Category: Shy nonverbal

*No Photo, Defensive body language, Disengagement body language, Distancing or moving away, Escape movements, Low confidence body language, Low confidence hand displays, Nonthreatening body language, Readiness to submit postures, Shy nonverbal, Social touching, Space invasion

Body Language of The Teacup Handshake

by Chris • October 29, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of The Teacup Handshake

Cue: Teacup Handshake (The)

Synonym(s): N/A

Description: In the teacup handshake, the palm is cupped such that it makes no contact with the other palm.

In One Sentence: The teacup handshake is an indication that one wants to preserve their distance.

How To Use it: This handshake is not advised as it is perceived in a negative light.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m not ready to fully bond with you which is why my palm isn’t going to touch yours fully. This is my way of protecting my intimacy from other people.”

Variant: See Country Handshake (The), Cold Dead Wet Fish Handshake, Double Gripper Politician Handshake or Double Hander (The), Short Grabber/Finger Grabber Handshake, Oddball Handshake, Palm Up, Palm Down and Palm Even Handshakes, Stiff Arm And Thrust Forward Handshake, Death Grip Handshake, Wrench Forward Handshake, Undershaker Handshake, Wrist Hold Handshake, Wrist Hold Handshake and Upper Arm Grip Handshake, Limp Fish Handshake, Teacup Handshake, Arm Twister Handshake (The), Firm handshake, Fist Bumping.

Cue In Action: Dave noticed an attractive women was about to miss the elevator so he used his foot to keep the door open for her. She thanked him quietly. Dave commented about the weather and then put his hand out and introduced himself. She barely looked up at his eyes and shook his hand palm cupped. She was shy, but Dave was intrigued.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Someone that shakes hands like this is either shy or insecure, doesn’t want to fully bond or is trying to hide something.

These people might take more time to open up and fully reveal their true selves to others. Someone that uses the teacup handshake likely doesn’t want to shake hands at all, but is complying because it’s customary to do so. Take your time with them and give them lots space to open up and instead of bantering on endlessly give them an open platform to express themselves.

Cue Cluster: Expect someone to keep their distance, keep their bodies hunched up, be off to the side in quiet areas, use a soft voice and make infrequent eye contact.

Body Language Category: Defensive body language, Disengagement body language, Distancing or moving away, Escape movements, Low confidence body language, Low confidence hand displays, Nonthreatening body language, Readiness to submit postures, Shy nonverbal, Space invasion, Social touching.

Resources:

Aström, J ; Thorell, L H ; Holmlund, U ; D’Elia, G. Handshaking, personality, and psychopathology in psychiatric patients, a reliability and correlational study. Perceptual and motor skills 1993, Vol.77(3 Pt 2): 1171-86.

Beaulieu, Catherine. Intercultural Study of Personal Space: A Case Study. Journal of Applied Social Psychology. 2004 34(4):794-805.

Chaplin William F.; Phillips Jeffrey B; Brown Jonathan D.; Clanton Nancy R.; Stein Jennifer L.; 2000. Handshaking, gender, personality, and first impressions Journal of personality and social psychology. 79(1): 110-117.

Dolcos, Sanda ; Sung, Keen ; Argo, Jennifer J ; Flor-Henry, Sophie ; Dolcos, Florin. The power of a handshake: neural correlates of evaluative judgments in observed social interactions. Journal of cognitive neuroscience. 2012 24(12): 2292-305.

Dolphin, Carol Zinner. Beyond hall: Variables in the use of personal space in intercultural transactions. Howard Journal of Communications. 1988. 1(1): 23-38.

Frumin, Idan; Ofer Perl; Yaara Endevelt-Shapira; Ami Eisen; Neetai Eshel; Iris Heller; Maya Shemesh; Aharon Ravia; Lee Sela; Anat Arzi and Noam Sobel. A Social Chemosignaling Function for Human Handshaking. eLife 2015. 4:e05154
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Fisher, J; Rytting, M and Heslin, R. 1976. Hands touching hands: affective and evaluative effects on interpersonal touch, Sociometry 39: 416–421.

Gueguen, Nicolas. Handshaking and Compliance With a Request – A Door-to-door Setting. Social Behavior and Personality. 2013. 41(10): 1585-1588.
http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/handshakes-lead-compliance-study/

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Greenberg, Carl I. ; Firestone, Ira J. Greenwald, Anthony G. (editor). Compensatory responses to crowding: Effects of personal space intrusion and privacy reduction. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 1977. 35(9): 637-644.

Graziano, Michael S.A. and Cooke, Dylan F. Parieto-frontal interactions, personal space, and defensive behavior. Neuropsychologia. 2006. 44(6): 845-859.

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Hiemstra, Kathleen M. Shake My Hand: Making the Right First Impression in Business With Nonverbal Communications.(Brief Article)(Statistical Data Included). Business Communication Quarterly. 1999. 62(4): 71.

Jeffrey D. Fisher; Marvin Rytting; Richard Heslin. 1976. Hands Touching Hands: Affective and Evaluative Effects of an Interpersonal Touch. Sociometry, 39(4): 416-421.

Lipsitz, Rebecca (2000). “A Gripping Start.” In Scientific American (September), p. 32.

Morris, Desmond (1994). Bodytalk: The Meaning of Human Gestures (New York: Crown Publishers).

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Pease, Barbara and Allan Pease. 2006. The Definitive Book of Body Language Hardcover. Bantam.

Sanda Dolcos; Keen Sung; Jennifer J. Argo; Sophie Flor-Henry and Florin Dolcos. The Power of a Handshake: Neural Correlates of Evaluative Judgments in Observed Social Interactions. Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience. 24; 12: 2292–2305.
http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/handshake-open-body-language-powerful-nonverbal-effect-brain/

Stewart, Greg L. ; Dustin, Susan L. ; Barrick, Murray R. ; Darnold, Todd C. Zedeck, Sheldon (editor). Exploring the Handshake in Employment Interviews. Journal of Applied Psychology. 2008. 93(5): 1139-1146.

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Amplifier, Auto contact or self touching, Boredom body language, Courtship display, Displacement behaviour, Embarrassment (nonverbal), Emotional body language, Idiosyncratic body language, Indicator Of Sexual Interest (IOsI), Low confidence body language, Oral displacement activities, Pacifying body language, Pensive displays, Pseudo-infantile gestures, Security blankets, Shy nonverbal, Worry body language

Body Language of Suckling

by Chris • October 28, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Suckling

Cue: Suckling.

Synonym(s): Mouthing An Object, Chewing On A Pen, Pen Sucking, Sucking On A Pen (or other), Oral Fixation.

Description: When any object including pens or fingers are brought to the lips and chewed or sucked on.

In One Sentence: Suckling indicates a need for self-soothing due to negative feelings.

How To Use it: While suckling can help produce comfort, it is not considered a cue that should be used in full view of others as it is unlikely to produce a desirable impression.

Context: a) General. b) Dating.

Verbal Translation: “I’m in need of an oral fixation to calm my nerves so I’m suckling – on my finger or pen, as I did when I was a baby.”

Variant: See Hand to Mouth, Lip Chewing or Chewing The Lips, Hair Play, Nail Biting.

Cue In Action: a) Debbie was a shy, timid person, she kept her gaze low, easily blushed, and was quiet around strangers. This was especially so when put on the spot or questioned. At her desk, she habitually mouthed pens, paper clips, or chewed on her fingers. a) During the exam, the student mouthed her pen as she suffered through a question she wasn’t familiar with. b) Debbie was thinking about Mark and subconsciously tapped the end of her pen against her lower lip. The pen was a phallic replacement.

Meaning and/or Motivation: The mouth and lips are full of nerve endings which, when stimulated, provides tactile gratification and comfort. However, anytime the fingers go to the mouth such as playing with the side of the mouth or lip, it’s a retrogressive action indicating insecurity. These types of gestures are called “pacifying behaviours” because they are designed to reduce anxiety when someone is exposed to something distressing. Pacifying language tells us that the mind is not at ease, and it is attempting to restore the body’ natural state.

Suckling body language essentially turns us back into babies or at least indicates to others our need for self-soothing due to emotional stress.

Adults that are tense or anxious will play with their mouth or lip. Mouthing a pen, cigarette, hair, and even a piece of gum during emotional distress are substitutes for the mother’s breast. They remind us of early childhood mouthing. Sucking, like plucking, picking or chewing the lips or rubbing them with a finger or thumb are all forms of auto touching. Confident individuals would never consider using these types of security blankets.

Alternatively, an object to the mouth can represent a phallic purpose. Subconscious controls can lead one to bring an object to the mouth during sexual thoughts. The pen for example, can be a substitute for a penis during arousal.

Cue Cluster: Watch for other negative emotional cues such as pinching the skin, scratching, smoothing clothing, eye aversion, head lowered, blushing, trembling, attempt to exit (escape movements), ventral denial, turning the body away, sweating and so forth.

Body Language Category: Amplifier, Auto contact or self touching, Boredom body language, Courtship displays, Displacement behaviour, Embarrassment (nonverbal), Emotional body language, Idiosyncratic body language, Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Low confidence body language, Oral displacement activities, Pensive displays, Pseudo-infantile gestures, Pacifying body language, Security blankets, Shy nonberbal, Worry body language.

Resources:

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Barriers, Blocking or Shielding, Body cross, Clenching and gripping, Closed body language, Defensive body language, Embarrassment (nonverbal), Low confidence body language, Nervous Body Language, Shy nonverbal

Body Language of Partial Arm Cross or Incomplete Arm Cross

by Chris • October 27, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Partial Arm Cross or Incomplete Arm Cross

Cue: Partial Arm Cross or Incomplete Arm Cross

Synonym(s): Incomplete Arm Cross, Elbow Grab, Shoulder Grab, Hand to Elbow, Hand to Shoulder, Half-Hug.

Description: Where one arm crosses over the body to clasp the other arm or elbow. It can also happen by reaching across to grab the opposite shoulder.

In One Sentence: A partial arm cross is a sign of insecurity.

How To Use it: Use this gesture to create comfort where escape is impractical. Unlike a full arm cross which tells others that you are not ready to receive additional information, a partial arm cross can be used to tell others that you are not totally at ease. This can be used to signal to others the desire to be protected.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m feeling awkward and insecure. I need to feel protected so I’m going to reach across my body making a shield and cut off access while also feeling like mom or dad is holding me and protecting me.”

Variant: See Arm Crossing.

Cue In Action: Her mom brought her to a busy mall where they met up with friends. A particularly cute boy was also there with his family and they began to chat. Her mom was busy looking at clothing and she was left by herself. She enjoyed talking with him, but felt awkward which was evident because she grabber her elbow across her body tightly.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Reaching across the body and grabbing the opposite elbow or shoulder is mainly a female posture. While the double arm hug is a defensive postures, the partial arm cross is a subtle posture that indicates fear, timidity, shyness and lack of self confidence. Both are barrier type postures which protect the core of the body like a shield to signals to others that we don’t wish for them to come close.

The origins of the partial arm cross likely stems from the comfort felt by a child who’s hand was held or who’s shoulder was grasped by a parent when in novel situations. The posture feels natural and comfortable when in fearful situations because it provides the sensation of being hugged and protected, like having our hand held.

Women are the most common users of this posture. While men can be seen in the partial arm cross, although it is much more rare. It may have to do with trying not to appear as timid or that men simply experience the emotions far less. Men will use other postures such as the fig leaf posture or play with the cufflink or watch instead. They may also seek other displacement activities to help self sooth.

Cue Cluster: Expect to see other gestures like child-like swaying, biting the lower lip or inside of the cheek, blushing, touching the face when fingers are not crossed, shortness of breath, eyes fixated, worried or wandering to seek an exit, feet and torso pointed away.

Body Language Category: Barriers, Body cross, Blocking or Shielding, Clenching and gripping, Closed body language, Defensive body language, Embarrassment (nonverbal), Low confidence body language, Nervous body language, Shy nonverbal.

Resources:

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*No Photo, Disengagement body language, Low confidence body language, Low confidence hand displays, Nonthreatening body language, Shy nonverbal, Social touching

Body Language of The Limp Fish Handshake

by Chris • October 23, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of The Limp Fish Handshake

Cue: Limp Fish Handshake (The)

Synonym(s): N/A

Description: A handshake that has far too little pressure.

In One Sentence: The limpfish handshake indicates weakness.

How To Use it: This handshake is generally ill-advised unless one desires to demonstrate feigned weakness or feel that they can benefit from demonstrating real weakness. For example, feigning weakness can often garnering sympathy from others.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m weak of mind or body. I shake hands only weakly with far too little pressure.”

Cue In Action: The baseball coach shook the hands of the girls on the other team at the end of the match and noticed that the best players had the firmest handshakes.

Meaning and/or Motivation: The limp fish handshake indicates a timid personality who feels that touching is a violation of personal space.

Conversely the limp fish shake can be done due to natural muscle weakness especially when done by the elderly or sick. When performed by healthy men and women it signifies weakness, timidity or shyness. Such a person will seem to be a pushover and be easily manipulated or at best not looking for a fight.

Cue Cluster: Expect to see other cues of timidity such as lack of eye contact, ventral denial, lowered head and shoulders.

Body Language Category: Disengagement, Low confidence body language, Low confidence hand displays, Nonthreatening body language, Shy nonverbal, Social touching.

Resources:

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Barriers, Blocking or Shielding, Closed facial gestures, Low confidence body language, Low confidence hand displays, Lying or deceptive body language, Negative body language, Security blankets, Shy nonverbal, Suspicious body language

Body Language of Hidden Mouth or Mouth Conceal

by Chris • October 23, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Hidden Mouth or Mouth Conceal

Cue: Hidden Mouth or Mouth Conceal

Synonym(s): Covering The Mouth, Hand Over The Mouth, Talking Through The Hand, Mouth Guard (The).

Description: Done by placing the hand over the mouth, in part, or whole and “talking through it.”

In One Sentence: Hiding the mouth is a nonverbal signal indicating secrecy and the need for security.

How To Use it: One should do their best to avoid covering their mouth with their hand as it is an obvious display of lack of confidence.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m insecure or telling a lie so I’m covering my mouth to give me protection, security and secrecy.”

Variant: The gesture can be done with a fist, a finger, or a ‘shushing’ motion with the index finger vertically placed over the lips. In the Mouth Guard the hand raises up to the cheek, or side of the mouth, or by wrapping a finger around the upper lip. Sometimes the hand does a downward swipe with the mouth, the hand is made into a fist and rested against the mouth, or it seems as if the person is talking through their hand. See Hand To Mouth.

Other times the subconscious mind is so powerful that the hand comes up and slaps the mouth, such as when telling a lie, but to cover this ‘tell’, a fake cough is added.

Cue In Action: a) While on a date, Dave wrapped his fingers around his upper lip. He felt terribly uncomfortable being around such an attractive girl. Ccovering his mouth gave him a place to hide – a security blanket. b) After telling a fib, Billie brought her index finger up to the corner of her mouth as if shushing herself.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Hand covering the mouth shows timidity, low self esteem and appears dishonest to others.

Mouth covering is also way to reduce the pain of telling a lie. In this case, it is so as to “speak no evil.” Small children perform a full cover and even slap their mouths when they say something they shouldn’t. Grown adults will sometimes cup their hands to their mouths like children in effort to “jam the words back in their mouths” but usually use more subtle gestures such as talking through their hand or placing a finger softly over their lips.

Talking with ones hand covering the mouth “talking through the hand” or resting the hand around the mouth by wrapping the fingers around the top, are significant clues indicating insecurity.

Subconsciously, hand-to-mouth gestures leads people to distrust others, and see them as less honest overall.

Cue Cluster: Hand to mouth is a standalone cue and doesn’t require many additional cues to spell meaning. The context of the cue, be it high anxiety such as on a date or interview, or while being suspect of lying, will define the meaning of hand to mouth.

Body Language Category: Barriers, Blocking or Shielding, Closed facial gestures, Low confidence body language, Low confidence hand displays, Lying or deceptive body language, Negative body language, Security blankets, Shy nonverbal, Suspicious body language.

Resources:

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Auto contact or self touching, Frustration or frustrated body language, Pacifying body language, Pensive displays, Pseudo-infantile gestures, Shy nonverbal, Stressful body language, Stroking body language, Worry body language

Body Language of Hand Behind Head or Head Pacifying

by Chris • October 22, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Hand Behind Head or Head Pacifying

Cue: Hand Behind Head or Head Pacifying

Synonym(s): Head Scratching, Head Petting, Hair Stroking.

Description: A scratching, rubbing, petting, smoothing, scratching or ruffling of the hair at the back of the head. Head pacifying may also be done by holding of the back of the neck or head with the palm of the hand or hands.

In One Sentence: When the hand comes to the back of the head it shows that one is trying to self sooth due to negative emotions.

How To Use it: Stroking the back of the head or neck area can help to release positive calming hormones. One might use the gesture when other people are not nearby to help you resolve your problems. When difficult problems arise, ticking the back of the neck or just cradling the back of the neck can simulate the care we received as infants which, in turn, help dissipate the negative emotions.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m in need of comfort so I’m petting the back of my head in order to make me feel better as my parents did when I was a child.”

Variant: See Head Clasping or Head Cradling, Hooding or The Catapult.

Cue In Action: As he evaluated the business proposition, he worked his hand against the grain of his hair at the back of his head in effort to pacify himself and bring comfort.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Head pacifying through stroking the hair signifies a need to pacify during emotional discomfort, as a parent might do to a young child. Imagine Mom or Dad massaging the back of a child’s head when they are nervous or distressed. During stress or boredom, an adult uses stroking the back of the head to replicate the soothing feelings he recalls from his childhood.

Cue Cluster: The lips might purse or tense, the eyes might glaze over and contemplate, the hands might return to the face and rub the eyes, a hand might down stroke the mouth, and a person may show other signals of distress or boredom such as fidgeting.

Body Language Category: Auto contact or self touching, Stroking body language, Frustration or frustrated body language, Pensive displays, Pacifying, Pseudo-infantile gestures, Shy nonverbal, Stressful body language, Worry body language.

Resources:

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Appease, Embarrassment (nonverbal), Energy Displacement, Excited body language, Fearful body language, Nervous Body Language, Shy nonverbal, Stressful body language, Submissive body language

Body Language of Forced Laughter

by Chris • October 22, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Forced Laughter

Cue: Forced Laughter

Synonym(s): Stress Laugh.

Description: Laughter that is not due to real enjoyment.

In One Sentence: Forced laughter indicates the desire to appease another person.

How To Use it: Stress laughing shows that you are willing to submit to the authority of another person or laugh to be part of a group or simply to be polite. Laughing at bad jokes is useful to lower ranking employees whom should, by all means, laugh at the jokes of their bosses, no matter how funny they are found to be. This sends the message that you are willing to be a “team player” and placate.

Context: General, Stress.

Verbal Translation: “I’m not really happy nor do I find that funny, but I’m laughing to show my appeasement and submission to you and to join in on your amusement.”

Variant: See Laughter.

Cue In Action: a) The boss made a joke that no one found funny, but everyone still laughed. b) She was presenting her findings to the University. She giggled often showing her nervousness and lack of confidence, making everyone take her a little less seriously, but still welcoming her speech and empathizing with her discomfort.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Laughter that is meant to disguise hidden anxiety or disagreement, stress, be polite, or in effort to connect with new people. We use a stress-laugh to dispel and ease tension both for our own purpose and that of others. Laughter is a fear based response and also shows others that we are submitting to them.

Cue Cluster: Other agreement indicators such as head nods, eye contact and will accompany a forced laughter. It can also be accompanied by blushing, uneasy or quivering voice, and pacifying cue such as face and neck touching.

Body Language Category: Appease, Embarrassment (nonverbal), Energy Displacement, Excited body language, Fearful body language, Nervous body language, Shy nonverbal, Stressful body language, Submissive body language.

Resources:

Foley, Erin ; Matheis, Robert ; Schaefer, Charles. Effect of forced laughter on mood.(Abstract). Psychological Reports. 2002 90(1): 184(1).

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Barriers, Blocking or Shielding, Body cross, Clenching and gripping, Defensive body language, Embarrassment (nonverbal), Low confidence body language, Negative body language, Nervous Body Language, Protective reflexes, Shy nonverbal

Body Language of The Fig Leaf Posture

by Chris • October 21, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of The Fig Leaf Posture

Cue: Fig Leaf Posture (The)

Synonym(s): Fig Leaf Position, Loin Clothe Posture, Broken Zipper Posture.

Description: This posture occurs by placing one or both hands in front of the midsection.

In One Sentence: The fig leaf posture is a signal that one wishes to hide the genitals from exposure because one is feeling emotionally overexposed.

How To Use it: Use the fig leaf in front of an audience to provide more privacy and the feeling of security. A podium makes a nice replacement to the fig leaf as does holding sheets of paper or notes in a clipboard, which can be placed over the mid-section. As these items appear to have a legitimate function, they will not make it appear as though you are discomforted.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m feeling overexposed and therefore uncomfortable so I’m going to block my private areas from view with my hands to preserve some of my modesty.”

Variant: The standing leg cross is another way people will try to hide their private areas and sometimes this posture is coupled with the fig leaf posture to show additional insecurity.

Cue In Action: a) Sally and Jim were new to the firm and decided to introduce themselves. While standing and conversing each interlocked their fingers and rested them over their private areas. b) While presenting, the candidate moved away from the podium and quickly coupled his hands together and rested them just below his belt. c) While listening in class, the student clasped his hands and rested them on his lap when the conversation moved to a topic that made him uncomfortable.

Meaning and/or Motivation: The fig leaf posture shows insecurity, shyness and lack of confidence and occurs when we find ourselves in novel environments or around people we aren’t familiar with.

We will often see this from less confident speakers who find themselves exposed to large audiences or when a presenter requires a participant (victim) to demonstrate a concept.

The fig leaf by either sex is a closed body position. It blocks the private mid section from view even when clothed. It takes its ‘fig leaf’ name from Adam and Eve’s traditionally portrayed posture in the Garden of Eden artwork where a leaf was used as a covering to provide privacy.

Modest men and women who find themselves accidentally disrobed will instinctively clasp their hands over their private areas. Naked women will split their attention from both breasts with one arm and hand, with the other hand over their genitals. Men will exclusively protect their genitals from view with both hands.

In real life however, we will rarely find ourselves nude and exposed in public, but our minds are still hardwired to harbour feelings of insecurity from overexposure. In day-to-day situations, women won’t be found covering their breasts by clasping them and men won’t grab their genitals a-la Micheal Jackson, but they will clasp both hands together either tightly by interlocking their fingers, or loosely with hand in hand and then casually placing them over their mid-section. Standing is the most obvious and common way that the fig leaf position shows itself, but it can also find its way in a seated position as the hands are rested on the lap.

Cue Cluster: The fig leaf is a stand alone posture and does not require additional cues for support, but we expect to see it clustered with leg crossing (usually at the ankle) and various pacifying behaviours such as self touching, stroking, blushing and nervousness.

Body Language Category: Barriers, Body cross, Blocking or Shielding, Clenching and gripping, Defensive, Embarrassment (nonverbal), Low confidence body language, Negative body language, Nervous body language, Protective reflexes, Shy nonverbal.

Resources:

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Auto contact or self touching, Barriers, Blocking or Shielding, Body cross, Body size reduction, Defensive body language, Low confidence body language, Negative body language, Nervous Body Language, Protective reflexes, Pseudo-infantile gestures, Shy nonverbal

Body Language of The Fetal Position

by Chris • October 21, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of The Fetal Position

Cue: Fetal Position (The)

Synonym(s): Hugging The Knees, Pulling The Knees In, Balling Up.

Description: The knees are pulled into the body and hugged.

In One Sentence: Pulling the knees into the body is akin to the fetal position and is a protective posture signaling the need for emotional comfort.

How To Use it: Use this cue to signal that you are under distress and wish for others to offer care and support. Balling the body in this way can produce a smaller profile making the body feel like a smaller, less noticeable target. Hugging the knees also simulates the sensation of being hugged, thus activating the embodiment of being comforted. The sensation is not unlike being hugged by parents. Thus, the fetal position is a way we can self-sooth when parents or friends are not nearby.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I need to feel the comfort of being held to remind me of the protection I felt in my mom’s womb or when she snuggled me, as I am suffering extreme discomfort and stress.”

Variant: See Bow and Body Bend, Crouching, Self-Hugging or The Double Arm Hug.

Cue In Action: a) She was alone for the first time at camp and hugged her knees while the other girls read scary books and fooled around. b) When she found out about a death in the family, she balled herself up on the couch and a grief filled expression came across her face.

Meaning and/or Motivation: It is a child-like posture because it reminds us of being protected by our mothers. It signifies grief, fear, timidity, shyness, discomfort and pain. The body shows that it needs to take on a smaller profile and seek comfort at the same time. As adults, we must provide comfort for ourselves so we are forced to use our own arms and legs to self-hug. With age, we learn that taking up the fetal position, like thumb sucking, is not an acceptable way of dealing with our insecurity so we drop the extreme form of the gesture in favour of more subtle cues.

In mild forms, it can be simply a posture one uses for comfort. When it appears in public it signifies that a person has an underlying motivation for pacifying and feels insecure. When done at home, can simply be a way to feel embraced and cared for.

While it might seem far-fetched to expect someone in your company to have this posture, it does occur although in more abbreviated adult acceptable ways. While at an informal party, for example, a woman might find herself hugging her knees at the end of a couch. To her, this feels comfortable, which is why she does it, but it reveals her true emotions.

The abbreviated form of this position, of course, and one that is more acceptable in public is to pull the limbs in closer to the body and across the centerline as in the “self hug”.

Cue Cluster: The fetal position is commonly associated with averted or wandering eyes, head turned away or down, being quiet, reading a book, wearing headphones or other ways to escape coupled with an expressionless, worry or pensive facial expression.

Body Language Category: Auto contact or self touching, Barriers, Body cross, Body size reduction, Blocking or Shielding, Defensive, Low confidence body language, Negative body language, Nervous body language, Pseudo-infantile gestures, Protective reflexes, Shy nonverbal.

Resources:

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*No Photo, Auto contact or self touching, Barriers, Depressive body language, Disengagement body language, Embarrassment (nonverbal), Escape movements, Eye blocking, Frustration or frustrated body language, Negative body language, Protective reflexes, Pseudo-infantile gestures, Shy nonverbal

Body Language of Face Palm and Double Face Palm

by Chris • October 21, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Face Palm and Double Face Palm

Cue: Face Palm

Synonym(s): N/A

Description: A gesture done by placing the hand or hands on the face or forehead cupping or conversely, lowering the face on to the palms rested on a surface such as a desk.

In One Sentence: The face palm signals frustration, disappointment, embarrassment, shock, surprise or even sarcasm.

How To Use it: Use the face palm to demonstrate that you feel embarrassed by what you just heard. It’s a nonverbal “Oh my God!”

You may also use the face palm to show others that you are suffering pain or grief. This can help garner sympathy and is not unlike the reaction children have to emotional discomfort. In this way, covering the face with the palms allows one to shield one’s self from view to escape further shame and embarrassment so can lessen the negative effects.

To appear in control and dominant, however, never cover the face – one should simply own up to their behaviour, shameful, or otherwise.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: a) “The world is ending as I know it, I need to stop people from seeing my face as I stifle tears and also try to block any additional negativity from striking me.” b) “Oh my God, I can’t believe you just said that, what shame you have provided yourself.” c) “I feel stupid just being around you, I’m cowering in shame.”

Variant: See Face Wash (The).

Cue In Action: The stockbroker brought his hands up and covered his face. He watched helplessly while the stock market plunged wiping out his client’s equity.

Meaning and/or Motivation: The face palm indicates frustration, disappointment, embarrassment, shock, surprise or even sarcasm.

The face palm has roots in childhood where toddlers would hide and bury their face when crying in blankets or against the chest or lap of parents, so others wouldn’t see their grief or shyness.

Recent Internet usage has applied this gesture where one wishes to show disappointment and shame on forums and in comments following videos and articles. The face is covered to hide frustration through a desire to block and shield external stimuli from entering and hide emotions from the view of others.

Cue Cluster: The face and eyes will wince and scrunch, eyebrows lower, tears may form, and deep frustration will come across the face. The shoulders will slump and the torso will bend at the waist. If standing the torso may bend backwards as if praying.

Body Language Category: Auto contact or self touching, Barriers, Depressive,
Disengagement, Embarrassment (nonverbal), Escape movements, Eye blocking, Frustration or frustrated body language, Negative body language, Pseudo-infantile gestures, Protective reflexes, Shy nonverbal.

Resources:

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