Tag Archive for Ready Position

Leaning And Ready Language In The Office And Elsewhere

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

We show attentiveness and also readiness, meaning a preparedness to take action by leaning toward the speaker, or things we want to get closer to, and away from speakers, or things we want to avoid. “Things” in the sentence previous can mean anything from proposals, ideas, opinions, decisions or anything else for that matter. This “ready posture” is akin to the sprinters ready position at the starting blocks and is called an “intention movement” because it tells us what someone wishes to do. The hands are placed on the legs or knees and the body leans forward ready to spring up and close a deal, or any other action that is being presented. It can also be done by placing the hands on the chair, arm rest or hands on the knees. While standing, the ready position is taken up by placing the hands on the hips. The eyes can also play a role in ready language as they make frequent and repetitive ganders to where a person is thinking, or where they would like to be.

In a business meeting or on a sales call, the ready position indicates that it’s time to stop talking and time to start closing, and that any agreement related to the conversation previous is likely to be accepted. Leaning forward not only means readiness, it sometimes means general interest. For example, a conversation taking place between friends containing some juicy gossiping or with an enthralling storyline, will have each party up “at the edge of their seats” and engaged in the conversation seemingly hanging onto every word. Other times, leaning language means that someone is late and needs to leave, or is bored and ready to go. The opposite position, meaning backwards leaning shows the reverse. It shows a detachment from the topic or from the speaker but can also indicate a high degree of comfort or relaxation where someone wishes not to leave. To uncover the true meaning behind leaning it will be a matter of tracking down additional cues to produce a cluster, and then matching this cluster with the context. The torso, however, is a great place to look to uncover where someone wants to go; it usually points directly to it.

A final ready posture that tells us someone wants to leave happens by propping the body up and coiling the legs underneath in a seated position. Uncrossing the legs and getting them underneath the weight of the body, shows body language readers that someone is ready to pick themselves up. This type of body language is a “leading gesture” because it is a predictor of what is about to happen. The body can also be tensed up or fidget so as to ready itself even more, and be moving away from what would normally be perceived to be the centre of attention. When people want to leave, their body begins to lean toward the exit, but even if their torso’s don’t, their feet will betray them by being extended forward. Additional ready gestures include straightening clothing, arranging or organizing papers, grabbing bags and so forth. These last cues, like the others, indicate an effort to get things going.

The Male Crotch Display

by  • March 6, 2013 • 17 Comments

The western version of the crotch display. Imagine this fella totally nude! Perhaps not attractive to women, but his assertiveness might be.

The western version of the crotch display. Imagine this fella totally nude! Perhaps not attractive to women, but his assertiveness might be.

There are a few postures that men use to display their prowess, but the jury is out as to whether or not women find them attractive per se. One of these postures is the cowboy posture which happens by placing the thumbs in a belt loop and aiming the remaining fingers toward the genitals. Interested women do tend to look at the crotch of men of interest, but performing the display might not make a man appear more sexually attractive.

The crotch display in action.

The crotch display in action.

A second version of the crotch display is to keep the legs spread open where the hand may be found on the inside of the thigh in a “ready position” or propped up on a knee. These signals are less of a sexual invitation than they are signal of their dominance over others in the room, which in and of itself makes them appear more attractive to women. New Guinea natives use what is called the penis sheath, also called koteka, horim or penis gourd to emphasis and draw attention to their genitals. It is usually made from a dried gourd and tied with a small loop around the scrotum with a secondary loop tied around the chest or abdomen and is worn without clothing. The penis sheath is usually tied in an upward position but some tribes position them to point straight out, up or at an angle. The penis sheath is an excellent example of sexually selected behaviour that came about through culture and serves to illustrate the power behind the male crotch display. What is done by western cultures is not much different if modesty and the clothing is stripped aside, so to speak. Western men use slight of hand through pointing and leg spreading to draw eyes, whereas the penis sheath draws attention to male prowess through a much more obvious and grand scale.

Micheal Jackson had no shortage of female fans and perhaps this was due to his frequent crotch grabs, although I suspect it has more to do with his deep pockets (or maybe his signing talent?). Men also draw attention to their crotch in other ways such as with their hands by motioning or placing a hand on the inner thigh, or re-orienting so the crotch faces the women directly. Men use subtle preening gestures such as fixing hair, straightening a tie or collar, or removing lint, but these aren’t as common when compared to women as sexual signals. This runs us full circle to our original though and that is that men display attractiveness through status and dominant indicators rather than any physical cue or posture. As it where though, some of men’s body positions can reveal this very characteristic.

Tilting Far Back In A Chair

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

Titling in the chair is a casual and therefore dominant gesture and the further back one leans in the chair, the stronger the message of superiority. It comes has a similar root to the full body steeple as it creates distance from other’s showing detachment, and also a relaxed or informal attitude. When our boss’s perform this gesture, it can mean several things, he is indifferent to others and their ideas, he is simply adopting a relaxed position on the matter. Caution is order, as context and accompanying dialogue is necessary to verify exactly what this gesture means.

When children are seen doing this in response to being chastised for bad behaviour it is important to quickly correct it or the attitude can snowball. A simple way to fix it through nonverbal means is to encroach on their personal space or by taking a flank or a rear position. This will create uneasiness in them and force them to take a less relaxed authoritative body language stance and might even put them in a ready position with their hands on their knees in preparations to take action hopefully by resolving the issue or serving the punishment. When power plays are used by subordinate people, over time they gain authority, and the last thing you want to do is lose rank with your children as with it goes respect.

Breaking The Mold – How To ‘Close’ The ‘Closed’

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

Handing someone a drink, papers, anything, can be an excellent way to open someone up for a sale.

Handing someone a drink, papers, anything, can be an excellent way to open someone up for a sale.

The research shows us that a significant amount of information is inhibited from reaching the brain when our bodies show closed body language. In one such study, two groups of students attended the same lecture. One group was instructed to hold their arms and legs crossed throughout, while the other received no such instructions. The group instructed to hold closed body language was found to have retained forty percent less information than the group that held open body language. The lecturer was also rated far more critically. Therefore, when presenting to someone with their arms crossed it is vitally important to use tactics that help them open up and drop negative cues. Not only will the retention of your message increase significantly, but so too will the probability that any agreement will take place.

It’s nearly impossible to formulate agreements with others who have their arms crossed or a myriad of other closed body postures. By simply opening your objective, they will be more receptive to your thoughts and ideas. This is why is it important, as closed body language arises, to immediately re-calibrate your tactics. If your target’s legs cross, have them stand up and move to the same side of the table to get a closer look at the material, or have them reach forward for something, forcing them to take a ready position with their bodies leaning toward you. If their arms are crossed, have them jot down notes on a piece of paper which you can express as being important for later, or have them examine a document which you can hand to them. You will want to carefully monitor their post position to see if after the item is discarded they return to their original closed body position. If they are adamant in keeping closed, they probably aren’t receiving the message to your favour.

Other ways to open people include handing them a cup of coffee, or glass of water, show them photographs of family or pets, handing them model cars or any other office artifact you might have noticed them examining with some interest. Handing them any object forces them to uncross their arms to reach for it thereby opening them. The object used isn’t vitally important, it just needs to be interesting enough to motivate them to reach for it. By doing a bit of research beforehand, you can probably find a mutual interest that can be exploited during the pitch to build rapport. This will prove especially useful if the meeting takes a turn for the worst. Being creative to re-open the conversation is an important tactic for everyone in business.