Tag Archive for Body Posture

How Men Can Use Negative Body Language

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

"Pecking forward" is a negative body posture for men in courtship because it makes him seem needy and low value.

“Pecking forward” is a negative body posture for men in courtship because it makes him seem needy and low value.

Men should make all their movements more planned, deliberate, and purposeful. Leaning in too much, also referred to as “pecking” forward, is a big fault most men make. Leaning back will force others to engage you, instead of the other way around. Talking quietly also has the affect of forcing people to move closer to you, thereby increasing your status but if done too frequently appears submissive and unconfident.

Don’t be afraid to use negative body language when people do things you don’t like. If they “start on you”, don’t be afraid to turn your back or cross your arms. At the same time, men should display honest and genuine interest and try to build others around them up, but at the same time force them to work for their approval. Most everyone has a sore spot for validation and if you can become a root to their confidence, then they will seek you for approval which gives you the power. However, men shouldn’t be afraid to show interest either. Body language like verbal language is a negotiation.

Does he really want to leave? In most cases, negative body language is truthful, but he's playing a game - hard-to-get!

Does he really want to leave? In most cases, negative body language is truthful, but he’s playing a game – hard-to-get!

One negative body language technique involves talking over a shoulder so as to show some but not total interest in someone. If done correctly it, the body language teases woman and forces them to display stronger signals of interest to keep the man’s attention. That is if she’s been given enough cues to feel compelled to compete for your attention. Using negative body language in this way is especially attractive to women who habitually have men fawning all over them. Far too often men use body language that is open an accepting in all cases and situations even though women don’t fully and sometimes not even partially deserve it. Negative body language shows rejection, which a lot of women are not accustomed to so it brings out their competitive spirit.

Above: Playing hard to get can sometimes put you back in the driver’s seat with women. For example, you could display a carefree attitude by slouching lower in a seat, opening up your posture, and taking up more space than necessary to demonstrate dominance. This may excite certain women since you are displaying as a typical alpha male, but if you go overboard, it will turn women off.

Research Into Purposeful Mirroring

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

A 1999 study by Tanya Chartrand and John Bargh, showed that forced mirroring had a positive effect on liking. In this study, half of the time researchers either mimicked or did not mimic subjects. The remaining actions and behaviours remained the same across both groups meaning that the only factor being manipulated was either mimicry or lack thereof. The participants who had been mimicked reported a greater liking and reported that the conversation carried on much smoother then what was reported by subjects that did not receive any mirroring.

Another study showed that mimicry arouse spontaneously amongst strangers. In this study, participants were examined interacting on two separate occasions. In the first session the researcher interacted with the subject while purposely rubbing their face and in the second, they shook their foot. Videotapes of the session showed that the participants mirrored the actions of the researcher, that is, when the researcher rubbed their face, they did too, and when they shook their foot, so too did the subject. At the end of the study, when asked of their awareness of their mannerisms the subjects pleaded ignorance to their mimicry. This suggests that imitation when around others is spontaneous and happens without prompting. In other words, we naturally imitate others.

Dutch researcher Rick van Baaren and colleagues in a 2003 study demonstrated that mirroring leads to a greater sense of closeness between people. In this marketing study, body posture and mannerisms of participants was either imitated or not. Subjects that were mirrored rated the researchers significantly higher on a closeness rating scale. Thus, despite feigned mirroring, subjects still reported greater liking. In a second study it was found that tipping size increased by sixty-eight percent simply by verbally repeated the orders of patron and in a third study, individuals were more likely to help someone who had dropped items when they had been previously mirrored.

Mirroring can therefore be a powerful and practical tool when used deliberately as evidenced by the research. The research suggests that the propensity to mirror is an adaptive way to converse more efficiently and smoothly. Several other studies show us that people are both more likely to imitate others whom they like, and also like those of which they imitate. This has implications on persuasion since liking has a profound effect on our influence of others. The research also tells us that others are not normally aware of the mirroring that is happening around them, nor of the effect mirroring has on their actions and beliefs. In essence, mirroring is an effective and powerful tool which can be used to create bonds, build rapport, and in essence, get what we want from others.

Summary – Chapter 7

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

In this chapter we looked at how open body positions indicate an open or closed mind. Specifically, we saw that that by having arms and legs that cross the midpoint of the body we indicate a closed mind, negative attitude or disposition, and conversely, that open postures indicate an open mind. This is evident most often through what is called “ventral displays” where the chest and front is exposed. We saw that the hands can convey honesty by showing that “no weapon is present”, that rubbing the hands is figuratively a preparation to receive something (or that we’re cold), and that sudden changes in the hands has real meaning, that pointing is rude and as if throwing a spear, but can and are blocked, by arm crossing which works as a shield.

Next, we examined techniques to open people when they show closed body positions in an attempt to close the “closed”, the meaning of leg crossing and how spreading means dominance, and how the ankle cross indicates a negative, but hidden emotion. The figure-four-leg-position, we found, happens by pulling one leg over the other knee and represents disagreement, the fig leaf is a shameful posture since it hides the genitals from view, and parallel legs which happens by pressed one leg against the other making the legs appear sexier and more youthful. Next we looked at pigeons toes or “tibial torsion”, a submissive body posture indicating meekness, then how the legs tell where the mind thinks through pointing and the four main ways a person might stand; straight up and feet together (attentive), feet apart (a crotch display), one foot forward (shows direction of interest) and legs crossed at the ankle (a submissive posture). We then examined the progression from closed to open as a sequence when meeting new people or being in novel situations, how eye aversion or avoidance can indicate a lack of receptiveness, that the fetal position can be abbreviated by simply pulling limbs to the center of the body and finally how openness is related to status.

Pigeon Toes

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Pigeon toes or 'tibial torsion' is a submissive posture because it forces the body into taking on a smaller form.

Pigeon toes or ‘tibial torsion’ is a submissive posture because it forces the body into taking on a smaller form.

Having the toes pointed inwards, often called pigeon toes or anatomically “tibial torsion” is a submissive body posture. Children, and women who are smitten, will point their toes inwards to show their meekness signally their willingness to be lead by more dominant individuals. Pigeon toes makes the body appear smaller forcing it into a less threatening profile. In a sexual situation, it reflects subjugation from the women and is an indication to others that they aren’t in charge, nor wish to be. This claim assumes that most women wish for and choose more dominant men than themselves, which of course isn’t always the case. However, the dichotomy that exists between the relative sizes of men and that of women, is one extra clue of the desire women have for men to dominate. If this wasn’t so, women would consistently choose shorter and weaker men than themselves which is obviously not the norm.

Young women often subconsciously submit to boys in this way as they take “orders” from someplace inside them. Some might taken offense to this claim, but our sophisticated minds remain a product of evolution and for sex to happen, one person must necessarily submit to that of another, making the submissive process a necessary evil. Submission isn’t a bad thing either, and is present everywhere we look, be it in the workplace between employee-employer, our homes between spouses-someone has to wear the pants and within our extended family-since someone must take the head of the table. In all facets of life there exist power imbalances, and necessarily, someone needs to take charge while others are left to follow. Peace is impossible on the greater context without submission, and pretending to be, or actually being equal, only leads to squabbles.

Sudden Changes In The Hands

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Hands that near another person shows agreement.

Hands that near another person shows agreement.

Hands can show real-time changes in an attitude. Imagine a couple sitting enjoying a romantic meal at a restaurant, with their hands bridging the gap between them as they sit facing one another hand-in-hand. The topic of conversation flows freely, but suddenly switches to a contentious issue, what would you imagine would happen to their hands? When there is disagreement between people, the hands are pulling inward and away from those we disagree with. This sort of behaviour can happen suddenly especially on a heated topic, but can also happen over time on issues that gradually show differences. When total disagreement is present, the body will even be withdrawn where the hands will rest on the lap. Taking the example of the couple above once again, imagine that only one of the two experiences a change in thought to the topic, their hands might remain outstretched in the center of the table and turn palm up as if to offer the idea to their partner as if to try to change their mind. Gradually the other might re-advance to join their hands once again or move them to their lap. As the argument fails, both parties hands might graduate away. If disagreement continues, feet might orient toward the door followed by torsos than finally their heads.

Arms are withdrawn when disagreement is high. These arms are busy protecting the torso in a single arm closed body posture - an 'incomplete hug.'

Arms are withdrawn when disagreement is high. These arms are busy protecting the torso in a single arm closed body posture – an ‘incomplete hug.’

Arms withdraw for a number of reasons but our subconscious mind tunes into our flight response and pulls hands in when we fear they will be hurt, and especially when they are hurt. When we touch a hot stove or hear a loud bang, our arms draw quickly into our bodies to protect them. This happens instantly with no ability to stop it. Likewise, our hands come in when we are worried or threatened despite a lack of physical threat. When our arms come in, our minds feel that they can block attacks better even when they are emotional in nature. Hands can be withdrawn for any number of reasons, not just disagreement, such as dishonesty. Honest hands are palm up, offering something to another person, or palm down in a confident authoritative position, but when hands are pulled away, they signal hidden thoughts of disagreement and lack of connectivity.

Hands can also suddenly change in terms of use of illustrators and seem to pause, stop or slow in their rate of use. Sudden cessation of gesticulation can indicate a freeze response due to being caught in a lie especially when the context warrants it. This is part of the flight or flight response as liars are trying to seem less noticeable. They are “hiding in plain sight” and to do this it is necessary to move less as movement attracts attention. Reducing expressiveness means fewer “tells” or so the lying mind thinks. When hands that are usually busy while talking according to a baseline, suddenly begin to slow, or become less expressive, it can signal a lack of enthusiasm or confidence for the topic. Whatever happens to the hands, when they suddenly change, we know that something internal has changed and it is usually tied directly to whatever is happening in the moment.

Genetic, Learned Or Cultural: Which Is It?

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

Tongue jutting is a universal gesture of distaste. It means, I don't like that. Think of pushing gross food out of your mouth.

Tongue jutting is a universal gesture of distaste. It means, I don’t like that. Think of pushing gross food out of your mouth.

Much debate has been raised about the root causes of emotional facial expressions, that is if they are genetic or learned. In fact, the debate dates back to Aristotle and Darwin, even today studies still debate the universality of facial expressions and their relevance across cultures. The debate revolves around whether or not the language of the body stems from culture, and is learned, or if they are simply part of the human repertoire and exist at birth and are innate. For example, the Chinese stick their tongues out to display surprise, but this isn’t universally consistent. All cultures however, recognize laughter to express joy and tears to express grief. So while we might agree that some expressions are cultural like the Chinese tongue protrusion others are universal such as laughing and crying.

Thumbs up means good things in the West, but in other cultures it means "up yours!"

Thumbs up means good things in the West, but in other cultures it means “up yours!”

Many cultures also determine whether natural expressions are permitted, inhibited or exaggerated further confusing the issue. For example, certain cultures permit open public weeping from grief whereas others inhibit these natural gestures. This is called the “display rule” and it says that it is the culture from which we are raised that determines what level of expression of emotion is permitted. The culture sets the norm. In a study where a particularly gory film was projected to subjects, the Japanese and American subjects showed similar stress-type facial expressions. However, when a scientist was present, the Japanese more than the Americans tended to mask their negative expressions with the use of smiles. While being watched the Americans were more likely to be expressive and the Japanese tended to try to hide their disgust.

Very little research into emotional language by the body, face exempt, has been conducted thus far. It is however clear that gestures such as giving the thumbs up or the victory symbol with the index and middle finger extended, are particularly cultural, it is not clear yet if body posture are particularly cultural or innate. The research does show that cultural differences in expressiveness of body language tend to vary greatly across culture. Studies using blind children as subjects have shown that smiling and embarrassment gestures like hiding the face with the hands, occurs regardless of learning or copying, indicating that they are indeed genetic. There is still a fair amount of work that needs to be done before any real conclusion can be made about the origins of nonverbal signals.