Body Language of The Hug Ender Cue or Tap Out
Cue: Hug Ender Cue
Synonym(s): Tap Out
Description: The hug ender cue is a pat done during or toward the end of a hug.
In One Sentence: Tapping during a hug signals the desire to end it.
How To Use it: Use the tap out to tell others that you are finished hugging and wish for it to end. Women can show men that they are not sexually interested in them by tapping their back in a friendly way. Similarly, mothers and fathers can tap their children’s back to offer reassurance.
Context: a) General b) Dating.
Verbal Translation: “I’m done with this hug so I’m pawing at your back in effort to escape your clutches.”
Variant: See Hug for variants of the hug. The hand might also rub the back which implies a desire to offer comfort, sooth and nurture.
Cue In Action: a) The brothers hugged and patted each other. b) At the end of the date, they hugged by pressing the shoulders together and she patted him on the back. Tapping, while hugging, is a clear signal that she felt little or no romantic interest.
Meaning and/or Motivation: Done near the end of a hug when a person wishes to “submit” and break away – ending the hug. It’s like telling the other person that they are done but instead of rudely pulling their arms off, they are lightly pawed at instead.
The pat is no different than what an MMA fighter or wrestler does when he wants to end the fight – he taps out.
Cue Cluster: The hug ender cue is usually coupled with short superficial conversation, shoulders pressed together versus hips touching, lack of eye contact after the hug and a desire to depart swiftly.
Body Language Category: Amplifier, Conflicting gestures, Dislike (nonverbal), Escape movements, Microgestures.
Resources:
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Derlega, Valerian J. ; Catanzaro, Diane ; Lewis, Robin J. Lisak, David (editor). Perceptions About Tactile Intimacy in Same-Sex and Opposite-Sex Pairs Based on Research Participants’ Sexual Orientation. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 2001, Vol.2(2), pp.124-132
Derlega, Valerian ; Lewis, Robin ; Harrison, Scott ; Winstead, Barbara ; Costanza, Robert. Gender differences in the initiation and attribution of tactile intimacy. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior. 1989. 13(2): 83-96.
Derlega, Valerian J. ; Catanzaro, Diane ; Lewis, Robin J. Lisak, David (editor). Perceptions About Tactile Intimacy in Same-Sex and Opposite-Sex Pairs Based on Research Participants’ Sexual Orientation. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 2001, Vol.2(2), pp.124-132
Fromme, Donald ; Jaynes, William ; Taylor, Deborah ; Hanold, Elaine ; Daniell, Jennifer ; Rountree, J. ; Fromme, Marie. Nonverbal behavior and attitudes toward touch. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior. 1989. 13(1): 3-14.
Floyd, Kory. All Touches are not Created Equal: Effects of Form and Duration on Observers’ Interpretations of an Embrace. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior. 1999. 23(4): 283-299.
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Golden, Deborah. Hugging the Teacher: Reading Bodily Practice in an Israeli Kindergarten. Teachers and Teaching: Theory and Practice. 2004. 10(4): 395-407.
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Heino, William J. Perfect Timing for Parental Hugs.(to comfort children following medical treatment)(Brief Article). Consultant. 2000. 40(13): 2173.
Hugs help protect against stress and infection, say Carnegie Mellon researchers.(Report)
Health & Medicine Week, Jan 2, p.1341
Hadi, Rhonda ; Valenzuela, Ana. A meaningful embrace: Contingent effects of embodied cues of affection. Journal of Consumer Psychology, 2014, Vol.24(4), pp.520-532
Hugs help protect against stress and infection, say Carnegie Mellon researchers.(Report)
Health & Medicine Week, Jan 2, p.1341
Landau, Rivka. Affect and attachment: Kissing, hugging, and patting as attachment behaviors. Infant Mental Health Journal. 1989. 10(1): 59-69.
Moore, Monica. Courtship Signaling and Adolescents: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. Journal of Sex Research. 1995. 32(4): 319-328.
http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/girls-just-want-to-have-fun-the-origins-of-courtship-cues-in-girls-and-women/
Maclaren, Kym. Touching matters: Embodiments of intimacy. Emotion, Space and Society. 2014. 13: 95-102.
Rabinowitz, Fredric E. The male-to-male embrace: breaking the touch taboo in a men’s therapy group. Journal of Counseling and Development. 1991. 69(6): 574(3).
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Taavoni, S ; Shahali, S ; Haghani, H. Infant Vaccination Pain Management: Comparing the Effect of Mother’s Hug and Breast Feeding, Tehran, 2009-2010. Pediatric Research. 2011. 70: 738-738.
