Category: Security blankets

Amplifier, Auto contact or self touching, Boredom body language, Courtship display, Displacement behaviour, Embarrassment (nonverbal), Emotional body language, Idiosyncratic body language, Indicator Of Sexual Interest (IOsI), Low confidence body language, Oral displacement activities, Pacifying body language, Pensive displays, Pseudo-infantile gestures, Security blankets, Shy nonverbal, Worry body language

Body Language of Suckling

by Chris • October 28, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Suckling

Cue: Suckling.

Synonym(s): Mouthing An Object, Chewing On A Pen, Pen Sucking, Sucking On A Pen (or other), Oral Fixation.

Description: When any object including pens or fingers are brought to the lips and chewed or sucked on.

In One Sentence: Suckling indicates a need for self-soothing due to negative feelings.

How To Use it: While suckling can help produce comfort, it is not considered a cue that should be used in full view of others as it is unlikely to produce a desirable impression.

Context: a) General. b) Dating.

Verbal Translation: “I’m in need of an oral fixation to calm my nerves so I’m suckling – on my finger or pen, as I did when I was a baby.”

Variant: See Hand to Mouth, Lip Chewing or Chewing The Lips, Hair Play, Nail Biting.

Cue In Action: a) Debbie was a shy, timid person, she kept her gaze low, easily blushed, and was quiet around strangers. This was especially so when put on the spot or questioned. At her desk, she habitually mouthed pens, paper clips, or chewed on her fingers. a) During the exam, the student mouthed her pen as she suffered through a question she wasn’t familiar with. b) Debbie was thinking about Mark and subconsciously tapped the end of her pen against her lower lip. The pen was a phallic replacement.

Meaning and/or Motivation: The mouth and lips are full of nerve endings which, when stimulated, provides tactile gratification and comfort. However, anytime the fingers go to the mouth such as playing with the side of the mouth or lip, it’s a retrogressive action indicating insecurity. These types of gestures are called “pacifying behaviours” because they are designed to reduce anxiety when someone is exposed to something distressing. Pacifying language tells us that the mind is not at ease, and it is attempting to restore the body’ natural state.

Suckling body language essentially turns us back into babies or at least indicates to others our need for self-soothing due to emotional stress.

Adults that are tense or anxious will play with their mouth or lip. Mouthing a pen, cigarette, hair, and even a piece of gum during emotional distress are substitutes for the mother’s breast. They remind us of early childhood mouthing. Sucking, like plucking, picking or chewing the lips or rubbing them with a finger or thumb are all forms of auto touching. Confident individuals would never consider using these types of security blankets.

Alternatively, an object to the mouth can represent a phallic purpose. Subconscious controls can lead one to bring an object to the mouth during sexual thoughts. The pen for example, can be a substitute for a penis during arousal.

Cue Cluster: Watch for other negative emotional cues such as pinching the skin, scratching, smoothing clothing, eye aversion, head lowered, blushing, trembling, attempt to exit (escape movements), ventral denial, turning the body away, sweating and so forth.

Body Language Category: Amplifier, Auto contact or self touching, Boredom body language, Courtship displays, Displacement behaviour, Embarrassment (nonverbal), Emotional body language, Idiosyncratic body language, Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Low confidence body language, Oral displacement activities, Pensive displays, Pseudo-infantile gestures, Pacifying body language, Security blankets, Shy nonberbal, Worry body language.

Resources:

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Lehman, E.B., Holtz, B.A., & Aikey, K.L. (1995). Temperament and self-soothing behaviour in children: Object attachment, thumbsucking, and pacifier use. Early Education and Development, 6(1), 53–72.

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Boredom body language, Displacement behaviour, Pacifying body language, Security blankets, Stressful body language

Body Language of Playing With Objects

by Chris • October 27, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Playing With Objects

Cue: Playing With Objects

Synonym(s): Giggling Change, Opening And Closing Glasses, Running Fingers Over Zippers, Running The Hands Over Stubble, Playing With Keys, Rolling A Ring Around The Finger, Object Play.

Description: Playing with objects such as a set of keys, ring, change, zippers, or any other artifact that is easy and conveniently located.

In One Sentence: Playing with objects is a way to pacify.

How To Use it: Playing with objects can give others a negative impression of you, however, it does serve a useful purpose. It provides busy hands with an outlet to release emotional tension or placate boredom. A set of keys in a pocket can be manipulated to give the hands something to do while releasing stress relieving hormones through tactile stimulation.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m uneasy, insecure, bored, and need to pacify myself by keeping my hands busy.”

Variant: See Masked Arm Cross, Fondling A Cylindrical Object, Covering The Neck Dimple or Hand to Lower Neck.

Cue In Action: a) The widower played with his wristwatch. It provided him a sense of comfort during stressful events. b) While waiting for the bus, he rolled his ring around his finger due to sheer boredom. c) When she couldn’t think of the answer on the test she twisted the eraser back and forth trying to squeeze the answer out of her mind. d) She always felt awkward on the subway and made a habit of placing her handbag on her lap. When someone she didn’t approve of sat near her, she opened her purse and sorted through her belongings to displace her negative feelings.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Playing with objects is a sign that the body needs to be pacified and is suffering from inner turmoil and discomfort or outright boredom. Most are rooted in infantile actions such as playing with a favourite toy, hugging a blanket, sucking a soother and being comforted by mom or dad. The object keeps the hands busy and helps pacify by burning up some of the excess negative energy. Playing with objects creates a soothing touch over the fingers or palms helping to release positive hormones further reinforcing the behaviour.

If the object belongs to another person, it might signal the desire to be with them and in effort to reestablish closeness. If a loved one has passed away, they may stroke a necklace given to them by this person. This too is a signal that insecurity is taking place and they are seeking their affiliation to the person for support.

Many different forms of object play exist. A person might jiggle change in their pocket, play with a pen or jewelry, open and close the arms of glasses, adjust clothing, shaking a shoe, smoking, or running fingers through the hair.

Cue Cluster: The context, more so than other cues will decide the true meaning of playing with objects.

Body Language Category: Boredom body language, Displacement behaviour, Pacifying body language, Security blankets, Stressful body language.

Resources:

Argo, J. J., Dahl, D. W., & Morales, A. C. (2006). Consumer contamination: How consumers react to products touched by others. Journal of Marketing, 70(April), 81–94.

Almerigogna, Jehanne; James Ost; Lucy Akehurst and Mike Fluck. How Interviewers’ Nonverbal Behaviors Can Affect Children’s Perceptions And Suggestibility. Journal of Experimental Child Psychology. 2008. 100:17-39.
http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/get-children-tell-truth-using-body-language/

Argo, J. J., Dahl, D. W., & Morales, A. C. (2006). Consumer contamination: How consumers react to products touched by others. Journal of Marketing, 70(April), 81–94.
Farley, James; Risko, Evan F; Kingstone, Alan. Everyday Attention And Lecture Retention: The Effects Of Time, Fidgeting, And Mind Wandering. Frontiers In Psychology, 2013; 4: 619
http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/mind-wandering-fidgeting-and-attention/

Berridge CW,Mitton E, ClarkW, Roth RH. 1999. Engagement in a non-escape (displacement) behavior elicits a selective and lateralized suppression of frontal cortical dopaminergic utilization in stress. Synapse 32:187–197.

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Claus, B., & Warlop, L. (2010). Once bitten, twice shy: Attitudes towards humans spill over to anthropomorphizable products. Jacksonville, FL: Association for Consumer Research.

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Leanne ten Brinke; Dayna Stimson and Dana R. Carney. Some Evidence For Unconscious Lie Detection. Published online before print March 21, 2014, doi: 10.1177/0956797614524421.
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Lehman, E.B., Arnold, B.E., & Reeves, S.L. (1995). Attachments to blankets, teddy bears, and other nonsocial objects: A child’s perspective. The Journal of Genetic Psychology, 156(4), 443–459.

Lehman, E.B., Arnold, B.E., Reeves, S.L., & Steir, A. (1996). Maternal beliefs about children’s attachments to soft objects. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 66(3), 427–436.

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Peck, J., & Wiggins, J. (2006). It just feels good: Consumers’ affective response to touch and its influence on persuasion. Journal of Marketing, 70(Oct), 56–69.

Passman, R.H. (1987). Attachments to inanimate objects: Are children who have security blankets insecure? Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 55(6), 825–830.

Passman, R.H., & Halonen (1979). A developmental survey of young children’s attachments to inanimate objects. The Journal of Genetic Psychology, 134, 165–178.

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Troisi A (1999) Ethological research in clinical psychiatry: the study of nonverbal behaviour during interviews. Neurosci Biobehav Rev 23: 905–913.

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Blocking or Shielding, Displacement behaviour, Emotional body language, Idiosyncratic body language, Leaked or involuntary body language, Low confidence body language, Negative body language, Nervous Body Language, Pacifying body language, Pseudo-infantile gestures, Security blankets, Stressful body language, Suspicious body language, Worry body language

Body Language of Nail Biting

by Chris • October 24, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Nail Biting

Cue: Nail Biting

Synonym(s): Fingernail Biting, Cuticle Biting, Nail Picking, Biting Fingernails.

Description: Biting or picking at the fingernails. Can be so sever that it results in bleeding, disfigurement, or unsightly nails down to the quick.

In One Sentence: Nail biting is a sign of insecurity, anxiety, discomfort and lack of self-confidence.

How To Use it: Nail biting is a negative nonverbal cue. It is not advised that one should do it unless one wishes to feign anxiety.

Context: General

Verbal Translation: “I’m suffering from extreme inner turmoil and anxiety. I need to pacify myself by reverting to childlike suckling or mouthing of my fingers, as a substitute for my mother’s breast.”

Variant: Any object to the mouth indicates a need for to pacify including, thumb sucking, sucking on pens, chewing on the arms of the glasses and sucking on a cigarette. Other tension relieving activities include adjusting clothing when it’s not needed, playing with an object, running fingers through the hair and shaking a shoe.

Cue In Action: Gordon Brown, the UK Prime Minister, has the look of a frequent nail bitter. He likely suffers a great deal of internal stress.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Nail biting is a form of emotional body language, and when present, is usually habitual because of its origins. The habit which is highly unsightly screams “I am insecure.” These types of gestures are called “pacifying behaviours” because they are designed to reduce anxiety when exposed to something distressing.

Nail biting signals apprehension, anxiety, discomfort and a lack of self-confidence. Putting any object in the mouth is a signal of inner turmoil and negative feelings. The mouth is utilized as a source of pacifying as the breast was during infancy and indicates a need to be reassured. Biting the nails also serves as a mouth cover which blocks the mouth from the sightline of others creating additional security and secretiveness, but also creates suspicion in others.

The astute nonverbal reader will carefully observe a person for their unique mannerisms as they are difficult for people to control and hide. This makes a quick check of the nails and fingers for excessive chewing particularly important in gaining insight into a body language target. Nails that appear wider than they are long, called ‘brachyonychia’ is a sure sign that a person doesn’t feel at ease and regularly suffers from extreme tension. A thumb that is frequently sucked might appear worn or have chew marks or indentations.

Cue Cluster: Generally, nail biting is a stand-alone cue that needs no additional reinforcement to have true meaning – though one should watch for additional cues of discomfort and desire to pacify.

Body Language Category: Blocking or Shielding, Displacement behaviour, Emotional body language, Idiosyncratic body language, Leaked or involuntary body language, Low confidence body language, Negative body language, Nervous body language, Pseudo-infantile gestures, Pacifying body language, Security blankets, Stressful body language, Suspicious body language, Worry body language or worry.

Resources:

Colville, G A; Mok, Q. Psychological management of two cases of self injury on the paediatric intensive care unit. Archives of Disease in Childhood. 2003. 88(4): 335.

Christenson, Gary A. ; Mackenzie, Thomas B. ; Mitchell, James E. Characteristics of 60 adult chronic hair pullers. American Journal of Psychiatry. 1991. 148(3): 365(6).

Feteih RM: Signs and Symptoms of Temporomandibular Disorders and Oral Parafunctions in Urban Saudi Arabian Adolescents: A Research Report. Head Face Med. 2006. 2: 25.

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Barriers, Blocking or Shielding, Defensive body language, Security blankets, Stressful body language

Body Language of Leaning Against The Wall

by Chris • October 23, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Leaning Against The Wall

Cue: Leaning Against The Wall.

Synonym(s): Leaning Against A Chair, Leaning Against A Podium, Holding A Chair With Both Hands, Propping Up Against The Wall.

Description: Leaning against the wall with the shoulder or hand, or placing the hands on the back of the chair with it in front of the body. This cue is also replicated by leaning against a podium, or a car, grasping a hand rail, resting the hand of the edge of a countertop or any other way to gain support from the environment that serves no direct purpose.

In One Sentence: Leaning against the wall demonstrates that one is in need of extra support because one can not stand independently.

How To Use it: Leaning against the wall, when done in a casual way, can signal positive impressions and a relaxed attitude. However, if one wishes to create a dominant impression, one should not rely on other objects for support.

Leaning against the wall, or a bar top can be used as a crutch to activate memories of being held up. In an of itself, this will make one feel more at ease and secure. This is useful in novel environments or any other environment that creates discomfort. Thus, leaning against the wall is helpful as a security blanket and lends emotional “support.”

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m feeling insecure and lack the self confidence needed to stand under my own weight and balance, so I’m using the wall or chair as a crutch for stability and security.”

Variant: See Coffee Cup Barrier or Handbag Barrier, Ownership Gestures.

Cue In Action: a) They were ready to depart, so he quickly put his jacket on and stood up. Most of the rest in his party were slow to their feet so he awkwardly stood waiting in the middle of the restaurant. He pulled his chair in close to his body and put both hands on the back of the chair propping himself up. b) While speaking to a lovely lady, he braced himself against the wall with his shoulder. c) As they stood speaking with one another he reached out and placed his hand on the handrail for support.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Placing the hands on objects to support shows that a person feels insecure or lacks self confidence. A person will use the wall, table, chair, podium, railing, bar top or any object to provide stability and comfort. The object is turned into a crutch that provides a “security blanket” when people feel overexposed.

Leaning against the podium while presenting, a shoulder against the wall in an unfamiliar room, or two hands on the chair in a crowded room, are a few ways we convey uneasiness and discomfort. The objects help ground us and produce a strong wide base when our confidence fails us.

Cue Cluster: Often, this cue stands by itself because the object provides enough protection to keep a person from feeling insecure. One might watch for a person’s reliance on crutches to verify his level of insecurity. If a person holds a chair that is lower than normal, he may hunch up protecting his torso indicating additional insecurity.

Body Language Category: Barriers, Blocking or Shielding, Defensive body language, Security blankets, Stressful body language.

Resources:

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Balzarotti, Stefania ; Piccini, Luca ; Andreoni, Giuseppe ; Ciceri, Rita “I Know That You Know How I Feel”: Behavioral and Physiological Signals Demonstrate Emotional Attunement While Interacting with a Computer Simulating Emotional Intelligence. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior. 2014. 38(3): 283-299.

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Barriers, Blocking or Shielding, Closed facial gestures, Low confidence body language, Low confidence hand displays, Lying or deceptive body language, Negative body language, Security blankets, Shy nonverbal, Suspicious body language

Body Language of Hidden Mouth or Mouth Conceal

by Chris • October 23, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Hidden Mouth or Mouth Conceal

Cue: Hidden Mouth or Mouth Conceal

Synonym(s): Covering The Mouth, Hand Over The Mouth, Talking Through The Hand, Mouth Guard (The).

Description: Done by placing the hand over the mouth, in part, or whole and “talking through it.”

In One Sentence: Hiding the mouth is a nonverbal signal indicating secrecy and the need for security.

How To Use it: One should do their best to avoid covering their mouth with their hand as it is an obvious display of lack of confidence.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m insecure or telling a lie so I’m covering my mouth to give me protection, security and secrecy.”

Variant: The gesture can be done with a fist, a finger, or a ‘shushing’ motion with the index finger vertically placed over the lips. In the Mouth Guard the hand raises up to the cheek, or side of the mouth, or by wrapping a finger around the upper lip. Sometimes the hand does a downward swipe with the mouth, the hand is made into a fist and rested against the mouth, or it seems as if the person is talking through their hand. See Hand To Mouth.

Other times the subconscious mind is so powerful that the hand comes up and slaps the mouth, such as when telling a lie, but to cover this ‘tell’, a fake cough is added.

Cue In Action: a) While on a date, Dave wrapped his fingers around his upper lip. He felt terribly uncomfortable being around such an attractive girl. Ccovering his mouth gave him a place to hide – a security blanket. b) After telling a fib, Billie brought her index finger up to the corner of her mouth as if shushing herself.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Hand covering the mouth shows timidity, low self esteem and appears dishonest to others.

Mouth covering is also way to reduce the pain of telling a lie. In this case, it is so as to “speak no evil.” Small children perform a full cover and even slap their mouths when they say something they shouldn’t. Grown adults will sometimes cup their hands to their mouths like children in effort to “jam the words back in their mouths” but usually use more subtle gestures such as talking through their hand or placing a finger softly over their lips.

Talking with ones hand covering the mouth “talking through the hand” or resting the hand around the mouth by wrapping the fingers around the top, are significant clues indicating insecurity.

Subconsciously, hand-to-mouth gestures leads people to distrust others, and see them as less honest overall.

Cue Cluster: Hand to mouth is a standalone cue and doesn’t require many additional cues to spell meaning. The context of the cue, be it high anxiety such as on a date or interview, or while being suspect of lying, will define the meaning of hand to mouth.

Body Language Category: Barriers, Blocking or Shielding, Closed facial gestures, Low confidence body language, Low confidence hand displays, Lying or deceptive body language, Negative body language, Security blankets, Shy nonverbal, Suspicious body language.

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