Tag Archive for Shirt Button

Grooming And Preening

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

A woman grooming a man is a good sign that she's trying to keep him looking good for her own benefit.

A woman grooming a man is a good sign that she’s trying to keep him looking good for her own benefit.

Grooming includes smoothing clothing, rearranging attire, rubbing the hands, glancing in a mirror and, applying lipstick, fixing the hair amongst many others. While not a grooming gesture per se, women can also provocatively leave buttons unbuttoned, especially a button-up blouse in effort to peek men’s curiousity. These are all signals of interest within the proper context. We all, men included, groom and preen ourselves in order to appear more presentable and attractive to others. The more concerned we are with our looks, the more it indicates our desire to show off and attract and the timing with which this happens is extremely important because it indicates to us the purpose of the adjustments and whom the fixes are meant for. For example, if a woman appears relaxed in her attire, perhaps wearing comfortable jeans and a sloppy sweat shirt rather than something more “put together”, and stumbles upon someone she feels is attractive, she might begin to panic and hyper groom in effort to minimize whatever damage she figures she has caused to her image. Grooming tells us that she feels his opinion matters which is no different from men. Men will smooth out ties or a shirt, button up a jacket to appear more formal, smooth out their pants or fix their hair.

Grooming gestures become particularly powerful delivered with eye contact too, not just with respect to proximity and visibility. Eye contact for example is an “anchor” for sexual signals as it hooks the signal to a particular target. Grooming absent of a target and hence eye contact, might mean, either, the desire to attract in general as we saw in the “parade” where women are just acting like magnets to see what sticks, or else a superficial desire to appear put together for it’s own sake. Grooming and preening can also be done on other people to indicate interest. A woman might pluck some imaginary lint from a man’s clothing that she fancies, while another she detests might go an entire evening with food stuck to the side of his face. She might also fix a man’s hair, straighten and adjust clothing or rub his back, all methods of showing interest. The touching and proximity that comes as a result of grooming is not just incidental, it’s the driving force. Touching is a strong indicator of interest especially when initiated by a woman.

Above: Preening gestures indicate that a woman is preparing herself for someone else to touch her but when a woman plucks some imaginary lint from a man’s clothing she’s probably interested. She might also fix a man’s hair, straighten and adjust clothing or rub a man’s back to show interest. Back touching, scratching and massaging is an evolutionary throwback when we used to have totally hairy bodies and removing tics would have been a major hygienic necessity. It’s where “you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours” came from. Regardless, touching and close proximity when done by a woman to a man, can be taken as a strong sign of sexual interest. Learn how to build a proper foundation for dating and attraction by reading the Ebook Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language!

The Security Blanket

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

Playing with a sleeve of cufflink is a leaked gesture because it replaces a full arm cross but still provides the feeling of comfort.

Playing with a sleeve of cufflink is a leaked gesture because it replaces a full arm cross but still provides the feeling of comfort.

As we get older we are taught that certain behaviours and habits are unacceptable. Carrying a security blanket, for example, while acceptable as a toddler is unbecoming in grade school so it is weaned. Perhaps as a by-product of our recent, in evolutionary terms at least, bipedalism, we’ve failed to fully adjust methods of keep our hands busy. Bipedalimsm is the term used to describe walking on two feet which is rare in the animal kingdom. When under pressure, our hands and arms are the first to feel out of place and give away our awkwardness. Even those that spend a lot of time in front of large audiences can still be found with “security blankets”, as it were whose purpose is to keep busy our free appendages.

The cuff link is a common choice for men attending formal affairs because it gives their hands a use instead of dangling awkwardly as they walk. Next time you see a televised awards show watch carefully as a presenter or an award winner make his way up to the stage, he just might show his awkwardness by fingering his cufflink. Reaching across the body in this way is also an abbreviated arm cross since the hands come out in front of the body forming a barrier, in this case a loose loop.

A purse can be used as a shield to protect the torso. If you want to know how she really feels about you, just measure much she trusts you around her purse.

A purse can be used as a shield to protect the torso. If you want to know how she really feels about you, just measure much she trusts you around her purse.

This type of body language is defined as ‘leaked’ because consciously the person is trying to prevent it from happening, but their conscious mind is only successful at blocking a more obvious gesture by replacing it with one that is slightly less pronounced. The gestures are also considered “masked arm crosses” because they create a barrier-effect protecting the body, but aren’t full blow arm crosses. Other forms of gestures that fall in the same family include holding or clutching a bag, checking the contents of a bag or briefcase where the arms must cross the body, playing with a bracelet, watch or shirt button and holding a drink with both hands. Any sort of motion that allows one hand or arm to cross the center of the body, or where a crutch object is sought that otherwise serves little or no appropriate purpose, qualifies as a security blanket. To those aware of the cue, it is a very easy ‘tell’ to catch, because there really is no purpose for the behaviour aside from tension relief.

What to know if a women trust you? See how she reacts around her handbag! The handbag is a very personal item for women and she uses it as an item of security. When nervous or out of place, she can dive into her bag and checks its contents so as to symbolically connects her to the comforts of home and exempt her from outside interruptions. In other words, while she checks her back, she’s busy, don’t bother her! Handbags give women something to grasp onto and hold especially if they feel particularly self-conscious or insecure and will feel naked without it. On the other hand, if she allows the handbag contents to be viewed by a potential male suitor, or trusts him to guard it, you can bet that she is willing to explore a relationship. Women are personally connected to their handbags!