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Summary – Chapter 14

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In this chapter we examined body language as it relates to business. We learned that we can signal the desire to help in a sales environment without developing friendship by first identifying the type of consumer they are. There are four types of consumer; they are clients who prefer to help themselves, the friendly client who is looking to chat and build rapport before deciding on what to buy, the follower who will want the salesperson to take charge and the dominator who wants to stare clerks down and remains suspicious of their motives. We also learned ways of dealing with each type of client.

Next we covered how people prefer to orient themselves while speaking and found regional differences. For example, Americans will speak at forty-five degree angles to each other, but Arabic cultures will speak so close their faces nearly touch. We then covered handshake techniques and types and found that there are three main handshake orientations; palm down (superiority), palm up (submissive) and palm even (equality) and also the ways to deal with them. We summarized a good handshake as having just the right pressure and duration but that it should vary depending on whom you are shaking hands with. We learned that firm handshakes versus “limp” handshakes can equalize women and men in the workplace and supported this with research that tied firm handshakes to extroversion and emotional expressiveness rather than shyness and neuroticism. We then covered the various handshakes one might encounter and provided visually accurate names for them. They were the death grip, the cold dead wet fish, the limp fish, short grabber/finger grabber, stiff arm and trust forward, wrench forward controller, arm twister, over pumper, double gripper politician, the teacup, the undershaker and the oddball.

We then explained how to thwart dominant handshakes particularly the palm down presentation with the step to the right technique, as well as the various other techniques to send particular messages based on your particular handshake partner and intention. We gave women a sequence by which to follow to impress men in the workplace by keeping the hand perfectly vertical, thrusting forward and aiming to meet web to web, the skin between index and thumb. We then gave women some advice to maintain sexuality without appearing unintelligent, one of which included the heels to neutralize prey, the others included avoiding the figure four sitting position and the full body steeple. We also found that women should appear masculine in their attire, yet retain curves, but not cleavage.

Next we covered readiness and attentiveness body language which includes the sprinting positions or leaning forward to show interest, or by coiling the legs to show eagerness to leave, whereas leaning back shows either comfort of disinterest. We followed this up with tips to become a leader and saw why it is important to show better posture, take up more space, hold a serious gaze with eye contact, use appropriate and tactful touching, avoid too much smiling (especially women), avoid excessive placation and fight the urge to nod with agreement especially if someone expresses a thought you disagree with. For those of us who are happy to follow, we provided tips in dealing with the three different types of bosses, the autocratic, democratic and laissez-faire, then covered ways to impress on a job interview, and concluded with buy signals; eye contact, moving in, touching the chin and greater relaxation.

Reading Buy Signals

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No matter what your occupation, we are all in the business of selling. If we aren’t selling a particular product, we’re selling ourselves! Most good salesmen agree that almost every form of sales includes the selling of oneself and when people buy, they usually buy us and not the merchandise. This is why it’s important to know when we are on the right track during a sales call. Buying signals include indicators that tell us that someone is not only ready to buy an item, but can also mean that they are ready to sign a deal, offer us a job, create a partnership or forge practically any other agreement. Let’s look at some of the ways we know when someone is about to commit to buying so we can tone down or stop our pitch altogether in favour of closing out. Pitching passed the point where a decision is made is always unnecessary, but sometimes even disastrous because we may end up saying something extra to take them out of the buying mood. So here are the various signals we should watch for during a sales pitch.

Eye contact: During the pitch process a buyer will sometimes try to feign disinterest (or might actually be disinterested) but as someone readies to buy, they increase eye contact.

Moving in: Buyers will shrink the distance between them and the seller usually by leaning inward, or if standing, by moving in closer. Translation – they don’t want the deal to slip away.

Touching the chin: Touching the chin is a powerful signal showing thought, and if seen along with accompanying buy-signals, closing should be attempted.

Greater relaxation: Tension is heavy during negotiations, but as demands are met and agreements created, a sudden release of tension from the body indicates that your client is prepared to accept the deal and is okay with its terms.

Any reversal of these signals, midstream or a lack of buy-signals shows that a buyer is not yet ready to purchase. With what we have covered throughout this book, it should be obvious from their body language, the reason they withhold the sale. If possible, addressing concerns as you go through hints in their body language, but if you miss them and get hung up put the ball in their court by asking them what needs addressing. This is only a fail-safe tactic since in most cases, as we have seen people give off plenty of solid clues to negative thought patterns.

Your Exit

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When prompted that the interview is over take your time in packing your things, rather than rushing to leave. Don’t loiter either though, just make it clear that you aren’t in such an awkward position that you need to quickly exit. Shake hands again if possible and clear up any last questions that you might have. The interviewer will likely let you know how and when the interview process will be finalized. Make your exit deliberate as you did your entry.

Gestures

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Never gesture too much because subconsciously it will appear that we are at a loss for words. Don’t restrict gestures either, as they will make us seem uptight and will inhibit our speech flow and always return your hands to your lap after each bout of movement. High status individuals use gestures much less than low status individuals so keep your gestures deliberate, clear and meaningful. If possible and appropriate, mirror the subtle gestures of your interviewer to try to build rapport. The more similar you can make them think you are to them, the more confident they will be in your ability to do the job and fit in.

During The Interview

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Don’t be thrown off by the office set-up, as it might be created to put you at a disadvantage. For example, the chair provided for you might be shorter than the interviewees and a large desk might separate you from them. Don’t concern yourself with this, as everyone else will be viewed with the same conditions. Try your best to seem comfortable in whatever position you happen to be in. Keep your legs uncrossed and flat on the floor with your hands in your lap. Keep your back straight and head up and lean toward the interviewer slightly. Always hit on the averages, not too much and not too little. This goes for everything, appear relaxed, but not too relaxed, use gestures, but not too often and so forth. If the interviewer seems uptight, don’t try to loosen them up with jokes or banter but if they seem personable, or in the mood, it can be advantageous to discuss interests and hobbies. Office photographs can be great links to common interests to help build rapport. If a direct question is asked, answer directly, don’t appear to waste time with the interviewer. Try your best to maintain flow between the communication style of the interviewer and yourself. If they speak quickly, don’t try to keep up, but don’t lag behind either. It’s always better to speak a little bit slower and more confidently than speaking faster than your mind can think.

Maintain good eye contact while speaking and while listening allow for some periods when eye contact is broken. Never cut off the interviewer and offer plenty of cues that you understand what is being said. Speak slowly and confidently and never more than thirty seconds at a time. Nods and approval sounds such as “mhum” makes the interviewer know that you comprehend what is being said and the research shows us that this is important even for high status individuals. If you are genuinely confused by what is said tilt your head to the side to make a query face. If this body language doesn’t yield clarifying information from the interviewer, then ask to hear the information again, as it shows that you are keenly interested in learning more about the work.

To measure your success throughout the interview watch for eye contact, smiling and nodding. The research show us that successful applicants get twice as much eye contact, three times more smiling and twice as much head nodding as unsuccessful ones. Use this information to build your confidence or to ramp up your pitch if things aren’t going well.

Your Entry

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When asked to come in, move in swiftly but not quickly, take your time, but don’t be wasteful of others either. Maintain a steady pace into the office and note what the interviewer is doing. If they are still playing with papers take even more time so they can take a good look at you. Once seated half of your body will be covered by a desk so this is the second to last chance you have to being remembered. If they are ready for you allow them to indict to you where you should sit. If they are busy, then put down your briefcase and make eye contact. If they are still on the phone or doing other things, take a seat and allow them to get ready. When they are set, they will usually shake your hand. If they don’t, then make the effort to shake theirs. It sometimes happens that we don’t shake hands because we “don’t like the looks of someone” but perhaps it is due to having had a long day interviewing so we wouldn’t want to let an opportunity to provide a good handshake slip us by. After you shake hands, if you haven’t already, immediately take a seat instead of towering over them.

When You First Arrive

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When you first arrive remove your outerwear and hang it up if possible. Try to make it seem like you belong and already fit in. When you are waiting, take notes. Have a look at the secretary and her dress and look around at others. How are they dressed? Are they casual or dressed formally. This can tell you a lot about the office’s standards of conduct. Is the office busy or quiet? Get into this framework and picture yourself there. If there is any information or company accolades on the wall, read them, and mentally make notes as you can potentially use them in your interview. If possible, remain standing in the waiting room, so as not to go unnoticed. Don’t fidget, instead remain relaxed with authoritarian postures such as the military man with hand in hand behind the back trying not to appear closed.

Before You Get There

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Some advanced preparation can help you match or mirror the language of the office. Choosing dress that fits into the workplace is common knowledge, so it’s not necessary to cover this at lengths, suffice it to say that you should try to wear attire that is much like what current employees are already wearing except if it includes scrubs or overalls. In most cases a cleanly pressed suite for men is appropriate, whereas women should wear something professional yet asexual.

Job Interview Body Language

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More than anything else during a job interview is the overall impression you leave with your prospective employer. Your credentials including your resume and even what you say will all be long forgotten minutes after you leave the interviewer’s office. They may recall certain things you said, but they won’t key in on them specifically. Instead the interviewer will key in on how you said them. In fact, most studies agree that job interviews are a fairly unproductive affair, as how you are rated, and whether or not you are hired, has more to do with how much you are liked by the interviewer than any other factor.

Body language during an interview is simple. All that is required of you is to convey that you are competent, qualified and most importantly, that you will fit in with the current company’s structure without causing problems. This raises a common misconception about job interviews which says that standing out from the other applicants is the goal, but in reality, fitting in should be your primary objective. The following are some tips to taking a proper interview.

Laissez-faire

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The final type of boss is the laissez-faire type. The words “laissez-faire” is French for “let be”. Literally, this boss will give an employee free reign, or seemingly so. They have confidence in the ability of others to do a good job, and check in only occasionally to measure progress. This boss will be relaxed and not status conscious, they will try to avoid others as much as possible to afford them the room and space they need to work. They might be friendly, but lack eye contact and expression so as not to become involved with others and take them off task. To work well with this boss, use confident and independent body language. Give off signals that you are working efficiently and are coping with any project given to you. Keep meetings short, update them of your progress every so often, then get back to work.