Body Language of Shoe Play or Removing Shoes
Cue: Shoe Play or Removing Shoes.
Synonym(s): Playing With The Shoe, Removing Shoes, Dangling The Shoe.
Description: A cue usually delivered by a woman where the heel of the shoe is either removed entirely or partially removed and dangled from a toe. Alternatively, the shoes are removed to make a person more comfortable.
In One Sentence: Removing the shoes is a sign of comfort.
How To Use it: Remove the shoes to show other people that you feel comfortable and are not in any rush to leave. When removed at the door to someone’s house, it also serves to show respect as it avoids bringing dirt inside. If uncertain, always ask when entering a home if they wish for you to leave your shoes on or take them off. If you notice that your host has removed their shoes, you should simply remove them unless they specify otherwise. In a relaxed atmosphere such as at a friend’s house, removing the shoes is common practice; however, in a business setting, removing your shoes can be seen as disrespectful. If your feet have a malodor, keeping your shoes on is highly advisable.
In a dating context, woman can remove their shoes as a symbol of their trust in their partner. Dangling a stiletto from the tip of the toe is a great way to show arousal and trust at the same time.
Context: a) Dating b) General.
Verbal Translation: “I’m comfortable in this environment and not going anyway so I feel safe enough to remove my shoes.”
Variant: See Symbolic Stripping or Removing Clothing.
Cue In Action: a) She dangled her tall stilettos from the tip of her toes and bounced her leg up and down while sipping a pinkish drink from the edge of the bar. It wasn’t long before she had her first offer from a potential suitor. She quickly froze at the sight of him, put her shoe back on and gazed across the room hoping to make eye contact with her friends. She was looking for a possible exit. b) They had a full work schedule ahead of them and as the clock ticked on to the early morning hours they had removed their jackets, ties and shoes. The end of the project was still not in sight.
Meaning and/or Motivation: Removing the shoes is a strong indicator of comfort and agreement. It is most salient in a courtship setting when done by a woman because it is a concrete indication of her desire to stay rather than go. Removing the shoes makes “escape” that much more difficult. Shoe play also accentuates the female physic and permits her to bounce her leg up and down showcasing her legs through movement, and drawing in male gaze.
To test this idea, simply startle a woman and if she doesn’t freeze, she’ll pull her shoe back on in short order! Men attuned to shoe language will be able to test an approach. If it goes sour, she’ll casually slip her shoe back on.
In men, shoe removal indicates that comfort is either present or desired and that one is not prepared to leave.
Cue Cluster: Removing the shoe is accompanied by other comfort body language such as open, relaxed facial expressions, smiling, arms uncrossed and gesticulating, touching, eye contact and neck and palm exposure (in women).
Body Language Category: Approach tell, Comfort body language, Courtship display, Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Open body language.
Resources:
Navarro, Joe. 2008. What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-Reading People. William Morrow Paperbacks.