast Head Nod, Slow Head Nod, Quick Nod, Nodding.

Description: A gesture done by moving the head rhythmically up and down along the sagittal plane. In micro-nodding the head dips slightly and is almost unperceivable.

In One Sentence: Head nodding is a positive universal signal.

How To Use it: Use nodding to show agreement and understanding. Nodding is a powerful way to encourage others to continue speaking. If someone stops talking and you want them to continue, just offer them a nod and it’s likely that they will resume.

A quick nod at the end of a sentence can be used to punctuate a point and reinforce it. Likewise, it can be done to challenge your partner whom may wish to, in turn, issue a rebuttal.

By speeding up your nodding, you are nonverbally expressing your desire for the other person to finish up so that you may begin speaking.

Use a slow nod to encourage a speaker to continue and a faster nod to show that what is being said is understood.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m in agreement, acceptance, or understanding of what you are saying. My head is moving up and down to show you.”

Variant: See Micro Nodding. The head might sway from side-to-side in a “no” motion showing disagreement. Micro nodding often occurs at the end of a person’s speech and can be attributed to a direct attack as if to say, I’ve made my point and I’m sticking to it, feel free to challenge me, but I’m going to stay firm. The micro nod is quick and usually singular, a quick dip of the chin followed by a slow recovery back to a neutral position.

Cue In Action: a) His boss nodded his head up and down slowly as he delivered his proposal. He indicated that he understood the idea. When it came time for him to provide feedback, he said it needed more work. That stuck him as odd given his head nods. What he didn’t understand was that his head nods showed that he understood what he was saying rather than general agreement.

b) Bill and Linda where talking about the bosses decision to cut the coffee budget. You could tell they agreed because as Linda expressed her position, Bill nodded his head.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Nodding has a widespread meaning used to convey acceptance or agreement but in other cultures it means disagreement.

Slow nodding often encourages a speaker to continue while faster nodding shows that what is being said is understood. A quick nod shows more complete understanding and agreement or a desire to interject and take over the speaking role.

To discern between agreement and desire to speak, watch for eye direction. Nodding with eyes that are cast toward the speaker is used as support, while nods with eyes cast away are done in order to take over the conversation. Other times, nodding occurs due to distraction. This is nodding coupled with a glazed look in the eyes. A firm and decisive head nod shows agreement, whereas a slight nod simply shows understanding.

Research has shown that head nodding breads positive thoughts and is hardwired into the brain. Scientific experiments have shown that as the conscious mind invariably gets tired or distracted, the head nodding stops or changes direction. Head nodding therefore is a gesture that has a powerful influence to those around us and can be used to create positive feelings. Head nodding creates connectivity in people and shows that what is being said, is being understood. Even if agreement is not present, it shows that a person is at least being heard which can be used to sway agreement in the future on a more important issue.

Too much nodding, on the other hand, shows indifference which can be a useful tactic depending on the speaker and their intent. Three nods in quick succession shows that you are ready to speak yourself and has the net effect of increasing their rate of speech to avoid being cut off.

In Japan, the up and down nod of the head or “yes motion” is utilized not to show ‘agreement’ but to show ‘understanding’. Therefore, while pitching a new idea or venture, it would be foolish to think that the continuous head nodding by the Japanese was due to their willingness to invest.

Cue Cluster: Watch for eye contact, torso orientation, leaning in or out to provide cues as to the overall meaning of the head nod as it can be varied. Nodding is accompanied by either eye contact to show interest, or lack thereof to show disinterest and disengagement. The body will also orient toward a speaker of interest, or away. Sometimes nodding is used to speed up speech or in agreement so it is important to watch for accompanying cues to define the meaning.

Body Language Category: Attentive, Indicator of interest (IoI), Microgestures, Undivided attention (nonverbal).

Resources:

Austin, Keith ; Theakston, Anna ; Lieven, Elena ; Tomasello, Michael Eccles, Jacquelynne S. (editor). Young Children’s Understanding of Denial. Developmental Psychology. 2014. 50(8): 2061-2070.

Akiyama, M. M. (1985). Denials in young children from a cross-linguistic perspective. Child Development, 56, 95–102. doi:10.2307/1130177

Cameron-Faulkner, T., Lieven, E., & Theakston, A. (2007). What part of no do children not understand? A usage-based account of multiword negation. Journal of Child Language, 34, 251–282. doi:10.1016/j.cognition.2010.08.017.

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Fusaro, M., & Harris, P. L. (2013). Dax gets the nod: Toddlers detect and use social cues to evaluate testimony. Developmental Psychology, 49, 514–522. doi:10.1037/a0030580

Fusaro, M., Harris, P. L., & Pan, B. A. (2012). Head nodding and head shaking gestures in children’s early communication. First Language, 32, 439–458. doi:10.1177/0142723711419326

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http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/how-learning-primes-body-language-on-head-nodding-nonverbals/

Courtship display, Eye Language, Indicator of interest (IoI), Liking, Nonthreatening body language, Tie signals

Body Language of Gazing Adoringly

by Chris • October 22, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Gazing Adoringly

Cue: Gazing Adoringly

Synonym(s): N/A

Description: The eyes and eyelids relax and move freely from each eye to the mouth and lips, with brief glances to the rest of the face including hair and ears.

In One Sentence: Gazing adoringly indicates a deep emotional connection.

How To Use it: Mothers and fathers naturally use the gaze pattern when looking into the eyes of newborn babies as it helps them from deep bonds. Dating partners should, and do, also use this eye pattern to build trust and connectivity.

Context: a) General b) Dating.

Verbal Translation: “I’m so infatuated with you that I want to peer right into your soul, through your eyes. I show you this with no tension in my face as my eyes wander about studying everything on your face. I’m connecting with you emotionally.”

Variant: See Intimate Gaze (The) or Triangular Gaze Pattern, Friendly Social Gaze, and Business Gaze.

Cue In Action: a) While breast feeding, the new Mom literally spent hours bonding with baby through mutual gaze. b) The couple gazed adoringly at one another while hanging out at the beach.

Meaning and/or Motivation: An eye pattern stemming from infatuation and deep love and affection that lacks any negative emotion whatsoever. Gazing adoringly happens during courtship between couples and between mothers and their newborn infants as they bond to each other.

Cue Cluster: Gazing adoringly is often coupled with a very relaxed and tranquil face that lacks all tension. The head is usually tilted forward and leaning in, the eyes will be softly focus and will travel from eye-to-eye as if trying to measure emotion.

Body Language Category: Courtship displays, Eye Language, Indicator of interest (IoI), Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Liking, Nonthreatening body language, Tie signals.

Resources:

Argyle, Michael; Lefebvre, Luc; Cook, Mark 1974. The meaning of five patterns of gaze. European Journal of Social Psychology. 4(2): 125-136.

Argyle, M., and Ingham, R. 1972. Gaze, mutual gaze, and proximity. Semiotica, 1, 32–49.

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Colonnesi, Cristina ; Zijlstra, Bonne J. H. ; Van Der Zande, Annesophie ; Bogels, Susan M. Coordination of gaze, facial expressions and vocalizations of early infant communication with mother and father. Infant Behavior and Development. 2012. 35(3): 523(10).

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Foddy, Margaret 1978. Patterns of Gaze in Cooperative and Competitive Negotiation
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Fogel, Alan ; Dedo, Jae Young ; McEwen, Irene. Effect of postural position and reaching on gaze during mother-infant face-to-face interaction. Infant Behavior and Development. 1992. 15(2): 231-244.

Heimann, Mikael. Neonatal imitation, gaze aversion, and mother-infant interaction.
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Kim, Sohye ; Fonagy, Peter ; Koos, Orsolya ; Dorsett, Kimberly ; Strathearn, Lane. Maternal oxytocin response predicts mother-to-infant gaze. Brain Research. 2014. 1580: 133-142.

Kellerman. 1989. Looking and loving: The effects of mutual gaze on feelings of romantic love. Journal of Research in Personality. 23(2): 145-161.

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Langer, Julia and Rodebaugh, Thomas. Social Anxiety and Gaze Avoidance: Averting Gaze but not Anxiety. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 2013, Vol.37(6): 1110-1120.

Leeb. 2004. Here’s Looking at You, Kid! A Longitudinal Study of Perceived Gender Differences in Mutual Gaze Behavior in Young Infants Source: Sex Roles. 50(1-2): 1-14.

McAndrew. 1986. Arousal seeking and the maintenance of mutual gaze in same and mixed sex dyads Source: Journal of nonverbal behavior. 10(3):168-172.

Mulac, A., Studley, L., Wiemann, J., & Bradac, J. 1987. Male/female gaze in same-sex
and mixed-sex dyads. Human Communication Research. 13: 323-343.

Moszkowski, Robin J. ; Stack, Dale M. ; Chiarella, Sabrina S. Infant touch with gaze and affective behaviors during mother–infant still-face interactions: Co-occurrence and functions of touch. Infant Behavior and Development. 2009. 32(4): 392-403.

Marquette, L. ; Helbraun, E. ; Beebe, B. ; Jaffe, J. Microanalysis of mother-infant gaze and infant self-comfort behavior in dyads reporting high, mid-range, and low maternal depressive symptoms. Infant Behavior and Development. 1998. 21: 554-554.

Natale, Michael. 1976. A Markovian model of adult gaze behavior. Journal of Psycholinguistic Research. 5(1): 53-63.

Phelps, F., Doherty-Sneddon, G., & Warnock Educational Psychology., 27, 91-107. (2006). Functional benefits of children’s gaze aversion during questioning. British Journal Developmental Psychology. 24: 577-588.

Rosenfeld, H., Breck, B., Smith, S., & Kehoe, S. 1984. Intimacy-mediators of the proximity-gaze compensation effect: Movement, conversational role, acquaintance, and gender. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior. 8: 235-249.

Williams. 1993. Effects of Mutual Gaze and Touch on Attraction, Mood, and Cardiovascular Reactivity Source: Journal of Research in Personality. 27(2): 170-183.

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