Body Language Of Self-Hugging or The Double Arm Hug
Cue: Self-Hugging or The Double Arm Hug.
Synonym(s): Self-Administered Hug, Double Arm Hug, Hugging The Self.
Description: Self-hugging can be done by grabbing both arms across the body, in extreme cases to each shoulder, or by clasping one arm onto the arm, elbow or shoulder on the opposite side (Partial Arm Cross or Incomplete Arm Cross). At times, the hands will pacify by rubbing the shoulders.
In One Sentence: Self hugging is a cue signaling the desire to be comforted.
How To Use it: Self hugging replaces the need for the comfort of another. Thus, it is to be used when one does not wish to rely on the care of others, but when one still wishes to receive a caring touch. The cue is generally perceived in a negative light so should be used only in instances when one is not concerned with appearing vulnerable. Self-hugging in a business meeting, for example, is ill advised. However, hugging the self is perfectly acceptable in the privacy of your own home, or when surrounded by close friends or family where we are generally permitted to show our softer side.
Context: General.
Verbal Translation: “I’m awkward and self conscious so I’m wrapping myself up in a self embrace to provide comfort and care as my parents provided to me in my youth.”
Variant: See Partial Arm Cross or Incomplete Arm Cross, Fetal Position (The), Self-Stroking or Auto Contact, Hand Gripping Upper Arm or Wrist Behind Back.
Cue In Action: It was the first time away from her parents at camp and most of the other girls were getting along fine and seemed to know each other from last year. Autumn was left by herself in line and looked awkwardly at the others while wrapping her arms around herself in a self hug. She was reminded of the care she got from her parents.
Meaning and/or Motivation: Hugging one’s self is both defensive and a closed body position. People who hold this posture exclaim that they are cold, but in reality, the cold sensation stems from feeling awkward, timid, self conscious, or distress. Self-hugs, done in this way, remind us of the care and comfort we received from mom and dad, and when found in adulthood, indicate a need for reassurance.
In adulthood, self-hugging is found when we’re insecure, self-conscious, afraid or defensive, generally. Because it’s generally not appropriate to show vulnerability to others and seek support from other’s we instead hug ourselves discreetly. The astute body language reader will notice this signal and step in to help make the carrier of the signal feel better.
Cue Cluster: Watch for submissive cues to accompany the self-hug such as head lowered or bowed, eyes up-cast, shoulders hunched over and toes pointed inward.
Body Language Category: Amplifier, Appease, Barriers, Body cross, Body size reduction, Blocking or Shielding, Comfort body language, Clenching and gripping, Closed body language, Defensive body language, Emotional body language, Low confidence body language, Nervous body language, Pseudo-infantile gestures, Pacifying body language, Protective reflexes, Submissive body language.
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