Category: Undivided attention (nonverbal)

Adaptors, Amplifier, Barriers, Blocking or Shielding, Body cross, Body pointing, Closed body language, Defensive body language, Idiosyncratic body language, Indicator of interest (IoI), Intention movements, Undivided attention (nonverbal)

Body Language of Leg Crossing and Leg Crossing Direction

by Chris • October 23, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Leg Crossing and Leg Crossing Direction

Cue: Leg Crossing and Leg Crossing Direction.

Synonym(s): Crossing The Legs, Thigh-Thigh Cross.

Description: A proper sitting posture where one leg crosses over the knee of the other leg.

In One Sentence: Leg crossing is a closed body posture demonstrating the desire to protect privacy.

How To Use it: Women should make it a habit to cross the legs regardless of the type of attire they wear, but especially so if they are wearing short skirts or dresses or are trying to appear feminine. Our current culture affords women the liberty to comport themselves however they see fit, however, this does speak directly toward our values. In other words, if women wish to be perceived as “lady-like” and feminine, rather than masculine (the current default), crossing the legs is an apt nonverbal display.

Men also benefit from crossing the legs, much like women. When men cross their legs rather than splay them open, they appear more proper and sophisticated, not to mention respectful.

As always, one must use body language to create the results that are most desired.

Context: a) General, b) Dating.

Verbal Translation: “I’m somewhat reserved so I’m closing off my body and aiming my legs toward someone I like or away from someone I dislike.”

Variant: Sometimes people are not physically able or comfortable crossing their legs in more than one direction or crossing them at all. If a person habitually crosses their legs in one direction, their tendons and muscles will stretch and conform to suite that direction best. This then inhibits them from crossing in another direction because they feel less comfortable doing so. Therefore, we should be careful to watch for adjoining cues, the context, and a person’s baseline before drawing definitive causal conclusions with respect to leg cross direction.

See European Leg Cross and Figure Four Seating Position (The) or The Ankle-Knee Cross and Leg Twine.

Cue In Action: a) While the two girls chatted, each had their legs crossed toward each other as if cutting out all others from the conversation. b) Dave and his new girlfriend sat chatting on the sofa when a younger more attractive girl sat down next to Dave. Subconsciously Dave began to lean toward her, shifted his body over and even crossed his legs in her direction rather than toward his girlfriend.

Meaning and/or Motivation: The legs crossed toward something or someone indicates attraction in that direction. In other words, the legs are propelled in the direction in which we think. Couples that have a strong relationship will usually cross their legs toward each other. Enemies will usually cross away, context permitting of course. Lovers sitting on a couch together with their legs crossed toward each other, bodies leaning inward, with their arms meeting over the back of the couch are said to be in a “loving circle.”

Be cautious about reading the meaning of leg cross with respect to direction as there is no solid evidence that people habitually cross their legs toward or away from people they like and don’t like respectively.

Having the legs crossed is often a signal of a closed attitude as the leg crosses over the mid-point of the body. Compare legs crossed to having the legs opened or legs cross in the figure four posture. Legs open is more open and more dominant. However, women who wear skirts should cross their legs so as not to appear overtly sexual.

Leg crossing is often motivated by the desire to increase comfort and therefore simply a natural posture in a person’s repertoire. However, if a postural change occurs suddenly and due to a particular stimulus, we should pay particular attention. The legs may have been drawn in the direction of the attractive stimulus – be it a person or event.

Similar to the leg twine, a thigh-thigh cross is a tight version of leg crossing where the thigh is brought up really high and the legs pressed tightly together. This can signal a closed attitude and restrained emotion. It might also signify a desire to pacify by pressing the genitals tightly together. It is more commonly found in women, but particularly salient when done by men. If a bounce is present, it might indicate a desire for pacifying through sexual self-stimulation.

Cue Cluster: When the legs are crossed toward another person expect to see bodies leaning in, shoulders and head turned toward and good eye contact. The opposite is found when the legs are crossed away. If they are not, then we can assume that the leg cross is more due to comfort or that a person is splitting attention between two equally attractive stimulus.

Body Language Category: Adaptors, Amplifier, Barriers, Body cross, Body pointing, Blocking or Shielding, Closed body language, Defensive body language, Idiosyncratic body language, Indicator of interest (IoI), Intention movements, Undivided attention (nonverbal).

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Amplifier, Attentive body language, Body size reduction, Courtship display, Indicator of interest (IoI), Indicator Of Sexual Interest (IOsI), Liking, Open body language, Undivided attention (nonverbal)

Body Language of Head Tilted or Head Cocked To The Side

by Chris • October 23, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Head Tilted or Head Cocked To The Side

Cue: Head Tilted or Head Cocked To The Side

Synonym(s): Canting The Head, Cocking The Head, Head Tilted At Forty Five Degrees, Head Cocked, Head Canting.

Description: The head tilt happens by tilting the head at forty-five degrees. It is much more commonly held by woman and children, than by men.

In One Sentence: Having the head titled to the side indicates sincere interest and curiosity.

How To Use it: Tilt the head to the side whenever you want to show someone that what they are saying fascinates you. Use this when you want the speaker to see your admiration in a nonverbal way. Men and woman can both use this to encourage each other to share more information.

Women can use the head tilt in a dating context to show men that they are submissive as the head tilt reveals the vulnerable neck. Thus, the posture, is particularly alluring.

Context: a) General b) Dating.

Verbal Translation: a) “I like what I’m hearing so I’m canting my head to the side in sincere interest and amusement.” b) “I’m trying to gain your sympathy and protectiveness so I’m appearing childlike and vulnerable so you will want to be my protector.”

Variant: Men will normally cant their heads by raising the chin slightly whereas women prefer to lower their chins coupled with the head tilted upward. It is thought that women wish to send a more childlike image with their head cant, in order to elicit a protective response in men. When men tilt their heads it usually signifies interest and recognition of others and their ideas. See Forehead Bow (The), Head On.

Cue In Action: a) The audience was totally engaged after he opened with some interesting and surprising facts about how he overcame bullying. b) She wanted to score a date with a particularly handsome and wealthy man so she really fired on the charm. She tossed her head to the side revealing her neck, cocked her head, look up at him and smiled coyly.

Meaning and/or Motivation: a) People and animals both incline their heads slightly when they are interested, attentive, or curious. You might have seen a dog twist his head to the side when puzzled by something a person has done. The head cant is a universal signal of interest and attentive listening. When women cant their heads, it depicts appeasement and submission and when men cant their heads they demonstrate recognition. Women also display their necks during their head tilt in order to appear more vulnerable and less threatening.

b) This is a submissive gesture and normally performed by women. The head tilt happens by tilting the head at forty-five degrees and delivering eye contact in a come hither type, coy, teasing, type look with plenty of neck exposure. It makes women appear more childlike and helpless, and evokes protective feelings in men. Its primary motive is to expose vulnerable parts of the body, the neck, to show submission and trust in a man’s dominance.

Cue Cluster: The head cant is normally coupled with eye contact toward the person showing interest coupled with relaxed facial expression and smiling gently.

Body Language Category: Amplifier, Attentive body language, Body size reduction, Courtship display, Indicator of interest (IoI), Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Liking, Open body language, Undivided attention (nonverbal).

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*No Photo, Attentive body language, Indicator of interest (IoI), Microgestures, Undivided attention (nonverbal)

Body Language of Head Nods

by Chris • October 23, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Head Nods

Cue: Head Nod

Synonym(s): Fast Head Nod, Slow Head Nod, Quick Nod, Nodding.

Description: A gesture done by moving the head rhythmically up and down along the sagittal plane. In micro-nodding the head dips slightly and is almost unperceivable.

In One Sentence: Head nodding is a positive universal signal.

How To Use it: Use nodding to show agreement and understanding. Nodding is a powerful way to encourage others to continue speaking. If someone stops talking and you want them to continue, just offer them a nod and it’s likely that they will resume.

A quick nod at the end of a sentence can be used to punctuate a point and reinforce it. Likewise, it can be done to challenge your partner whom may wish to, in turn, issue a rebuttal.

By speeding up your nodding, you are nonverbally expressing your desire for the other person to finish up so that you may begin speaking.

Use a slow nod to encourage a speaker to continue and a faster nod to show that what is being said is understood.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m in agreement, acceptance, or understanding of what you are saying. My head is moving up and down to show you.”

Variant: See Micro Nodding. The head might sway from side-to-side in a “no” motion showing disagreement. Micro nodding often occurs at the end of a person’s speech and can be attributed to a direct attack as if to say, I’ve made my point and I’m sticking to it, feel free to challenge me, but I’m going to stay firm. The micro nod is quick and usually singular, a quick dip of the chin followed by a slow recovery back to a neutral position.

Cue In Action: a) His boss nodded his head up and down slowly as he delivered his proposal. He indicated that he understood the idea. When it came time for him to provide feedback, he said it needed more work. That stuck him as odd given his head nods. What he didn’t understand was that his head nods showed that he understood what he was saying rather than general agreement.

b) Bill and Linda where talking about the bosses decision to cut the coffee budget. You could tell they agreed because as Linda expressed her position, Bill nodded his head.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Nodding has a widespread meaning used to convey acceptance or agreement but in other cultures it means disagreement.

Slow nodding often encourages a speaker to continue while faster nodding shows that what is being said is understood. A quick nod shows more complete understanding and agreement or a desire to interject and take over the speaking role.

To discern between agreement and desire to speak, watch for eye direction. Nodding with eyes that are cast toward the speaker is used as support, while nods with eyes cast away are done in order to take over the conversation. Other times, nodding occurs due to distraction. This is nodding coupled with a glazed look in the eyes. A firm and decisive head nod shows agreement, whereas a slight nod simply shows understanding.

Research has shown that head nodding breads positive thoughts and is hardwired into the brain. Scientific experiments have shown that as the conscious mind invariably gets tired or distracted, the head nodding stops or changes direction. Head nodding therefore is a gesture that has a powerful influence to those around us and can be used to create positive feelings. Head nodding creates connectivity in people and shows that what is being said, is being understood. Even if agreement is not present, it shows that a person is at least being heard which can be used to sway agreement in the future on a more important issue.

Too much nodding, on the other hand, shows indifference which can be a useful tactic depending on the speaker and their intent. Three nods in quick succession shows that you are ready to speak yourself and has the net effect of increasing their rate of speech to avoid being cut off.

In Japan, the up and down nod of the head or “yes motion” is utilized not to show ‘agreement’ but to show ‘understanding’. Therefore, while pitching a new idea or venture, it would be foolish to think that the continuous head nodding by the Japanese was due to their willingness to invest.

Cue Cluster: Watch for eye contact, torso orientation, leaning in or out to provide cues as to the overall meaning of the head nod as it can be varied. Nodding is accompanied by either eye contact to show interest, or lack thereof to show disinterest and disengagement. The body will also orient toward a speaker of interest, or away. Sometimes nodding is used to speed up speech or in agreement so it is important to watch for accompanying cues to define the meaning.

Body Language Category: Attentive, Indicator of interest (IoI), Microgestures, Undivided attention (nonverbal).

Resources:

Austin, Keith ; Theakston, Anna ; Lieven, Elena ; Tomasello, Michael Eccles, Jacquelynne S. (editor). Young Children’s Understanding of Denial. Developmental Psychology. 2014. 50(8): 2061-2070.

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Attentive body language, Buy signals, Indicators of disinterest (IOD), Undivided attention (nonverbal)

Body Language of Hand On The Chin

by Chris • October 22, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Hand On The Chin

Cue: Hand Supporting The Chin

Synonym(s): Chin Supporting, Hand Under The Chin, Hand To Chin.

Description: Occurs when the hand is held palm up under the chin which is then often supported by a table or desk.

In One Sentence: Supporting the chin by the hand is a sign of boredom.

How To Use it: Show others that you are bored or tired by nestling the chin into the crux of the palm. This is useful to show disinterest which may compel those viewing the signal to speed up their discourse.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: a) “I’m bored so my hand is buttressing my chin with most of the weight so I don’t fall over completely.” b) “I’m lightly supporting my chin because I’m thinking and my chin is my source of wisdom.”

Variant: See Chin Stroking and Finger Moving Up The Chin.

Cue In Action: As the lecture dragged on, the student’s head collapsed more and more into her palm. At first just her fingers touched her chin as the topic interested her. As the course dragged on, her fingers flattened and her chin fell into her palm. By the end of the lecture, she was slumped on her palm and it was carrying most of the weight.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Hand on the chin Indicates evaluation or that negative thoughts are being held, that boredom has set in, or that a person is tired.

The amount of weight supported by the hand outlines the meaning. The more weight that is held, the greater the lack of interest or boredom. For example, fingers supporting the chin shows more interest and less boredom than does a head that is pressed firmly into the hand. Where no weight is in the palm, hand-to-chin indicates evaluation.

Cue Cluster: To determine the intent of the message watch for associated cues. For boredom you will see slumping over, the palm will compress from the extra weight it is holding, the eyes will droop and close, or blink slowly and stare, the shoulders will keel over and the head and body my bob down due to momentarily falling asleep. When the hand only bears part of the weight indicating evaluation, watch for the finger tips to only be touching the chin, the head and body to be erect, titled at forty five degrees, eye contact to switch from direct to thinking, down or up and the body to lean forward.

Body Language Category: Attentive, Boredom, Buy signals, Indicators of disinterest (IOD), Undivided attention (nonverbal).

Resources:

Almerigogna, Jehanne ; Ost, James ; Akehurst, Lucy ; Fluck, Mike. How Interviewers’ Nonverbal Behaviors Can Affect Children’s Perceptions and Suggestibility. Journal of Experimental Child Psychology. 2008. 100(1): 17-39.

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Attentive body language, Body pointing, Courtship display, Honest body language, Indicator of interest (IoI), Indicator Of Sexual Interest (IOsI), Intention movements, Liking, Open body language, Orienting reflex or orienting response, Undivided attention (nonverbal)

Body Language of Cooperative Feet

by Chris • October 20, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Cooperative Feet

Cue: Cooperative Feet

Synonym(s): Feet Pointed Toward A Person.

Description: Cooperative feet are ones that are oriented toward a speaker rather than away. Their proximity is increased rather than decreased.

In One Sentence: When feet are pointed and are oriented toward a speaker, they indicate through direction and proximity, that a person is willing to cooperate.

How To Use it: Use feet to show the direction in which you are thinking and feeling. Feet can be pointed and extended toward the door if one wishes to leave. On the other hand, should a person or their ideas be of interest you should aim and extend your feet in their direction. While many people will only subconsciously be aware of your tactic, it will help reinforce your vocal words and help you maintain congruence. Matching your words with your body language will make you appear more honest and trustworthy.

When one wishes to show disinterest, simply turn the feet away. This can show others that you wish to leave or that you are not interested in what they are saying. This can serve you by increasing the chances they will make the conversation more interesting or if negotiation, advance a better offer.

Context: a) Dating b) Business

Verbal Translation: “I agree with you and my primitive mind is showing it by moving my feet toward you and pointing at you.”

Variant: See Toe Pointing or Pointed Toe, Buttress Stance or Foot Forward Leg Stance.

Cue In Action: a) Jill and Bill were really hitting it off, you could tell just by looking at their feet bellow the table. Both his and her feet were extended toward one another. b) At one point in the conversation the client was about to leave with his body aimed toward the door. Noticing his negative body language, the salesman quickly dropped his price 30%. The client pulled his feet back in and aimed them squarely at the salesman. The salesmen used his knowledge of body language to salvage the deal.

Meaning and/or Motivation: The direction that feet point coupled with their extension or withdrawal tells us much about how a person really feels about the situation. Feet move toward things they like and away from things they don’t like.

Feet are either cooperative or non-cooperative depending on how close they are to the stimulus and which way they point. In other words, as feet move closer, they are in agreement and when they are withdrawn, they are in disagreement. Also, feet usually point toward people and ideas they agree with and away from people and ideas they disagree with.

Millions of years ago, we gave up quadrupedalism to walk upright leaving our feet “to the dirt.” While our hands busied themselves with other complex tasks like building fires, making clothing and shelters and throwing spears our legs were relegated to more primitive activities like locomotion. The feet on the other hand, carried out more traditional tasks like escaping predators, avoiding hot sand or coals from the fire, leaping from slithering snakes or poisonous spiders, or navigating rough rocking river bottoms. The feet were therefore connected more to the reptilian brain that reacts to stimuli directly instead of contemplating higher order tasks that require planning.

When we’re frightened it doesn’t take much to put our feet in gear. For example, feet are quickly tucked under our legs and coiled up ready to flee with any indication of danger. For example, the shadow of a mouse scampering across the room forces our feet to instantly freeze, or be pulled onto a chair.

Our feet carry the flight or fight reaction to the letter making them honest.

Our feet and legs can display boredom through repetitive motions, joy by lifting the body up and down, fear by being tucked under a chair, depression by laying lazily or motionless and sensuality by being uncovered and flaunted.

Cue Cluster: Cooperative feet are accompanied by other agreement indicators such as palms up rather than down, arms uncrossed, head tilted at forty five degrees, eye contact, ventral fronting and head nods.

Body Language Category: Attentive, Body pointing, Courtship display, Honest body language or honesty, Indicator of interest (IoI), Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Intention movements, Liking, Open body language, Orienting reflex or orienting response, Undivided attention (nonverbal).

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