Tag Archive for Sit

Independent And Opposite Position

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

When people sit to do work but do not want to talk to each other, they will sit in the "independent and opposite" seating arrangement. We see this with strangers in a limited seating cafeteria or in a library when strangers share tables.

When people sit to do work but do not want to talk to each other, they will sit in the “independent and opposite” seating arrangement. We see this with strangers in a limited seating cafeteria or in a library when strangers share tables.

When the object is to show independence, than an opposite, yet diagonal seating position is recommended. We see this most often in cafeteria style arrangements when sitting by oneself isn’t possible and tables are filled with strangers but we still want the most amount of privacy possible. Students will choose this arrangement when studying separately in a library as it permits independent thought and separation avoids any direct eye contact should either party need a break from their work. When subjects were asked to sit and do work quietly in one study this was the most common seating arrangement. Usually the space between the parties will be evenly split and be occupied by handbags, books, papers and other belongings to reserve them from being taken up. Obviously this position should be avoided when cooperation and affiliation formation is has the reverse effect. The independent and opposite position when it is not expected creates hostility and shows indifference.

Introduction – Chapter 15

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

Where we sit at a table or how we arrange our guests can influence the ability to form bonds and share information. Sometimes arriving to a table early helps, other times we end up at a disadvantage because those we wish to communicate with most end up sitting in locations that make them less accessible. Arriving midway through represents the best case scenario, but if you aren’t aware of the propensity to which people speak to one another, this will give you no advantage at all since you won’t know where to sit.

The most powerful people will almost always prefer to sit facing the entry because it allows them to see first hand who is entering and prevents them from sneaking up from behind. Likewise, we find that sitting on the inside at a restaurant allows us the best vantage because it puts everyone else in front of us and inhibits interruptions from those passing in isles. In this chapter we will learn that it’s best to avoid sitting side by side if possible, especially when trying to form a good impression or when trying to assess someone. Reading people is best done face-to-face but this raises a competitive head to head arrangement, as we shall see. We will also learn that our reasons for meeting will tell us how we should sit because, and what affect seating has on the outcome.

In this chapter we will cover seating arrangements and their effect. We will learn that how we sit indicates our reason for meeting, how rectangular tables and circular tables have trickle down leadership effects, how square tables can set up cooperation or confrontation, how leaders always choose to sit at the head of the table or will lose their status to he who does, and how we can change minds by boxing in our “object” with the right associates. Next we cover how offices should be set up, how artifacts aren’t just for decoration and how high-chairs aren’t for babies. We then learn about where to sit in an auditorium to be completely forgotten and where the keeners sit in class.

Proximity, Pointing And Touching

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

Proximity indicator of interest.

Proximity indicator of interest.

Proximity plays a huge factor in dating and anything done to decrease space between tow people is a good signal of attraction. Sometimes, closeness is real, for example a woman might get up and physically move closer to a man, she might move a chair next to him or she might opportunistically take up a position close-by on a sofa. All cues that are important give alternative options to sit. Sometimes too, proximity is figurative such as is the case when women point, or when eyes are cast.

The "pointing knee" happens when a woman sites on her foot and aims her knee toward the man of interest.

The “pointing knee” happens when a woman sites on her foot and aims her knee toward the man of interest.

If touching was unwelcome, then an accidental touch would result in her hand being pulled away.

If touching was unwelcome, then an accidental touch would result in her hand being pulled away.

Touching escalation.

Touching escalation.

Pointing, like eyeing, are ways to bring people close together without actually moving. Both are reliable indicators of where we’d rather be, or who we are thinking about. We can point with our eyes, our toes or feet, or our knees. The pointing knee happens when a woman sites on her foot and aims her knee toward the man of interest. This is sometimes also a signal of being relaxed and informal which extends the meaning of the pointing knee. Escape is difficult in this position so when done by a woman it means that she is comfortable around whomever she is with at the time. Dangling a shoe is another informal signal of comfort for the same reason. The pointing knee also shows fleeting glimpses to the inner thigh which can be arousing to men. Leaning in or toward, standing next to someone or even isolating oneself from friends all shows interest when done by women.

Touching is another great signal of attraction even if it happens ‘accidentally’. Women will make a point to brush up against men of interest and as we have seen may groom them if they wish to send a strong message. Have you ever wondered if he or she really likes you? Try accidentally brushing a knee or leg up against someone under the table. If they pull away or turn immediately than it’s due to disinterest, but if it’s embraced and “footsies” ensue then it’s an excellent signal of interest. To make sure the signal is anchored try casting occasional flirty eye contact. This is a signal that can be used by either men or women. When outside of a dating context, the same pulling away will be found so this isn’t limited to courtship. People that hate each other like to maintain as much space as possible and even accidental touching is unwelcome.

Leaving a tie un-straightened can give women an excuse to touch and is a great way to measure interest by men. To send a much more subtle signal of touching an object might take the place of a person. Such is the case with caress the stem of a wine glass, ring, watch or car keys. The back of the hand, the neck, the shoulders, or side of the face can also show interest. Self touching is a way to prepare the body for touching by someone else and also indicates what type of touching women wish to receive. Self-touching is a ‘fix’ that is used to alleviate the symptoms of the desire to be touched, and indicates where a women’s mind is thinking.

Parallel Legs

by  • March 5, 2013 • 1 Comment

Pressing the legs together makes them appear youthful and toned.

Pressing the legs together makes them appear youthful and toned – even when caught being clumsy.

The legs parallel is a sign of femininity because men aren’t easily able to perform this posture for obvious anatomical reasons and because it makes women’s legs appear toned. Men have much narrower hips than women, and an extra bit in the way, and so therefore aren’t able to sit in this fashion! The parallel legs posture occurs with one leg pressed against the other making the legs appear sexier and more youthful. Women who are trying to draw sexual attention to themselves use this sitting position. The most overt sitting posture of all is having legs spread and will attract the greatest amount of sexual attention, but appears much more crude and less feminine.