Does He Like Me? – 56 Body Language Signals That A Guy Likes You
Christopher Philip
When it comes to male body language, the empirical research is not nearly as advanced as that of women’s. There’s a reason for this; men aren’t typically thought of as users of body language to signal attraction in the same way that women do. For examples, there are some 50 sexual cues women can choose when they wish to give men the hint, but researchers haven’t spent much decoding male interest.
Why?
Well, because men are by design, the aggressors. They are the ones tasked with the difficult job of being direct, approaching and soliciting. They are usually the ones that need to chase and pursue (article forthcoming if link not active). However, if men are smart, they usually wait around in the vicinity to see if women will send them cues which indicate mutual interest, then make their move. In other words, women should use signals to show men that they are interested and then ease back and let men be more direct.
If he hasn’t approached you yet, you should add more hints (seriously! – pouring on the attraction cues will make you a more worthy adversary – click HERE).
Want more ideas? Just click HERE for over 50 ideas!.
Bottom line is that if he’s interested, he’ll get the hint, sooner or later. And if he doesn’t? Well you could always take the risk and ask him out!
So, to address the real reason that you’re here – namely because he hasn’t yet approached you, but you’re in a bit of a stalemate because you’re shy and so is he, then here are over 56 body language cues to consider that will help you decide if he’s interested.
As it turns out, a thorough and comprehensive review of the scientific literature has produces a myriad of ways that men actively use and signal sexual interest. We here at BLP have produced, perhaps the most comprehensive list in existence (and it wasn’t easy)!
Research (see citations below) says that men signal through direct glances, maximizing space movements, touching other males and open body movements, amongst many others. Men can use nonverbal cues in courtship to signal status, health, prowess, as well as interest and friendliness. These are all important signals in a time constraint courtship setting. Lastly, auto-manipulation might signal the level of anxiousness a man feels in the presences of women he finds attractive. This is not unlike the well studied courtship cues of grooming and auto-contact present in women.
But there’s more, read on!
By the way, if you really want to master body language, consider taking one of our courses hosted by Vanessa Van Edwards. She does a great job teaching you the skills of reading others in just a couple of hours. Feel free to leave us a comment below!
1. He Makes Eye Contact. Does he look back at you when he’s walking away? Do you catch him stealing a glance from afar? If you catch him looking at you, does he quickly look away and pretend to by busy (but really isn’t)? If a guy likes you but he’s shy, he’ll find it difficult to ignore you, but at the same time, he’ll be driven to check you out. However, he wont want to seem creepy or desperate so he’ll try to avoid getting caught looking.
Men won’t waste their time look at the undesirable! If a man maintains eye contact or gazes for longer than usual – this is a signal of intimacy (it violate the “moral looking time”). See this study for more detail.
Men will use eye contact in an effort to get you to notice him. Research has found that women feel uncomfortable when men approach without them first noticing them – this is a way for him to nonverbally say “hello” without being too forthright. More detail is available in this study.
2. He Avoids Eye Contact. Yeah sounds like a contradiction, but when men are shy and are hesitant to make the first move, talking with a girl face-to-face, rather than at a distance like in #2, will force men to break eye contact. Why do shy guys avoid eye contact? Because it makes them feel uncomfortable. See this study.
3. His Eyes Wander to Your Body. This is a tricky one because it only happens early on. Research has found that when men and women are intimately interested, they will check out each other’s body. Most of the time men and women make eye contact with each other, but when they are friends, this happens nearly exclusively. However, when men and women are sexually interested, they will make eye forays to the rest of the body. Have a friend check his eye gaze while the two of you talk and then again as you leave. If he likes you, he’s going to discretely check your body out as you leave (think: your butt) and when you’re talking, but look away briefly, he’s going to check out your boobs.
Just how compelled he is to do this will tell you how sexually attracted he is to you.
4. He’s Joyful and Smiles and Laughs a Lot. Does he make eye contact with you and then send you a gentle smile? Perhaps he tries to make you laugh. This is a sign that he’s trying to build a connection with you. When you smile, does he smile back? When a guy smiles at your jokes even when they aren’t funny, he’s tuned into you. He may also be more animated, more talkative and more expressive. Research has found that men will stifle negative emotions such as frowning when they think an attractive girl is watching him!
5. He’ll Try to Get Close to You and Lean in. If a guy likes you he’ll try to shrink the distance between the two of you. He will show this by leaning in or standing close to you – even if there is plenty of room otherwise. If seated, he’ll perch at the edge of his seat as if hanging off your every word. He might even try to get some alone time – even briefly (like standing in the elevator, or in line, or at your work station). Men will try to create incidental contact to improve the chances that you and he might open a dialogue.
If he’s actively trying to isolate you for a private moment, even in a public space, he’s probably interested in more than just being friends (some argue that men and women simply can’t ever be friends – so if you’ve got a guy friend, chances are that he digs you, even if you haven’t yet gone there.)
Careful though, really shy guys will actually do the opposite and especially respectful guys will even give you plenty of space rather than encroach on you. This doesn’t always mean that he’s not interested, he’s just giving you enough room to make up your own mind about him without being disrespectful or off-putting.
Learn more about leaning in and leaning out body language HERE.
6. A Random Approach. When a guy comes up to a girl, it’s usually because he likes her or at least finds her cute or attractive. This can sometimes happen in random locations or by complete strangers. Think bar or nightclub, but also coffee shops, on the street, or in the mall. If a guy takes the time to come to you, he probably thinks you’re cute enough to invest some time in getting to know, and is studying the possibilities of something more than friendship.
7. He Shows Off. Sometimes guys get a little goofy when they like a girl and do silly things to attract attention. Bragging is one way men use to signal higher worth to women. Showing off in sports, talking about achievements and so forth are ways that men try to signal interest by displaying higher social worth. A man might sneak in a funny joke, or text or do a silly dance, or make a funny face. Sometimes this comes off as just exaggerated behaviour. Anything to try to make a girl laugh!
8. His Voice Deepens. Research has found that when men try to appeal to women, they drop the tone of their voce to sound more masculine and dominant. Thankfully, it’s likely that you’ll find this attractive too. So keep an ear out for the guy who drops his voice noticeable when you’re around. The researchers found that this tends to create the impression that they are more caring and understanding. Read more HERE and HERE about how the voice is altered when men and women are in love.
9. He Teases You. When a guy likes a girl, he might treat you like a little sister. He might steal a hat or pair of gloves, though, he’ll always quickly return them if he notices that you’re in distress. This is a child-like throwback to the days where boys and girls played hide-and-go-seek.
10. His Friends Rib Him When You’re Near. Chances are quite good that his buddies are in the know when it comes to his secret desires. Be watchful for any clue that his friends on in on his secret crush. His buddies might punch him playfully in the shoulder, point you out to him subtly with their chins, or shift their eye contact from him to you. If he’s getting extra ribbing from his friends when you’re near, this can be a telltale cue.
11. He’s Alerted to Your Presence. If a guy is into you, he’ll know when you’re nearby and when he notices you, he will change his affect. It might be subtle, but he might become quieter or louder, or suddenly stop laughing. If he suddenly seems awkward, it’s probably because he’s gone into a fight or flight nervous reaction putting him off his game.
12. He Stands Taller and Thrusts His Chest Out. To appear more virile, men often use better posture by rolling their shoulders back, open their chest, and hold their chin higher. This also showcases their dominance. If he always seems to be on his best game when you appear, it’s likely that he’s got a secrete crush on you. Why, because using good posture shows others that we’re fit, healthy and of good mind. Read more HERE.
13. He Mirrors Your Body Language. Does he try to sync up your arm and leg movements and your overall postures? Does he use similar gestures and stance? Men will naturally mirror the body movements of women when they feel a connection. Mirroring can run so deep that breath rate and tone of voice will match. This is part of the mating dance. Mirroring has been shown to make emotions contagious and this helps us build empathy for other people.
14. He Puts His Best Foot Forward. When guys like a girl, they put on their best duds and strut for women. What they’re really after is for you to let him know that he’s of interest to you. You’re in a little bit of a stalemate and you’re both probably strutting for each other without knowing it!
15. He Gets Close to Your Friends and Asks About You. While not purely nonverbal, he is signaling a desire to affiliate with everything that is you. If your friends are fielding even mundane queries about you, this is a good sign that he’s trying to open doors.
16. He Always Manages to Bump Into You. It might be that he knows more about your schedule that you might think, and so he arranges to accidentally meet in the same locations. If this happens often, it’s probably no accident. Perhaps he might schedule himself to be in the same class as you, or on the same shift at work. Regardless, he’s trying to be nearer to you so that things may develop.
17. He Listens To You…and Remembers the Details. Men can have a pretty limited set of interests, but if he recalls some pretty mundane or specific details about things you have mentioned and he brings them up in future conversations, you’ve probably got a filing cabinet reserved in his brain. In other words, he’s on your mind. If a guy likes you, he’ll also work hard to keep the conversation going. That means he’ll keep asking you questions – he wants to get to know you and what makes you tick.
18. He’s Awkward Around You. Not every guy is as smooth as he’d like to be and being around a girl that makes him smitten is sure to put him off his game. Is he is at a loss for words, or short with the conversation (like too short)? You might be tempted to see this as being rude, but his nerves might be getting the better of him and he might really want to talk at lengths – he’s just worried about blowing it. Give him a little slack and make things easy for him. It might be all he needs to get going. If he blushes or acts flustered but tries to hide it, it’s probably because he secrete likes you.
19. He’s Different Around You. Maybe you can’t put your finger on it, but if you’re suddenly alone with a guy and he changes a little bit, perhaps by becoming more or less talkative, seems more nervous or shy or tries to act cooler or funnier, he might be trying to impress you. This is what we call a shift in his “baseline.” It’s a hint that something is putting him off his normal affect. You might be that reason.
20. He Pays You a Compliment. Sure, he might just be trying to butter you up, but if he takes the time to compliment your appearance, it’s a good chance that it’s sincere. Men are highly visual, and if you’re pleasing him in that sense, and he musters up enough courage to say so, then he’s probably interested.
21. He Asks For Your Phone Number/Contact/Adds You to Social Media. So maybe he disguises it by framing it for another reason such as sending you a funny video he saw the other day or some other inane idea. However, guys rarely waste their effort – there’s probably more on his mind. Asking for a girl’s number is a sure way that guys show interest. Rarely will it be for any other reason. If he randomly starts chatting you up on Facebook, he’s thought of you.
22. He’s Agreeable and Shares Similarities. A guy will often play up similarities in attitudes on various things when he likes a girl. He’ll seem to like the same music, clubs, drinks, food and share similar views and so forth. When a guy likes a girl, he’ll try to build commonality. Sometimes it gets excessive. You can test this out and throw out some oddballs. This will test his interest by seeing how far he’ll go along (be respectful though).
23. He Ignores You Completely. Maybe he’s been burned in the past and lost his courage to approach girls or maybe he thinks playing ‘hard to get’ is going to help make him look more valuable (typical guy game stuff). Regardless, ignoring you in favour of others, or even chatting up your friends instead of you, might be his way of driving you to jealousy and build your curiosity.
24. He’s Facing Away From You But His Body Isn’t. Likewise, he may turn his body away from you, but have his face turned toward you. This is another way a guy might try to seem like he’s ‘too good for you’ and raise his social value. He’s playing another game of ‘hard to get.’ Learn more about these so called “ventral displays” HERE.
25. He Buys You a Drink. If he’s willing to invest some money (time) in you, then he’s probably interested in more than just friendship. Buying a girl a drink is a way guys show that he’s willing to share and care. He may also offer nominal gifts, special treats such as candy or sweets that might not seem overly obvious (he might disguise this gesture by offering other people nearby the same treats).
26. He Asks You if You Have a Boyfriend. This is a ringer. Guys will not ask you if you’ve got a boyfriend unless he’s interested in more than friendship. Men will also check fingers for rings our scout your office workstation for mementos or photographs. These are dead giveaways.
27. He Touches and Jokes With His Friends. Studies have shown that men will seem more dominant if they playfully joke around with and touch (non-reciprocal) their male companions. This is his way of showing you that he’s the alpha dog and deserves your attention. Science calls this “intrasexual touching, “intra” means within, meaning male-to-male touching. This includes resting the elbow on the shoulder of an adjacent male, tapping on the shoulder, elbow to the ribs and playful shoving. When touching happens unilaterally, it highlights the dominance differences between two people and shows others that he’s in charge. In other words, he’s trying to show off.
28. He Makes Excuses To Touch You. Perhaps he finds that your tag is sticking out, or there is something stuck to your jacket and picks it off for you. Grooming is a primitive form of care and we offer this to people we want to associate with. He might even touch your forearm, hand or knee if he’s brave enough. Why does he touch? Because he knows that touching will build trust, and can help him convey his emotions.
29. He Protects You. A guy might offer a jacket, have you walk on the inside edge rather than the outside edge of a sidewalk, help you up or down a flight of stairs or over rocky terrain, and so forth. This is his way of showing that he’s willing to care for you.
30. He Seems Jealous. He wonders what you did on the weekend and if you mention another guy, his behaviour suddenly changes – he becomes colder or his expression changes. If a guy acts jealous, it’s because he is jealous. He might also try to laugh it off or poke fun of the other guy trying to make himself look better in the process. Nonverbal clues include blushing, a change in facial expression, a grimace, crinkle between the eyebrows, gritting the teeth, a blank expression, and so forth.
31. He Ignores Distractions. When a guy really likes you, he’ll turn his phone off or avoid checking it. He’ll turn his focus on to you and only you. If he’s really shy though, he might use his phone as a crutch to break up the awkwardness. However, he’ll quickly put it away if the conversation gets going again. Even if he does check his phone, he’ll always be paying attention.
32. He Helps You. A guy will show interest by offering assistance of any kind. Maybe you’ve got a bug on your computer or need help with a device (name it). If he’s the first person to show up when things go wrong and is willing to go out of his way to help, then he’s trying to show his indispensability.
33. He Wants To Dance. Some guys like to get their grove on, but most use it as a way to get the ladies going. So it goes, if he asks you to dance, he’s probably trying to rev your engine.
34. He Opens The Door For You. It might be old fashion, but surveys still find that most women appreciate it when men hold doors open for them – and guys know this. So if he does this for you, he’s saying that he cares about you and wants you to know it. Equally, however, some men might not do this in effort to show that he’s respectful of your independence. So even if he doesn’t open the door for you, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you.
35. Time Seems to Fly. If he’s not concerned by how late the evening has run, doesn’t check his phone constantly, and doesn’t care that he needs to work the next day, he’s probably cherishing the time you’re spending together.
36. He Walks at the Same Pace as You. Research has found that when men walk with women they are romantically interested in, they will slow their pace down to match women’s preferred speed. The researchers found that when men were not romantically interested in woman, they didn’t slow down to match their walking partner. This is significant because it’s less economical for men to do so, but the research found that it’s a cost men are willing to bear. How to test this? Simple, slow down. Does he match your pace or does he solder on without you?
37. He Turns To Face You Head On. Facing someone head on is either a signal of combativeness like the stance of a boxer and his opponent, or a signal of romantic interest. However, in the right context, between a man and woman, facing someone head-to-head is usually a sign that intimacy is forming. Learn more about body angling HERE.
38. Extra Perspiration. Does he start scratching his palms when he’s around you or does he subconsciously wipe them on his lap? It could be that you make him nervous and excited. Maybe you notice that his scent becomes more alluring and attractive to you? As we become excited our endocrine system goes into overdrive and we rev up our metabolism causing us to sweat more. Odds are you won’t visibly see him sweat, but he may adjust his collar, wipe his brow, or turn flush. Sweating is a sign of nervousness. http://bodylanguageproject.com/nonverbal-dictionary/body-language-of-sweating-or-hyperhidrosis/
39. He Fidgets. Again this is another nonverbal signal of nervousness. He may show this by playing with a pen or a set of keys, fixing his hair, or any number of ways. This is his way to blow off some nervous energy to restore calm. However, ask yourself what’s causing him the discomfort? It could just be you, and that’s a positive nonverbal signal. Read more HERE.
40. He Raises A Brow. A raised brow is a sign of suspicion, but equally of curiosity and cheekiness. If done, it’s a form of questioning A sort of, I see you, you see me, what comes next? So, what will you do? It’s your call! Will you smile, smirk, or ignore his query?
41. He Lends You Something. Offering a jacket or sweater when its cold is a sure sign that he’s into you. He might also offer a piece of music (electronic or otherwise), a game, a tool, anything really. This is his way of connecting his territory with yours.
42. He Becomes Weird. You liked him before, but now that you are alone, he starts acting bizarre. He tells off colour jokes, makes rude remarks he thinks is funny, or dances oddly. Maybe he’s just trying to impress you, but doesn’t quite know how to do it tactfully.
43. He Guides You. Chivarly isn’t quite dead just yet. Men might show interest by gently guiding a woman by the small of the back, or by lending an arm – he’ll encourage you to wrap your hand around the crook of his arm to bring you about.
44. Becoming Quiet. Turning the volume down is a way men signal a desire to build intimacy and let women in on secrets. This is his way to make the conversation more private and create a one-on-one dialogue. If he’s letting you on secrets, he’s probably trying to lure you in closer too.
45. He Spends Time With You. The more time he invests in you, the more he likes you. Yes, even if you think you’re just friends. Men have a deep urge to be intimate and develop sexual relationships. If he didn’t think there was a shot of things moving forward, he’d probably move onto the next best thing. If you’re interested, move things along and give him some positive clues.
46. He Always Seems Happy to See You. If you find that no matter how bad his day is going, you always seem to change his expression from a frown to a smile, you can be pretty sure that he likes you!
47. He Uses Expansive Postures or Space Maximizing Movements. Just like animals, humans also puff out and seem larger when they want to seem more dominant. Men can do this by sitting with their legs open, put their hands on their hips, and keep their chin up. It includes any movement where the arms or legs extend at least one torso length away from the body. Stretching or extending the arms across adjacent chairs, or halfway across two adjacent chairs using both arms and placing the hands on the hips called “arms akimbo,” certainly qualify.
If he’s going out of his way to appear more masculine or show off his biceps, he’s probably interested. He may also appear more flexed and toned. See this research for more details on reading men’s nonverbal body language with respect to expansive postures in dating.
48. When Other People Encroach He Ignores Them. He’s unlikely to be rude or dismissive, but if a guy likes you, he’ll try to keep you included in the conversation rather than totally shift his focus away from you. Often this is done through body language. Perhaps he’ll turn his head, but leave his torso and feet pointing toward you – his real interest. Once a guy is tuned in, he’ll do what he can to maintain his focus rather than be interrupted.
This study] found that if a guy does the opposite and ignores you or checks his phone or tries to pass you off to one of his friends, he’s probably not interested. Be warned, men typically did not use ignoring outright to signals disinterest, they often kept the conversation going even if they weren’t totally into the girls they were talking to. Though, when no interest was present, the men tended to use more overt insults.
49. He’ll Look At Your Lips. This is a kiss cue indicator. The eyes travel in the direction the mind wishes to travel. If he’s drawn to your lips, he’s probably thinking about kissing them.
50. He’s Affirmative and Nods to Get You to Talk More. Nodding is a nonverbal way that people use to signal that we’re listening and that we understand. If a guy gives you lots of opportunity to speak, and keeps quiet while nodding, or asks lots of questions, he’s showing you that he’s respectful of your opinion and wants you to keep sharing with him. Being affirmative can also be verbal. If he keeps saying “yes,” or is generally more agreeable with you than normal or with other people, he’s probably trying to win you over.
51. His Nostrils Flair. Flaring the nostrils is a way to open up the airways to sample sexual pheromones. Did you know that we judge the attractiveness of a person by their odor? It’s true, read HERE.
Men can also tell when a woman is fertile by her odor! Seriously, read more HERE.
If you notice this subtle signal you can surmise that he’s taking in some of your hidden odors. While the nose flares, the lips will often part and the eyes will widen. Some men are known to walk behind women to catch their scent or even catch a cross breeze as women walk in front of them. If you catch your guy sampling your odiferous signals, his mind is probably racing. Don’t think these hidden sexual chemical signals matter? Read this research.
52. He Hugs You Close. An intimate hug happens when the hips are pressed together. A guy that doesn’t like you will just hug with his shoulders touching you with his hips back and away. This is the kind of hug we reserve for family and friends. Learn more about the types of hugs HERE.
53. He Compares His Hand to Yours. This is an excuse to build intimacy though touch – he doesn’t really care how much bigger his hand is than yours!
54. He Opens Up. When men want to win a girl’s heart, they will not only open up more by offering more personal or intimate details about themselves, but they will also open up their arms, turn their palms up, and be more welcoming with their body language. The opposite language is to cross the arms and lean back and away. This says disinterest.
55. He Self-Touches or “Auto Manipulates.” If a guy seems to touch himself more often, then it could be a signal that he’s either trying to keep himself groomed and looking nice or he’s feeling particularly nervous around you. A guy who’s nervous will take part in what’s called “displacement” type behaviour. This includes touching or patting his hair, massaging his body (even his neck or collar bone area), touching his lips, rubbing his eyes, or touching his face more often.
Studies have found that self touching is a sign that you make him uncomfortable (in a good way). The same study cited above found that the key signal for male interest was more touching of the “bear-growth area,” or the chin. So if he strokes his chin, it’s a good signal that he’s keying in to you.
56. He Gestures More Than Usual. Using gesticulation including turning the palms up and being more animated with the hands during speech is a way he demonstrates social power, openness and agreeableness. Does he do this more often for your sake? If so, it’s a clue to his motives. This study and this one both confirm this finding.
Image Credit: Jon Rawlinson
Image Credit: Helga Weber
Image Credit: Guian Bolisay
Image Credit: Helga Weber
Image Credit: Glenn Loos-Austin
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