Tag Archive for Warmth

Looking Up Through The Forehead

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

Head titled at 45 degrees coupled with the looking-up-through-the-forehead is a cue cluster of interest.

Head titled at 45 degrees coupled with the looking-up-through-the-forehead is a cue cluster of interest.

Looking up through the forehead is done by tilted the head at a forty-five degree angle and looking upwards. The posture is a reflection back into early childhood as children look up at us as seeking our approval or permission. Children might even add a big pouty lip as icing on the cake! This is a submissive posture and is included here in the chapter on eye language because the eyes play such an important role. When used by women it comes across as a “come-hither look.” It makes women appear more childlike and evokes protective feelings in men. The posture can be used to gain sympathy from others as well. Take for example, the asking of directions in a foreign environment. Adding a head tilt shows that you are no threat and also shows that you are in need of help. Subconsciously, people will see that you sincerely need and deserve the help, and will be more willing to assist you. It might even help reduce punishment should the context warrant it.

This interest posture is hard to miss.

This interest posture is hard to miss.

A study conducted in 2006 headed by Eva Krumhuber of the United Kingdom presented subjects with male and female computerized characters differing in types of smiles and head tilting. They found that a “slow onset smile”, a smile that gradually forms versus one that quickly flashes across the face, was not only more attractive, more trustworthy and more flirtatious but also less fake and less dominant. This held true for both men and women. The head tilt added an extra positive dimension as well. In the study they rated people as being even more attractive and trustworthy when they canted their head rather than kept it upright. The lesson here is that both men and women can use head tilt coupled with an honest slow growing smile to positively influence people.

The head tilt can also be helpful in creating cooperative arrangements or even favourable impressions, empathy and warmth, with just about everyone. Women are traditionally the most effective users of this gesture and for children, it comes naturally. Children are keen to use this ploy on us as they beg for sweets or for a sleep-over party or permission to join extra curricular activities. They pout their lips, tilt their head, and look up at us through sad eyes. If done properly, it makes us want to care for them and meet their needs but if overused, it makes us revolt, not unlike what we might see if overused by adults.

Gazing

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

Avoiding eye contact shows disagreement.

Avoiding eye contact shows disagreement.

Eye contact and gaze are some of the most salient nonverbal behaviours in human interaction. It is the first connection a mother has with her infant and the first interaction that infant has with anyone. Through gazing forms a very powerful and special bond between mother and infant. However, even mothers differ in their strength and frequency of gaze with their children. Affectionate mothers will go out of their way to kneel so as to bring their eyes into level, whereas, less affectionate mothers tend to lean forward instead and use gaze much less frequently. These experiences from early development formulate our norms which can persist throughout our lives. Only with conscious effort can we change them, but first we must understand the purpose and function of gaze and also what good gaze habits really are.

Over the course of a typical day, eye gaze can reveal cues to interest, attention, affiliation, intimacy, approval, dominance, aggression and openness to personal involvement. Gaze happens in a much different way than a stare. Stares are like daggers, shooting invisible arrows into the face of another. A gaze is inviting and a display of warmth. A gaze includes the attachment of a positive emotion which men sometimes have difficulty with. Lovers are particularly adept at gazing, with bouts sometimes lasting for several minutes, other times even much longer. As early as six children seem to pick up that eye contact and gaze indicate a connection. Young girls tend to realize it sooner than young boys and women tend to enjoy gaze more than men and so use eye contact and gaze more readily. Additionally, women will hold eye-gaze for longer periods of time than men, which is most evident when women gaze at other women.

Gazing is eye language that can take up various meaning depending on how it is done. The “face-gaze” happens when one person directs their eyes at another person’s face. “Eye-gaze”, on the other hand, happens when the gaze is directed toward the eyes of another but of which that person might not reciprocate. “Mutual-gaze” happens when two people look each other’s faces which might include bouts of eye-gaze and “eye-contact” refers to two people looking directly into each other’s eyes. Other forms of gaze include “omission”, defined as a failure to look at someone without intending to and “avoidance”, in which a person purposely prevents eye contact. Most are familiar with “staring”, but to be sure, we define it as a persistent look that occurs regardless of what another person is doing. Simply defining the types of gazes and eye contact likely evoke some pretty strong feelings which can be positive as in the case of mutual gaze or negative as in the stare. Prolonged eye contact early in a loosely established relationship is almost always taken negatively, or with hostility, and decoded by others as offensive. We may even think prolonged eye contact is a result of projected dislike or even disapproval of others, even when it is the result of affection or attraction. Holding gaze for as little as three seconds longer than normal can come across as over-assertiveness and create contempt. However, because we aren’t always aware of eye contact consciously, others won’t be able to describe the reason for their feelings which is why the use of gaze needs to be taken seriously.