Category: Courtship display

Appease, Approach tell, Auto contact or self touching, Courtship display, Indicator Of Sexual Interest (IOsI), Readiness to submit postures, Tie signals

Body Language of Wrist Exposure Displays

by Chris • October 30, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Wrist Exposure Displays

Cue: Wrist Exposure Displays.

Synonym(s): Showing The Wrist, Displaying The Wrist, Stroking The Wrist, Exposing The Wrists.

Description: Removing clothing, stroking the wrist, turning the palms up, or playing with an earring that causes the wrists to be exposed.

In One Sentence: Showing the wrist is a female posture signaling submission.

How To Use it: The wrist signal is a female or feminine posture that women (and possibly gay men) use to signal submission. The wrists are a vulnerable part of the body and like the neck, when displayed, signal that a person is willing to heed to the dominance of another. Women can flash the wrist by turning the hands palm up, or lightly stroke the wrists with an index finger. This is not particularly noticeable to men, however, if done correctly, it will elicit a subconscious attraction response in him at a low cost to you.

Context: Dating.

Verbal Translation: “I wish to submit to your dominance so I’m exposing my delicate and vulnerable wrists.”

Variant: See Neck Exposure.

Cue In Action: She frequently fiddled with her earring or her wristwatch while on her date. This helped calm herself, as she was excited just being around him.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Exposures of the wrist, palm and neck are visceral responses linked to submissiveness and are displayed or flashed during courtship by women. Flashing of the wrist indicates that trust is present during courtship.

In men, flashing the wrist or loosely bending at the wrist is an effeminate signal. Thus, men and women share a similar submissive origin for this nonverbal signal.

Cue Cluster: Watch for other submissive courtship cues such as head bowed, eyes cast upward, neck titling, shoulder shrugs, giggling, batting eyelashes, self stroking, playing with the hair or self grooming, among many others.

Body Language Category: Appease, Approach tell, Auto contact or self touching, Courtship display, Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Readiness to submit postures, Tie signals.

Resources:

Abbey, A., and Melby, C. (1986). The effects of nonverbal cues on gender differences in perceptions of sexual intent. Sex Roles, 15, 283-298.

Abrahams, Matthewf. Perceiving flirtatious communication: An exploration of the perceptual dimensions underlying judgments of flirtatiousness. Journal of Sex Research. 1994. 31(4): 283-292.

Costa, M., Menzani, M., & Ricci Bitti, P. E. Head canting in paintings: An historical study. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior. 2001. 25: 63–73.

Costa, M., & Ricci Bitti, P. E. Face-ism effect and head canting in one’s own and others’ photographs. European Psychologist. 2000. 5: 293–301.

Cari D. Goetz; Judith A. Easton; David M.G. Lewis; David M. Buss. Sexual Exploitability: Observable Cues And Their Link To Sexual Attraction. Evolution and Human Behavior. 2012; 33: 417-426.
http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/victim-blaming-or-useful-information-in-preventing-rape-and-sexual-exploitation/

Cantú, Stephanie M ; Simpson, Jeffry A ; Griskevicius, Vladas ; Weisberg, Yanna J ; Durante, Kristina M ; Beal, Daniel J. Fertile and Selectively Flirty. Psychological Science. 2014. 25(2): 431-438.

Clark, A. Attracting Interest: Dynamic Displays of Proceptivity Increase the Attractiveness of Men and Women. Evolutionary Psychology. 2008., 6(4), 563-574.
http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/risky-versus-proceptive-nonverbal-sexual-cues/

Cantú, Stephanie M ; Simpson, Jeffry A ; Griskevicius, Vladas ; Weisberg, Yanna J ; Durante, Kristina M ; Beal, Daniel J. Fertile and Selectively Flirty. Psychological Science. 2014. 25(2): 431-438.

Greer, Arlettee. ; Buss, Davidm. Tactics for promoting sexual encounters. Journal of Sex Research. 1994. 31(3): 185-201.

Goetz, Cari D.; Judith A. Easton; David M.G. Lewis; David M. Buss. Sexual Exploitability: Observable Cues And Their Link To Sexual Attraction. Evolution and Human Behavior. 2012; 33: 417-426.
http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/victim-blaming-or-useful-information-in-preventing-rape-and-sexual-exploitation/

Goetz, Cari D.; Judith A. Easton; Cindy M. Meston. The Allure of Vulnerability: Advertising Cues to Exploitability as a Signal of Sexual Accessibility. Personality and Individual Differences. 2013. 62: 121-125. http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2014.02.019
http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/allure-sexual-vulnerability-move/

Guéguen Nicolas. Gait and menstrual cycle: ovulating women use sexier gaits and walk slowly ahead of men. Gait Posture. 2012; 35(4): 621-4.
http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/gait-as-bait-women-walk-sexy-during-high-sexual-receptivity/

Grammer, Karl ; Kruck, Kirsten ; Magnusson, Magnus. The Courtship Dance: Patterns of Nonverbal Synchronization in Opposite-Sex Encounters. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 1998, Vol.22(1), pp.3-29.

Givens D. The nonverbal basis of attraction: Flirtation, courtship, and seduction. Psychiatry. 1978. 41: 346.

Greer, Arlettee. ; Buss, Davidm. Tactics for promoting sexual encounters. Journal of Sex Research. 1994. 31(3): 185-201.

Hugill, Nadine ; Fink, Bernhard ; Neave, Nick. The role of human body movements in mate selection. Evolutionary psychology: an international journal of evolutionary approaches to psychology and behavior. 2010 8(1): 66-89.

Hald, G. M., & Høgh-Olesen, H. Receptivity to Sexual Invitations from Strangers of the Opposite Gender. Evolution and Human Behavior. 2010. 31, 453-458.

Hall, Jeffrey A. and Chong Xing. The Verbal and Nonverbal Correlates of the Five Flirting Styles. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior. 2015. 39:41–68. DOI 10.1007/s10919-014-0199-8 http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/first-12-minutes-flirting-using-nonverbal-communication-study-reveals-26-body-language-cues-attraction/

Lloyd-Elliott, Martin. 1994. Secretes of Sexual Body Language. Ulysses Press.

Moore, Monica. Human Nonverbal Courtship Behavior—A Brief Historical Review. Journal of Sex Research. 2010 47(2-3): 171-180.

Moore, Monica. Courtship Signaling and Adolescents: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. Journal of Sex Research. 1995. 32(4): 319-328.
http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/girls-just-want-to-have-fun-the-origins-of-courtship-cues-in-girls-and-women/

Moore, Monica. M. Nonverbal Courtship Patterns in Women: Context and consequences. Ethology and Sociobiology. 1985. 6:237- 247.

Moore, M. M. Courtship Communication and Perception. Perceptual and Motor Skills. 2002. 94(1): 97-105. doi:10.2466/PMS.94.1.97-105.

Moore, M. M. and D. L. Butler. 1989. Predictive aspects of nonverbal courtship behavior in women. Semiotica 76(3/4): 205-215.

Moore, M. M. 2001. Flirting. In C. G. Waugh (Ed.) Let’s talk: A cognitive skills approach to interpersonal communication. Newark, Kendall-Hunt.

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Mishra, Sandeep; Andrew Clark and Martin Daly. One Woman’s Behavior Affects The Attractiveness Of Others. Evolution and Human Behavior. 2007 28: 145-149.
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*No Photo, Courtship display, Indicator Of Sexual Interest (IOsI), Rapport or rapport building, Tie signals

Body Language of Wink

by Chris • October 30, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Wink

Cue: Wink.

Synonym(s): N/A.

Description: One eye closes for a split second while the other remains open.

In One Sentence: The wink is a way for people to share in a joke or to signal sexual interest.

How To Use it: To let people in on the joke nonverbally, simply wink one eye. The cue is best used following a joke which may or may not be obvious to the audience.

In dating, a wink can be used by men or women to signal covert sexual interest.

Context: a) General b) Dating.

Verbal Translation: a) “I’m winking to show you that we’re sharing a joke together.” b) “I’m winking at you to show you that you and I have a sexual energy.”

Variant: See Extended Blink or Double Wink.

Cue In Action: a) Dad winked at his son when Mom discovered that an extra piece of cake was missing. When Mom was out, Dad and son stole an extra a piece. They were both in on the joke. b) From across the bar, he winked at his wife showing her that he thought she was sexy in her new dress.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Winking is a gesture that usually signals that something cheeky is going on between two people who are “in on the joke.”

The wink is a “tie signal” meaning it is delivered from one person specifically toward another person who in on the secret, or joke. The wink is a long distance whisper because it conveys specific meaning quietly and it may or may not be noticed by other people.

At times, the wink has sexual or intimate connotations. Normally, men or overt women will perform this gesture to the opposite sex as a sexual invitation or during flirting. It becomes particularly salient when accompanied by a click of the tongue. A wink often carries more significance than touching such as from a handshake, hug or even a kiss on the cheek.

In 2007 George Bush attempted to recover from a gaffe with a wink, when accidentally suggesting that the Queen had been visiting the U.S. since 1776 making her out to be over 200 years old! The wink was only met with a frosty stare that only a disapproving mother could replicate.

Cue Cluster: The context will outline the purpose of the wink, be it sexual or general in origination.

Body Language Category: Courtship displays, Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Rapport or rapport building, Tie signals.

Resources:

Axtell, Roger E. Gestures: The Do’s and Taboos of Body Language Around the World. 1997. Wiley.

Kotlyar, Igor and Dan Ariely. The Effect of Nonverbal Cues on Relationship Formation.
Computers in Human Behavior. 2013. 29:544-551.

Birdwhistell, R. L. (1970). Kinesics and context: Essays on body motion communication. Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press.

Feldman, S. S. (1959). Mannerisms of speech and gestures in everyday life. New York: International Universities Press, Inc.

Gregersen, Tammy S. Nonverbal Cues: Clues to the Detection of Foreign Language Anxiety. Foreign Language Annals. 2005. 38(3): 388-400
http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/what-anxious-learners-can-tell-us-about-anxious-body-language-how-to-read-nonverbal-behavior/

Lindsey, A. Elizabeth ; Vigil, Valerie. The interpretation and evaluation of winking in stranger dyads. Communication Research Reports. 1999. 16(3): 256-265.

Morris, D. (1985). Bodywatching: A field guide to the human species. New York:Crowh Publishers, Inc.

Authoritative body language, Courtship display, Indicator Of Sexual Interest (IOsI), Intimate touching, Liking, Power play, Tie signals

Body Language of Touching or Increase In Touching

by Chris • October 29, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Touching or Increase In Touching

Cue: Touching or Increase In Touching.

Synonym(s): Increase In Touching, Placing Your Hands On Another, Intentional Touching, Brushing Up Against Someone Intentionally, Touching Intentionally, Touching On Purpose.

Description: Touching between people that suddenly increases, or simply when touching occurs between people.

In One Sentence: Touching or increased touching indicates the desire to create a bond or affiliation in order to receive something, be it material or emotional in nature.

How To Use it: Touch is well researched and has been found to be highly influential when done. Researcher has found that touching can help boost tips, increase the chances of compliance, as well as increase the chances of receiving help. Touching also creates intimacy in relationships from friendships to romantic partners. You should also use touch when you want to strengthen bonds or offer comfort.

Be careful to use touch in appropriate ways. As a general rule, touches further away from the core of the body are more acceptable. For example, touching the forearm or upper arm is more acceptable than touching the torso or small of the back, but in the right circumstances with the right people, this may be acceptable. Touching more intimate such as the breast, buttocks, and genital areas are obviously reserved for sexual relationships. However, in these relationships, can produce high intimacy, though also require a high amount of trust.

A slight touching of a stranger on the upper arm has a very powerful effect on cooperation. The effects of touch have been widely studied. The influence it has on behaviour and requests are conclusive, touching really can help you get what you want from others.

Nonreciprocal touching can serve as a power play between men. For example, in a bar setting, the man who is most at liberty to touch other men will be seen as most dominant, especially if he is not touched in response. This can also work in business where the boss wishes to keep his employees under his leadership.

Context: a) General b) Dating.

Verbal Translation: a) “I’m touching you because I want something from you, want to strengthen our bond, or am sexually interested in you.” a) I’m touching you because I want to comfort you.” b) “I’m touching you because I own you and can do whatever I want.” b) “I’m touching you because I’m sexually interested in you.”

Variant: See Accidental Touching, Head Touch (by others), Touch Reduction.

Cue In Action: a) The boss habitually bumped lightly against the junior manager with a bump of his fist. The gentle tap helped form a bond with him and showed him that they are in agreement and on the right track together.

a) The waitress lightly rubbed her breast up against the patron when reaching for the empty glasses across the table. She had used this technique previously to boost her tips.

b) She lightly brushed off his lapel, as if there was some lint present, then gave him a shoulder massage. Her intensions were becoming obvious to him.

b) She placed her hand over his chest and half hugged him – half rested her head on his shoulder. She did so while making eye contact with the new girl. It was a strong message of ownership.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Territoriality is a big part of the human repertoire. We rarely think about ownership of people, but placing an arm over someone, playfully messing up their hair or guiding them to where we want them to go by placing a hand on their back, as a parent would his child, are just a few ways that we show others that we own and control them.

Touching or an increase in touching likely means that a person is trying to strengthen an affiliation in order to receive something, usually a favour, or create an alliance of some kind. Touching can be a way to offer support and comfort to someone when they are sad or grieving. A mother offering care to her child when they are scared or hurt will often use touch. Alternatively, touching indicates sexual interest in a dating context.

Studies show that touching between men, especially in the workplace, is usually related to power plays and social jostling. An employer will place his hand on the shoulder or back of an employee to reaffirm his status while offering encouragement. Such displays are inappropriate in reverse and wouldn’t usually be tolerated.

Touching between men and women often defines sexual interest. When women touch each other, it is often done out of friendship or to extend sympathy or formulate bonds. When men touch, it signals friendship, but when it is done unilaterally, it signals dominance. Family members also use touching such as hugs and kisses to display affection. The level of touching that people are willing to accept is different from person-to-person. Touch comfort is also highly cultural.

Cue Cluster: Touching has meaning by itself due to its required level of commitment. However, we should also watch for increased proximity and sexual cues to decide how strong the affiliation is intended. The more cues in cluster the stronger the desire to control another person or access them sexually.

Body Language Category: Authoritative body language, Courtship display, Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Intimate touching, Liking, Power play, Tie signals.

Resources:

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Adaptors, Amplifier, Comfort body language, Courtship display, Indicator Of Sexual Interest (IOsI), Relaxed body language

Body Language of Symbolic Stripping or Removing Clothing

by Chris • October 28, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Symbolic Stripping or Removing Clothing

Cue: Symbolic Stripping or Removing Clothing.

Synonym(s): Removing Clothing.

Description: Includes loosening ties, removing jackets or over-shirts, rolling up the sleeves, undoing buttons and so forth.

In One Sentence: Removing clothing signals either a desire to get more comfortable, a desire to get down to business, or an attempt to seduce.

How To Use it: Remove clothing when you want others to see that you are ready for action. This is potent in business where removing a jacket signals that it’s time to get some real work done. While negotiating, the same signal is sent – that we’re getting serious about the task at hand. Removing clothing can also be used to tell others that they need to relax and settle in for the long haul. When bargaining, this tells them that they should present the most attractive offer first, or risk a long negotiation.

Removing clothing such as a jacket upon arrive at a persons house tells them that one isn’t ready to leave and that one feels welcome. Thus, removing clothing is paid as a compliment.

In dating, removing outer clothing is a similar comfort indicator. Therefore, women can tell their dates that they are “warming up” to them and feel relaxed enough to expose more of their body. The more skin that is exposed; the stronger the sexual implication. Women can boost the signal’s strength and arouse men further by removing clothing while making direct eye contact. This serves to indicate metaphorical stripping as eye contact anchors the signal to a specific person – “I’m undressing for you.”

Context: a) General b) Business c) Dating.

Verbal Translation: a) “I’m getting more comfortable because I feel at ease and relaxed so I’m removing some of my clothing” or “I’m hot so I’m removing some of my clothing.” b) “It’s time to get down to business, let’s take our coats off and rolls up our sleeves and get the job done.” c) “I’m interested in you sexually, so I’m going to take off my overcoat and expose my skin to try to get you worked up.”

Variant: See Rolled Up Sleeves.

Cue In Action: a) She made her way into her friend’s house. First she removed her shoes and jacket. By the end of the night she was minus her hooded shirt and socks. She really made herself at home. b) The boss was serious. He removed his jacket, put his hands palm down on the desk and spoke firmly, “There would be no more goofing around on company time.” c) She excused herself to the washroom. When she returned, her blouse was unbuttoned revealing cleavage. She intended to peak his sexual curiousity.

Meaning and/or Motivation: The nonverbal message that removing clothing entails is mixed and highly dependent on the context.

Men will almost always remove clothing to get more comfortable, but may also remove a shirt to arouse. The reaction that removing a shirt has when a man reveals a muscular physique is no different then when a woman reveals her sexual assets by removing clothing.

Removing clothing can deliver a sexual message in a romantic situation, getting down to business at work, or comfort when done amongst friends. In a dating context, removing a heavy shirt or jacket to be more comfortable, or loosening buttons from a shirt, or even removing shoes or dangling the shoes from the toe, all show comfort at worst, and interest at best.

This cue therefore, must be read in context with adjoining cues.

Cue Cluster: a) and b) In a general and business context, removing clothing will be almost entirely dependent on the context but can also be confused with c) dating. Therefore, watch for additional sexual cues of interest to determine if the cue is sexual in nature. In women, one might watch for strong eye contact, head lowered or tilted to the side, batting eyes, wrist and neck exposure, touching, lip licking, proximity and so forth. Men might pull a shirt off around the pool and pull their shoulders back to showcase them, hold their chin up and hold strong eye contact. They may smirk.

Body Language Category: Adaptors, Amplifier, Comfort body language, Courtship display, Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Relaxed body language.

Resources:

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Amplifier, Auto contact or self touching, Boredom body language, Courtship display, Displacement behaviour, Embarrassment (nonverbal), Emotional body language, Idiosyncratic body language, Indicator Of Sexual Interest (IOsI), Low confidence body language, Oral displacement activities, Pacifying body language, Pensive displays, Pseudo-infantile gestures, Security blankets, Shy nonverbal, Worry body language

Body Language of Suckling

by Chris • October 28, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Suckling

Cue: Suckling.

Synonym(s): Mouthing An Object, Chewing On A Pen, Pen Sucking, Sucking On A Pen (or other), Oral Fixation.

Description: When any object including pens or fingers are brought to the lips and chewed or sucked on.

In One Sentence: Suckling indicates a need for self-soothing due to negative feelings.

How To Use it: While suckling can help produce comfort, it is not considered a cue that should be used in full view of others as it is unlikely to produce a desirable impression.

Context: a) General. b) Dating.

Verbal Translation: “I’m in need of an oral fixation to calm my nerves so I’m suckling – on my finger or pen, as I did when I was a baby.”

Variant: See Hand to Mouth, Lip Chewing or Chewing The Lips, Hair Play, Nail Biting.

Cue In Action: a) Debbie was a shy, timid person, she kept her gaze low, easily blushed, and was quiet around strangers. This was especially so when put on the spot or questioned. At her desk, she habitually mouthed pens, paper clips, or chewed on her fingers. a) During the exam, the student mouthed her pen as she suffered through a question she wasn’t familiar with. b) Debbie was thinking about Mark and subconsciously tapped the end of her pen against her lower lip. The pen was a phallic replacement.

Meaning and/or Motivation: The mouth and lips are full of nerve endings which, when stimulated, provides tactile gratification and comfort. However, anytime the fingers go to the mouth such as playing with the side of the mouth or lip, it’s a retrogressive action indicating insecurity. These types of gestures are called “pacifying behaviours” because they are designed to reduce anxiety when someone is exposed to something distressing. Pacifying language tells us that the mind is not at ease, and it is attempting to restore the body’ natural state.

Suckling body language essentially turns us back into babies or at least indicates to others our need for self-soothing due to emotional stress.

Adults that are tense or anxious will play with their mouth or lip. Mouthing a pen, cigarette, hair, and even a piece of gum during emotional distress are substitutes for the mother’s breast. They remind us of early childhood mouthing. Sucking, like plucking, picking or chewing the lips or rubbing them with a finger or thumb are all forms of auto touching. Confident individuals would never consider using these types of security blankets.

Alternatively, an object to the mouth can represent a phallic purpose. Subconscious controls can lead one to bring an object to the mouth during sexual thoughts. The pen for example, can be a substitute for a penis during arousal.

Cue Cluster: Watch for other negative emotional cues such as pinching the skin, scratching, smoothing clothing, eye aversion, head lowered, blushing, trembling, attempt to exit (escape movements), ventral denial, turning the body away, sweating and so forth.

Body Language Category: Amplifier, Auto contact or self touching, Boredom body language, Courtship displays, Displacement behaviour, Embarrassment (nonverbal), Emotional body language, Idiosyncratic body language, Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Low confidence body language, Oral displacement activities, Pensive displays, Pseudo-infantile gestures, Pacifying body language, Security blankets, Shy nonberbal, Worry body language.

Resources:

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Aggressive body language, Amplifier, Body pointing, Comfort body language, Courtship display, Hostile body language, Liking, Seated body pointing, Threat displays, Tie signals

Body Language of Standing Square

by Chris • October 28, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Standing Square

Cue: Standing Square.

Synonym(s): Face-To-Face Standing Position, Head-On Standing Position, Competitive Head-To-Head Standing Position.

Description: When people who are speaking to each other stand or sit facing each other directly head-on.

In One Sentence: Standing square or face-to-face signals direct competition or high intimacy.

How To Use it: Stand square when you are prepared to be isolated from other people while being totally engrossed in the person who compliments your position.

This works well in dating to create intimacy, but also in battle when one squares off against an opponent. Men should avoid standing square with women unless they believe that romance is probable. In most cases, it is best to permit the women to show signs that a squared off stance is permitted. A man may chance a squared posture to see how a woman reacts. This will give him an idea about his current relationship status.

In confrontation, standing square is the highest order of aggression. It pits one person directly against another. Therefore, save this stance for when you feel that you can win the argument and you will not have to make a quick escape.

Context: a) General b) Business c) Dating.

Verbal Translation: a) “I’m sitting facing you head-to-head because we are in direct competition.” b) “We’re at odds with one another at opposing ends of the spectrum which is why we are facing off against one another.” c) “We are in love and stare blissfully into each others eyes.”

Variant: Standing At Forty-Five Degrees or Casual Corner Sitting Position, Angular Distance.

Cue In Action: a) Dave approached Mark directly, got right in his face and told him in no uncertain terms, “Don’t go near my girlfriend again.” b) The law firms were squared off, one team on the left, and the other team on the right.” c) The lovers looked each other deeply in the eyes before kissing.

Meaning and/or Motivation: It is either a confrontational orientation similar to those nearing, or in physical conflict or an intimate sitting and standing posture. Most people would state that standing square, face-to-face was the most honest and trustworthy position people orient themselves in while speaking with someone, but they would only be half right. In fact, most Americans stand at forty-five degrees or at oblique angles to one another.

Facing someone dead on, is how boxers square off to one another in the pre-show weigh-in or when two men near physical contact at a bar. The head on orientation is reserved for confrontation with just one exception; that is when two people are really comfortable with each other and are intimate.

Legal television dramas popularize this head-to-head seating position. Here each party faces directly across from the other person usually with their allies to their left and right solidifying their flanks. Another word for this position is the “closed” seating arrangement because it isolates people with the use of the desk. In the “open” arrangement a desk is pushed up against a wall and presents no barrier to visitors since they can access every part of a person when meeting with them. Closed positions convey formality, distance and authority, defensiveness and even divisiveness whereas open orientations convey interest and comfort.

Obviously this position should be avoided when cooperation and affiliation formation is desired as it has the reverse effect. The head-to-head position, when it is not expected, creates hostility and shows indifference.

When orienting at oblique angles it sends the message that we aren’t trying to corner each other. However, when we do sit or stand face-to-face it’s a demonstration of extreme comfort and trust. Other cultures don’t feel this way. Arabic cultures, for example, will speak with one another with their faces nearly touching and this often happens during normal conversation. Women in American cultures tolerate such closeness only from another woman. Men who do this to women will be perceived as sexually interested and be seen to be making a sexual come-on. If not welcomed, closeness will be a threat and turn-off, and in an office situation, should definitely be avoided.

Cue Cluster: Many times, the cue defines the context. For example, sitting head-on when sitting side-by-side is perfectly possible, tells the other group that we wish not to be cooperative. We might look to other cues and verbal dialogue to measure level of desire to cooperate or be competitive.

Body Language Category: Amplifier, Aggressive body language, Body pointing, Comfort body language, Courtship display, Hostile body language, Liking, Seated body pointing, Threat displays, Tie signals.

Resources:

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Arrogance or arrogant body language, Authoritative body language, Confident body language, Courtship display, Dominant body language, Expansive movements, High confidence body language, Leadership body language, Open body language, Territorial displays

Body Language of Splaying The Body or Taking Up Space

by Chris • October 28, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Splaying The Body or Taking Up Space

Cue: Splaying The Body or Taking Up More Space.

Synonym(s): Taking Up Space, Throwing The Arm Over The Chair, Expansive Body Language, Spreading The Body Out, Arm Spread Out Over The Chair.

Description: Splaying occurs when the arms or legs are spread apart. Usually the arm will find itself over the chair next to the one being sat in.

In One Sentence: Body splaying or expansive body language is one of the main and ubiquitous indicators of dominance.

How To Use it: Whenever you wish that others perceive you as dominant, use body expansion. This can be used in any context, but is particularly effective when leadership is requires such as in business and for men, in dating.

As you take on expansive postures, be conscious of how they make you feel. Should you feel awkward and over-exposed, it is likely that you are doing the posture correctly, but that you aren’t socially and psychologically prepared to deal with the emotions that come inherent with the posture. This will tell you that you’re faking dominance, but if you can stifle the emotion, you’re likely to gain the respect and leadership qualities you desire. In time, it has been said that you can fake nonverbal signals until you “make it.” Your results may vary, but certainly, taking on expansive postures, while working on the emotional repercussions is a proactive way of self-improvement. Be careful however, as dominance postures often invite dominance challenges. Be prepared.

Context: a) General b) Dating.

Verbal Translation: “I’m a dominant individual, be aware of my large presence and give me the space and respect I deserve.”

Variant: See Broadside Display or Chest Protrusion.

Cue In Action: a) The boss sat casually at the table with a figure four leg cross coupled with his arms over the back of the table next to him. b) He was a player and consciously sat splayed out with his legs open and his arm on the chair next to him. Presumably, he figured that it made him look more relaxed and in control.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Taking up space is part of dominant body language because it leaves the vital areas of the body open for attack. It also indicates high confidence. In the wrong context, it can show disrespect due to indifference. This is especially the case when around people who are even more dominant than the person doing the splaying.

Having the arms spread wide while on a sofa and the legs apart gives the impression that a person is relaxed and also larger than they actually are. A person might puff out the chest, place the hands on the hips and lean back. Many animals display similarly and nearly without exception; splaying or expansive movements are a signal to others to beware.

Cue Cluster: Usually, the leg is crossed in a figure four or European Leg Cross depending on the person and his status. Other times, the legs are spread wide open for a more dominant seated position. The head is usually held high, the face is relaxed and conversation is kept to that which is necessary.

Body Language Category: Arrogance or arrogant body language, Authoritative body language, Courtship display, Confident body language, Dominant body language, Expansive movements, High confidence body language, Leadership body language, Open body language, Territorial displays.

Resources:

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Amplifier, Appease, Courtship display, Fearful body language, Indicator Of Sexual Interest (IOsI), Nonthreatening body language, Readiness to submit postures, Stressful body language, Submissive body language

Body Language of Smiling

by Chris • October 28, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Smiling

Cue: Smiling.

Synonym(s): N/A

Description: The lips are stretched toward the ears and curled upwards in a u-shape.

In One Sentence: Smiling is a sign of submission and happiness.

How To Use it: Various smiles create various impressions in others. A smile should suit the context as well as your desired end goal. See Variant for the types of smiles and their associated use. However, understand that generally speaking, the smile is a universally signal of submission and appeasement.

Context: a) General b) Dating.

Verbal Translation: “I’m stretching my lips out and upward in a u-shape because I’m happy, fearful, or stressed.”

Variant: See Smiling, Fear Smile, Friendly Smile, Frown (the) or Downturned Smile, Honest Smile or Duchenne Smile, Jaw Drop Smile, Nervous Smile, Polite Smile (the), Uneven Smile Or Lopsided Smile, Upper Lip Smile, Artificial Smile or Fake Smile, Nervous Smile, Honest Smile or Duchenne Smile, Contempt Facial Expression.

Cue In Action: a) Two strangers passed on the street, smile at each other to show that they acknowledge each other, and continued on their way. b) She had a big grin on her face each time she saw her new boyfriend. He made her feel special.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Many biologists think smiles have roots as a fearful gesture, as a sort of “fear grin.” Today though, human smiles are a universally submissive gesture but they can also symbolize pleasure, amusement, aggression, or anxiety (grimace). These other emotions never truly supersede the most common purpose of the smile, which is to show submission.

Smiles are controlled by two sets of muscles: the zygomatic major muscles, that run down the side of the face to connect to the corners of the mouth and the orbicularis oculi muscles that pull the eyes back.

Smiles are our way we to show that we are non-threatening and wish to maintain peace. Those that lack smiles altogether or who smile infrequently are much more dominant and want to be seen as such. Today smiles usually indicate happiness, but they can also be present during fear and stress.

Smiling frequently can sometimes be sexual, but accompanying signals, coupled with the proper context, must be assessed to create certainty. Women will smile for a great variety of reasons and will smile regularly to appease men for no other reason besides habit. Smiling is a natural part of being a woman and while smiling alone is submissive, it doesn’t necessarily indicate sexual interest. Accompanying signals must adjoin smiling for it to be a true sexual signal. However, smiles due tend to appear most from happiness, and as a result of genuine feelings of optimism. They also indicate confidence and hopefulness. Smiling has also even been shown to be infectious.

Cue Cluster: a) Smiling can be a stand-alone signal of appeasement or submission i.e. that a person is no threat which requires no additional cues. b) If smiling is done over a shoulder, with pouting lips and partly closed eyes, as in the sideways glance, it should be taken as a sexual cue, but absent, should be construed only as a regular appeasement gesture and nothing more.

Body Language Category: Amplifier, Appease, Courtship displays, Fearful body language, Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Nonthreatening body language, Readiness to submit postures, Stressful body language, Submissive body language.

Resources:

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Frank, M. G., & Ekman, P. (1993). Not all smiles are created equal: The differences between enjoyment and nonenjoyment smiles. Humor: International Journal of Humor Research, 6, 9–26.

Frank, M. G., Ekman, P., & Friesen, W. V. (1993). Behavioral markers and recognizability of the smile of enjoyment. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 64, 83–93.

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*No Photo, Auto contact or self touching, Autoerotic touching, Courtship display, Indicator Of Sexual Interest (IOsI), Stroking body language, Tie signals

Body Language of Slow Stroking Of Upper Thigh

by Chris • October 28, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Slow Stroking Of Upper Thigh

Cue: Slow Stroking Of Upper Thigh.

Synonym(s): Rubbing The Hands Slowly On Upper Thigh, Upper Thigh Stroke, Thigh Stroking, Rubbing Thighs, Massaging Thighs Slowly.

Description: The hands are slowly rubbed up and down across the top of the thighs.

In One Sentence: Rubbing the upper thigh usually signals a desire to be touched in this way or that one is rubbing the sweat from the palms.

How To Use it: Women can use this gesture to signal to men that they wish to escalate sexual intimacy. Stroking the upper thing in a skirt while making eye contact with a man, will tell him that you are aroused and wish for him to make the next move.

Context: Dating.

Verbal Translation: “I’m sexually aroused causing me to act out some of the touching I would like to experience by the hands of another.”

Variant: Women often replicate the types of touching they would like to receive. The cliché act is quite common in adult films when no male actor is present or when she tries to seduce one, or the camera. She seductively touches and strokes her own body in effort to arouse the viewer. Men are programmed to find this alluring. As they touch, women are readying the body to be touched and at the same time providing an outlet that reduces their desire to act outwardly and instead illicit male pursuit instead. Self-touching releases positive hormones in the body that produce a calming effect. See Self-Stroking or Auto Contact, Leg Cleansing or Leg Pacifying Behaviour.

Cue In Action: While making eye contact, licking her lips frequently, she seductively stroked her thighs as she was speaking to a guy at the bar.

Meaning and/or Motivation: It is common for women to perform self-touching when aroused. Self-touch is usually a signal that touching from another person is welcome but it must be accompanied by other sexual signals. Eye contact is one of the most important signals because it serves to anchor the signal to a specific person. If eye contact is absent, then the cue may simple be a broadcast signal to the room at large due to her ovulation cycle, or her level of receptivity.

When a woman rubs her thighs she is simulating the type of touching she’d like to receive and this is part of the purpose. She can produce a pacifying effect to help calm her desires, but also to draw attention to her features, her thighs, and subconsciously suggest to her desired partner what course of action she would prefer.

Men who are aware of the courtship gesture should be sure that the legs are not being stroked simply because she is performing a “leg cleansing” where she is wiping sweat from her palms or trying to gain comfort through self soothing due to nervousness. Although, at times, nervousness and courtship are intertwined.

Cue Cluster: Watch for eye contact, head down with eyes cast upward, frequent lip licking, wrist and neck exposure, exposing the inner thigh, self-stroking (other areas of the body), legs uncrossed and re-crossed, and so forth.

Body Language Category: Auto contact or self-touching, Autoerotic touching, Courtship display, Stroking body language, Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Tie signals.

Resources:

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Amplifier, Courtship display, Indicator Of Sexual Interest (IOsI), Intention movements, Leaked or involuntary body language, Microgestures, Tie signals

Body Language of Skirt Hike

by Chris • October 28, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Skirt Hike

Cue: Skirt Hike.

Synonym(s): Hiking The Skirt, Pulling Up The Skirt, Lifting The Skirt.

Description: The “skirt hike” happens by fingering and playing with the bottom ridge of the skirt. Other times, the skirt hike happens in a more pronounced way by grabbing the bottom of the skirt and pulling it up slightly to reveal more leg.

In One Sentence: The skirt hike is a subconscious nonverbal cue signaling sexual interest.

How To Use it: Women can use the skirt hike to tantalize potential male suitors. Normally this cue happens subconsciously as a woman plays with the material at the bottom of her short skirt. She may also slightly raise it. However, this can be done on purpose as well. Raising the skirt to show a little more leg while making eye contact should be enough to arouse the curiosity of men of interest. The cue is potent while standing, but it can also be done while sitting. If you see that an undesirable man notices the cues, simply shove the skirt back down while avoiding eye contact.

Context: Dating.

Verbal Translation: “This skirt is really getting in the way of my attractiveness, and way too long to attract the attention of the boys, so I’m going to pull it up a little bit and see who notices. Hopefully someone cute or else I’m going to push it back down in a hurry.”

Variant: See Symbolic Stripping or Removing Clothing.

Cue In Action: a) Newly single, Debbie was with her friends casually enjoying a drink at the bar. One hand clasping her drink, the other dangled loosely to her side while fiddling with the bottom of her skirt. Just then, she noticed a sweaty, awkward man, staring at her. She quickly brought her hand up, grabbed her straw, turned her back toward him and huddled in with her friends. b) Later in the evening Debbie had met a man named Dave. She and he had been carrying on for some time. Dave, an expert on body language, noticed that she was casually playing with the riffled edge of her skirt and would pull it up a bit at a time and then drop it and smooth it back down. He took this as a strong message of coy interest and availability.

Meaning and/or Motivation: The skirt hike is an interesting body language cue because it happens completely subconsciously with usually no awareness at all. It is so subtle though that only those looking specifically for it will actually see it. This motion is usually done toward a man of interest and followed by eye contact, but other times, happens as advertisement of the woman’s availability, generally – an open for business sign, so to speak. If she catches someone else notice this gesture that she isn’t interested in, however, she will quickly force the skirt back down and break eye contact.

Cue Cluster: It is possible that the skirt hike cue happen independent of other cues as a general broadcast signal directed to the room. It may also be anchored to a specific person through eye contact coupled with submissive cues such as eyes cast downward, batting eyelashes, laughing and giggling, touching the hand, forearm or other areas, head lowered or bowed, neck titled to the side, smiling, grooming either the self or person of interest, playing with the hair or hair tossing, and so forth.

Body Language Category: Amplifier, Courtship display, Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Intention movements, Leaked or involuntary body language, Microgestures, Tie signals.