Category: Intention movements

Aggressive body language, Approach tell, Courtship display, Eye Language, Hostile body language, Indicator Of Sexual Interest (IOsI), Intention movements, Liking, Micromessaging

Body Language of The Once Over

by Chris • October 27, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of The Once Over

Cue: Once Over (the)

Synonym(s): Eye Assess, Undressing Her With His Eyes, Catty Eyes.

Description: A sexual or competitive eye pattern that follows the body over its entire form from the toes to the top of the head usually done by men on women (sexual interest) or by women on other women (competition – sexual). When men look women over, they will stop at the buttocks, breasts and face.

In One Sentence: The once over indicates a sexual interest or is meant to issue a combative challenge.

How To Use it: Men and women can both use the “once over” to signal to a partner that they find them appealing. Women should look men up and down pausing on the groin area or buttocks, shoulders and face. Eye contact should be made to anchor the message. A subtle lip lick will produce an unmistakable message. Men can also signal interest by making forays to the rest of the body. This should be done either covertly so as to create the impression of respect or, conversely, aggressively and with confidence to show high dominance in an unapologetic fashion. Mixing the two strategies will result in a poor impression – so choose one and use it wisely.

It should be noted that women generally, do not take well to the once over, at least at a conscious level. Subconsciously, women appreciate being desired. However, many times this is context specific. Being in a committed relationships can sometimes be a moral hindrance to being coveted, other times the once over “compliment” must come from a desirable potential suitor.

Women can also challenge other women by gazing them in a “once over” fashion to tell them that they “have problems.” Looking askance and performing the once over tells other women that they are on their hit list.

If men wish to intimidate and assault women, they may use the “once over” to metaphorically “undress them.” No good results will come from an unwelcome eye pattern, so be warned.

Context: a) Dating b) General/Business/Social.

Verbal Translation: a) “I’m looking you all over from your head to your toes stopping at your assets to measuring my interest in you.” [men on women and women on men] b) “I’m checking you out to see if you’re hotter than me and are going to be one of my direct competitors in the sexual marketplace.” [normally women on women]

Variant: Look under Eye Language (category) to see many ways the eyes convey hidden meaning.

Cue In Action: a) Dave and Mary carefully checked each other out over the course of the party so as to not appear overt and offensive. b) The new intern had arrived and Mary, the long time staff member knew full well that she would be trouble. Mary did the once-over on Katie and noticed that her skirt was too short and her cleavage was showing. Mary knew right away that they wouldn’t get along and that she needed to make it known that the office wouldn’t tolerate unprofessional attire.

Meaning and/or Motivation: It has been shown that both men and women both check each other out sexually, but women are able to do so more discretely. Women are rarely caught looking men over due to their superior peripheral vision. Men have hunter eyes and focus intently on smaller areas than women making them easier to catch in the act.

When the once-over signals competitiveness it is usually done by women onto other women looking for a “cat fight” or looking to size other women up in the sexual marketplace. This is a little acknowledged fact. Women are usually terribly conscious of the attractiveness of the other women around them whether they admit it or not. New rivals appear as targets ripe for their judgment and assessment which usually occurs behind closed doors as gossip or subtle meanness. A new associate, particularly ones who are much younger and more attractive will be seen as a potential rival whom must be neutralized and brought up to speed with office norms.

Thus, the once over can be a measure of a woman’s desire to maintain her rank in the female social order. When men perform the once over on women, it can be a sign that he is interested or at the very least verifying his interest.

Cue Cluster: This cue is a stand-alone cue and can happen independently of any other.

Body Language Category: Approach tell, Aggressive body language, Courtship display, Eye Language, Hostile body language, Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Intention movements, Liking, Micromessaging.

Resources:

Abbey, A., and Melby, C. (1986). The effects of nonverbal cues on gender differences in perceptions of sexual intent. Sex Roles, 15, 283-298.

Argyle, Michael; Lefebvre, Luc; Cook, Mark 1974. The meaning of five patterns of gaze. European Journal of Social Psychology. 4(2): 125-136.

Argyle, M., & Cook, M. (1976). Gaze and mutual gaze. Cambridge, England: Cambridge University Press.

Aron, Arthur Reward, Motivation, and Emotion Systems Associated With Early-Stage Intense Romantic Love. Journal of neurophysiology 94.1 327-337.

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Beall, Alec and Jessica L. Tracy. The Puzzling Attractiveness of Male Shame. Manuscript submitted to Evolutionary Psychology. www.epjournal.net – 2014. 12(x): 1-39
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Bolmont, Mylene; John T. Cacioppo and Stephanie Cacioppo. Love Is in the Gaze: An Eye-Tracking Study of Love and Sexual Desire. Psychological Science July 16, 2014. Published online before print. July 16, 2014, doi: 10.1177/0956797614539706
http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/lust-like-eyes-read-body-language-eyes/

Bolmont, Mylene ; Cacioppo, John T ; Cacioppo, Stephanie. Love Is in the Gaze
Psychological Science. 2014. 25(9): 1748-1756.

Berridge, K. C. (1996). Food reward: Brain substrates of wanting and liking. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 20, 1–25.

Böckler, A., van der Wel, R. P. R. D., & Welsh, T. N. (2014). Catching eyes: Effects of social and nonsocial cues on attention capture. Psychological Science, 25, 720–727.
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Diamond, L. M. (2004). Emerging perspectives on distinctions between romantic love and sexual desire. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 13, 116–119.

David Terburg; Henk Aarts and Jack van Honk. Testosterone Affects Gaze Aversion From Angry Faces Outside of Conscious Awareness. Psychological Science. 2012; 23 (5) 459-463.
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Hietanen, J. K. (1999). Does your gaze direction and head orientation shift my visual attention? Neuroreport, 10, 3443–3447.

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Kellerman, J., Lewis, J., & Laird, J. D. (1989). Looking and loving: The effects of mutual gaze on feelings of romantic love. Journal of Research in Personality, 23, 145–161.

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Arrogance or arrogant body language, Boredom body language, Disengagement body language, Escape movements, Eye Language, Indicators of disinterest (IOD), Intention movements, Pensive displays, Rejection body language, Stressful body language, Submissive body language

Body Language of Looking Away

by Chris • October 24, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Looking Away

Cue: Looking Away

Synonym(s): Not Maintaining Eye Contact, Roaming Eyes.

Description: When the eyes roam around a room during a conversation or when eye contact would normally be expected to persist.

In One Sentence: Looking away is a sign of concentration, disinterest, submission, or shyness.

How To Use it: Research has shown that looking at someone while they speak makes it far more difficult to concentrate that looking away. Therefore, break eye contact when trying to process complex ideas. When kids look away, also respect their decision as they may be doing so to better process your ideas, than your facial expressions.

In dating, looking away can signal shyness or intimidation. Understanding this can save negative feelings. Women can use looking away to signal their sexual interest in men as it signals coyness. This is especially powerful when eye contact is broken by looking down rather than looking left or right (signals scanning). Men can also indicate interest by shying away from eye contact, however, it is not as constructive when used by men, as women do not usually find submissive men as alluring.

Finally, use looking away as a signal of respect. Research shows that dominant people are more free to make and hold eye contact, especially persistent eye contact. To show your boss that you are willing to follow his lead, break eye contact more often and first. This signal will score points as it indicates a desire to please.

Context: a) General b) Business c) Dating.

Verbal Translation: a) b) “I’m thinking about something and need to concentrate which is why I’m not taking in any more visual cues from you at this time.” a) b) c) “I’m disinterested in what you are saying and trying to find an escape route or something more interesting to look at.” c) “I’m intimidated by your dominance, intimidated by your beauty, or repulsed by you. This is why I can’t keep my eyes on you.”

Variant: See Eye Aversion, Gaze Avoidance and Wandering Eyes, Staring or The Evil Eye.

Cue In Action: a) He frequently broke eye contact to check his watch or the contents of his brief case as the topic of conversation did not excite him. b) While discussing the fine details of the proposal, the junior associate frequently looked away or down to process and contemplate the information.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Not maintaining eye contact is a signal of comfort when done within context as it shows that a person is lacking fear. It frequently shows disrespect, especially during a conversation, as it indicates an aloof attitude. Eyes that look away can be contemplating or processing complex information or seeking escape routes due to boredom. Eyes can also look away because they wish to submit which is more usual for a woman to do when in the presence of a man or when a child is faced with a power authority. Eyes look away when they are repulsed or intimidated by beauty.

Eyes that look away can also be due to fear of aggression such as when faced with a domineering confrontation. A subordinate individual will often make less eye contact than a more dominant one. This indicates a desire to submit.

Eye language is important as it is often more indicative of intent than other body language. Good eye contact significantly improves the chances of making a sale during business, but at worst, helps convey better meaning and understanding.

The most effective use of eye contact is in fleeting glances, which at first might seem counterintuitive. However, prolonged eye contact is seen as rude, untrustworthy, threatening or even aggressive. When eye contact is piercing in a client, it usually means that a sale is being resisted. This is viewed as, “staring you down,” and shows a desire to find flaws in the sales pitch.

Poor eye contact or prolonged periods of looking away means the reverse; indifference or outright disinterest. This is why brief glances followed by looking away, or at the material at hand, is most appropriate in a sale, and when done by a client, the best indication that a sales call is being well received.

Cue Cluster: This particular eye language is dynamic. When someone submits they will avert eyes coupled with closing up their bodies from attack with head lowered, shoulders turned in and taking on a smaller profile. When someone is repulsed or disinterested, eyes will avert coupled with picking lint, checking the contents of bags, reduced agreement indicators, eye rolling, and so forth. Watch for courtship cues to measure interest when eye contact is absent. Coy looks, blushing, grooming postures, head tilt, coupled with averted eyes and cast upward to show sexual interest.

Body Language Category: Arrogance or arrogant body language, Boredom, Disengagement, Escape movements, Eye Language, Indicators of disinterest (IOD), Intention movements, Pensive displays, Rejection body language, Stressful body language, Submissive body language.

Resources:

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Argyle, M., and Ingham, R. 1972. Gaze, mutual gaze, and proximity. Semiotica, 1, 32–49.

Argyle, M. and Cook, M. Gaze and Mutual Gaze. London: Cambridge University Press, 1976.

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Jenkins, R., Beaver, J.D., & Calder, A.J. (2006). I thought you were looking at me: Direction-specific aftereffects in gaze perception. Psychological Science, 17, 506–513.

Jenkins, R., Keane, J., & Calder, A.J. (2007, August). From your eyes only: Gaze adaptation from averted eyes and averted heads. Paper presented at the Thirtieth European Conference on Visual Perception, Arezzo, Italy.

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Auto contact or self touching, Autoerotic touching, Courtship display, Emotional body language, Indicator Of Sexual Interest (IOsI), Intention movements, Microgestures, Nervous Body Language, Pacifying body language, Stressful body language

Body Language of Lip Licking

by Chris • October 24, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Lip Licking

Cue: Lip Licking

Synonym(s): Moistening The Lips, Wetting The Lips, Frequent Lip Licking, Excessive Lick Licking.

Description: The tongue is run over the lips usually repeatedly or in succession.

In One Sentence: Lip licking demonstrates a need for pacifying or, in the right context, sexual interest.

How To Use it: While habitual lip licking should be avoided since it shows anxiety, women can use obvious lip licking coupled with eye contact to show sexual interest. The cue must be done in context, with focus gaze, eyes should make eye contact or be looking squarely to body parts they find arousing. When done correctly, the signal can tell men that there is unequivocal sexual interest. This will cause men to pursue if the feeling is reciprocal.

Lip licking can also be used to show others that you are getting ready to speak. This is made obvious as we often moisten the lips to facilitate communication.

Context: a) General b) Dating.

Verbal Translation: “I’m licking my lips to moisten them, to prepare for speaking or kissing, or to sooth myself.”

Variant: When pacifying, the tongue can be run over the teeth to pacify. The tongue sometimes pokes out of the mouth during periods of high concentration and focus. See Running The Tongue Over The Teeth or Lips.

Cue In Action: a) She wanted to interject. Just before speaking, she wet her lips and parted them slightly. a) He was getting ready for the exam and repeatedly licked his lips in anticipation. He needed to sooth his excited nerves. b) She was hot for the guy in the suite. Subconsciously, she licked her lips while her eyes darted toward his mouth.

Meaning and/or Motivation: An increase in lip licking is due to a decrease in saliva production which is in turn caused by high stress. Conversely, high blood flow to the lips is due to sexual arousal in a dating context. Alternatively, licking the lips is in effort to moisten them to speak.

When done by women in courtship lip licking indicates sexual interest especially if done frequently, with eye contact and in the proper context. Lips are said to imitate the female labia and licking them draws attention by both making them shiny, and also by movement – of the tongue. Lips are also licked just before kissing and can be a kiss indicator if the lips are licked while looking at the lips of another.

Repeated or excessive licking serves to pacify and sooth negative feelings. In this gesture, the tongue can be seen darting out of the mouth, swiping the top lip on the way and curling under to swipe the bottom lip as it reenters. A person that licks as part of his idiosyncratic behaviour is usually one that has underlying emotional turmoil.

The lips can sometimes be licked as a prelude before speaking to make communication easier. Other times, lip licking has no emotional meaning at all and only serves a practical purpose – to moisten dry or chapped lips.

Cue Cluster: Cues associated with lip licking will depend on the context. Usually lip licking in dating signifies arousal if eye contact anchors the cue. Eyes that look toward a man’s mouth is a good indication that a kiss is welcomed. Lip licking before presenting to an audience often shows anxiety and stress due to a dry mouth, as does excessive lip licking during a stressful event.

Body Language Category: Auto contact or self touching, Autoerotic touching, Courtship displays, Emotional body language, Stroking body language, Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Intention movements, Microgestures, Nervous body language, Pacifying body language, Stressful body language.

Resources:

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*No Photo, Anxious body language, Clenching and gripping, Depressive body language, Energy Displacement, Frustration or frustrated body language, Hostile body language, Intention movements, Leaked or involuntary body language, Low confidence body language, Masked emotions, Microgestures, Negative body language, Nervous Body Language, Oral displacement activities, Pacifying body language, Pseudo-infantile gestures, Stressful body language, Threat displays

Body Language of Lip Chewing or Chewing The Lips

by Chris • October 23, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Lip Chewing or Chewing The Lips

Cue: Lip Chewing or Chewing The Lips

Synonym(s): Chewing The Lips, Biting The Lip, Lip Nibble, Cheek Biting, Lip-to-Lip Bite, Lip Chewing.

Description: a) The lower or upper lip is bitten. b) The lips are brought tightly together against the teeth as if the lips are biting each other in a lip-to-lip bite. It is visible as the lips come inward slightly. c) The teeth bite the insides of the cheeks or the corner of the mouth visible as the mouth is contorted sideways to bring the cheek toward the teeth. The lips may purse and also bounce up and down as if chewing food.

In One Sentence: Lip chewing is a negative thought indicator.

How To Use it: One should avoid chewing on the lips as it tells others that you are suffering from negative internal emotions. Feigning or actual negative emotions, on the other hand, can incentivize others to offer care and support. Therefore, the signal has applications as an honest gesture of suffering.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m pacifying and punishing myself due to the negative thoughts and feelings I carry around with me.”

Variant: When pacifying is necessary, people find comfort in biting other objects such as pencils, their fingernails or the stems of their glasses. They may also pull and pinch at themselves. See Lip Biting or Biting The Lip, Lip Picking.

Cue In Action: She was on antidepressant medication and seeing a shrink but even in benign social situations, she would be found fretting as she chewed the insides of her cheeks.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Sucking, plucking, picking or chewing the lips, rubbing them with a finger or thumb are all forms of auto touching. Confident individuals would never consider using this type of behaviour out of insecurity.

When someone feels anxious they habitually find an outlet via chewing. Usually this is a pencil or pen, fingers or finger nails but when nothing else is available or as a default, the lips or sides of the mouth are chewed.

This is a subconscious return to the mouthing of a breast and reminds adults of the tactile pacifier which it served in infancy. The lips often serve as outlets for anxiety because they are always readily available unlike a pencil or other soother. Lip and cheek biting can also be a form of self-restraint, though usually not if it is done persistently, but rather suddenly in response to a certain message or stimuli. Alternatively, lip chewing can signify the desire to act out aggressively where the pain is turned inward rather than expressed outwardly.

Cue Cluster: When someone is anxious, expect their bodies to reflect a desire to turn inwards such as eyes turned downward and glazed over, head down and the shoulders slump. Emotional downtime, when people escape inward while in public, is characterized by pauses in breathing, subtle chewing of the lips, or very brief eye freezes or glazing over.

Body Language Category: Anxious body language, Clenching and gripping, Depressive body language, Energy Displacement, Frustration or frustrated body language, Hostile body language, Intention movements, Leaked or involuntary body language, Low confidence body language, Masked emotions, Microgestures, Negative body language, Nervous body language, Oral displacement activities, Pseudo-infantile gestures, Pacifying body language, Stressful body language, Threat displays.

Resources:

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Adaptors, Amplifier, Barriers, Blocking or Shielding, Body cross, Body pointing, Closed body language, Defensive body language, Idiosyncratic body language, Indicator of interest (IoI), Intention movements, Undivided attention (nonverbal)

Body Language of Leg Crossing and Leg Crossing Direction

by Chris • October 23, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Leg Crossing and Leg Crossing Direction

Cue: Leg Crossing and Leg Crossing Direction.

Synonym(s): Crossing The Legs, Thigh-Thigh Cross.

Description: A proper sitting posture where one leg crosses over the knee of the other leg.

In One Sentence: Leg crossing is a closed body posture demonstrating the desire to protect privacy.

How To Use it: Women should make it a habit to cross the legs regardless of the type of attire they wear, but especially so if they are wearing short skirts or dresses or are trying to appear feminine. Our current culture affords women the liberty to comport themselves however they see fit, however, this does speak directly toward our values. In other words, if women wish to be perceived as “lady-like” and feminine, rather than masculine (the current default), crossing the legs is an apt nonverbal display.

Men also benefit from crossing the legs, much like women. When men cross their legs rather than splay them open, they appear more proper and sophisticated, not to mention respectful.

As always, one must use body language to create the results that are most desired.

Context: a) General, b) Dating.

Verbal Translation: “I’m somewhat reserved so I’m closing off my body and aiming my legs toward someone I like or away from someone I dislike.”

Variant: Sometimes people are not physically able or comfortable crossing their legs in more than one direction or crossing them at all. If a person habitually crosses their legs in one direction, their tendons and muscles will stretch and conform to suite that direction best. This then inhibits them from crossing in another direction because they feel less comfortable doing so. Therefore, we should be careful to watch for adjoining cues, the context, and a person’s baseline before drawing definitive causal conclusions with respect to leg cross direction.

See European Leg Cross and Figure Four Seating Position (The) or The Ankle-Knee Cross and Leg Twine.

Cue In Action: a) While the two girls chatted, each had their legs crossed toward each other as if cutting out all others from the conversation. b) Dave and his new girlfriend sat chatting on the sofa when a younger more attractive girl sat down next to Dave. Subconsciously Dave began to lean toward her, shifted his body over and even crossed his legs in her direction rather than toward his girlfriend.

Meaning and/or Motivation: The legs crossed toward something or someone indicates attraction in that direction. In other words, the legs are propelled in the direction in which we think. Couples that have a strong relationship will usually cross their legs toward each other. Enemies will usually cross away, context permitting of course. Lovers sitting on a couch together with their legs crossed toward each other, bodies leaning inward, with their arms meeting over the back of the couch are said to be in a “loving circle.”

Be cautious about reading the meaning of leg cross with respect to direction as there is no solid evidence that people habitually cross their legs toward or away from people they like and don’t like respectively.

Having the legs crossed is often a signal of a closed attitude as the leg crosses over the mid-point of the body. Compare legs crossed to having the legs opened or legs cross in the figure four posture. Legs open is more open and more dominant. However, women who wear skirts should cross their legs so as not to appear overtly sexual.

Leg crossing is often motivated by the desire to increase comfort and therefore simply a natural posture in a person’s repertoire. However, if a postural change occurs suddenly and due to a particular stimulus, we should pay particular attention. The legs may have been drawn in the direction of the attractive stimulus – be it a person or event.

Similar to the leg twine, a thigh-thigh cross is a tight version of leg crossing where the thigh is brought up really high and the legs pressed tightly together. This can signal a closed attitude and restrained emotion. It might also signify a desire to pacify by pressing the genitals tightly together. It is more commonly found in women, but particularly salient when done by men. If a bounce is present, it might indicate a desire for pacifying through sexual self-stimulation.

Cue Cluster: When the legs are crossed toward another person expect to see bodies leaning in, shoulders and head turned toward and good eye contact. The opposite is found when the legs are crossed away. If they are not, then we can assume that the leg cross is more due to comfort or that a person is splitting attention between two equally attractive stimulus.

Body Language Category: Adaptors, Amplifier, Barriers, Body cross, Body pointing, Blocking or Shielding, Closed body language, Defensive body language, Idiosyncratic body language, Indicator of interest (IoI), Intention movements, Undivided attention (nonverbal).

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Amplifier, Attentive body language, Body pointing, Confident body language, Disengagement body language, Dislike (nonverbal), Distancing or moving away, Dominant body language, Escape movements, Expansive movements, Indicator of interest (IoI), Indicator Of Sexual Interest (IOsI), Indicators of disinterest (IOD), Intention movements, Liking, Low confidence body language, Power play

Body Language of Leaning In and Leaning Out

by Chris • October 23, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Leaning In and Leaning Out

Cue: Leaning In and Leaning Out.

Synonym(s): Pecking Forward, Leaning Out.

Description: Leaning forward or away from another person (or thing).

In One Sentence: Leaning in and leaning out signal interest and disinterest respectively.

How To Use it: Use leaning in and leaning out to show your level of interest. Leaning in shows people that you are interested in them, their ideas and/or what they have to say. Leaning out sends the reverse message.

Leaning language is applicable in business, dating and amongst friends.

For example, leaning in toward your dating partner shows him or her that you wish to gain intimacy. In a business meeting or presentation sit at the edge of your seat and lean in toward the presenter to show them you are keen on the information. With friends at lunch, sit facing them and engage them with conversation by moving forward. These postures all work in reverse to show disinterest. Additionally, leaning in and out can be done while standing and send a similar message. Leaning in also shows a readiness for action. This is also a positive message – especially in business and dating.

Context: a) Dating, b) General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m interested in what you are saying and am supplicating to your dominance and ability to draw me in closer to you, rather than you, to me. That’s why I’m leaning forward.”

Variant: See Head Away.

Cue In Action: a) Dave was really into Stacey. Throughout lunch, he tried to engage her as much as possible but found the more he leaned in, the more she leaned out and away. It was clear that he was more into her, than vice versa. b) While presenting to the crowd, she found half of the students leaning in and engaged, while the other half leaned out and away. She knew which students where most keen on the topic from the way their bodies leaned.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Leaning in too much, also referred to as “pecking” forward has been advanced by the pick-up community as a term describing men who appear needy and who lack control of the dating situation rather than dominant and chase-worthy.

Pecking forward can appear in any setting and shows which of the two are most interested in the other or whom is most dominant and in control. Or, sometimes more aptly, leaning away tells us which person is more apathetic to the relationship and apathy often creates control and ability to dominate. Dominant people will tend to lean back and take up space, but someone who lacks confidence or whom has a great interest in another person will try to engage them more by leaning in toward them. This tends to have the reverse result to what is intended.

Leaning back will force others to engage you, instead of the other way around (cat and mouse game.) Talking quietly also has the affect of forcing people to move closer to you, thereby increasing your status.

Cue Cluster: Couple leaning in and leaning out with other nonverbal cues to determine level of engagement. Leaning in should find itself with eye contact, nodding, smiling, smooth flowing conversation and head tilted to the side – this shows engagement. Leaning back, and disengagement should find itself with lack of eye contact, lack of nodding, deadpan face, stuttered conversation and head-on rather than head tilted.

Body Language Category:

Leaning In: Amplifier, Attentive, Body pointing, Indicator of interest (IoI),
Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Intention movements, Low confidence body language, Liking.

Leaning Away: Amplifier, Body pointing, Confident body language, Disengagement, Dislike (nonverbal), Distancing or moving away, Dominant body language Escape movements, Expansive movements, Indicators of disinterest (IOD), Indicators of sexual disinterest (IOsD), Intention movements, Power play.

Resources:

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Aggressive body language, Amplifier, Body pointing, Displacement behaviour, Enthusiasm (nonverbal), Hostile body language, Intention movements, Negative body language, Threat displays

Body Language of Jabbing The Finger

by Chris • October 23, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Jabbing The Finger

Cue: Jabbing The Finger

Synonym(s): Finger Jabbing, Foot Jabbing

Description: A type of finger pointing but with added emphasis and direction, usually aimed at a person who is being spoken to, and repeated rhythmically. At times, a finger might actually physically make contact with another person to make the cue more salient.

In One Sentence: Finger jabbing is a rude gesture symbolizing being poked by a spear.

How To Use it: Use finger jabbing when you want to use nonverbal aggression to make a point. Jabbing the finger with every point tells others that you should be taken seriously through force and intimidation. In an emotionally charged debate one can use the finger jab to drive your point home.

On the other hand, to appear more rational, drop the finger jab and instead use a calm voice and fluid hand movements to make a proper “point.”

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I trying to make a point that I feel strongly about. I’m jabbing my fingers toward you like I would jab a spear. I really want to drive my idea home.”

Variant: The feet are sometimes jabbed or kicked in the direction of other people or during heated situations. Other times, a finger only points in the direction of another person and lacks a jabbing motion. Also see Baton Gesture.

Cue In Action: It was nearing blows. They both exclaimed their case with extreme enthusiasm. At one point, she was shouting and jabbing at close quarters and encroaching on his personal space.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Finger jabbing is a rude gesture. It is as if the person is being stabbed with a spear, especially if is present in a particularly negative or heated context. The voracity and amplitude of the jab outlines the degree of emotion present.

Other times, a jab can be a playful expression between say an uncle and his nephew to tickle his sides and have him giggle.

Cue Cluster: Expect to see violations of personal space, loud voices and shouting, wide focus intense eyes, erratic arm movements, puffing of the chest, arms akimbo and chin jutting.

Body Language Category: Amplifier, Aggressive body language, Body pointing, Displacement behaviour, Enthusiasm (nonverbal), Hostile body language, Intention movements, Negative body language, Threat displays.

Resources:

Axtell, Roger E. Gestures: The Do’s and Taboos of Body Language Around the World. 1997. Wiley.

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Arsenio, W. F., Cooperman, S., & Lover, A. Affective Predictors of Preschooler’s Aggression and Peer Acceptance: Direct and Indirect Effects. Developmental Psychology. 2000. 36: 438-448.

Bjorkqvist, K., Osterrnan, K. and Lagerspetz, K.M.I. (1994) ‘Sex Differences in Covert
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Freedman, Norbert ; Blass, Thomas ; Rifkin, Arthur ; Quitkin, Frederic Lanzetta, John T. (editor). Body movements and the verbal encoding of aggressive affect. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 1973. 26(1): 72-85.

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Gray, Hilary (1978). “Learning to Take an Object from the Mother.” In Andrew Lock, ed., Action, Gesture and Symbol: The Emergence of Language (New York: Academic Press), pp. 159-82.

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Amplifier, Confused body language, Defensive body language, Dislike (nonverbal), Distancing or moving away, Escape movements, Intention movements, Rejection body language

Body Language of Head Away

by Chris • October 22, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Head Away

Cue: Head Away

Synonym(s): Head Pulled Back, Head Turned Away, Tilting Head Away.

Description: When the head is moved away rather than toward a person. This may be away from a person, object or even an idea.

In One Sentence: Moving the head away is a signal that a person is trying to escape an idea or another person.

How To Use it: Use the direction of your head (head language) to show other people that you don’t like their ideas. This is a low risk body language cue because it avoids using potentially volatile words. By moving the head away, it tells others that you do not like what they have to say. This can work in business, dating and amongst friends.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: a) “I don’t like what I’m hearing, but my feet can not be moved away, lest I seem rude, so instead my head will be doing the escaping by moving away to create more distance between me and the thing I don’t like.” b) “I think you are too close to me so I’m leaning back to create more space between the two of us.” c) “I hate you, but feel like I shouldn’t just bolt away so I’m creating a space buffer by titling my head away.” d) “You have bad breath.”

Variant: Can happen sharply as if being taken aback or gradually as if being encroached upon. Conversely the head can move toward or be bowed down submissively showing agreement. See Blading Body Language, Body Angling or Ventral Displays, Toe Pointing or Pointed Toe.

Cue In Action: While engaged in conversation Jill shirked and pulled her chin in and turned her head to the side. She disagreed with her friend’s strong political assertion.

Meaning and/or Motivation: The head will be moved away when there is disagreement but also when the person is not able or permitted to escape entirely from a situation. Thus, it shows a desire for more space. A person might move their head back when someone is speaking with them too closely and violating their personal space, they have bad breath, are speaking too loudly, or they don’t like them for personal reasons.

This is a form of body withdrawal similar to ventral denial, or orienting the shoulders away from things people dislike and toward things they like. When someone wants to exit, the head might look toward the door or to another person.

Cue Cluster: The cue might be accompanied by a grimace facial expression, eye and mouth constriction, torso denial, stepping backward if possible and palm up expression as if wanting a better explanation.

Body Language Category: Amplifier, Confused, Defensive, Dislike (nonverbal), Distancing or moving away, Escape movements, Intention movements, Rejection body language.

Resources:

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Aggressive body language, Amplifier, Anger body language, Clenching and gripping, Closed body language, Dislike (nonverbal), Frustration or frustrated body language, Hostile body language, Intention movements, Masked emotions, Microgestures, Negative body language, Stubborn body language, Threat displays

Body Language of Hand Clenching or Fist Clenched

by Chris • October 22, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Hand Clenching or Fist Clenched

Cue: Hand Clenching or Fist Clenching

Synonym(s): Clenching and Gripping, Gripping and Clenching, Hand Wringing.

Description: A tightening, gripping, or balling, no matter how subtle or forceful, of the hands. At times the fingers may become interlaced appearing as if in prayer, which might even be the case. Pressure can be so great that the fingers can even blanch as blood flow is impeded.

In One Sentence: Clenching the hands or balling them in a fist is a sign of repressed aggression.

How To Use it: Ball and clench the fist if you wish to show others that you are resisting the urge to strike out. The gesture can be feigned as an anger-bluff in order to receive better treatment. Waving a clenched fist tells others that they should take you seriously lest you lash out with physical force.

Naturally, this nonverbal signal should be used with care as physical aggression, or even threat of physical aggression is strongly frowned upon.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I really want to strike out at you due to my emotional distress which is why my hands are balling up into a fist, but instead I’m going to resist because it’s inappropriate to hit people.”

Variant: Other forms of clenching includes gripping the wrist of the opposite hand in behind the back, or wringing the hands out like a wet article of clothing, clenching the jaws tight or even talking through the teeth, cracking knuckles, pulling the hair or even plucking it, pinching one’s self, and clenching the fists by turning them into a ball are all forms of clenching and gripping.

See Interlaced Fingers, Hand Gripping Upper Arm or Wrist Behind Back.

Cue In Action: a) President Nixon was videotaped intensely balling his fist such that his knuckles turned white during a press conference called to discuss what was supposed to be a temporary incursion into Cambodia. The rest of his body was confident and his voice was smooth, yet his hands gave his restraint and dishonesty away.

b) A deadline was fast approaching when she was interrupted by her boss. She had to be polite so she couldn’t tell him to buzz off. She clenched her fists and rested them on her lap until he had finished.

c) Things didn’t start off well as the teacher rested her fist balled up on her desk knuckles down as she stood over the delinquent student. Immediately, the student showed signs of resistance by clenching her jaw. When the punishment came due, the student mirrored the balled fist of the teacher and brought it to her mouth to stifle an outburst. To show her persistent disagreement, the student rested her forearms against the table and maintained her tightly clenched fist.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Holding the fists clenched shows aggression, defensiveness, frustration, restrain, and sometimes a readiness to attack.

Hand wringing, when the hands are clasp one inside the other and tightly clamped and twisted on each other signifies high anxiety, stress or low confidence and is a pacifying behaviour. It can be done so aggressively that the fingers or knuckles turn white.

Fist clenching happens very naturally and subconsciously; a slip of the hand so to speak. Women can even be seen doing this while being verbally berated by a partner. Of course, holding a tight fist does not necessarily mean they intent to strike out, rather it shows just the opposite – that their minds are dealing with a dilemma, of which social norms prevent physical resolutions.

So very rarely are we allowed to fully express our emotions. In fact, one of the most important lessons we learn early in life is self control and this is exactly what happens when the fist is balled, clenched, but resists striking. We learn very early on that it’s not acceptable to throw fits and tantrums so we do the next best thing – we get very close to striking, but stop at the last second.

The height of the clenched fist is related to the strength of the negative mood. Hands can be clenched low on the lap or high near the face with elbows propped up on a table. If hands are clenched over the mouth, someone is probably holding back from saying something. If hands are clasped on the lap it indicates that someone is being cordial and polite, but would prefer to be doing something else – thus showing careful restraint.

Cue Cluster: Fist clenching body language is coupled with finger pointing or flared nostrils more technically termed “nasal wing dilation”, overall tensing of the body or extreme body loosening to ready for fighting, tightening of the jaw and lips (called “lip occlusion”), quivering in the lips, frowning, furrowing, or lowering the eyebrows, dilated pupils, squinting of the eyes, crotch displays such as legs open, sneering or flared nostrils.

Body Language Category: Amplifier, Aggressive body language, Anger, Clenching and gripping, Closed body language, Dislike (nonverbal), Frustration or frustrated body language, Hostile body language, Intention movements, Masked emotions, Microgestures, Negative body language, Stubborn or stubbornness, Threat displays.

Resources:

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Comfort body language, Courtship display, Indicator Of Sexual Interest (IOsI), Intention movements, Intimate touching, Liking

Body Language of Full Body Hug or Embrace

by Chris • October 22, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Full Body Hug or Embrace

Cue: Full Body Hug

Synonym(s): Embrace, Hip-To-Hip Hug, Sexual Hug, Hugging Sexually.

Description: This is one of two types of hugs. In this hug, the chests of each person makes contact, but more telling is the pressing together of the hips.

In One Sentence: The full body hug signifies sexual interest and high intimacy.

How To Use it: Testing the willingness to take part in a full hug can indicate the level of attraction between two people. For example, at the end of a date, a man may offer a kiss on the cheek and come in for a hug. If she permits their hips to connect, it’s a strong indication that she truly finds him attractive. On the other hand, should she maintain separation between her hips and his, he should assume that things are progressing more slowly. A large distance, on the other hand, indicates platonic feelings or even dislike. Therefore, the degree of separation between the hips is a good indication of the level of romance.

Context: Dating.

Verbal Translation: “I like you enough to press my entire body against yours, including our hips and genitals.”

Variant: See Hug.

Cue In Action: Dave and Scarlet had been dating for a while. When they hugged their torsos engulfed each others and their hip were tightly pressed together. On their first date, they only leaned in and touched each others shoulders together. Their feelings for each other had changed.

Meaning and/or Motivation: The full body hug is reserved for sexual partners and occurs with full chest-to-chest and hip-to-hip contact. The meaning is sexual in nature. Those who hug by pressing their hips together are telling each other that they are comfortable touching genital-to-genital.

The full hug is a reliable indicator of sexual interest and is never seen with family or friends. Simply by examining how a pair hugs, can tell others what sort of feelings are present. When family members and friends hug they will press their shoulders together and force their hips back and away to protect them from contact. A hug test at the end of the date will tell prospective mates what level of attraction is present.

Cue Cluster: This is a powerful and reliable stand-alone cue of intimacy and requires no additional cues.

Body Language Category: Courtship displays, Comfort body language, Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Intimate touching, Intention movements, Liking.

Resources:

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