Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction And Sexual Body Language

Image 9201: Something has gone wrong for Dave.  He has lost Scarlett’s attention.  She is showing strong disinterest or boredom.  Her legs are crossed away from Dave, and she is scratching the back of her hands showing that she is uncomfortable.  What is probably most important is that she is looking away, possibly at someone across the room, or toward the exit.  Dave, on the opposite side, is leaning forward and extending his drink in her direction possibly trying to regain her attention.  He’d be better off to either convince her to change her posture or even approach her from the other direction.  If she continues this negative body language she will lose the remainder of any interest she might have had.

Image 9242: Dave has just received a fairly rare and, if cognizant of the signal, obvious gesture of disinterest.  It’s called showing the tongue through compressed lips and is a sign that she is taken and in a relationship with someone else.

Image 8677: Scarlett is showing another image of boredom with her head in her hand and a blank stare.  This is not to be confused with a sign of interest which would occur similarly with her head in her hand but her head would be cocked or tilted 45 degrees to one side.

Image 8974: The same meaning to steepling can be attributed to women.  In this regard, Scarlett feels assured that she is correct in her convictions.  She is also likely acting confrontational, so whatever you have done to have been subjected to this posture, you would be advised to stop and attempt to reverse it.

Image 0339: Both Mark and Julie are showing closed and disinterested body postures.  Both have arms crossed and are guarded and both are looking away from each other.  Clearly, there is no interest by either of them.

Image 0394: Julie isn’t taking well to Mark.  Her left hand is placed in between her legs so as to hide it and close off her torso.  She is also looking away from him.  Mark is showing a fairly needy position due to his chest being forward and he is leaning in toward Julie.  He is also wringing his hands showing that he is nervous.  Leaning on one’s thighs, in this way, is sometimes a defensive posture as it protects the torso from exposure.  Depending on how leaning is performed, it could also mean interest as it brings the body closer to the speaker, but in this case, it does not.

Image 0456: In this photograph Mark has a fairly awkward and aggressive body posture with his jaw and fists clenched.  Julie isn’t taking well to him as she has closed off her body and is leaning away from him.  Her legs are crossed and her shoulder is forming a barrier toward him.  While her neck is exposed she is blocking his view of it with her arm and is avoiding eye contact altogether by looking at the floor.  Julie is not interested.

Image 9733: Dave is doing a poor job at reading Scarlett’s body language.  He is more than likely invading her space without permission.  Her face is turned away from him and drawn back from her natural body plane.  Dave is leaning in and therefore acting confrontational.  I suspect that Dave is moving too quickly and if he persists Scarlett will be taking a big step backwards, possibly towards the nearest exit.

Image 9243: Scarlett is either completely bored and yawning or else offended by what Dave has said.  Dave is obviously on the wrong track to attraction.  His body language also indicates his own misfortune.  His reaction shows his admittance to being caught saying something that he shouldn’t have.

Image 9248: An interested woman will rarely be concerned with the hour.  Being lost in the time is not happening here.  Scarlett would surely not be concerned about being out too late if Dave was more interesting.  Dave, on the other hand, is displaying poor body language as he is speaking through his hand.  This is common for people with low self confidence who feel awkward or uncomfortable or who are lying.  He also has one hand in his pocket which is normally perceived as dishonest, like he is hiding something.

Image 0339: Both Mark and Julie are showing closed and disinterested body postures.  Both have arms crossed and are guarded and both are looking away from each other.  Clearly, there is no interest by either of them.

Image 1046: Julie is either disinterested or cold as her arms and legs are crossed.  Mark is also partially closed off with his leg crossed and his right arm forming a barrier.  Mark should try to open up his body positions and see if he can elicit the same reaction from Julie.

Image 1004: Julie is thwarting Mark’s touch.  He has missed her clues and hints and has mistakenly assumed that she is interested.

Image 1010: Julie is using the chair to close Mark off from her.  Mark could simply go around the chair, but more than likely Julie would just reposition to avoid him once again.  Julie isn’t interested.

Image 8711: This is the full body slouch or sag.  Scarlett also has a blank look on her face.  She is obviously disinterested in Dave.

Image 8654: Scarlett is obviously bored, tired or just plain disinterested.  When a woman is sexually attracted to a man, her body will be flooded with gratifying hormones that will prevent her from feeling tired when around you.  Scarlett seems to be lacking in these hormones at the present time.  She also may signal boredom with a kicking motion of her foot, looking at a watch or clock, drumming her fingers or tapping her toes.  These gestures are normally accompanied by a blank disinterested stare or else a forced or unnatural smile.

Image 8677: Scarlett is showing another image of boredom with her head in her hand and a blank stare.  This is not to be confused with a sign of interest which would occur similarly with her head in her hand but her head would be cocked or tilted 45 degrees to one side.

Image 9545: Here Dave is in a losing battle with himself.  He is relinquishing all the power to Scarlett.  She is somewhat disinterested and moving backwards and away, which is forcing Dave to move forward to continue the conversation.  While her legs are open, she is using her right hand to force her skirt down and would likely cross her legs if she was able to, but since Dave is so close, she can’t.  She is also using her left arm to block him out, is leaning away from the bar, and is most likely trying her best to make a tactful exit from the situation.

Image 9164: Scarlett is not necessarily showing disinterest here, but she is showing a defensive and protective posture.  Having her hands together over her genitals represents the proverbial fig leaf.  It is important to keep in mind that body language is rooted in the human psychology.  Our instincts precede clothing which now serve as protection against unwanted eye assaults.

Image 9310: While Scarlett’s posture might seem neutral, in fact, it is not.  Her legs are crossed at the ankle and her right arm is crossed against her body.  These are both defensive gestures and show that she is not relaxed and is being protective of herself.  Having her legs crossed, in essence, is a way for her to hide her private area, in this case, from obvious display in the presence of Dave.  Dave, on the other hand, is fairly relaxed but is using the bar for support which is a display of timidity.  Dominant men don’t need protection or support from a bar or wall; they feel comfortable being by themselves.  He also shows poor body language by placing his hand in his pocket instead of using it to animate the conversation.

Image 9419: Scarlett is clearly interested in Dave and is showing this through proximity.  You may not notice that she has her breast pushed up against him, but Dave does!  It hasn’t happened by accident either.  Scarlett is trying to send Dave a strong message of interest.  Grabbing the belt loop is also added into the equation to further show interest and intimacy.

Image 0879: Both parties are fairly reserved and protected at this initial meeting.

Image 0571:This approach is not welcome.  Julie is avoiding Mark’s advances.  He should have waited for her to signal some moderate interest before moving in.  She is looking as far away from him as possible, her legs are pressed tightly together, and her right arm is protecting her torso.  Mark has used his left hand to test Julie’s receptivity by moving into her space and she hasn’t responded.  While it may seem that she is unaware that he has done this, she is, but is simply not interested.

Image 1052: Julie is avoiding putting her interest back on Mark by keeping the majority of her body facing someone to the left of the photograph.  Mark has said something amusing but it has only resulted in having Julie move her head towards him and not the remainder of her body.  Someone is competing against Mark for Julie’s attention and is winning.  Mark also seems to have succumbed to this mysterious third person as his body indicates that his interest is also directed that way.

Image 0585: An unwelcome approach.

Image 9329: Both Dave and Scarlett are showing defensive and therefore negative body language.  For Scarlett, the drink at the chest comes across as negative body language because it is figuratively blocking Dave out.  Dave is also showing that he is awkward or defensive by having his hands in his pockets.  Aside from those key gestures, there is good eye contact which means there is still a chance for Dave to turn it up a notch.

Image 8646: This posture by Scarlett signifies dominance, ownership of the situation, and confidence.  Often this would mean that she is disinterested.  She is sending a powerful non-attraction signal to Dave.  In effect, she is saying that she is just fine by herself and doesn’t need the “help” of a man.  Some women are naturally more confident so you will have to use accompanying signals to verify her interest.  Simply because she adopts the position, doesn’t mean she is necessarily a dominant person, but it does lead one to predict some fairly accurate behavioural predispositions she might have about men and relationships, especially if she commonly does this around you.

Image 0877: Here is another variation of closed and disinterested body posture.  Note Julie’s left arm crossed over her body and holding her elbow and her legs crossed at the ankle.  She is also avoiding eye contact.  Dave is showing the classic restraint body posture by holding the back of his neck.  He is probably fairly upset with himself or her but is trying to remain reserved.

Image 8703: Scarlett is bored once again as she performs a kicking motion with her foot.

Image 9222: In this photograph, Scarlett is showing boredom and disinterest.  She is overtly scanning the room and also leaning away from Dave.  She’s in essence saying, I’d much rather be over there, than here with you.  Dave is casual and relaxed, but this might be a sign that he needs to liven up his dialogue and regain her interest.

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Christopher Philip, Author.

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