Category: Dominant body language

Body Language of Leaning In and Leaning Out

Body Language of Leaning In and Leaning Out

BodyLanguageProjectCom - Leaning In and Leaning Out 1 BodyLanguageProjectCom - Leaning In and Leaning Out 3 BodyLanguageProjectCom - Leaning In and Leaning Out 5 BodyLanguageProjectCom - Leaning In and Leaning Out 6Cue: Leaning In and Leaning Out.

Synonym(s): Pecking Forward, Leaning Out.

Description: Leaning forward or away from another person (or thing).

In One Sentence: Leaning in and leaning out signal interest and disinterest respectively.

How To Use it: Use leaning in and leaning out to show your level of interest. Leaning in shows people that you are interested in them, their ideas and/or what they have to say. Leaning out sends the reverse message.

Leaning language is applicable in business, dating and amongst friends.

For example, leaning in toward your dating partner shows him or her that you wish to gain intimacy. In a business meeting or presentation sit at the edge of your seat and lean in toward the presenter to show them you are keen on the information. With friends at lunch, sit facing them and engage them with conversation by moving forward. These postures all work in reverse to show disinterest. Additionally, leaning in and out can be done while standing and send a similar message. Leaning in also shows a readiness for action. This is also a positive message – especially in business and dating.

Context: a) Dating, b) General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m interested in what you are saying and am supplicating to your dominance and ability to draw me in closer to you, rather than you, to me. That’s why I’m leaning forward.”

Variant: See Head Away.

Cue In Action: a) Dave was really into Stacey. Throughout lunch, he tried to engage her as much as possible but found the more he leaned in, the more she leaned out and away. It was clear that he was more into her, than vice versa. b) While presenting to the crowd, she found half of the students leaning in and engaged, while the other half leaned out and away. She knew which students where most keen on the topic from the way their bodies leaned.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Leaning in too much, also referred to as “pecking” forward has been advanced by the pick-up community as a term describing men who appear needy and who lack control of the dating situation rather than dominant and chase-worthy.

Pecking forward can appear in any setting and shows which of the two are most interested in the other or whom is most dominant and in control. Or, sometimes more aptly, leaning away tells us which person is more apathetic to the relationship and apathy often creates control and ability to dominate. Dominant people will tend to lean back and take up space, but someone who lacks confidence or whom has a great interest in another person will try to engage them more by leaning in toward them. This tends to have the reverse result to what is intended.

Leaning back will force others to engage you, instead of the other way around (cat and mouse game.) Talking quietly also has the affect of forcing people to move closer to you, thereby increasing your status.

Cue Cluster: Couple leaning in and leaning out with other nonverbal cues to determine level of engagement. Leaning in should find itself with eye contact, nodding, smiling, smooth flowing conversation and head tilted to the side – this shows engagement. Leaning back, and disengagement should find itself with lack of eye contact, lack of nodding, deadpan face, stuttered conversation and head-on rather than head tilted.

Body Language Category:

Leaning In: Amplifier, Attentive, Body pointing, Indicator of interest (IoI),
Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Intention movements, Low confidence body language, Liking.

Leaning Away: Amplifier, Body pointing, Confident body language, Disengagement, Dislike (nonverbal), Distancing or moving away, Dominant body language Escape movements, Expansive movements, Indicators of disinterest (IOD), Indicators of sexual disinterest (IOsD), Intention movements, Power play.

Resources:

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Body Language of Hooding or The Catapult

Body Language of Hooding or The Catapult

BodyLanguageProjectCom - Hooding 4Cue: Hooding or The Catapult.

Synonym(s): Full Body Steeple, Catapult (The), Interlaced Hands Behind The Head.

Description: Hooding is a body posture that occurs by placing both hands up and clasped behind the head, elbows back, and chest puffed out while in a seated position. Think of making a hood with your arms and hands.

In One Sentence: Hooding is a posture signaling high dominance.

How To Use it: Use hooding to expand the body and make it appear larger than it is in reality. This will be viewed by others as dominance and confidence therefore it should be reserved for higher ranking individuals who will not be challenged by others.

Bosses, should feel free to assert their dominance with the hooding posture, whereas lower ranking employees should not.

Women should generally not carry the posture due to its high perceived dominance. When done by women it can appear overbearing. If women do choose to do it, they should be expecting to be viewed as capable of backing their dominance with not only verbal counterarguments, but also supportive action. When dominance lacks substance it is viewed in a negative light rather than a positive one.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m so dominant and confident that I’m placing my hands on my head where they can’t be used for defense, splaying wide open and taking up a bunch of space and leaning back to be comfortable.”

Variant: See Military Man or Regal Stance and Cowboy Pose Stance for two similarly dominant postures.

Cue In Action: The boss was cocky and confident. When meeting with employees he always placed his hands up behind his head and leaned back in his chair. When the owner of the company showed up and surprised him, he quickly shot forward, took his hands off the back of his head and made a point of shaking hands with him. He didn’t get back to his hooding posture until the owner was safely out of the office.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Hooding or interlaced hands behind the head is an extremely dominant and possibly arrogant, self-satisfied, even threatening display.

The arms behind the head posture shows arrogance because it openly exposes the body to attack through its expansiveness. Dominant people don’t worry about being attacked and often show this confidence by overexposing themselves and their vulnerable areas to challengers.

The full body steeple is common to professionals such as lawyers, accountants, managers, bosses, and others that feel more superior then their counterparts.

Hooding can be used to intimidate others, or convey a relaxed, cocky disposition, but as always, body language needs to be taken in context. The accompanying dialogue will help tell us what is really going on.

Professionals, such as lawyers, accountants, managers, bosses, and others that tend to take their superiority to higher levels than the rest of us, will be seen using the full body steeple. This is the hooding posture coupled with a figure four leg cross and leaning back in the chair.

Cue Cluster: When seated hooding is coupled with body leaning backward with the legs spread wide open we have a very dominant crotch display. The postures is completed by combining it with the figure-four-leg cross which happens by placing the ankle of the opposite foot across the knee.

Body Language Category: Arrogance or arrogant body language, Aggressive body language, Authoritative body language, Confident body language, Dominant body language, Expansive movements, Gravity defying body language, High confidence body language, Open body language.

Resources:

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Body Language of The Head Tilted Back

Body Language of The Head Tilted Back

BodyLanguageProjectCom - Head Tilted Back 2Cue: Head Tilted Back

Synonym(s): Looking Down The Nose, Nose up gesture, Tilting The Head Back.

Description: A posture done by tilting the head back and looking down and across the bridge of the nose upon other people as if glaring. Sometimes the head is cocked to the side or the eyes peer over glasses.

In One Sentence: Tiling the head back indicates smugness and pride.

How To Use it: Tilt the head back to demonstrate pride after winning a dominance competition. The stance is appropriate after victory in sports as it is in any other situation where one must overcome great obstacles. Holding the head high will show others that you are winning in the battle of life and that you are worthy of special attention and to be followed. Holding the head high in business will show others that you have leadership qualities.

When one tilts the head back when pride is not earned, it can backfire and be read as smugness, so be prepared for challenges to your stance should you choose to apply them.

When you want to belittle another, simply title the head back and stare down your nose at them. This shows condescension. Think of the stern librarian as she lowers her eye glasses and glares down upon you.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m superior to you in many ways so I tilt my head back and appear haughty and special, demonstrating that you are not worthy of my gaze.”

Variant: See Peering Over Glasses, Chin Jut and Chin Lift.

Cue In Action: Upon entering a coffee shop, she turned the heads of men. When she noticed that she was being watched, she averted her gaze and instead of making eye contact she would “look down her nose at them” by tilting her head backward showing disapproval. It is read by onlookers correctly as an “I’m better than you” glare. They don’t even bother to approach her.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Looking down one’s nose at someone is a dominant, judgment posture and is viewed negatively by others. The opposite cue is the forehead bow, where the head is tilted back and they eyes cast upward. This shows submission.

Looking down the nose at someone can be done without glasses, but their addition makes the posture even more salient. The head back is a domineering teacher or librarian look when a student has done something she does not approve of, so she stares him down. The posture elicits a prey response in others because it puts them in an aggressive relationship with the predator peering down on them.

Tilting the head back is a way to adjust the height levels between people because by doing so it raises the level of the eyes by a few inches. Looking down the nose is indicative of someone that is condescending or pushy, authoritarian, arrogant, but is also a gravity defying body language so shows confidence often bordering on overconfidence.

The phrase “keep your chin up” stems from the power that chin’s held high carries. Holding a high head helps people frame their own views in a more constructive light.

Cue Cluster: Crossing the legs by bringing one foot over the opposite leg (the Figure-Four Leg Cross), hand steepling, or interlocked fingers, leaning back in the chair, and tilting the head back and looking down through the nose at others. This cluster shows arrogance and superiority.

Body Language Category: Amplifier, Arrogance or arrogant body language, Aggressive body language, Authoritative body language, Confident body language, Dislike (nonverbal), Doubt or disbelief body language, Dominant body language, Expansive movements, Eye Language, Gravity defying body language, Hostile body language, Evaluative body language.

Resources:

Aguinis, Herman ; Simonsen, Melissam. ; Pierce, Charlesa. Effects of Nonverbal Behavior on Perceptions of Power Bases. The Journal of Social Psychology. 1998. 138(4): 455-469.

Aguinis, Herman ; Henle, Christinea. Effects of Nonverbal Behavior on Perceptions of a Female Employee’s Power Bases. The Journal of Social Psychology. 2001 141(4): 537-549.

Aviezer, Hillel, Yaacov Trope, Alexander Todorov. Body Cues, Not Facial Expressions, Discriminate Between Intense Positive and Negative Emotions Science 338, 1225 (2012).
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Beall, Alec and Jessica L. Tracy. The Puzzling Attractiveness of Male Shame.
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Hwang, Hyisung C. and David Matsumoto. Cultural Differences in Victory Signals of
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Hehman, Eric; Jordan B. Leitner and Samuel L. Gaertner. Enhancing Static Facial Features Increases Intimidation. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. 2013; 49: 747-754.
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Krumhuber, Eva ; Manstead, Antony ; Kappas, Arvid. Temporal Aspects of Facial Displays in Person and Expression Perception: The Effects of Smile Dynamics, Head-tilt, and Gender. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior. 2007. (1): 39-56

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Martina Mara and Markus Appel. Effects of Lateral Head Tilt on User Perceptions of Humanoid and Android Robots. Computers in Human Behavior. 2015. 44: 326-334
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Body Language of Head Of The Table

Body Language of Head Of The Table

No picCue: Head Of The Table.

Synonym(s): Leadership Positions, Sitting At The Head Of The Table.

Description: Sitting at the head of the table.

In One Sentence: Sitting at the head of the table is a sign of dominance.

How To Use it: Research has shown that taking on the head of the table not only is reserved for the most dominant, but also when people are assigned to sit there, attributed to them. Therefore, sitting at the head of the table is important for bosses especially, and also for men who wish to form a patriarchy in their house and be seen as the one in charge.

When one does not wish to be seen as a leader, make decisions, or be responsible for the outcome, one should avoid the head of the table.

Context: a) General b) Business.

Verbal Translation: “I’m in charge so I sit at the head of the table which permits me to address each person without having to turn my head.”

Variant: See Stardust Chairs or Stardust Seating Positions.

Cue In Action: a) At dinner, Dad always sat at the head of the table. When he was away on business, the eldest son usually took over his seat. b) As a joke, the new hire sat in the bosses seat at the head of the table. It didn’t go over well.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Researchers attribute visibility and the ability to easily make eye contact with everyone as important features turning the head of the table into a leadership position. When there is no noticeable leader attributed to anyone, the leadership is normally assigned to the person who is sitting at the head of the table.

Interestingly, the leader will also usually find himself in a position which permits him to face the doorway, presumably so he can protect himself from surprise attack.

Cue Cluster: People who claim or sit at the head of the table also carry themselves more confidently with their heads held high, chest out, upright posture, strong handshakes, maintain eye contact, use gesticulation and touch appropriately and so forth.

Body Language Category: Amplifier, Authoritative body language, Dominant body language, Leadership body language.

Resources:

Argyle, M., & Dean, I. Eye contact, distance and affiliation. Sociometry, 1965, 28, 289-304.

Boucher, Michael L. Holzberg, Jules D. (editor). Effect of seating distance on interpersonal attraction in an interview situation. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. 1972 38(1): 15-19.

Cook, M. Experiments on orientation and proxemics. Human Relations, 1970, 23, 61-67.

Clack, B., Dixon, J., & Tredoux, C. (2005). Eating together apart: Patterns of segregation in a multi-ethnic cafeteria. Journal of Community & Applied Social Psychology, 15, 1-16. doi:10.1002/casp.787

Castelli, Luigi ; Carraro, Luciana ; Pavan, Giulia ; Murelli, Elisa ; Carraro, Alessia. The Power of the Unsaid: The Influence of Nonverbal Cues on Implicit Attitudes. Journal of Applied Social Psychology. 2012 42(6): 1376-1393.

Coutts, Larrym. ; Ledden, Maribeth. Nonverbal Compensatory Reactions to Changes in Interpersonal Proximity. The Journal of Social Psychology. 1977 102(2): 283-290.

Felipe, N. Interpersonal distance and small group interaction. Cornell Journal of Social Relations, 1966, 1, 59-64.

Felipe, N. Connotations of seating arrangements. Cornell Journal of Social Relations, 1967, 2, 37-44.

Gifford, Robert ; O’Connor, Brian. Nonverbal intimacy: Clarifying the role of seating distance and orientation. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior. 1986 10(4): 207-214.

Gardin, Hershel ; Kaplan, Kalman J. ; Firestone, Ira J. ; Cowan, Gloria A. Lanzetta, John T. (editor). Proxemic effects on cooperation, attitude, and approach-avoidance in a Prisoner’s Dilemma game. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 1973. 27(1): 13-18.

Greenberg, J. 1976. The role of seating position in group interaction: a review, with applications for group trainers. Group & Organization Management 1 (3): 310-327.

Howells, L. T. and S. W. Becker. 1962. Seating arrangement and leadership emergence.
The Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology 64(2): 148-150.

Haase, Richard F. ; Dimattia, Dominic J. Berdie, Ralph F. (editor). Proxemic behavior: Counselor, administrator, and client preference for seating arrangement in dyadic interaction. Journal of Counseling Psychology. 1970 17(4): 319-325.

Jackson, Danielle; Erika Engstrom and Tara Emmers-Sommer. 2007. Think Leader, Think Male and Female: Sex vs. Seating Arrangement as Leadership Cues. Sex Roles. 57 (9/10): 713-723.

Jackson, Danielle ; Engstrom, Erika ; Hassenzahl, David M. Effects of sex and seating arrangement on selection of leader. Perceptual and motor skills. 2005. 100(3 Pt 1): 815-8

Kenner, Andrew N. ; Katsimaglis, George. Gender differences in proxemics: taxi-seat choice. Psychological Reports. 1993 72(2): 625(2).

Leventhal, G. 1978, Sex and setting effects on seating arrangement. Journal of Psychology. 100: 21-26.

Lott, D. F. and R. Sommer. 1967. Seating arrangements and status. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 7 (1): 90-95.

Michelini, RL, Passalacqua, R., & Cusimano, J. 1976. Effects of seating arrangement on group participation. Journal of Social Psychology. 99: 179-186.

Mackinnon, Sean P. ; Jordan, Christian H. ; Wilson, Anne E. Birds of a feather sit together: Physical similarity predicts seating choice. Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin. 2011 37(7): 879(14).

Norum, G.A., Russo, N.J., and Sommer, R. 1967. Seating patterns and group tasks. Source: Psychology in the schools. 4(3): 276-280.

Porter, Natalie ; Geis, Florence ; Jennings (Walstedt), Joyce. Are women invisible as leaders? Sex Roles. 1983. 9(10): 1035-1049.

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Xu, Y. ; Franconeri, S. L. The Head of the Table: Marking the “Front” of An Object Is Tightly Linked with Selection. Journal of Neuroscience. 2012. 32(4): 1408-1412.

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Body Language of The Head Drop or Head Beckoning

Body Language of The Head Drop or Head Beckoning

BodyLanguageProjectCom - Head Drop or Head Beckoning 1 BodyLanguageProjectCom - Head Drop or Head Beckoning 2Cue: Head Drop or Head Beckoning.

Synonym(s): Beckoning With The Head.

Description: Occurs by first establishing eye contact, then lowering the head followed by quickly and deliberately snapping it backward as if to say “Hey you, come over here.”

In One Sentence: Head beckoning is a way to call on someone to come closer.

How To Use it: Use this nonverbal expression in order to informally draw someone closer. A quick flick of the head back shows other people that you want to call them toward you without being overt. Often this cue can be delivered inconspicuously such that it goes unnoticed by other people.

Context: a) General b) Dating.

Verbal Translation: “I’m tossing my head backwards because I want you to come over and chat.”

Variant: The head might be snapped to the left or right as if to say “Let’s get out of here.”

Cue In Action: Dave saw a cute girl. After establishing eye contact and smiling, he tossed his head back inviting her over. She smiled, blushed and lowered her eyes. After chatting with her friend, she decided to come over.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Done as a replacement signal to the finger beckoning and is more subtle especially when the desire is to be secretive, mysterious yet authoritative.

For this reason, the head drop has been adopted by male pick-up artists with limited success. Head beckoning is most suitable when it would be inappropriate to yell such as a busy, crowded area.

Cue Cluster: The head drop is coupled with eye contact and smiling.

Body Language Category: Authoritative body language, Courtship displays, Dominant body language, Guiding body language.

Resources:

Andric, Michael ; Solodkin, Ana ; Buccino, Giovanni ; Goldin-Meadow, Susan ; Rizzolatti, Giacomo ; Small, Steven L. Brain function overlaps when people observe emblems, speech, and grasping. Neuropsychologia, 2013, Vol.51(8), pp.1619-1629

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Beattie, G., & Shovelton,H.(1999). Mapping the range of information contained in the iconich and gestures that accompany spontaneous speech. Journal of Language and social Psychology, 18, 438–462.

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Guidetti, M. (2005). Yes or no? How do young children combine gestures and words to agree and refuse. Journal of Child Language, 32, 911–924. doi:10.1017/S0305000905007038

Goldin-Meadow, S. (1999).The role of gesture in communication and thinking. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 3, 419–429.

Goldin-Meadow, S.(2003). Hearing gesture: How our hands help us think. Cam-bridge, MA: Belknap Press of Harvard University Press.

Hubbard, A.L., Wilson,S.M., Callan,D.E., & Dapretto, M.(2009). Giving speech a hand: Gesture modulates activity in auditory cortex during speech perception. Human Brain Mapping, 30, 1028–1037.

He, Yifei ; Gebhardt, Helge ; Steines, Miriam ; Sammer, Gebhard ; Kircher, Tilo ; Nagels, Arne ; Straube, Benjamin. The EEG and fMRI signatures of neural integration: An investigation of meaningful gestures and corresponding speech. Neuropsychologia.. 2015. 72: 27-42.

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The Hidden Body Language of Hand Steepling

The Hidden Body Language of Hand Steepling

BodyLanguageProjectCom - Hand Steepling 1Cue: Hand Steepling.

Synonym(s): Steepling The Hands, Tenting the Fingers, Finger Steepling, Hand Tenting.

Description: A posture where the hands are propped up by the fingers of each hand to form a bridge – like a church steeple. In this posture fingers are not interlocked and the palms do not touch. Instead, the finger tips simply touch at their tips.

In One Sentence: Hand steepling is a sign of confidence and that one knows something that another doesn’t.

How To Use it: Use hand steepling to demonstrate true or feigned confidence. This can work when portraying an image of strength is beneficial such as in business or legal negotiations. Steeple the hands when you want other people to think that you are privy to beneficial information that they are not.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I have access to hidden information, and life experience, and this is the source of my power and control over you. I demonstrate this by pressing my fingertips together in a high confidence hand gesture like the roof of a church.”

Variant: Rocking might accompany the steeple where the hands move back and forth by adding and reducing pressure between them. The steeple can be placed low on a lap, or seen hovering slightly above the lap. Other times the steeple is in full view of others with the elbows propped up on the table. The steepler can hold the posture so high that they have to look through the steeple to see others. See Hand Clasping, Hand Wringing, Hand Clasping.

Cue In Action: Donald Trump performed the steeple frequently on his television show The Apprentice, in preparation, of all things, to fire his next apprentice! His steepling was an obvious cue signaling the power he had over his subordinates.

Meaning and/or Motivation: The steepler is someone that is confident, sometimes overconfident, authoritative, and particularly evaluative of others around him.

Confidence, in this case, is held in the power and control they possess and also in knowing things that other people do not. Steeplers are found carrying the gesture when around subordinates, or whenever they seem to have the upper hand. This gesture is effective if you already possess power or want others to think you do, but it is ineffective in team building, since it comes off as arrogant. It does have subconscious manipulative properties though, such as bluffing in poker but in most cases, this gesture is only as effective as that which can be backed up with real confidence and true access to valuable hidden information.

Superiors will also be seen using this gesture in meetings and when giving orders and the higher the steeple is held, the greater the arrogance it depicts. In extreme forms, the person carrying the gesture can be seen “looking right through their hands” between the triangle formed by the pent up fingers and the thumbs.

A high steepler comes off as a “know-it-all” and arrogant and smug especially when coupled with the head tilted backward. A more subtle version is the hidden steeple of which the sender could be trying to hide or shelter their opinion from view by keeping the steepled fingers below the table. The lower steeple is more often used by women and when someone is listening rather than speaking. A low steeple signifies that someone is interested and ready to respond.

Hidden steepling, such as a steeple on the lap under a table, refers to hidden confidence or a desire to limit arrogance in attempt to appear more open and accepting. When the hands are steepled, but holding support of the head, it does not signal confidence, but rather boredom, self-consciousness, or awkwardness.

Steepling can also ebb and flow along with confidence to what is being said which can be useful in negotiations or in arguments. If something is said to drop confidence the steepling might be broken in favour of interlocked hands as if praying but then quickly return when a person feels that their position has improved. Interlocked fingers is a signal of low confidence and the fingers might even be seen wringing themselves. Lawyers quickly learn to control this nonverbal cue in favour of constant steepling rather than any other gesture.

Cue Cluster: The steeple can occur in body language clusters as well, but what is important is not what happens after the steepling, as in the chin stroke and eye glass language, but rather what happens preceding the steepling. By watching for positive open postures such as palms up and arms un-crossed or closed postures such as arms crossed, touching the nose or face and avoiding eye contact, we can tell if the person is trying to be honest or manipulative with his or her apparent power. In other words, steepling is a finish posture serving to punctuate a body language clue cluster rather than the other way around.

Another example of a cue cluster is as follows: crossing the legs by bringing one foot over the opposite leg (the figure-four leg cross), fingers steepling, leaning back in the chair, and tilting the head back and looking down through the nose at others. This cluster shows arrogance and superiority.

Body Language Category: Arrogance or arrogant body language, Authoritative body language, Confident body language, Dominant body language, High confidence body language, High confidence hand displays, Leadership body language, Power play, Up nonverbals.

Resources:

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Body Language of Guiding Body Language

Body Language of Guiding Body Language

BodyLanguageProjectCom - Head Drop or Head Beckoning 2Cue: Guiding Body Language.

Synonym(s): Hand To The Lower Back Of Another, Lightly Pushing Another’s Back, Pulling Someone While Shaking Hands, Shaking Hands Pull In Or Out, Moving People Around.

Description: Using a hand to lightly push on another person’s lower back to move them in a desirable position. Pulling someone in while shaking hands.

In One Sentence: Guiding is a way to create dominance by controlling the actions of others.

How To Use it: Guiding is a very powerful power-play. Men can increase their sex appeal by placing their hands on the small of a woman’s back and lightly moving her in the direction of his choosing. The same effect works while dancing where the man is expected to, and benefits from, leading the woman.

Men can also guide women by holding their hand and steering or pulling them with a slight lead. This is a powerful way to demonstrate leadership to women which they usually find sexually appealing as it is a display of dominance and leadership.

Guiding can also be done without placing the hand directly in contact with another person’s back, but rather holding it just off contact.

Men can also guide other men less intimately, by placing an arm over the shoulder and putting weight against them, thus moving them in their chosen direction. The man who is confident enough to control other men by one-directional contact will be perceived as the most dominant.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m trying to force you into compliance through light force by gently pushing you in the direction I want you to travel.”

Variant: See Head Drop or Head Beckoning.

Cue In Action: a) The host greeted her guest, grabbed their overcoats and gently moved them from the front foyer to the living area for drink and company. b) The man led his dance partner across the room with light pressure to her lower back. c) He guided his date around the room with light pressure to her lower back to meet his family at the cocktail party.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Using a hand to lightly push on another person’s back, pulling someone in when shaking hands, using a finger to beckon someone closer, or using alluring eye contact are all ways to influence people to move in ways desirable.

Guiding is a throwback technique to childhood. Due to its commonplace use during our childhood by our parents, we easily succumb to such tactics throughout our life. A light touch the lower back is conditioned to encourage us to move with, rather than against, the pressure. Guiding is a way other people can control how we move, when and in which direction.

People who use guiding body language are usually dominant. They seek control, are authoritative and seek leadership positions wherever they go.

Cue Cluster: Watch for strong eye contact, head high, good voice patterns and gesturing, strong use of touch in order to flatter and control, strong leadership, and charisma.

Body Language Category: Authoritative body language, Courtship displays, Confident body language, Dominant body language, Guiding body language, Leadership body language, Social touching.

Resources:

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Body Language of The Firm Handshake

Body Language of The Firm Handshake

No picCue: Firm Handshake

Synonym(s): N/A

Description: A handshake that is neither too hard, nor too soft.

In One Sentence: A firm handshake is a universal signal of confidence.

How To Use it: A firm handshake should be a default condition for both men and women. Use a firm handshake especially when it is important that you are seen as competent such as in a business setting. When doing the firm handshake, make sure you are not overly aggressive, as firm does not mean that one needs to inflict pain. A proper firm handshake rarely goes unnoticed and is rewarded with a positive impression and the benefits that go along with it.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I show my confidence by shaking hands with just the right pressure, not too much to be overbearing and not too little to show weakness.”

Variant: See Country Handshake (The), Cold Dead Wet Fish Handshake, Double Gripper Politician Handshake or Double Hander (The), Short Grabber/Finger Grabber Handshake, Oddball Handshake, Palm Up, Palm Down and Palm Even Handshakes, Stiff Arm And Thrust Forward Handshake, Death Grip Handshake, Wrench Forward Handshake, Undershaker Handshake, Wrist Hold Handshake, Wrist Hold Handshake and Upper Arm Grip Handshake, Limp Fish Handshake, Teacup Handshake, Arm Twister Handshake (The), Firm handshake, Fist Bumping.

Cue In Action: He was pleasantly surprised by the new recruit, she had a firm handshake unlike some of the others. This gave him confidence that she’d do a good job.

Meaning and/or Motivation: This is the best overall handshake as it does not appear overbearing or flaccid and weak. Positive attributes are given people who shake hands with appropriate force. When a handshake is too firm, it signals an overbearing attitude, or masks low confidence except when it is matched by a strong physique which might come from a larger athletic person.

Cue Cluster: The firm handshake is a stand-alone cue which has meaning in and of itself, however, we usually see other positive and dominant cues associated with the firm handshake.

Body Language Category: Authoritative body language, Confident body language, Dominant body language, Enthusiasm (nonverbal).

Resources:

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Body Language of Finger Spreading

Body Language of Finger Spreading

BodyLanguageProjectCom - Finger Spreader 1Cue: Finger Spreading

Synonym(s): Finger Spreader (The)

Description: The hands are held out and fingers splayed apart facing palm to the audience.

In One Sentence: Spreading the fingers is a way to capture the attention of other people like a large embrace.

How To Use it: Spread the fingers out when trying to connect with a wide audience. Use the posture to show others that you are confident and willing to embrace them fully and have the dominance to put yourself out on full display. This posture is best used during presentations to a large audience.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m spreading my fingers and extending my arms to try to touch and feel each one of you, connect with you, and massage my ideas into your minds.”

Variant: See Baton Gesture, Finger Pointing.

Cue In Action: The presenter spreads his fingers and extends his arms as he tries to explain his concept. His desire to connect demonstrates authority, confidence, dominance and enthusiasm.

Meaning and/or Motivation: This is an attempt to make contact with the entire audience.

Cue Cluster: N/A

Body Language Category: Authoritative body language, Confident body language, Dominant body language, Enthusiasm (nonverbal), Expansive movements, Excited, Gravity defying body language, High confidence body language, Leadership body language, Open body language, Palm power, Rapport or rapport building, Remotivating.

Resources:

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Body Language of Finger Pointing

Body Language of Finger Pointing

BodyLanguageProjectCom - Finger Pointing 3Cue: Finger Pointing

Synonym(s): Pointing, Closed Palm Finger Pointing.

Description: The hand is balled up with the index finger remaining extended ready to jab.

In One Sentence: Finger pointing is a way people distract others from things they are doing by refocusing the attention of others.

How To Use it: Use the index finger like a spear and wave it around when you really want to drive a point. It must be used with caution and with a receptive audience or it will be seen negatively and threatening. The finger is also effective at provoking especially when you wish to arouse confrontation. Use finger pointing when you want someone else to lose their emotional cool as it will incite an aggressive counter reaction. Therefore, prodding with a finger can perform two functions including helping to punctuate important points as well as instigate emotional rebuttals. The index finger, regardless, should be used with care.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I want everyone to look at what I’m pointing at and not at me.” “I’ve sharpened my spear. It is my index finger, and it’s extended and ready to thrust. It will jab at anyone or anything that might be in its path – so watch-out! I’m here to make a point.”

Variant: The middle finger is sometimes used rather than the index which is viewed as offensive by many. The thumb in the hand gesture is a more authoritative and acceptable way to make a point. Also see Finger Wagging (left and right).

Cue In Action: During a confrontation, Jill, pointed over and over, stabbing and prodding her husband with her index finger, each time laying in more and more blame.

Meaning and/or Motivation: The pointer is akin to a spear thrower. Every time they thrust their finger forward or shake it rhythmically it is as if they are jabbing their ideas into their audience and turning them submissive. We see this most often during aggressive verbal fights where the accuser is making strong personal attacks against the other. We also see it during passionate presentations when the speaker wishes to strongly emphasis a point.

Pointing finds its place all over the world to indicate direction or to emphasis a point. However, even the pointing gesture shows variation across culture as some will point with the index finger, others will use the middle finger and yet others still will point with a closed fist and use the thumb to indicate. Most cultures find pointing rude altogether, but others are more tolerant of its use. Where the middle finger is seen as a rude gesture, using it to point can be extremely off-putting and should be avoided.

Pointing fingers is a universal gesture that is negative in nature because it is as if the person is throwing spears. Finger pointing usually appears during aggressive verbal arguments. Finger pointing puts the reflection and responsibility onto the listener, and for this reason, they attach negative connotations to the speaker. It creates defensive feelings in the listener and as it persists, these defensive feelings grow into aggression. Parents will often use the pointing finger to scold children but adults will be far less tolerant of other’s authority especially those of equal status so it is unwise to exercise this gesture with abandon.

Cue Cluster: Finger pointing is usually coupled with a loud voice, enthusiastic gesticulation, leaning inward or encroaching.

Body Language Category: Arrogance or arrogant body language, Aggressive body language, Anger, Authoritative body language, Body pointing, Dominant body language, Enthusiasm (nonverbal), Expansive movements, Hostile body language, Space invasion, Threat displays.

Resources:

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