The western version of the crotch display. Imagine this fella totally nude! Perhaps not attractive to women, but his assertiveness might be.
There are a few postures that men use to display their prowess, but the jury is out as to whether or not women find them attractive per se. One of these postures is the cowboy posture which happens by placing the thumbs in a belt loop and aiming the remaining fingers toward the genitals. Interested women do tend to look at the crotch of men of interest, but performing the display might not make a man appear more sexually attractive.
The crotch display in action.
A second version of the crotch display is to keep the legs spread open where the hand may be found on the inside of the thigh in a “ready position” or propped up on a knee. These signals are less of a sexual invitation than they are signal of their dominance over others in the room, which in and of itself makes them appear more attractive to women. New Guinea natives use what is called the penis sheath, also called koteka, horim or penis gourd to emphasis and draw attention to their genitals. It is usually made from a dried gourd and tied with a small loop around the scrotum with a secondary loop tied around the chest or abdomen and is worn without clothing. The penis sheath is usually tied in an upward position but some tribes position them to point straight out, up or at an angle. The penis sheath is an excellent example of sexually selected behaviour that came about through culture and serves to illustrate the power behind the male crotch display. What is done by western cultures is not much different if modesty and the clothing is stripped aside, so to speak. Western men use slight of hand through pointing and leg spreading to draw eyes, whereas the penis sheath draws attention to male prowess through a much more obvious and grand scale.
Micheal Jackson had no shortage of female fans and perhaps this was due to his frequent crotch grabs, although I suspect it has more to do with his deep pockets (or maybe his signing talent?). Men also draw attention to their crotch in other ways such as with their hands by motioning or placing a hand on the inner thigh, or re-orienting so the crotch faces the women directly. Men use subtle preening gestures such as fixing hair, straightening a tie or collar, or removing lint, but these aren’t as common when compared to women as sexual signals. This runs us full circle to our original though and that is that men display attractiveness through status and dominant indicators rather than any physical cue or posture. As it where though, some of men’s body positions can reveal this very characteristic.
I’ve been reading that when men siting across you and he’s siting with legs both spread apart or the crotch display gesture it means that he’s at very least thinks you are attractive and probably is into you.
But many times i found someone do not exactly giving me the crotch display siting gesture directly but more of slightly turning away.
Lets say if frontally is 12 o’clock (like the picture above) this would be a 1.30 or 2 o’clock but in a situation where there was no other woman, or even no other people at all.
Is this thing still have the same meaning?
Also is there a possibility this is just a sign of dominance instead of attraction?
Legs spread open is a display of dominance when done by men and women. And when done by men can be a sign of attraction but only within the confines of him desiring to attract through dominance. That might sound confusing, but leg spreading is (almost) always a form of dominance and a man will attract through dominance, but dominance and sexual interest are not always coupled. So he might be interested sexually, but he might not be. Best to look for other signals of interest. I will warn that men are usually more direct with their cues and are usually the pursuers so rely far less on body language as a means displaying interest when compared to women. In other words, men will display cues of dominance to attract female attention and elicit cues of attraction from women rather than the other way around.
You are also right in keying in on his relative angle (ventral fronting). When the torso is aimed away or in your case, the crotch is aimed away it means that attention is direct away. This can also mean that a person wishes to leave and so is getting ready to go in that direction, or can even be a sign of being polite as in not wanting to appear too dominant or offensive such as a full crotch display. Conversely, it might mean disinterest and really just wants to get out of there. Usually, hands will be put on the thighs leaning forward in a sprinters or “ready posture” and the eyes will be cast away most of the time as if distracted.
Like all body language, it’s important to look for many related cues to determine the meaning.
So to answer your question, dominance displays means that a man at least wants to appear in charge, that is dominant, but not necessarily for sexual reasons!
Hopefully that helps at least a little bit. Thanks for your question!
I hate to break it to you, but this whole “crotch display” business is bogus. I am a guy and I spread my legs because my balls get bunched up and squished if I sit with them closed. Needless to say, it is extremely uncomfortable. Nobody is asserting dominance by spreading their legs, they are trying to air out the goods.
Some “body language,” as you are describing has no “hidden meaning” and is done to serve an actual function. You spread your legs because it’s uncomfortable to do otherwise.
This is called an “adaptor.”
For example, some people scratch their neck, not because they are nervous and lying, but because they are actually itchy.
On the other hand, some people scratch because they are becoming itchy as overactive sweat glands become stimulated from nervousness.
Next, you need to look at people’s baseline and objectively compare how they normally act, to how the act in specific circumstances.
Do they itch all the time due to dry skin, or are they nervous as they get ready to perform in a specific high stress task?
Now you have more background. While it’s wrong to assume that all men spread their legs due to dominance, as you consciously realize that you’re uncomfortable with legs together, others do it (and in varying intensities of leg spreading) to showcase their genitals as an indication of their dominance.
Taking up space is a well researched nonverbal display.
Do you slouch down in your chair while spreading your legs wide open when you talk to your boss? Try that at your girlfriends house in front of her Dad. You’ll find this posture to be very uncomfortable. Try it.
Ok you’re right this is little bit confusing.
In my case i often find this kind of gestures in workplace. No i already checked if they were slightly turning away toward the door. But no, usually the door is even on the opposite direction.
And what I want to know about is not the kind of attraction like in dating. But more of a hidden attraction, a kind of attraction that exist but so little to no action will follow.
I still believe that gender attraction in workplace could bring an advantages. Not sex affair or anything but maybe a little help and a favor here and there.
Is there any gesture that you can suggest for me to notice since apparently the crotch display is not gonna help so much?
So you like a guy, but you want to make sure he likes you, and you work together? Am I getting the drift?
If that’s the case, looking for his body language is probably not going to help you all that much to be honest. In nature (dating context), body language is mostly used by women to solicit attention from men rather than the other way around. While a man will use body language in a broad stroke fashion to appear as a dominant, healthy, masculine suitor, he doesn’t necessarily use it outwardly to attract. You might want to read the section of the book starting here, onward: http://bodylanguageproject.com/the-only-book-on-body-language-that-everybody-needs-to-read/he-displays-dominantly-sexually-gets-closer-and-builds-rapport-introduction/
Those are tips I suggest for men to look more attractive to women. The problem is, that not all men do these things and if they do, usually do it all the time as status seekers. These are cues men use to elicit sexual body language from women. See what I’m getting at? Chicken and egg kind of deal. a) man is dominant b) women flirts c) man approaches.
You want work the system backwards!
My suggestion is to take a more active approach if you really like the guy. Study the female sexual cues and start emitting them specifically to the object of your affection. [http://bodylanguageproject.com/the-only-book-on-body-language-that-everybody-needs-to-read/introduction-chapter-13/] The more cues you put out the more hints you will give him to approach. Think of sexual cues like granting him permission to pursue. I suggest you do at least 3-4 independent cues, aim them at him through proximity and eye contact, and then wait to see if he gets the message. The more you do, the more overt you will be and the more likely he is to “get” them. Sometimes 3 isn’t enough, or he misses them – men are cautious too especially in the workplace as they don’t want to take part in workplace harassment. If you put it on heavy, like really heavy (some men really need to be sure) and he still doesn’t respond, then it means he’s not interested and you are both no worse for wear because it was all done non-verbally.
Cues you might look for in him are a desire to isolate (you) and increased proximity – sitting close by, moving in to talk, light touching, etc.
Remember that men are programmed to wait for permission so they usually do rely on the girl to show interest first before taking it from there!
Umm actually it’s not about one particular guy. I want to know who finds me interesting or attractive.
Therefor, i know whom i can come to when i need a favor. Who would cut some slack for me. Off course not everyone are in this position to help me. A clerk probably could only help me so little, but a manager could do more, I need to know which one like me enough to help me.
When i need a help it will be too tiring and frustating to ask for everybody help. Its so much easier when you know where everybody stands.
Those who like you or finds you attractive have a bigger chance to help you than those who dont, am i right?
That changes things a little! If you want to gain favours then it’s best to avoid sexual body language – although you could add some elements, just avoid doing too many to give the wrong impression. Being a tease can lead to good and bad outcomes but if a sexual relationship is not your desire, then more bad outcomes may arise. I think this is obvious.
I would recommend acting more submissive. This is the best way to gain sympathy and assistance from others. Start here: http://bodylanguageproject.com/the-only-book-on-body-language-that-everybody-needs-to-read/introduction-chapater-8/
Also look up smiles and laughter: http://bodylanguageproject.com/the-only-book-on-body-language-that-everybody-needs-to-read/introduction-chapter-6/
These are cues that will make you seem meek and in need of protection. You will want to balance them with cues of dominance, especially in the workplace and around those who respond negatively to your submissive cues. Not all men and women will tolerate weakness, especially in the work place. The same goes with sexual cues and most of them are rooted in submission as you will see if you read those chapters.
The more submissive you act, generally speaking, as a default, the more you will appear to need assistance and appear non-threatening. You will know it’s working if requests you make while using the cues are granted.
Hmm this shed some light. Thank you!
I always thought all of it is in one package, meaning when they get attracted, they spontaneously want to help you.
Maybe it’s not always the case and I can think of it separately now. They can be useful source without having them attracted to you, or they can attracted to you and still no chance you can ask for help.
There’s a guy on my train who is always near me, has held my gaze for longer than is comfortable (very powerful), sat opposite and given me the ‘crotch display’, and more recently stood over me when I was sat down, and his crotch was at my eye level. Any thoughts?
Did he smile at you? You may not have noticed, but how did him, looking at you, make you feel? In other words, was his gaze creepy or did you find it attractive?
You outlined plenty of dominance displays which is typical for men during courtship, but unless you can say for sure that his dominance display had direction, it might simply indicate his baseline or his general demeanor. If he made a point to stand close to you, it could spell sexual interest, but it’s overt and possibly offensive if he just shoved his crotch in your face…you know, unless there were no other places for him to stand!
Many times, dominance is simply an attractive quality that men either have or don’t. It’s not exactly used specifically to attract the interest of a particular woman, if you understand what I’m getting at. Men use more direct tactics to gain female interest. In other words, he’ll just come talk to you. But, if he’s smart, he’ll wait for permission. That is, the right cues of interest – courtship cues, to tell him which women will find his approach welcome.
If you find him attractive, send him some positive courtship cues yourself and see if it elicits the desired response! Try tilting your head to the side, playing with your hair a bit, make eye contact, then lower your gaze. Punctuate the cluster with a coy smile. I bet it peeks his interest.
Or conversely, if you find it offensive, send cues of disinterested or closed body language.
Im a guy and when I see my Doctor, I notice when he sits down to talk to me he really spreads his legs, opens up. And I’ve noticed when he sits down with others, he crosses his legs or keeps his legs together.
Generally this would mean that he’s trying to express dominance with you rather than with others.
I don’t know if you still monitor this thread, but I am curious and would like an opinion if you would be so kind, so here it goes…
A guy at work showed some signs of interest. Like standing a little close if he has to see something on my computer, etc. Out of self-consciousness, I would move a little further away.
One day he placed his hands on my shoulders when I was sitting down at my desk. I did not turn around or respond.
We did text and initially he would respond instantly, apologize when he could not and added a lot to the conversation. Later he became more reserved.
Even after his texting became reserved, I would often feel his eyes on me as he is in a pretty good position in a corner (back facing me) to steal glances.
He also has a habit of listening in on my conversations with others – in particular the other men in the team.
He makes time to deal with my concerns even when it is inconvenient, or even if he makes someone else wait in the process.
He catches my jokes and references. He likes Phantom of the Opera, Nickelback AND Metallica. Truly thinks it is beautiful, not just tolerates it. He knows that 42 is the answer to life, the universe and everything. And LoTR is a favourite of his. Needless to say, that is as scarce as chicken teeth…
Thought he might have been interested and just lost interest / wanted to give me space.
Then a few days ago (after noticing how awesome the suit looked), I stared at his crotch for just a second (was sitting open-legged).
A little mortified, since I am pretty sure he noticed.
The next day I had to speak to him about something and as I was approaching, he mouthed “Me?” with an amazed look. I nodded and started speaking about the work.
Yesterday, after coming back from a meeting, I needed to give him a quick update again. He was wearing jeans, in quite a dominant open-legged position.
He then used his thumb to move the point of his shirt and his thumb pointed directly at his crotch. I am pretty sure he did it deliberately and was watching my reaction.
He then stretched out on his chair with his arms up to place his hands behind his head (exposing his armpits, or rather his slightly sweaty shirt, lol).
So, I have come to the conclusion that the best way to find out if he does like me is to see if he will act on it.
But I am really terrible at this. Lol.
Any ideas on how I can show (non-verbally) that I am definitely interested? Team going out for drinks next week – on my birthday.
Yes, for sure! I wrote a whole article on signals that a woman likes a man. Most women would naturally do these things…you may have actually been doing them subconsciously, but them turning off a little and confusing him. Many men are scared as hell too and want to know for sure. Men have been conditioned as women have, to be careful and not to be too overt – especially in the office. So women really need to take the drivers seat and give the man “PERMISSION” and be fairly obvious so they don’t end up with a sexual harassment claim being put against them. In other words, pour it on thick if he doesn’t get it…if you’re ready for the results 🙂
http://bodylanguageproject.com/articles/how-to-read-body-language-of-women-how-to-read-over-50-sexual-cues-of-female-body-language-for-flirting-part-1/
I would say start off slow, and just add more. Sounds like you’re really hitting it off!
Hi, I am a 21 yr old female, i have been going to see this doctor for a few months now. He never breaks eye contact with me, i can feel him stare at my butt when i walk out of the exam room. He leans in and takes his glasses off and the last couple appointments he sat with his legs wide open . in the last appointment he gave his package a little scratch and i looked down of course we were engaged in an intense eye lock while he was explaning something to me so he totally noticed me ball gazing. Is he interested in me, just comfortable with me,or as a doctor is he supposed to be really eye contacty. I hope you read this and get back to me! I need to know before i embarass myself.
If you are an attractive 21 year old female, he’s probably attracted to you. Just biology. From the cues you gave me, they could really mean anything. Sounds like you’re interested in him…if he’s single make the first move. Otherwise professional codes of conduct prohibit him from acting, I would assume.