Category: Conflicting gestures

Body Language of The Hug Ender Cue or Tap Out

Body Language of The Hug Ender Cue or Tap Out

BodyLanguageProjectCom - Hug Ender Cue 1Cue: Hug Ender Cue

Synonym(s): Tap Out

Description: The hug ender cue is a pat done during or toward the end of a hug.

In One Sentence: Tapping during a hug signals the desire to end it.

How To Use it: Use the tap out to tell others that you are finished hugging and wish for it to end. Women can show men that they are not sexually interested in them by tapping their back in a friendly way. Similarly, mothers and fathers can tap their children’s back to offer reassurance.

Context: a) General b) Dating.

Verbal Translation: “I’m done with this hug so I’m pawing at your back in effort to escape your clutches.”

Variant: See Hug for variants of the hug. The hand might also rub the back which implies a desire to offer comfort, sooth and nurture.

Cue In Action: a) The brothers hugged and patted each other. b) At the end of the date, they hugged by pressing the shoulders together and she patted him on the back. Tapping, while hugging, is a clear signal that she felt little or no romantic interest.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Done near the end of a hug when a person wishes to “submit” and break away – ending the hug. It’s like telling the other person that they are done but instead of rudely pulling their arms off, they are lightly pawed at instead.

The pat is no different than what an MMA fighter or wrestler does when he wants to end the fight – he taps out.

Cue Cluster: The hug ender cue is usually coupled with short superficial conversation, shoulders pressed together versus hips touching, lack of eye contact after the hug and a desire to depart swiftly.

Body Language Category: Amplifier, Conflicting gestures, Dislike (nonverbal), Escape movements, Microgestures.

Resources:

Bowlby, J. (1979). The making and breaking of affectional bonds. British Journal of Psychiatry, 130, 201 -210, 42 1-43 1 .

Dickinson, Amy. Block That Hug: The rules on touching children have changed for parents who volunteer as coaches or tutors.(Personal Time/Your Family)(Brief Article). Time. 2000. 155(14): 142.

Derlega, Valerian ; Lewis, Robin ; Harrison, Scott ; Winstead, Barbara ; Costanza, Robert. Gender differences in the initiation and attribution of tactile intimacy. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior. 1989. 13(2): 83-96.

Derlega, Valerian J. ; Catanzaro, Diane ; Lewis, Robin J. Lisak, David (editor). Perceptions About Tactile Intimacy in Same-Sex and Opposite-Sex Pairs Based on Research Participants’ Sexual Orientation. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 2001, Vol.2(2), pp.124-132

Derlega, Valerian ; Lewis, Robin ; Harrison, Scott ; Winstead, Barbara ; Costanza, Robert. Gender differences in the initiation and attribution of tactile intimacy. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior. 1989. 13(2): 83-96.

Derlega, Valerian J. ; Catanzaro, Diane ; Lewis, Robin J. Lisak, David (editor). Perceptions About Tactile Intimacy in Same-Sex and Opposite-Sex Pairs Based on Research Participants’ Sexual Orientation. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 2001, Vol.2(2), pp.124-132

Fromme, Donald ; Jaynes, William ; Taylor, Deborah ; Hanold, Elaine ; Daniell, Jennifer ; Rountree, J. ; Fromme, Marie. Nonverbal behavior and attitudes toward touch. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior. 1989. 13(1): 3-14.

Floyd, Kory. All Touches are not Created Equal: Effects of Form and Duration on Observers’ Interpretations of an Embrace. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior. 1999. 23(4): 283-299.

Gulledge, Andrew K ; Stahmann, Robert F ; Wilson, Colwick M. Seven types of nonsexual romantic physical affection among Brigham young university students
Psychological reports 2004, Vol.95(2), pp.609-14

Gulledge, Andrewk. ; Gulledge, Michelleh. ; Stahmannn, Robertf. Romantic Physical Affection Types and Relationship Satisfaction. The American Journal of Family Therapy, 2003, Vol.31(4), p.233-242

Gurevitch, Z. D. The Embrace: On the Element of Non-Distance in Human Relations. The Sociological Quarterly. 1990. 31(2): 187-201.

Golden, Deborah. Hugging the Teacher: Reading Bodily Practice in an Israeli Kindergarten. Teachers and Teaching: Theory and Practice. 2004. 10(4): 395-407.

Hansen, Jacqueline. The Truth about Teaching and Touching. Childhood Education. 2007. 83(3): 158-162.

Heino, William J. Perfect Timing for Parental Hugs.(to comfort children following medical treatment)(Brief Article). Consultant. 2000. 40(13): 2173.

Hugs help protect against stress and infection, say Carnegie Mellon researchers.(Report)
Health & Medicine Week, Jan 2, p.1341

Hadi, Rhonda ; Valenzuela, Ana. A meaningful embrace: Contingent effects of embodied cues of affection. Journal of Consumer Psychology, 2014, Vol.24(4), pp.520-532

Hugs help protect against stress and infection, say Carnegie Mellon researchers.(Report)
Health & Medicine Week, Jan 2, p.1341

Landau, Rivka. Affect and attachment: Kissing, hugging, and patting as attachment behaviors. Infant Mental Health Journal. 1989. 10(1): 59-69.

Moore, Monica. Courtship Signaling and Adolescents: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. Journal of Sex Research. 1995. 32(4): 319-328.
http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/girls-just-want-to-have-fun-the-origins-of-courtship-cues-in-girls-and-women/

Maclaren, Kym. Touching matters: Embodiments of intimacy. Emotion, Space and Society. 2014. 13: 95-102.

Rabinowitz, Fredric E. The male-to-male embrace: breaking the touch taboo in a men’s therapy group. Journal of Counseling and Development. 1991. 69(6): 574(3).

Shimooka, Yukiko ; Nakagawa, Naofumi. Functions of an unreported “rocking-embrace” gesture between female Japanese Macaques ( Macaca fuscata ) in Kinkazan Island, Japan. Primates. 2014. 55(2): 327-335.

Shelton, Kathryn ; Mckenzie, Richard B. Pedophiles and the regulation of hugging: concerns about protecting children may deprive them of important physical contact.(PUBLIC SAFETY). Regulation. 2012. 35(4): 14(5).

Tracy, R. L., & Ainsworth, M. D. S. (1981). Maternal affectionate behavior and infant-mother attachment patterns. Child Development, 52, 1341-1343.

Taavoni, S ; Shahali, S ; Haghani, H. Infant Vaccination Pain Management: Comparing the Effect of Mother’s Hug and Breast Feeding, Tehran, 2009-2010. Pediatric Research. 2011. 70: 738-738.

Body Language of Fear Smile or Stress Smile

Body Language of Fear Smile or Stress Smile

No picCue: Fear Smile

Synonym(s): Stress Smile, Fear Grin.

Description: A smile where the lips are stretched to form a rectangular shape. These muscles sometimes pull the corners of the mouth upwards slightly to produce a grimace. Accompanying the lips stretch is a contraction of the eyebrows together coupled with an upward lift and widened eyes.

In One Sentence: The fear smile indicates emotional stress.

How To Use it: The fear smile is more of a reactive nonverbal signal then one to be used to influence other people. In other words, when stressed, our natural inclination is to smile in fear, however, this is usually taken as a demonstration of smugness as the smile appears out of context. Most often, when it appears people wonder why you are laughing and will command you wipe that smug look off your face. This is especially the case when the fear smile appears when being reprimanded.

Therefore, concealing or stifling the fear smile is probably the best recourse. Stifling an expression, especially the fear smile, while dishonest, does make one appear more stoic when facing a particularly difficult situation.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m scared and my smile is motivated by stress, rather than joy, and it’s a way to mask my truly felt emotions.”

Variant: See Smiling, Fear Smile, Friendly Smile, Frown (the) or Downturned Smile, Honest Smile or Duchenne Smile, Jaw Drop Smile, Nervous Smile, Polite Smile (the), Uneven Smile Or Lopsided Smile, Upper Lip Smile, Artificial Smile or Fake Smile, Nervous Smile, Honest Smile or Duchenne Smile, Contempt Facial Expression.

Cue In Action: She came up to him yelling and screaming. He backed away and put his arms over his chest and smiled awkwardly. He had no idea she had been brooding and was not expecting her to confront him in this way. She continued, “wipe that smug look off your face.” She didn’t realize that his smile was due to feeling overwhelmed.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Not all smiles are due to happiness. Sometimes people will smile when they are under high stress. Being confronted can produce the fear smile. If we’re careful to watch for it, it appears like a goofy looking smile. For great examples of the fear smile, watch television courtroom shows. When Judge Judy asks the defendant to wipe that smile off their face – you know she’s asking them to be more stoic rather than flash the fear smile. She is misperceiving the fear smile as smugness.

We see stress smiles when people are at a loss for words in a verbal confrontation and have no way to escape. Research has theorized that the smile actually has roots as a sign of fear where the teeth are bared to confront aggressive challenges. When people show the fear grin they are usually labeled as smug, but the emotion behind this smile is anything but. Human smiles are a universally submissive gesture but they can also symbolize pleasure, amusement, aggression, or anxiety (grimace). However, these other emotions never truly supercede the most common purpose of the smile, which is to show submission.

Cue Cluster: The fear smile is accompanied by defensive postures such as arm crossing, leaning away, head turned away, eyes averted and a deadpan look on the face.

Body Language Category: Appease, Closed body language, Conflicting gestures, Emotional body language, Fearful body language, Masked emotions, Negative body language, Stressful body language, Submissive body language.

Resources:

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Ekman, Paul and Friesen, W. V. 1987. Universals and cultural differences in the judgments of facial expressions of emotion. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 53(4): 712-717.

Ekman, Paul; Friesen, Wallace V. 1971. Constants across cultures in the face and emotion. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 17(2): 124-129.

Ekman, Paul. 1972. Universals and cultural differences in facial expressions of emotion. In J. Cole (Ed.), Nebraska Symposium on Motivation, 1971. 19: 207-282. Lincoln: University of Nebraska Press.

Fulcher, J. S. “Voluntary” facial expression in blind and seeing children. Archives of Psychology, 1942. 38: 272.

Friesen, W. V. 1972. Cultural differences in facial expressions in a social situation: An experimental test of the concept of display rules. Unpublished doctoral dissertation, University of California, San Francisco.

Fairbairn, Catharine E.; Michael A. Sayette; Odd O. Aalen and Arnoldo Frigessi. Alcohol and Emotional Contagion: An Examination of the Spreading of Smiles in Male and Female Drinking Groups. Clinical Psychological Science. 2014. DOI: 2167702614548892
http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/alcohol-social-lubricant-male-smiles/

Gueguen, Nicolas. Weather and Smiling Contagion: A Quasi Experiment With the Smiling Sunshine. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior. 2013. 37:51–55. DOI 10.1007/s10919-012-0140-y
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Guéguen, N. The Effect Of A Woman’s Smile On Men’s Courtship Behavior. Social Behavior and Personality. 2008. 36(9): 1233-1236.
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Guéguen, N., & Fischer-Lokou, J. (2004). Hitchhiker’s Smiles And Receipt Of Help. Psychological Reports. 94: 756-760.

Gosselin, Pierre; Reem Maassarani; Alastair Younger and Mélanie Perron. Children’s Deliberate Control of Facial Action Units Involved in Sad and Happy Expressions. Journal of Nonverbal Behaviour. 2011. 35:225–242. DOI 10.1007/s10919-011-0110-9.
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