Tag Archive for Nonverbal Language

How We Really Detect Lies

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It is traditionally assumed that deception detection occurs simultaneously to the telling of a lie. Meaning, as people speak, lie detectors were able to pick up on nonverbal and verbal cues to ‘read’ people. Most of the research to date suggests that we can’t use any body language cue, or collection of cues in a comprehensive manner to read liars, but this might just be a limitation or flaw in the design of the studies. In 2002 research by Hee Sun Park working out of the University of California in Santa Barbara it was found that success in real-world lie detection happens gradually, over time and not on one chance encounter. Her research found that the most often reported method of disseminating lies included third party information, confessions and physical evidence, none of which the studies thus far have provided. Therefore, with respect to how people really read lies, the scientific investigations to date, haven’t provided people with information necessary to accurately detect lies.

Reading lies in real life is an active comparison from information we know for certain, and information told to us. No doubt, nonverbal language can provide clues to us as a full package, but it doesn’t permit us to ascertain conclusive evidence. We should therefore use untrustworthy or nervous body language as motivation to spark further investigation.

So Which People Are Good At Detecting Lies?

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At this point in the chapter it might seem out of place to admit that some individuals can actually detect lies better than chance, but this is true, and has been backed up empirically through research. Studies have shown that while the rest of the world is limited to fifty percent, or the same accuracy as that which would occur by chance, the CIA (central intelligence agency) scores seventy-three percent, sheriffs sixty-seven percent, psychologist sixty-eight percent whereas the secret service scores sixty-four percent.

So why do the experts have an advantage over the layman? Well, part of the explanation lies in experience. The group of psychologist was chosen due to their special interest in lying and lie detection, not to mention their willingness to participate in a two day seminar covering various topics related to lying and lie detection. Each group including the psychologists, the CIA, and the secret service all have an interest in lie detection coupled with the training to back it up. Experts are drawing on information from many facets about a person, including their paraverbal and nonverbal language as well as other cues as we have covered which is unlike regular lay-people who have little if any experience in analyzing people, let alone the ability to repeatedly test their skills. Because lie detection and reading people is a huge part of their occupations, they get a lot of practice and feedback.

Personality characteristics might also play into the ability to detect lies. For example, empathy, sensitivity to social cues, and conscientiousness can all help in reading people more accurate because it allows a person to put themselves in someone else’s shoes. Experts are also more aware of the truth bias, which we covered earlier, and so can properly adjust for this phenomenon. It is important to conclude on these matters that the accuracy, while impressive in relation to ordinary people, is still far from perfect. While the experts are far from perfect, they do give us some hope that lie detection is more than a chance operation. No doubt, by reading this chapter alone, you will be able to make huge strides in reading others, perhaps not pegging every liar dead on the spot, but the cues in this chapter will help you at least identified those who are worthy of a second look.

Above: Paul Ekman talks about microexpressions.

Lying In Children

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Unfortunately, you probably thought that I would be describing how easy it is to spot lies told by children, but the common theme in this chapter is held consistent. Being able to ‘look through our children’ is a common sentiment. We do think that children are bad liars overall, but studies show that children are nearly as, if not just as efficient at lying as adults. A 2007 study by Leif Strömwall, Pär Granhag and Sara Landström of Göteborg University in Sweden found that overall detection of lies in children was only around fifty-two percent, or not much better than chance. Adult raters were only slightly more effective at detecting children’s lies when the children were not allowed time to prepare their fibs. In this case they were only fifty-six percent accurate. The children relied on their own real life experiences and those of others they knew to fabricate believable stories, whereas their nonverbal strategy was to ‘stay calm’. Other research tells us that children as young as four are able to construct and build lies, but that older children are more skilled than younger children and are therefore caught even less. Another study showed that by age twelve, children have reached adult success levels. Further to this, there is no ‘expert advantage’ mean that when college students were compared to teachers and social workers, no difference was found, they all performed poorly as lie detectors.

Now let’s all breath deeply here! Children have a natural knack for telling lies, but so too does the rest of the world it seems. To catch our children’s lies it’s best to watch for their verbal inconsistencies rather than their nonverbal language. In fact, that is exactly what we do. Paying particular attention to the consistencies in the verbal dialogue is reported by several studies as successful where adults are trying to catch children in lies. To illustrate this point I draw on a 2002 study by Victoria Talwar and Kang Lee of Queen’s University in Kingston Ontario, Canada. In the study they had children hold a stuffed Barney toy behind their backs. As the experimenter left the room, they asked for them not to peek. Almost no one could resist the temptation. Raters who had no chance to interview or listen to children speak, but had to rely on body language alone, showed similar difficulty as other studies when trying to pick which of the children where lying. However, when outright asked if they peeked seventy-five percent lied and only twenty-five percent admitted to peeking, but when asked to guess what toy they held, almost half of the six and seven-year-olds said “Barney” admitting they had looked, whereas ninety percent of the three, four and five-year olds admitted the same. The study demonstrates that young liars are easily read by verbal leakage. Only some of the students where able to come up with alternative answers, or report that they didn’t know.

Another factor we look for in liars, is “richness of detail”’, meaning the level of information in a story. It is this richness that we assume means that someone has actually experienced the event, rather than constructed it. Children have limited life experience and it is difficult for them to create details outside of their personal lives. Then again, young children often give short responses to questions anyway and offer up little detail, even when prompted. Children have also been found to appear more nervous and seem to think harder when lying, the problem of course is that they hold these traits while telling the truth as well. Telling the truth is hard for both adults and children. Reality is as difficult to recall as is creating lies.

Adults, parents in particular who spend a great deal of time with their children, can usually pick out lies easier, because they’ve been with them to measure their experiences more so than the cues they give up through their body language. However this falls much shorter than lie detection, it’s merely an examination of the facts or at its most generous, a probability assessment. Parents most often rely on baseline comparisons in their children and while this is helpful, detecting lies in strangers or in other people’s children would be more useful. Teachers whom are faced with stories about summer vacations or their extravagance might hold doubts, but until they can confirm these doubts with facts, photographs or even parent’s confirmation, they simply remain doubts. Information presented outside the realm of the children’s possible experiences can be used to reasonably detect lies, but with widespread media and internet, story creation by children is made much easier. However, as the research shows repeatedly, we should not expect to be able to detect lies through body language alone, even in children.

Introduction – Chapter 14

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We don’t all work in office situations, but it won’t make this chapter any less valuable to those who don’t. Throughout life we all find ourselves in business situations even if they don’t appear to be so because money or capital is such a pervasive component of our global marketplace. This chapter is all about setting up and also reading the nonverbal language of business, from selling, to buying and what’s sandwiched in the middle, negotiation! We will look at how to sell to different people without becoming their friends as well as the level of service they would prefer, how best to interact with people when standing, and through my handshake experiment we shall see the types of bad handshakes you will, or have already experienced, and as well as how to gain the upper hand. Specific handshake advice is provided to women and those with small hands so their hands aren’t totally engulfed!

There are also office tips specifically directed toward women such as why women would be better served if they played down their sexiness but still showed curves, how they can use their heels to apply “pressure” to their colleagues, and how they can “power sit” for best results. We will also find out how people that are prepared for action appear like sprinters in the starting blocks, how the “top dogs” or natural leaders actually start off that way since they already have dominant body language patterns and receive promotions for these characteristics rather than something more deserved like actual talent. We then cover how to please your boss despite his disposition before delving into interview body language and outline what homework needs to be done before arriving, how to enter the interview area, what gestures are appropriate, as well as which clothing should be removed before the interview to show belonging. We conclude our chapter on office body language with a summary of buying indicators.

How Women Can Avoid Solicitation By Men

by  • March 6, 2013 • 1 Comment

She's just not that into you.

She’s just not that into you.

The chapter has a heavy focus on ways that women attract sexual attention, but there were a few hints dropper here and there with regards to ways women can avoid attention. The problem as women might view it is that most of the tactics involved dropping cues, or ‘inaction’ rather than actionable body language. Because there are times when women require the opposite result, I have devoted this section to ways women can actively send rejection signals. It is far easier and less embarrassing to use nonverbal language to send negative signals and they can be implemented earlier to reduce escalation before it’s too late. Women far too often make the mistake of placating others to their own detriment. When men are bored, they feel no pain, no discomfort, no desire to offer anything other than a barren despondent look on their face. It might surprise you to hear me say to this, congratulations! Men who show their true emotions have mastered, all-be-it passively, the use of effective body language and use it to convey their boredom to others. When men are bored, they say “shape up or ship out”, women should heed this and follow. So women, please pay careful attention to the tips that follow to avoid unwanted approaches.

My conclusions are drawn in large part from the research of Dr. Monica Moore in 1998 who looked at rejection patterns in women. She found seventeen main behaviours in her study that indicated rejection of potential male partners. They included facial expressions such as yawning, frowning, sneering, gaze avoidance, upward gaze, hair gaze (looking at one’s own hair), looking away, and staring, as well as gestures such as negative head shaking, nail cleaning, teeth picking or pocketing hands, and finally, posture patterns such as arm crossing, holding the trunk rigidly, closed legs, body contact avoidance or pulling away. Here they are by category in a bit more detail.

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Avoiding eye contact shows men that we're not interested in interacting.

Avoiding eye contact shows men that we’re not interested in interacting.

Gaze avoidance happens when the woman refused to make eye contact with the man, despite him looking directly at her. She will look at other people, make eye contact with someone else, or pretend to be taken by something else in the room. This can and in fact, should be done while a man is currently speaking. Buck up women, grow some and spell it out! Look at it this way, you’re saving him time by being direct and upfront and in the long run, he might even thank you if it gives him the time to pursue someone else. To display disinterest a women can also look upward by raising the chin only a quarter inch or look at the ends of her hair which is a strong signal of boredom and detachment. Any behaviours should include prolonged inattention, lasting at least ten seconds, but more is always better! Staring is also used, in this case staring lasts multiple seconds or until the man looks away, but when he does, don’t look him over, start a conversation with someone else or leave altogether without saying anything. If none of these messages seem to be working, add frowns or sneers to your repertoire. The sneer happens with furrowed brows and the mouth is compressed and turned downward. The sneer happens when the mouth is twisted and the nose wrinkled. Next you can use head shaking and yawning which shows negative thoughts rather than using more affirmative head movements such as nods.

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Turning the body away and taking a step amplifies disinterest.

Turning the body away and taking a step amplifies disinterest.

Gestures are nonverbal rejection patterns that involved movement of the hands and arms. Interested women perform palm displays, however, disinterested women will pocket their hands instead, or cross their arms over their chest. To further disinterest, an increase in distance would occur by taking steps backwards or using barriers to reduce closeness. Self grooming can also be used to show disinterest, but not in a flirtatious way. Instead picking the nails, or teeth is used to turn men off and efficiently display disinterest.

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Crossing the arms denies a man exposure to your torso - an unwelcome signal.

Crossing the arms denies a man exposure to your torso – an unwelcome signal.

Posture patterns involve movement and positioning of the body. These are tied to closed body positions and include such items as tightly crossing the legs, legs crossed at the ankles or hidden under a chair. Other postures include a rigid upright torso and positions that avoided body contact and if contact was initiated the women would pull away. Leaning back and turning the back to the man is also effective.

 

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Whatever cues you plan on using, be sure of your intent before emitting them. If you are serious about rejecting someone it is important that you be deliberate, predictable and consistent. If you flip-flop from positive to negative cues, he’ll just think that you are “moody” which will create a situation that makes negative cues less effective in the future. It will also prolong pursuit because the positive cues mixed into the interaction will provide him incentives to continue. Finally, be prepared to be called bad names like “grumpy” and of course “bitch.” It is unfortunate for women that they aren’t given the same latitude as men in terms of their ability to display negative emotions in an outward fashion, but this is the world we live in and no amount of complaining will change it. The research tells us that women are expected to smile even if unhappy, and be chipper when depressed, but when it comes to rejecting someone, it’s best done quickly and without remorse. Afterall, when it comes to rejection, do you really care what their opinion is of you?

If this sort of tactic makes you uncomfortable, you are welcome to use an integrity based, verbal rejection. “Sorry, I’m not interested” will work just fine in most cases. Whatever method you choose, it will be you that has to live by it.

It’s A Women’s Job To Attract Attention

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Men prefer a direct approach - study the signals, put them out there and men will respond. Simple.

Men prefer a direct approach – study the signals, put them out there and men will respond. Simple.

Researcher in 1989 by Dr. Monica Moore of the University of Missouri in St Louis conducted a study of how women interacted in public. They specifically examined nonverbal language as it pertained to attracting attention from men. In the study, they followed eighteen to thirty-five year old women in singles bars. In all, she monitored her subjects for fifty-two different kinds of gestures and behaviours so she could relate them back to their effects on others. Some of the cues included, smiling, touching, pouting, skirt hiking, leaning toward males, brushing up against a man with her breasts or body, tossing her hair, gazing such as lowering eyelids, raising and widening eyes, throwing quick glances, flipping or tossing the hair or giggling.

Two interesting results stemmed from the research. One, the flirting was location specific. Most of the flirting happened in singles bars and was virtually non-existent in other locations. The second major finding was that women who signaled most often, where also most often approached by men. However, men that sent out signals in this way, fail miserably at receiving attention from women. In another study, researchers found that up to seventy percent of all courtship is initiated by women and ninety percent of the time, trained observers were able to accurately predict the outcome of interactions that stemmed from overt female behaviour. In this study, observes looked for cues such as upward palm gestures, primping, caressing one’s body with the hand, requesting aid, crossing and uncrossing legs, and exhibiting solitary dance movements. If you think attractiveness of subjects had anything to do with approach, think again. In fact, it’s the frequencies with which these behaviours occurred which had the greatest affect on drawing men in to approach. Attraction is in the eye of the behaviour. More attractive females showing few signals, attract less attention. If it’s your goal to reduce attention, eliminate positive body language. It’s not much more complicated than this.

'Accidental touching' is a subtle and low risk way women can initiate courtship.

‘Accidental touching’ is a subtle and low risk way women can initiate courtship.

Attractiveness plays little or no beneficial part in solicitation, as mentioned above. It has been said that men approach women who are near average or slightly above average most frequently and mathematically this should be obvious. Most men are average looking and it is them who are seeking out average women. Men might gawk at particularly hot women, but they rarely build up the courage to cross their “league” for fear of being rejected (or wasting their time). While average men could approach and possibly succeed in lower leagues, they’d be faced with having to lower their standards. As sad as it is, men and women seek to best maximize the attractiveness of their partners, and in most cases it involves dating someone of similar attractiveness.

Researcher Adam Kendon filmed a kissing couple in 1975 and found that it was the woman’s behaviour, particularly her facial expressions, that regulated and modulated the behaviour of her partner. Other research shows that women also modulate stages of intimacy through their nonverbal body language by allowing or disallowing the breach of stages. Women also tend to control the initiation of conversations between strangers too. For example, when no eye contact is made by the women, others don’t approach or start conversations. So in summary, there really is no excuse, it’s the women’s job to solicit, or reject, as the case may be making it vitally important for both women and men to recognize the signals of sexual solicitation. Next, we do just this!

The Chameleon Effect (Mimicry)

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It's like looking into the mirror.

It’s like looking into the mirror – and we see ourselves.  This eases our tension.

A term first coined by Chartrand and Bargh in 1999, the “chameleon effect” refers to the unconscious mimicry of postures, mannerisms, facial expressions, and other behaviours such that one partner in an interaction passively and unintentionally changes his body positions to match that of others. He further describes that this changes are context specific and person specific. There are some key points in this idea. First is that the mirroring happens without conscious awareness, which will become important later as we explore the applications of mirroring. Second, a persons perception of another’s behaviour works to increase the likelihood of it appearing in others.

In other studies it was observed that nonverbal mirroring increased over time within a group of people. Rapport, liking, empathy and group building also increases over time. When students were asked to mirror the nonverbal language of their instructor they reported a stronger sense of involvement with them. It has even been reported that the absence of mirroring can even produce differences amongst people instead of just inhibiting cohesion.

Signs Of Aggression

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She's displeased and thinks you should know better.

She’s displeased and thinks you should know better.

We’ve seen the hands-on-hips posture before but it resurfaces again in the aggression classification because it is ready posture. In this case, the hands on hips, feet together at attention is accompanied by leaning forward with the head and chin up, or out, and exposed. The hands-on-hips puffs the person out making them seem larger and the feet spread at shoulder width increases stability putting them in a fighting stance. Observations have shown us that ignoring the puffed out chest is to be done at one’s own peril as it is a very strong indicator that a person is about to strike out in aggression. The classic ‘in-your-face’ type of posture indicates readiness for fight and isn’t to be confused with a business ready posture. The accompanying clues which are discussed next, shows an intent to fight, but also tension so there is overlap in fighting nonverbal language and that which stems from other negative emotions such as displeasure, fear, anger, antipathy and disgust. Therefore it is the context, once again, that will tell us the root source of the body language, be it fight or flight.

As aggression nears, our blood “boils” and rushes to the surface of the body making our faces and ears turn red with anger. While blood doesn’t actually boil there is some truth to it. As our nervous system is shifted in the “fight or flight” response our blood pressure increases through a faster heart rate preparing us for action. Since our faces have a high concentration of capillaries and vessels, and the vessels, especially in the cheeks are much wider in diameter than other areas of the body, coupled with the thin skin in the face, permit the redness of the blood to show through in the characteristic “flushing.” This anger reaction shouldn’t be confused with feeling embarrassed or the blushing we see through exercise. The accompanying cues in cluster will tell us which emotional response we are seeing.

Fists clenching is an early sign of aggression. It shows that the body is ready to fight - even if not literally by punching someone.

Fists clenching is an early sign of aggression. It shows that the body is ready to fight – even if not literally by punching someone.

During aggression we might see the arms show defensive postures by becoming crossed showing a negative emotion, or dropped to the side and clenching. Fists clenching is an important cue to aggression since it indicates the underlying thought process that one is nearing physical action. Other cues in the cluster include finger pointing, overall tensing of the body or extreme body loosening to ready for fighting, tightening of the jaw and lips (called “lip occlusion”), quivering in the lips, frowning, furrowing, or lowering the eyebrows, dilated pupils, squinting of the eyes, crotch displays such as legs open, sneering or flared nostrils.

The technical term for flared nostrils as mentioned before is “nasal wing dilation” and is of particular in the fight and flight response because it tells us that someone is actively oxygenating their bodies in preparation to do something important. Our bodies consume oxygen during work, and we can get our bodies ready by loading up hemoglobin which is the carrier of the oxygen molecule, just in case it’s needed for a condense bout of work. As people get ready to fight their chests can be seen rapidly expanding and contracting as if panting. The body is essentially saying “We’ve probably got a problem on our hands, time to load up on oxygen as we might need to fight or take flight!” Sometimes though, nasal wing dilation is in response to doing anything physical at all, be it to move a heavy sofa or taking to a flight of stairs. Other times, nostrils flare when aroused by a potential mate who is seeking to take up an alluring scent laced with sexual pheromones. However, as mentioned this cue can be very important in certain context as it may provide clues to potentially aggression. School aged children should learn this nonverbal cue early on so as to diffuse aggression by bullies.

Nose flaring signals displeasure and negative thoughts.

Nose flaring or “nasal wing dilation” signals displeasure and negative thoughts. Noses flare because extra oxygen is being consumed to prepare for battle.

It might be counter-intuitive to think that opening the body up and keeping it loose, is a sign of aggression, since it exposing the body to attack, but in this cue cluster, the posture challenges others to attack. The limbs can seem to dangle from the body and the upper torso might begin to sway back and forth, or bob, similar to what a boxer does seeking an angle to attack. Only in this case, it happens much more discretely such that a surprise attack might be possible.

Conversely, the arms and body can become stiff and rigid as they prepare to defend whereas others will visibly start shaking. As a last resort, aggressive individuals may begin expressing the same thoughts over and over again to assert their position in effort to have their opponent back down. Under more extreme cases, people fall back into more primitive displays of aggression such as banging fists against a table, slamming doors, and even throwing objects. Figuratively, the message being advertised is that the table, the door being slammed, or the chair being thrown, will soon be you!

As the person nears aggression they will begin to invade your personal space, sometimes even ‘head-to-head’ and issue verbal challenges and might burst into nervous laughter even though nothing funny has been said. The solution to aggression is to always back away and give the person as much space as possible while showing defensive postures. Nearly all individuals will cease aggressive behaviour given the proper cues and switches, while other times, the only avoidance to physical combat is the flight response. In other words, run!

Summary – Chapter 3

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

In this third chapter we examined and compared the various influences on body language: genetic, learned and cultural. We found that in terms of genetics we all show similar roots and so display similarly across cultures, but that learning does play a role in how we might signal. We also covered emblems, illustrators, affect displays, adaptors and regulators which all form a part of what is called kinesics or how nonverbal behaviour relates to movement. Emblems, we found, are quotable gestures that are culturally specific which can be used as replacement for words and have a direct verbal translation. Illustrators are a second type of gesture that we use while speaking to help us paint a more descriptive picture such as talking about a boxing match and using a punching motion. Affect displays is nonverbal language that reveal our emotional state such as smiling or frowning and adaptors are movements or gestures that are used to manage our feelings or control our responses such as postural changes. Sometimes these adaptors have hidden meaning, but other times they do not, so caution is warranted. Regulators on the other hand control turn taking and flow when people speak with one another. Finally we covered high and low context cultures as it relates to touching and the ways various cultures meet and greet one another.

Culturally Our Bodies Are All Basically The Same!

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Sadness.

Sadness.

Happiness.

Happiness.

Disgust.

Disgust.

A universal facial expression - Anger.

A universal facial expression – Anger.

Most researchers agree that the following six emotions are recognized by all cultures: happiness or enjoyment, distress or sadness, anger, disgust, surprise and fear. However, positions the body takes on to demonstrate these emotions vary across cultures. Since every person on the planet regardless of race or creed has the same underlying emotions and our body language is tied to our feelings, it follows that every person’s nonverbal language has similar roots, but like verbal language we don’t express ourselves exactly the same. Paul Ekman from the University of California has done extensive research into facial emotion recognition and has found just that, everyone across the planet is almost the same.

Happiness, sadness, and disgust had the best agreement between cultures, whereas fear and surprise tended to be confused, especially by the Japanese. Another rural population, the Dani people of West Iran, who are generally isolated from the rest of the world, showed a similar confusion between fear and surprise. Surprise is read as a straight upward lift of the forehead whereas fear engages the muscles between the brows folding them. The French call the area between the brows, the “grief muscle” and is active to express both pain, as well as when you wish to inflict it. The fearful face carries a momentary raise in the upper eyelids and a grimace comes across the mouth. Anger appears with a lowering of the eyebrows, flaring of the eyes and a tightening of the mouth or jaw. Fear, grief and surprise in addition to other facial expressions can quickly flash across the face in the form of micro expressions. Being aware of them can rouse opponents and in poker indicate ‘tells.’ As people check their hidden cards, be sure to watch for split second reactions.

Members of the Fore linguistic-cultural group of the South East Highlands of New Guinea whom had never seen movies, who did not speak English and had never worked with a Caucasians before were also able to read facial expressions accurately. Studies show that even blind children score similarly to sighted children in terms of facial expressions. Further research by Paul Ekman showed that a contempt expression was also none culturally specific and was recognized by Estonians, Germans, Greeks, Hongkongese, Italians, Japanese, Scotts, Turks, Americans and West Sumatrans. Ekman traveled to a remote population in the mountains of Papua New Guinea where there is no television, DVDs or movies yet found that facial expressions remain universally understood. Once there he filmed the expressions of the population and found that upon his return were also understood by Westerners.

With very little exception, facial expressions are universally recognized. What does differ from culture to culture is our surroundings; our habitat and traditions. Greater differences therefore lie in our territoriality, level of eye contact, and touching norms. These factors tie back into the density in which we reside, and also into our comfort tolerances and preferences due to our upbringing. Gestures are mostly learned and passed from one person to another and are thus not universal across cultures. Gestures are more similar to verbal language. Because language and gestures are transferred over time they also evolve.