Tag Archive for Nonverbal Behaviour

The Forehead Bow, Smiling And Childlike Playfulness

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

This interest posture is hard to miss.

This interest posture is hard to miss.

The forehead bow is a posture done by artificially lowering the head, then looking up at a man from under the eyebrows in a “come hither” fashion. It has roots in the full bow done as a greeting gesture since it exposes the top of the head making it vulnerable to attack. Just like neck and wrist displays, it indicates that trust is present within courtship. It also comes off as a childlike gesture primarily because children are shorter than adults and habitually peer up at them. As we age, we recall these gestures and go back to them when wish to revive juvenile submissive feelings. The opposite to the forehead bow happens by tilting the head back and looking down one’s nose at someone, which is a judgment posture and is seen negatively.

Smiling frequently can sometimes be sexual, but accompanying signals must be cataloged to create certainty. Women will smile for a great variety of reasons and will smile regularly to appease men for no other reason besides habit. Smiling is a natural part of being a woman and while smiling alone is submissive, it doesn’t necessarily indicate sexual interest. Accompanying signals must adjoin smiling for it to be a true sexual signal. If smiling is done over a shoulder, with pouting lips and partly closed eyes, as in the sideways glance, it should be taken as a sexual cue, but absent, should be construed only as a regular appeasement gesture and nothing more.

Tickling and other play related actions habitually show up during courtship.

Tickling and other play related actions habitually show up during courtship.

The final most common type of submissive signal is childlike playfulness which isn’t a type of posture at all, but it is a form of nonverbal behaviour so it is included here. Stealing a hat, playful teasing, tickling, playing hide and seek or peek-a-boo around objects are forms of play and submission. Acting like a child shows that a person is ready to let their guard down and feel that no threat is present. Threat is a recurring theme as it relates to courtship because a big part of submission is trusting that a man will not abuse the power he is potentially about to be given by a woman. Women begin by providing submission is small doses to see exactly how it is handled. Should she trust him at great lengths without prior history, she will have set herself up for hurt or worse, either emotionally or physically. The act of sex is a risky undertaking for both sexes, but particularly for women, and while we have many ways to reduce the risks in our current society, we still hold the evolutionary hardwiring to fear all possible repercussions.

Above: The “forehead bow” or looking up through the forehead is a childhood throwback where little children would look up at their parents from beneath them. It is a submissive posture that is meant to arouse a caring and kind man, but more importantly, it serves to induce protective feelings from men. The childlike playfulness of the image it portrays is meant to create warm and fussy feelings in men so they are more willing to take care of women. Many more tips and information in the Ebook Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language.

Summary – Chapter 3

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

In this third chapter we examined and compared the various influences on body language: genetic, learned and cultural. We found that in terms of genetics we all show similar roots and so display similarly across cultures, but that learning does play a role in how we might signal. We also covered emblems, illustrators, affect displays, adaptors and regulators which all form a part of what is called kinesics or how nonverbal behaviour relates to movement. Emblems, we found, are quotable gestures that are culturally specific which can be used as replacement for words and have a direct verbal translation. Illustrators are a second type of gesture that we use while speaking to help us paint a more descriptive picture such as talking about a boxing match and using a punching motion. Affect displays is nonverbal language that reveal our emotional state such as smiling or frowning and adaptors are movements or gestures that are used to manage our feelings or control our responses such as postural changes. Sometimes these adaptors have hidden meaning, but other times they do not, so caution is warranted. Regulators on the other hand control turn taking and flow when people speak with one another. Finally we covered high and low context cultures as it relates to touching and the ways various cultures meet and greet one another.

Baselining

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

Does he always sit on his hands or is he hiding something?

Does he always sit on his hands or is he hiding something?

Baselining is probably one of the most important and often overlooked aspects of reading body language. It refers to the “normal” motions that populate the repertoire of each and every person on the planet. Normal here is the operative word. We can’t even begin to read someone until we first have their baseline pegged. For example, to read someone that is normally flighty and constantly moving, as agitated is wrong since they are merely acting out their particular “idiosyncratic nonverbal behaviour.” That is, the body language that is particular to specific people and that makes up their repertoire, or basket of cues considered normal for them. This person might be flighty or high strung by nature but they certainly can’t be constantly agitated by nature as our nervous systems can’t tolerate perpetual stress. A person high strung by nature who seemingly freezes instantly is telling us based on their baseline that something is up. Baselining tells us that a condition in their environment has changed and it has affected them. It now becomes our job to detect the cause for the change.

Baselining involves learning about how a person usually sits, how they use their hands to gesture, where they place their hands while at rest and relaxed or when nervous, how they place their feet when standing, their overall posture, how they prefer to cross their legs such as whether they cross them equally left over right as right over left, and so on. The list to baselining is utterly endless as are the myriad of cues that can be emitted from the human body, fraught with or, absent of, meaning.

By establishing a baseline it will be possible to catch sudden changes in body language. This is the ultimate purpose to establishing a person’s baseline. Without catching the changes, body language loses its ability to indicate exactly what is going on. For example, a younger brother that is acting exuberant and ecstatic who is jumping around with joy and happiness, who, at a moments notice, finds himself in the presence of an older brother only to suddenly cease his joyful movements, turtles his head into his shoulders, and becomes quiet, says a lot about what kind of relationship they have been having lately. Body language is directly linked to emotions, and so when it changes, we know that something has cause the change, and more often than not, it will be precisely the event that preceded it.

These changes aren’t just limited to events either, they can also be tied to words spoken, or even topics. A married couple might be carrying on amicably, but when there is mention of an ex-girlfriend, even casually, the wife might begin to display dominant and closed body language such as crossing arms, wagging fingers, or scolding eyes. She is indicating that this women or topic is a particular sore spot between them and the sudden change in mood, from good to bad, tells us that it is the topic that is the issue. Criminal investigators will frequently steer suspects off-topic (and seemingly off the record) by talking about favourite pass-times or hobbies by example. This serves the investigator by producing relaxed body language. Once a baseline is established interrogators begin to introduce facts surrounding the investigation to measure their effects. They might begin with items not even connected to the trial and then suddenly introduce a murder weapon, for example, to see if nervous body language appears. During criminal investigations the murder weapon can be kept a secret from the public especially early on, so only the real criminal would exhibit a visceral response to viewing it. While these sorts of interrogations won’t directly lead to a conviction, it does provide clues for further exploration. Like all body language, clues tell us if we are on the right track or if we’ve eliminated leads, at least for the time being.

Those who don’t know about baselining will find it difficult to read other people who lack similar affect to themselves since their only reference of normal is what they do or what the average person they associate with do (which more often then not is very similar to themselves anyway since we tend to hang out with those of like mind). People that don’t baseline won’t see people for their individual characteristics, idiosyncrasies, culture and habits. As we work through life we should have our family, friends, coworkers, bosses, instructors, or anyone else we interact with regularly pegged for their baseline. This will not only make reading them easier, it will also give us “archetypes” that can be cross referenced as comparisons. This in turn, gives us a better chance at evaluating others, even strangers, on the spot, and in real time.

How The Lymbic System Affects Body Language

by  • March 5, 2013 • 1 Comment

The limbic system is a set of brain centers including the amygdale, hippocampus, anterior thalamic nuclei, and limbic cortex. These structures in collection handle emotion, behavior, long term memory and olfaction or the sense of smell. In 1952 researcher Paul MacLean started using terms to divide the brain by function and what he thought was their origin. He called collections of the brain the “reptilian brain” which included the base of the brain and brain stem, the “mammalian brain” or the limbic brain and the “neocortex” or human brain. Scientists have proposed that the brain has evolved from a primitive reptilian brain to the more complex neocortex. By examining images of the brain, it become apparent to scientists that the brain has “stacked” specialized structure upon specialized structure in what seems like a progress through time. Think of how rocks form through sedimentation over time, and you have a rough idea of how brains have evolved. By moving inwards from the outer layers of the brain to the center it has been theorizes that one is moving back in time to the original “primitive” brain. This is why the center brain is called the reptilian (original, less complex) brain whereas the neocortex (“neo” meaning new, more complex) which the mammalian brain, is located on the outside.

As it applies to nonverbal behaviour, it is the limbic brain that is responsible because it reacts naturally to the world around us, and the stimulus it contains. Behaviours produced by the limbic brain, over say behaviours that are controlled by the neocortex, are a true honest response. In other words, the limbic brain controls emotional body language so it’s our best gauge to indicate what the body is really feeling. It is the limbic brain that controls the arms, feet, hands, heads, and torsos when someone is feeling embarrassed or ashamed, sad, fearful, excited or happy. The limbic brain is hardwired into our nervous system and goes back in time with us through our evolution.

While our neocortex can at times suppress the limbic brain, it can only do so when it is no occupied doing other things. The neocortex is in charge of doing complex conscious tasks (like calculus, engineering, and so forth), so when it is overwhelmed or turned off entirely, the body accidentally leaks emotional body language for others to read. The neocortex, because it is under conscious control, is the least reliable and least honest part of the brain. Research shows that the neocortex is the most active part of the brain during deception which is why it has been called the “lying brain.” Cheats might be able to control the words they use to describe their thoughts, but they can’t control their visceral reactions to these words, nor can they control their expressions stemming from this motivation. This is exactly how and why we can catch liars, read fear, stress, sadness, anger and so on.

Turtling is a limbic response to confrontation. The head sinks, shoulders shrug, and the body takes on a smaller form to avoid being seen as a threat.

Turtling is a limbic response to confrontation. The head sinks, shoulders shrug, and the body takes on a smaller form to avoid being seen as a threat.

When you think of the limbic brain imagine the autonomic response that happens when we are startled by a loud bang. Naturally our bodies tense up, our heads duck into our torsos and our hands are pulled inward while our nervous system puts our heart into high gear through a dose of adrenaline. It is the same part of the brain that makes the feet fidget or hands shake when excited, or makes our hands sweat when under pressure. Our limbic brain also goes into hyper-drive when we see a distant relative after years apart, or when someone wins the lottery or gets a strong hand in poker. No matter what we do, we can’t stop this from happening. I will add too, that with some practice we can learn to hide, or minimize even these reptilian behaviours such as clasping the hands together to reduce shaking when excited, or tucking the legs in behind a chair to lock them in place when someone really wants to flee. However, even this body language shows the neocortex trying to override the reptilian brain and in so doing producing yet another stream of body language for us to read. At the scene of an accident we fully expect to see the limbic system take over producing trembling, nervousness, and discomfort. What would First Responders be left thinking if they showed up at an “accident” where the caller was relaxed and calm, yet the victim lay strewn about, dying and bloodied? Naturally, the police would think something was amiss and would pull the witness aside as a prime suspect for a crime. Therefore, we should always look for limbic responses and tie them to context so we know when something is not right. When limbic responses stop, we know that the stimulus for their creation has also stopped, so we must then find out the reason.

The limbic brain is the part of the brain that controls our root processes. To put this into perspective, imagine the activities in the repertoire of a lizard. Being cold blooded, he seeks sun when possible to speed up his metabolism, eats when hungry, drinks when thirsty, either freezes, flees, or fights when scared, and has sex when horny. He does not do calculus or engineer tall skyscrapers because he does not have the capacity, but this notwithstanding; he survives, because his limbic mind tells him everything necessary to do so. In evolutionary terms, so too does our limbic mind. It tells us when to be scared and what to do about it, be it freeze and reduce movement so as to get under the radar of assailants, to run and so get our feet pointed in the right direction, to get our hearts pumping to run and so on. It also controls root emotions – it tells our feet to move and jump with joy, and fidget in preparation to leave when bored.

Above: Technical view of the lymbic system.