Category: Clenching and gripping

Amplifier, Appease, Barriers, Blocking or Shielding, Body cross, Body size reduction, Clenching and gripping, Closed body language, Comfort body language, Defensive body language, Emotional body language, Low confidence body language, Nervous Body Language, Protective reflexes, Pseudo-infantile gestures, Submissive body language

Body Language Of Self-Hugging or The Double Arm Hug

by Chris • October 28, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language Of Self-Hugging or The Double Arm Hug

Cue: Self-Hugging or The Double Arm Hug.

Synonym(s): Self-Administered Hug, Double Arm Hug, Hugging The Self.

Description: Self-hugging can be done by grabbing both arms across the body, in extreme cases to each shoulder, or by clasping one arm onto the arm, elbow or shoulder on the opposite side (Partial Arm Cross or Incomplete Arm Cross). At times, the hands will pacify by rubbing the shoulders.

In One Sentence: Self hugging is a cue signaling the desire to be comforted.

How To Use it: Self hugging replaces the need for the comfort of another. Thus, it is to be used when one does not wish to rely on the care of others, but when one still wishes to receive a caring touch. The cue is generally perceived in a negative light so should be used only in instances when one is not concerned with appearing vulnerable. Self-hugging in a business meeting, for example, is ill advised. However, hugging the self is perfectly acceptable in the privacy of your own home, or when surrounded by close friends or family where we are generally permitted to show our softer side.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m awkward and self conscious so I’m wrapping myself up in a self embrace to provide comfort and care as my parents provided to me in my youth.”

Variant: See Partial Arm Cross or Incomplete Arm Cross, Fetal Position (The), Self-Stroking or Auto Contact, Hand Gripping Upper Arm or Wrist Behind Back.

Cue In Action: It was the first time away from her parents at camp and most of the other girls were getting along fine and seemed to know each other from last year. Autumn was left by herself in line and looked awkwardly at the others while wrapping her arms around herself in a self hug. She was reminded of the care she got from her parents.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Hugging one’s self is both defensive and a closed body position. People who hold this posture exclaim that they are cold, but in reality, the cold sensation stems from feeling awkward, timid, self conscious, or distress. Self-hugs, done in this way, remind us of the care and comfort we received from mom and dad, and when found in adulthood, indicate a need for reassurance.

In adulthood, self-hugging is found when we’re insecure, self-conscious, afraid or defensive, generally. Because it’s generally not appropriate to show vulnerability to others and seek support from other’s we instead hug ourselves discreetly. The astute body language reader will notice this signal and step in to help make the carrier of the signal feel better.

Cue Cluster: Watch for submissive cues to accompany the self-hug such as head lowered or bowed, eyes up-cast, shoulders hunched over and toes pointed inward.

Body Language Category: Amplifier, Appease, Barriers, Body cross, Body size reduction, Blocking or Shielding, Comfort body language, Clenching and gripping, Closed body language, Defensive body language, Emotional body language, Low confidence body language, Nervous body language, Pseudo-infantile gestures, Pacifying body language, Protective reflexes, Submissive body language.

Resources:

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*No Photo, Aggressive body language, Auto contact or self touching, Clenching and gripping, Emotional body language, Energy Displacement, Hostile body language, Idiosyncratic body language, Low confidence body language, Negative body language, Stressful body language, Worry body language

Body Language of Self-Harm

by Chris • October 28, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Self-Harm

Cue: Self-Harm.

Synonym(s): Pinching The Skin, Squeezing Pimples, Scratching The Skin, Cracking Knuckles, Plucking Hair, Hair Pulling (self), Pulling At The Skin, Cracking Knuckles.

Description: A particularly aggressive scratch, pinch, or clawing at the body during emotional stress.

In One Sentence: Self harm is a sign of emotional stress.

How To Use it: While self harming can produce feelings of control and emotional release, it only masks underlying emotional issues. If you are a self-harmer, find someone you trust and work through your problems in a more constructive way.

Even mild self harming such as self-pinching, jaw clenching, body gripping and wringing, and so forth, are not positive signals. By identifying these patterns and discover the cause it will help move you in a more constructive direction.

Simply eliminating the body language can, at times, and in mid cases, reduce negative emotions by eliminating the outer symptoms, however, they will not deal with the true root. Talk to someone you trust if you are a habitual self-harmer. Build the courage to vocalize the real issue.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m losing control of the situation and my emotions, and am using self pain to re-establish my ability to influence things that are happening to me.”

Variant: Self-harm can take many forms, but all forms are motivated by the need to control the source of emotional pain by taking it in one’s own hands. A person might pinch the skin, scratch the skin, squeeze pimples, crack the knuckles, pluck or pull hair and so forth. See Hand Clenching or Fist Clenching.

Cue In Action: a) As the teenager suffered, she cut herself on the wrist and abdomen. While it didn’t resolve her underlying emotional issues, it provided a way that she could control the pain she was experiencing. b) The stress caused him to pick and pull at his pimples. c) Running the fingers through her knotted hair felt nice as she dealt with the loss of her grandmother. d) He plucked nose hair while thinking of how his boss had refused a raise.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Self-harm is linked to clenching and gripping body language as both are ways people show that they harbour negative feelings and emotions. Pinching the skin, scratching and pulling are ways a person regains control over the root of their pain. When a person self-harms, they are showing others that they are insecure, have negative feelings, low self-esteem, or are in immediate distress.

We should be particularly attuned to self harm that happens suddenly as this can predict a change in emotional state. Also carefully watch for the amplitude, frequency and force behind the self harm to monitor the underlying emotional state.

Clenching and gripping can have many other forms as well, including clenching the jaws tight or even talking through the teeth, cracking knuckles, pulling the hair or even plucking it, pinching one’s self, and clenching the fists by turning them into a ball.

In my observations of other people, I have noticed some peculiar emotional behaviour that includes the grotesque such as squeezing pimples to plucking nose hairs to more damaging and extreme behaviours such as hitting the head and scratching called “self harm” but can include any other painful and repetitive behaviours serving to sooth emotional stress.

Cue Cluster: Watch for multiple cues of self-harm. We often see fidgeting, pacing, blushing or blanching, tug at their skin such as their ears, nose or hair.

Body Language Category: Auto contact or self touching, Aggressive body language, Clenching and gripping, Emotional body language, Energy Displacement, Hostile body language, Idiosyncratic body language, Low confidence body language, Negative body language, Stressful body language, Worry body language.

Resources:

Arsenio, W. F., Cooperman, S., & Lover, A. Affective Predictors of Preschooler’s Aggression and Peer Acceptance: Direct and Indirect Effects. Developmental Psychology. 2000. 36: 438-448.

Breau, Lynn M. ; Camfield, Carol S. ; Symons, Frank J. ; Bodfish, James W. ; MacKay, Alison ; Finley, G.Allen ; McGrath, Patrick J. Relation between pain and self-injurious behavior in nonverbal children with severe cognitive impairments. The Journal of Pediatrics. 2003 142(5): 498-503.

Croyle, Kristin L. ; Waltz, Jennifer. Subclinical Self-Harm: Range of Behaviors, Extent, and Associated Characteristics. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry. 2007. 77(2): 332-342.

De Jonghe-Rouleau, Adrienne P ; Pot, Anne Margriet ; De Jonghe, Jos F M. Self-injurious behaviour in nursing home residents with dementia. International journal of geriatric psychiatry. 2005. 20(7): 651-657.

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Huflejt-Łukasik M, Czarnota-Bojarska J (2006) Short Communication: Selffocused attention and self-monitoring influence on health and coping with stress. Stress Health 22: 153–59.

Harriss, Louise ; Hawton, Keith. Deliberate self-harm in rural and urban regions: A comparative study of prevalence and patient characteristics. Social Science & Medicine. 2011. 73(2): 274-281.

Jaquier, Véronique ; Hellmuth, Julianne C. ; Sullivan, Tami P.. Posttraumatic stress and depression symptoms as correlates of deliberate self-harm among community women experiencing intimate partnerviolence. Psychiatry Research. 2013. 206(1): 37-42.

Jacobson, Colleenm. ; Muehlenkamp, Jenniferj. ; Miller, Alecl. ; Turner, J. Blake. Psychiatric Impairment Among Adolescents Engaging in Different Types of Deliberate Self-Harm. Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology. 2008. 37(2): 363-375.

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Mohiyeddini, Changiz ; Semple, Stuart. Displacement behaviour regulates the experience of stress in men. Stress. 2013. 16(2): 163-171.

Mohiyeddini, C., Bauer, S., & Semple, S. (2013a). Displacement behaviour is associated with reduced stress levels among men but not women. PLoS One, 8, e56355.

Mohiyeddini, C., Bauer, S., & Semple, S. (2013b). Public self-consciousness moderates the link between displacement behaviour and experience of stress in women. Stress, 16, 384–392.

Nolen-Hoeksema S, Aldao A (2011) Gender and age differences in emotion regulation strategies and their relationship to depressive symptoms. Personal Indiv Diff 51: 704–8.

Navarro, Joe. 2008. What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-Reading People. William Morrow Paperbacks.

Nock, Matthew K. Actions speak louder than words: An elaborated theoretical model of the social functions of self-injury and other harmful behaviors. Applied and Preventive Psychology. 2008. 12(4): 159-168.

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Tamres L, Janicki D, Helgeson VS (2002) Sex differences in coping behaviour: a meta-analytic review. Personal Soc Psychol Rev 6: 2–30.

Troisi A (2002) Displacement activities as a behavioural measure of stress in nonhuman primates and human subjects. Stress 5: 47–54.

Troisi A (1999) Ethological research in clinical psychiatry: the study of nonverbal behaviour during interviews. Neurosci Biobehav Rev 23: 905–913.

Troisi A, Moles A (1999) Gender differences in depression: an ethological study of nonverbal behaviour during interviews. J Psychiatr Res 33: 243–250.

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von Hippel W, von Hippel C, Conway L, Preacher KJ, Schooler JW, et al. (2005) Coping with stereotype threat: denial as an impression management strategy. J Personal Soc Psychol 89: 22–35.

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Barriers, Blocking or Shielding, Body cross, Clenching and gripping, Closed body language, Defensive body language, Embarrassment (nonverbal), Low confidence body language, Nervous Body Language, Shy nonverbal

Body Language of Partial Arm Cross or Incomplete Arm Cross

by Chris • October 27, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Partial Arm Cross or Incomplete Arm Cross

Cue: Partial Arm Cross or Incomplete Arm Cross

Synonym(s): Incomplete Arm Cross, Elbow Grab, Shoulder Grab, Hand to Elbow, Hand to Shoulder, Half-Hug.

Description: Where one arm crosses over the body to clasp the other arm or elbow. It can also happen by reaching across to grab the opposite shoulder.

In One Sentence: A partial arm cross is a sign of insecurity.

How To Use it: Use this gesture to create comfort where escape is impractical. Unlike a full arm cross which tells others that you are not ready to receive additional information, a partial arm cross can be used to tell others that you are not totally at ease. This can be used to signal to others the desire to be protected.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m feeling awkward and insecure. I need to feel protected so I’m going to reach across my body making a shield and cut off access while also feeling like mom or dad is holding me and protecting me.”

Variant: See Arm Crossing.

Cue In Action: Her mom brought her to a busy mall where they met up with friends. A particularly cute boy was also there with his family and they began to chat. Her mom was busy looking at clothing and she was left by herself. She enjoyed talking with him, but felt awkward which was evident because she grabber her elbow across her body tightly.

Meaning and/or Motivation: Reaching across the body and grabbing the opposite elbow or shoulder is mainly a female posture. While the double arm hug is a defensive postures, the partial arm cross is a subtle posture that indicates fear, timidity, shyness and lack of self confidence. Both are barrier type postures which protect the core of the body like a shield to signals to others that we don’t wish for them to come close.

The origins of the partial arm cross likely stems from the comfort felt by a child who’s hand was held or who’s shoulder was grasped by a parent when in novel situations. The posture feels natural and comfortable when in fearful situations because it provides the sensation of being hugged and protected, like having our hand held.

Women are the most common users of this posture. While men can be seen in the partial arm cross, although it is much more rare. It may have to do with trying not to appear as timid or that men simply experience the emotions far less. Men will use other postures such as the fig leaf posture or play with the cufflink or watch instead. They may also seek other displacement activities to help self sooth.

Cue Cluster: Expect to see other gestures like child-like swaying, biting the lower lip or inside of the cheek, blushing, touching the face when fingers are not crossed, shortness of breath, eyes fixated, worried or wandering to seek an exit, feet and torso pointed away.

Body Language Category: Barriers, Body cross, Blocking or Shielding, Clenching and gripping, Closed body language, Defensive body language, Embarrassment (nonverbal), Low confidence body language, Nervous body language, Shy nonverbal.

Resources:

Arsenio, W. F., Cooperman, S., & Lover, A. Affective Predictors of Preschooler’s Aggression and Peer Acceptance: Direct and Indirect Effects. Developmental Psychology. 2000. 36: 438-448.

Bohns, Vanessa K. and Scott S. Wiltermuth. It Hurts When I Do This (Or You Do That): Posture And Pain tolerance. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. 2012. 48: 341-345.
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Adaptors, Auto contact or self touching, Clenching and gripping, Closed body language, Disengagement body language, Dislike (nonverbal), Emotional body language, Frustration or frustrated body language, Negative body language, Stressful body language

Body Language of Neck Rubbing (back of neck) or Holding The Back Of The Neck

by Chris • October 24, 2014 • 0 Comments

Body Language of Neck Rubbing (back of neck) or Holding The Back Of The Neck

Cue: Neck Rubbing (back of neck) or Holding The Back Of The Neck

Synonym(s): Hand To The Back Of The Neck, Neck Hold, Pain In The Neck Posture.

Description: The hand goes to the back of the neck and is held there, either still, as if covering, massaging or scratching.

In One Sentence: Rubbing the back of the neck is a negative thought indicator.

How To Use it: Massaging the back of the neck while working to solve a problem shows others that you are having a hard time coming up with a solution, but that you are otherwise, actively thinking.

In extreme contexts, you can show your held aggression with the posture. This will tell other people to back off which will give you more space to contemplate your situation.

Context: General.

Verbal Translation: “I’m wild, angry and carrying negative feelings, so I’m holding myself back, by the scruff of my neck, so I won’t speak out.”

Variant: See Collar Pull (the).

Cue In Action: His boss was furious over the TPS reports as they were improperly filled out once again – this, even after having a lengthy meeting last week to go over the procedure. He paced back and forth across the room holding the back of his neck trying to prevent himself from acting out at his employees.

Meaning and/or Motivation: The neck hold, scratch or rub is a response to negative feelings and is a restraint posture as in “holding one’s self back” as one might do to a wily cat or dog by grabbing them by the scruff of the neck. Only in this case, it is done to one’s self. Grabbing the back of the neck shows that a person doesn’t like what is being proposed so they feel it’s necessary to bottle up their thoughts so they avoid confrontation or aggression.

Touching the back of the neck is not the same as touching any other part of the neck such as the side, which can be used as a filler gesture to pause for thought, or the front which can be used to show sexual interest in a dating context.

Scratching the back of the neck, rather, is a primitive gesture, that is a response to erector pili muscles in the scruff that our body uses to make our hair stand on end. The erector pili are microscopic bands of muscle tissue that connect hair follicles to the skin. When stimulated, the muscles contract and cause the hair to turn upward and perpendicular to the skin surface, or stand on end. While the purpose of the muscles in humans is vestigial, meaning they are an evolutionary throwaway, they were once used to trap air next to the skin to help keep the body warm. Other uses are for display and competition to make the body appear larger and more threatening. You have probably seen a domestic cat put its hair up when challenged by another cat. In porcupines, the muscles contract to bring the quills up as a defense.

As a defense, and for heat retention for people, the purpose of the arrector pili is laughable at best, but our bodies still react to cold and fear, even aggression by stimulating the muscles. A cold chill down the spine and “goose bumps” or “goose pimples” is a reference to the same thing. When we reach for our scruff, we are showing an evolutionary throwaway to a time when our hair would have stood on end!

Cue Cluster: Hand to the back of the neck is usually accompanied by the head down, pacing to burn off negative energy, worried or angry facial expression, eyes wincing, narrowed, blank, or staring intently in a rage. A person might alternate between the neck hold and massaging their entire face with their palms, clenching the fists, erratic movements and gestures and so forth.

Body Language Category: Adaptors, Auto contact or self touching, Clenching and gripping, Closed body language, Disengagement, Dislike (nonverbal), Emotional body language, Frustration or frustrated body language, Negative body language, Stressful body language.

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