Body Language of Leaning In and Leaning Out
Cue: Leaning In and Leaning Out.
Synonym(s): Pecking Forward, Leaning Out.
Description: Leaning forward or away from another person (or thing).
In One Sentence: Leaning in and leaning out signal interest and disinterest respectively.
How To Use it: Use leaning in and leaning out to show your level of interest. Leaning in shows people that you are interested in them, their ideas and/or what they have to say. Leaning out sends the reverse message.
Leaning language is applicable in business, dating and amongst friends.
For example, leaning in toward your dating partner shows him or her that you wish to gain intimacy. In a business meeting or presentation sit at the edge of your seat and lean in toward the presenter to show them you are keen on the information. With friends at lunch, sit facing them and engage them with conversation by moving forward. These postures all work in reverse to show disinterest. Additionally, leaning in and out can be done while standing and send a similar message. Leaning in also shows a readiness for action. This is also a positive message – especially in business and dating.
Context: a) Dating, b) General.
Verbal Translation: “I’m interested in what you are saying and am supplicating to your dominance and ability to draw me in closer to you, rather than you, to me. That’s why I’m leaning forward.”
Variant: See Head Away.
Cue In Action: a) Dave was really into Stacey. Throughout lunch, he tried to engage her as much as possible but found the more he leaned in, the more she leaned out and away. It was clear that he was more into her, than vice versa. b) While presenting to the crowd, she found half of the students leaning in and engaged, while the other half leaned out and away. She knew which students where most keen on the topic from the way their bodies leaned.
Meaning and/or Motivation: Leaning in too much, also referred to as “pecking” forward has been advanced by the pick-up community as a term describing men who appear needy and who lack control of the dating situation rather than dominant and chase-worthy.
Pecking forward can appear in any setting and shows which of the two are most interested in the other or whom is most dominant and in control. Or, sometimes more aptly, leaning away tells us which person is more apathetic to the relationship and apathy often creates control and ability to dominate. Dominant people will tend to lean back and take up space, but someone who lacks confidence or whom has a great interest in another person will try to engage them more by leaning in toward them. This tends to have the reverse result to what is intended.
Leaning back will force others to engage you, instead of the other way around (cat and mouse game.) Talking quietly also has the affect of forcing people to move closer to you, thereby increasing your status.
Cue Cluster: Couple leaning in and leaning out with other nonverbal cues to determine level of engagement. Leaning in should find itself with eye contact, nodding, smiling, smooth flowing conversation and head tilted to the side – this shows engagement. Leaning back, and disengagement should find itself with lack of eye contact, lack of nodding, deadpan face, stuttered conversation and head-on rather than head tilted.
Body Language Category:
Leaning In: Amplifier, Attentive, Body pointing, Indicator of interest (IoI),
Indicators of sexual interest (IOsI), Intention movements, Low confidence body language, Liking.
Leaning Away: Amplifier, Body pointing, Confident body language, Disengagement, Dislike (nonverbal), Distancing or moving away, Dominant body language Escape movements, Expansive movements, Indicators of disinterest (IOD), Indicators of sexual disinterest (IOsD), Intention movements, Power play.
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