Tag Archive for Milliseconds

The Unblinking Eyes

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

Scary!

Scary!

Research shows us that a steady stare of more than ten seconds creates anxiety and discomfort especially in subordinates. When done on more dominant individuals it can lead to feelings of aggression and in extreme cases, even physical altercations.

Holding eye contact for slightly longer than normal can send a powerful message. When looking at strangers, it’s a common courtesy to look away when the eyes meet, at least after a few milliseconds have elapsed. Staring is only permitted while looking at inanimate objects (and celebrities). By holding an extended or even unblinking gaze toward strangers, we are telling them that we think of them no more important than objects, a phenomenon celebrities know only too well. Naturally, eye contact and staring means one thing to men, and something else entirely to women. When the sexes stare at each other, it’s usually due to competitiveness or envy, as in, sizing up the competition and other times out of pure curiousity. When the sexes stare at each other, it’s usually driven by sexual interest, however, women are far less prone to staring in any case.

We covered proper eye gaze patterns in an earlier chapter and saw that the intimate gaze happens when the eyes travel around the face and body of someone we care about. Staring, on the other hand, is unmoving. The eyes are piercing and intense, unblinking, and seem to want to penetrate the eyes of another. An aggressive stare is even more intense and happens by narrowing the eyelids creating a deep focus. Second to the unblinking eyes is the “slow blink”. This one can be imagined, but must really be seen to understand its true intensity. While a slow blink done with a tilt of the head can appear alluring when done by an attractive woman, it does nothing to arouse positive emotions when done head on. The slow blink is intensified by tilted the head forward revealing the crown, and especially intense when the head is tilted backwards while looking down at an opponent “through” the bridge of the nose. The final cue in the slow blink cue cluster is pursed lips and the cue cluster, as a whole, signals disapproval and contempt.

You’ve probably never made conscious the universal “stare test” but it goes something like this. First you use proper eye language cast around a busy room, perhaps a grocery store, horizontally focusing on whatever is of interest. By accident, you make eye contact with someone and to show that you are no threat, you quickly shift your eyes to the left or right and continue a normal eye pattern. If no “eye flash” happens, as we saw earlier, we understand them to be a stranger. To make sure you haven’t been targeted by eye assault, you return your gaze after a few moments to see if that person is still fixated on you. If they are, you drop eye contact again, but then quickly look back. If eye contact is met again, this will set you on alert, and so you begin a very minor fight or flight response by keeping your distance. At a subconscious level you have identified a possibly dangerous individual.

This isn't going well - she looks right through him.

This isn’t going well – she looks right through him.

We call the appropriate eye contact that doesn’t violate someone’s privacy the “moral looking time.” This is the length of time gaze is permitted before creating anxiety through offensiveness and in strangers is usually only one or two seconds. To be sure that you aren’t still being assaulted by someone else you will usually repeatedly look in the direction of the person who caught your eyes several times, and at random intervals. This is because we all subconsciously realize that the other person is measuring the same threat in us, as we are in them. If their eyes are continuously met with yours, you will show aggressive or “rude” facial expressions as a warning to cease eye contact. Women do this type of expression best and we call them “dirty looks.” They are meant to indicate a desire to be left alone, and that conversation and approaching is not welcome. Other times, women will know that staring is taking place but will purposely avoid eye contact. Just because a dirty look hasn’t been given, does not mean she hasn’t noticed, and does not mean that staring is welcomed. When eye contact is avoided, and gaze pattern rules aren’t properly engaged, the intent of this message is the same, give women space and don’t stare!

Origins Of Laughs And Why Laughing Is Addictive

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

Some researchers conclude that laughs are a modification of the fear response which they theorize grew out of an historical warning that danger was near. By this theory, the laugh occurs because our brains are scared or frightened into laughing. This helps to explain why we often come to tears when laughing for prolonged periods, why we sometimes laugh when scared, or when we deal with horrific events such as a death by suddenly laughing, instead of a seemingly more appropriate response.

Strangely as it might sound, laughing is usual for people during periods of stress and uncertainty. We just laugh it off. Other theories say that laugh came about through a relaxed open play face which is similarly observed in other primates. Chimpanzees and Barbary macaques, for example, show a similar breathing sound “ahh ahh ahh.” Laughing in other primates comes from mock fighting, and social play and in humans, it first appears at one to two months of age and happens during tickling or sudden appearance of novel stimuli as in the peek-a-boo game. My son’s first laughs came about through fear. It was the only way we could get him to laugh. Even now, he laughs when startled such as in the peek-a-boo game.

Researcher Robert Provine describes the laugh as a series of short vowel-like notes or syllables, each being about seventy-five milliseconds in duration that repeat at regular intervals separated by about two hundred ten milliseconds. Laughs go something like “ha-ha-ha” or “ho-ho-ho” but never “ha-ho-ha-ho”. We can see other variations though like “cha-ha-ha” or “ha-ha-ho”. Laughs also tend to punctuate points or sentences and rarely find themselves mid sentence. His research outlines even more complexities in the laugh and if you are particularly interested in laugh structure I urge you to seek out his research, it is quite fascinating.

Laughing can become addictive too, since it releases natural pain killers called endorphins which give us a natural high. Thrill seekers such as sky divers, or race car drivers and even runners, and those who exercise regularly, also reap the rewards of the natural endorphin rushes. Endorphins have been shown to be stronger then morphine as a pain killer so activities like mentioned above can become habit forming. Being around people that make us laugh and smile gives us a positive outlook on the world. Similarly, being around people that are consistently frustrated, bring us down, as we empathize with their emotions. Our autonomic nervous system responds to our environments and the people in it which is why it is important to surround ourselves with people that make us feel good. Conversely, we can become the person others seek to initiate positive feelings, so taking the time to make someone laugh can have a huge payoff.