Category: Intimate touching

*No Photo, Aggressive body language, Dominant body language, Excited body language, Intimate touching, Power play, Social touching, Space invasion

Body Language of Wrench Forward Handshake

by Chris • October 30, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Wrench Forward Handshake

Cue: Wrench Forward Handshake

Synonym(s): N/A

Description: Unlike the thrust forward handshake, the wrench forward handshaker will pull people into their personal space. It happens during a normal handshake except that a person pulls sharply toward them. This puts the other person off balance, forcing them to fall inward.

In One Sentence: The wrench forward handshake signals that a person wants to pull another in closer so they can control them.

How To Use it: Use the wrench forward handshake to show that you are not prepared to let someone out of your sight. Tell them you are keeping a close eye on them by pulling them into your personal space. This body language serves as a fair warning that insubordination will not be tolerated.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I like you so much that I’m going to pull you into my personal space so we can be more intimate, besides if you stay close I can keep a better eye on you and control you better.”

Variant: See Country Handshake (The), Cold Dead Wet Fish Handshake, Double Gripper Politician Handshake or Double Hander (The), Short Grabber/Finger Grabber Handshake, Oddball Handshake, Palm Up, Palm Down and Palm Even Handshakes, Stiff Arm And Thrust Forward Handshake, Death Grip Handshake, Wrench Forward Handshake, Undershaker Handshake, Wrist Hold Handshake, Wrist Hold Handshake and Upper Arm Grip Handshake, Limp Fish Handshake, Teacup Handshake, Arm Twister Handshake (The), Firm handshake, Fist Bumping.

Cue In Action: Bob liked Doug very much, but the sentiment was not reciprocal. When they shook hands, Doug reached out and away from his body, but as soon as Bob got a good grip, he pulled him and close almost making him fall. Doug laughed it off, but made a note to avoid shaking hands with him next time if possible.

Meaning and/or Motivation: This is done by people who require less personal space than normal.

People who shakes hands in this way are also trying to control the other person by moving them into their personal space against their will. They feel that they can influence them more efficiently by making them uncomfortable. They are also setting the other person off balance making them unable to properly respond.

Another variation exists where someone might pull you forward toward a chair, or move you to the side of the room as desired. Someone that shakes hands like this is trying to set the tone for the relationship by controlling where you move next. Obviously, this is a sign that they want to dominate you.

Cue Cluster: The wrench forward handshaker will usually find other ways to control through intimacy such as getting closer and invading personal space, touching the back arms or hands while talking and so forth.

Body Language Category: Aggressive body language, Dominant body language, Excited body language, Intimate touching, Power play, Space invasion, Social touching.

Resources:

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Chaplin William F.; Phillips Jeffrey B; Brown Jonathan D.; Clanton Nancy R.; Stein Jennifer L.; 2000. Handshaking, gender, personality, and first impressions Journal of personality and social psychology. 79(1): 110-117.

Dolphin, Carol Zinner. Beyond hall: Variables in the use of personal space in intercultural transactions. Howard Journal of Communications. 1988. 1(1): 23-38.

Dolcos, Sanda ; Sung, Keen ; Argo, Jennifer J ; Flor-Henry, Sophie ; Dolcos, Florin. The power of a handshake: neural correlates of evaluative judgments in observed social interactions. Journal of cognitive neuroscience. 2012 24(12): 2292-305.

Frumin, Idan; Ofer Perl; Yaara Endevelt-Shapira; Ami Eisen; Neetai Eshel; Iris Heller; Maya Shemesh; Aharon Ravia; Lee Sela; Anat Arzi and Noam Sobel. A Social Chemosignaling Function for Human Handshaking. eLife 2015. 4:e05154
DOI: http://dx.doi.org/10.7554/eLife.05154.
http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/shake-hands-share-human-scent-curious-case-hand-sniffing-body-language/

Fisher, J; Rytting, M and Heslin, R. 1976. Hands touching hands: affective and evaluative effects on interpersonal touch, Sociometry 39: 416–421.

Felipe, N. Interpersonal distance and small group interaction. Cornell Journal of Social Relations, 1966, 1, 59-64.

Gardin, Hershel ; Kaplan, Kalman J. ; Firestone, Ira J. ; Cowan, Gloria A. Lanzetta, John T. (editor). Proxemic effects on cooperation, attitude, and approach-avoidance in a Prisoner’s Dilemma game. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 1973. 27(1): 13-18.

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Graziano, Michael S.A. and Cooke, Dylan F. Parieto-frontal interactions, personal space, and defensive behavior. Neuropsychologia. 2006. 44(6): 845-859.

Gueguen, Nicolas. Handshaking and Compliance With a Request – A Door-to-door Setting. Social Behavior and Personality. 2013. 41(10): 1585-1588.
http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/handshakes-lead-compliance-study/

Greenbaum, Paul ; Rosenfeld, Howard. Varieties of touching in greetings: Sequential structure and sex-related differences. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior. 1980. 5(1): 13-25.

Holt, Daphne J ; Cassidy, Brittany S ; Yue, Xiaomin ; Rauch, Scott L ; Boeke, Emily A ; Nasr, Shahin ; Tootell, Roger B H ; Coombs, Garth. Neural correlates of personal space intrusion. The Journal of neuroscience : the official journal of the Society for Neuroscience. 2014. 34(12): 4123-34.

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Authoritative body language, Courtship display, Indicator Of Sexual Interest (IOsI), Intimate touching, Liking, Power play, Tie signals

Body Language of Touching or Increase In Touching

by Chris • October 29, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Touching or Increase In Touching

Cue: Touching or Increase In Touching.

Synonym(s): Increase In Touching, Placing Your Hands On Another, Intentional Touching, Brushing Up Against Someone Intentionally, Touching Intentionally, Touching On Purpose.

Description: Touching between people that suddenly increases, or simply when touching occurs between people.

In One Sentence: Touching or increased touching indicates the desire to create a bond or affiliation in order to receive something, be it material or emotional in nature.

How To Use it: Touch is well researched and has been found to be highly influential when done. Researcher has found that touching can help boost tips, increase the chances of compliance, as well as increase the chances of receiving help. Touching also creates intimacy in relationships from friendships to romantic partners. You should also use touch when you want to strengthen bonds or offer comfort.

Be careful to use touch in appropriate ways. As a general rule, touches further away from the core of the body are more acceptable. For example, touching the forearm or upper arm is more acceptable than touching the torso or small of the back, but in the right circumstances with the right people, this may be acceptable. Touching more intimate such as the breast, buttocks, and genital areas are obviously reserved for sexual relationships. However, in these relationships, can produce high intimacy, though also require a high amount of trust.

A slight touching of a stranger on the upper arm has a very powerful effect on cooperation. The effects of touch have been widely studied. The influence it has on behaviour and requests are conclusive, touching really can help you get what you want from others.

Nonreciprocal touching can serve as a power play between men. For example, in a bar setting, the man who is most at liberty to touch other men will be seen as most dominant, especially if he is not touched in response. This can also work in business where the boss wishes to keep his employees under his leadership.

Context: a) General b) Dating.

Verbal Translation: a) “I’m touching you because I want something from you, want to strengthen our bond, or am sexually interested in you.” a) I’m touching you because I want to comfort you.” b) “I’m touching you because I own you and can do whatever I want.” b) “I’m touching you because I’m sexually interested in you.”

Variant: See Accidental Touching, Head Touch (by others), Touch Reduction.

Cue In Action: a) The boss habitually bumped lightly against the junior manager with a bump of his fist. The gentle tap helped form a bond with him and showed him that they are in agreement and on the right track together.

a) The waitress lightly rubbed her breast up against the patron when reaching for the empty glasses across the table. She had used this technique previously to boost her tips.

b) She lightly brushed off his lapel, as if there was some lint present, then gave him a shoulder massage. Her intensions were becoming obvious to him.

b) She placed her hand over his chest and half hugged him – half rested her head on his shoulder. She did so while making eye contact with the new girl. It was a strong message of ownership.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Territoriality is a big part of the human repertoire. We rarely think about ownership of people, but placing an arm over someone, playfully messing up their hair or guiding them to where we want them to go by placing a hand on their back, as a parent would his child, are just a few ways that we show others that we own and control them.

Touching or an increase in touching likely means that a person is trying to strengthen an affiliation in order to receive something, usually a favour, or create an alliance of some kind. Touching can be a way to offer support and comfort to someone when they are sad or grieving. A mother offering care to her child when they are scared or hurt will often use touch. Alternatively, touching indicates sexual interest in a dating context.

Studies show that touching between men, especially in the workplace, is usually related to power plays and social jostling. An employer will place his hand on the shoulder or back of an employee to reaffirm his status while offering encouragement. Such displays are inappropriate in reverse and wouldn’t usually be tolerated.

Touching between men and women often defines sexual interest. When women touch each other, it is often done out of friendship or to extend sympathy or formulate bonds. When men touch, it signals friendship, but when it is done unilaterally, it signals dominance. Family members also use touching such as hugs and kisses to display affection. The level of touching that people are willing to accept is different from person-to-person. Touch comfort is also highly cultural.

Cue Cluster: Touching has meaning by itself due to its required level of commitment. However, we should also watch for increased proximity and sexual cues to decide how strong the affiliation is intended. The more cues in cluster the stronger the desire to control another person or access them sexually.

Body Language Category: Authoritative body language, Courtship display, Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Intimate touching, Liking, Power play, Tie signals.

Resources:

Argo, J. J., Dahl, D. W., & Morales, A. C. (2006). Consumer contamination: How consumers react to products touched by others. Journal of Marketing, 70(April), 81–94.

Aranguren, Martin. “Nonverbal interaction patterns in the Delhi Metro: interrogative looks and play-faces in the management of interpersonal distance.” Interaction Studies. 2016. 16(1) forthcoming.

Aranguren, Martin and Stephane Tonnelat. Emotional Transactions in the Paris Subway: Combining Naturalistic Videotaping, Objective Facial Coding and Sequential Analysis in the Study of Nonverbal Emotional Behavior. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior. 2014. 38:495–521. DOI 10.1007/s10919-014-0193-1
http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/seriously-stop-touching-use-nonverbal-signaling-manage-unwanted-touching-busy-public

Bailenson, J.N. & Yee, N. (in press). Virtual interpersonal touch: Haptic interaction and copresence in collaborative virtual environments. International Journal of Multimedia Tools and Applications.

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Crusco, A. and C. Wetzel. 1984. The midas touch: the effects of interpersonal touch on restaurant tipping, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 10: 512–517.

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Derlega, Valerian J. ; Catanzaro, Diane ; Lewis, Robin J. Lisak, David (editor). Perceptions About Tactile Intimacy in Same-Sex and Opposite-Sex Pairs Based on Research Participants’ Sexual Orientation. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 2001, Vol.2(2), pp.124-132

Fisher, J; Rytting, M and Heslin, R. 1976. Hands touching hands: affective and evaluative effects on interpersonal touch, Sociometry 39: 416–421.

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Guéguen, Nicolas. Nonverbal encouragement of participation in a course: the effect of touching Social Psychology of Education. 2004. 7: 89–98.
http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/a-touching-way-to-encourage/

Gueguen, Nicolas; Sebastien Meineri and Virginie Charles-Sire. Improving Medication Adherence by Using Practitioner Nonverbal Techniques: A Field Experiment on the Effect of Touch. Journal of Behavioral Medice. 2010. 33:466–473
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http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/touching-boosts-compliance-improving-medical-compliance-using-nonverbal-communication/

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http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/whats-in-a-nonverbal-object-caress/

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*No Photo, Courtship display, Indicator Of Sexual Interest (IOsI), Intimate touching, Tie signals

Body Language of The Hip Embrace

by Chris • October 23, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of The Hip Embrace

Cue: Hip Embrace

Synonym(s): N/A

Description: Happens when young lovers walk with arms around the hips of the other forcing their bodies snugly side-by-side.

In One Sentence: When hips touch during a hug it signals romantic interest.

How To Use it: Men and women can use the hip embrace to test the level of intimacy that is tolerated between them. A hug at the end of a date can help the couple gauge the level of interest present. If hips press tightly together, high intimacy is present, but if a large gap is maintained with hips thrust away from one another, then there is an overall lack of intimacy.

Context: Dating.

Verbal Translation: “I like you and I want to snuggle up against you while walking.”

Variant: Handholding and Arm Over The Shoulder are two intimate variants.

Cue In Action: The two young lovers hugged each others hips as they made their way across the park.

Meaning and/or Motivation: It is a moderate display of intimacy similar to the shoulder embrace and hand holding. It is more intimate than a shoulder embrace or putting the arm over the shoulder, but not as intimate as kissing, a hip-to-hip or face-to-face hug.

Cue Cluster: Watch for other courtship gestures and postures.

Body Language Category: Courtship displays, Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Intimate touching, Tie signals.

Resources:

Bowlby, J. (1979). The making and breaking of affectional bonds. British Journal of Psychiatry, 130, 201 -210, 42 1-43 1 .

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*No Photo, Friendship touching or friendly touching, Intimate touching, Open body language, Ownership gesture, Rapport or rapport building, Readiness to submit postures, Submissive body language

Body Language of The Head Touch (by others)

by Chris • October 23, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of The Head Touch (by others)

Cue: Head Touch (by others)

Synonym(s): Touching Someone’s Head, Hair Ruffle, Kissing The Head.

Description: When one person touches the head of another person.

In One Sentence: Touching the head of another is a sign of dominance.

How To Use it: Touch the head of others when you believe that you have a strong bond with them and want to maintain or solidify this relationship. Never touch the head of a person you feel does not trust you as this will produce suspicion or even contempt. Intimate couples can, and should, freely touch each other and part of this involves touching and stroking areas of the face and head. A dad can playfully ruffle his son’s hair to show that they are bonded together. It is also an expression of the father’s dominance over the son.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I am more dominant than you permitting me to touch your vulnerable head. You heed my dominance and are willing to trust that I will not harm you.”

Variant: The hair might be ruffled, the head patted, or the head kissed. See Guiding Body Language.

Cue In Action: a) After returning form work, he found his son playing quietly with a video game. He snuck up behind and kissed him on the head and ruffled his hair to show his affection. b) The Pope made the sign of the cross on her forehead. c) After a long day at work, he massaged her head to show affection. d) After scoring a goal, the hockey players patted each other on top of their head.

Meaning and/or Motivation: The head is a very personal and vulnerable area of the body. Allowing others to touch the head is reserved for close relatives and intimate partners. Thus, head touching is a sign of a deep bond and trust between two people.

A Dad might ruffle his son’s hair or a wife might massage her husbands head to demonstrate affection. Kissing the head is a way a mom shows her daughter that she cares and is willing to protect her.

A subordinate employee would never touch the head of his boss but leaders of religious organizations will frequently touch the heads of their congregation.

Cue Cluster: The head touch is a cue that does not require additional cues for support.

Body Language Category: Friendship touching or friendly touching, Intimate touching, Open body language, Ownership gesture, Rapport or rapport building, Readiness to submit postures, Submissive body language.