Tag Archive for Midsection

He Displays Dominantly, Sexually, Gets Closer And Builds Rapport – Introduction

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

Women prefer men with square jaws as it indicates the level of testosterone and hence aggression/ambition they might hold.

Women prefer men with square jaws as it indicates the level of testosterone and hence aggression/ambition they might hold.

Men and women display similarly in terms of body language, but there are some key differences when it comes to what women find attractive in men, versus what men find attractive in women. Men seek women that are submissive and willing to heed their dominance, whereas women seek men who are dominant and able to lead them. This is a general rule of course, and as we know there are exceptions to every rule, but if we are appealing to the majority of the people, which is my goal, than these generalities are adequate. Women seek out men that have the ability to gain access to resources such as food and shelter, who are protectors to them now, and in the future their offspring, and who have the physical traits they think indicate these skills such as health, vigor, and sexually virility.

Men give up plenty of cues to their virility, one of which is a tight round buttocks and lack of stomach fat. Men with round bums have been shown to be in better health and to maintain that health throughout their lifetimes. Health reports show that men who add fat to their midsection are much more prone to disease. Women also seek men with broad strong shoulders, square jaws, muscular arms and chests. Individual differences still exist as it relates to other features, for some women a hairy chest or facial hair is everything, while for others clean shaven is a must. However, nearly everyone agrees that hairy backs rank pretty low!

On average, women prefer men with more dominant features than those with submissive features. Depending on their intent however, they may at times prefer men who are more ‘feminine’ or sexier, and this is called the ‘sexy son’ theory. The theory says that women will choose men who are “pretty” based on looks alone, especially when they what to engage in risky one-night-stands. When they seek men as full time partners, on the other hand, they look for middle-of-the-road or “softer” men, in other words, ‘family-men’, since they figure they’ll be able to secure long term care in child rearing. Evolution favours both conditions where women who have random sex with “sexy fathers” so they in turn have “sexy sons” as well as women who seek out family-men who will stick around to raise families with them. In the “sexy son” scenario, the father passes on his genes to his son, but pays no, or very little effort in child care especially when compared to the family-man. The sexy-father might stick around for a few years but he’s usually distracted through proposition from other easy women – due to his sexiness he gets a lot of offers after all! This is balanced though because, while the mother is stuck raising a son on her own, he will grow up to have more or a similar number of offspring himself as will a family man. This trade-off produces more, or an equal number of children overall when compared to the family-man, making both successful strategies. We define successful in terms of making the genes for the behaviour more common or more popular. In evolutionary terms, popular genes are good genes no matter what morals are behind the behaviour. The genes merely wish, if they had wishes, to remain in existence.

He must be wealthy!

He must be wealthy!

Research tells us that men who are middle road are much less likely to stray primarily because they get fewer outside offers from women. Women who are married or in committed relationships, are more likely to cheat with men who are better looking than the average, and men who are better looking on average have more sexual relationships in their lifetime and also tend to cheat more often. A large part of this is intended to be background knowledge because it obviously doesn’t deal directly with nonverbal body language, however, it does play into the subconscious aspects and is important to frame how I view sexual body language. As always, you are welcome to disagree with my postulates and those of the scientific community, and in reality, won’t change the hidden meaning of the signals. It is my contention that knowing the ‘how’ and the ‘why’ of behaviours really give us predictive powers. These powers, in turn, give us the ability to come into novel situations, with little or no prior knowledge and deduce likely conclusions.

The Anti Crosser Is Uncomfortable

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

Legs crossed at the ankles says I'm not happy - but I'm not going anywhere.

Legs crossed at the ankles says I’m not happy – but I’m not going anywhere.

We’ve noted that leg crossing can and does show interest depending on whether or not they enclose people or block them out and we’ve also seen how the figure four leg cross is a seated crotch display and also that leg spreading shows dominance, but legs crossed also shows comfort. When the legs are crossed they significantly reduce the ability to act quickly during confrontation and when it happens while standing significantly reduces balance. Therefore, leg crossing is an important indicator of the degree of comfort felt in any given situation.

Take the standing leg cross which happens by putting one foot behind the other. What is essentially happening is that the body is supported by just one leg making escape from this position especially difficult. Walking with just one foot is extremely cumbersome! This requires the feet to first uncross before taking action and this is exactly what happens when we become uncomfortable or insecure about certain presence. We’ve talked about the fig leaf position that happens by placing the hands over the midsection to cover them, and this does happen when people feel timid or insecure, but not when they are scared or fearful. A person standing in an elevator might stand with their legs crossed, but when a stranger accompanies them, their legs will uncross and their feet will become firmly planted. The subconscious mind is saying to the body that no chances should be taken here. While the fig leaf position says “I’m uncomfortable, but escape is impossible because I must talk with this person” whereas uncrossing the legs says “I have no idea who this person is and am unsure of them” and “I know I can run at anytime, and I will, should the need arise so now it the time to prepare”

The Full Body Steeple

by  • March 5, 2013 • 2 Comments

The full steeple, sometimes called 'hooding' or the 'hooding effect' is a high confidence/dominance display.

The full steeple, sometimes called ‘hooding’ or the ‘hooding effect’ is a high confidence/dominance display.

The full body steeple occurs by placing both hands up and behind the head while seated. The postures is completed by combining it with the figure-four-leg cross which happens by placing the ankle of the opposite foot across the knee, or made even more dominant by leaving the legs splayed wide open. As we saw before, the figure-four-leg position is an abbreviated crotch display that builds status by drawing other’s attention to the midsection, while the arms behind the head posture shows arrogance because it openly exposes the body to attack. Remember that dominant people don’t worry about being attacked and often show this confidence by overexposing themselves and their vulnerable areas to challengers. The language of the crotch says that “I am safe in displaying because no one would dare try to attack me”. It also says “I have a big penis and I’m showing it off because I think yours is probably smaller”. To women, on the other hand, it’s an offering, as in “Here it is, come and get it”. Just like magicians use sleight of hand to draw attention to or away from the action, men use similar tricks to draw attention to areas they wish others to admire. Is it a mistake that men’s neckties are large pieces of cloth in the shape of an arrow? What does the arrow point to? Crotch emphasis, can and is done, with the help of pointed fingers, by wrapping the thumb around belt loops and dangling the remaining fingers in their vicinity or through a crotch adjustment. Baseball players are the world’s most prevalent crotch adjusters! I wonder if they’re trying to get at something.

High ranking women in the workplace might even been seen to carry dominant postures.

High ranking women in the workplace might even been seen to carry dominant postures.

The full body steeple can be used to intimidate others, or convey a relaxed, cocky disposition, but as always, body language needs to be taken in context. The accompanying dialogue will help tell us what is really going on. Professionals, such as lawyers, accountants, managers, bosses, and others that tend to take their superiority to higher levels than the rest of us, will be seen using the full body steeple.

To break a steepler, try opening them with honest gestures while leaning forward. Honest gestures might foster mirroring where they might drop their steeple, while leaning forward will put them on edge, especially if you near them in a feigned attack. The open, honest gestures, in your cue cluster will serve to confuse them. You may also try pulling back into a seated and relaxed position, in effect, joining them in their dominance. Avoiding eye contact to appear aloof by looking over their heads, or submitting to other’s in the room, will create an edge which is unsettling to those who wish to appear dominant. Remember, dominant people want to be in control at all times so any signal you create that leads them to believe that you are capable of acting independently will set them back. Another more diplomatic gesture is to hand them a sheet of paper or document forcing them to lean forward to take it. Standing over them is a more brazen technique and one that won’t necessarily yield favourable results. This type of encroachment onto territorial individuals is likely to instigate a confrontation. Mirroring the full body steeple gesture will probably have the most profound effect since you are displaying that you have equal status. This is certain to unnerve them.

Standing Positions And Their Hidden Meaning

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

There are four main ways in which a person might stand [a] Straight up with their feet together [b] feet slightly apart, but parallel [c] one foot forward and [d] legs crossed at the ankle.

The first posture with the legs straight and feet together is an attentive pose seen in obedient children when speaking to their parents. It is a neutral, honest pose and is found in adults of differing status like a boss and his employees. The second pose, as we saw earlier, where the legs are spread at shoulder width while standing, is a form of crotch display. This posture says “I’m going nowhere, and fast.” The standing crotch display can be made even more powerful by adding the thumbs in a belt loop, called the “cowboy pose.” The cowboy pose was made famous by old Western movies. The third posture where one foot is moved forward, with respect to the other, indicates subtle interest toward the direction in which the foot is advanced. To show interest, the foot will be moved toward the speaker, but it can also be moved away from the speaker toward someone we would rather have speak, or to the door when we wish to end the conversation. The foot takes the “first step” toward where the mind wishes it where.

The final pose where the legs are crossed at the ankle is a submissive posture. It reveals that the target isn’t ready to commit to a proposal, and shows reservation to the situation, but also that he isn’t ready to leave. The ankle cross is figurative denial of access to the body and mind. Our minds and bodies are linked so when we uncross our bodies we show others that we are willing to hear them out, which is an excellent indication that, our opinions either already match, or that there is at least a willingness to consider the facts.

An open posture while standing shows supreme confidence because it exposes the midsection to attack. When people meet for the first time, they will show timidity by crossing at the ankle. In fact, this is the most common way in which people will stand when meeting new people, those exempt will both, carry a higher status, and be aware of it.
Arm crossing, or tucking the hands in pockets, are two other ways to raise barriers when uncomfortable. These posture don’t mean negativity per se, they are simply indications that someone needs more time to acclimatize themselves to new people. Introverts over extroverts, will be found to hold this posture for much longer and more frequently than extroverts. In fact, extroverts might warm up to people so fast that they never show timidity at all, they usually jump right into any group and feel at home. When dealing with an introvert, on the other hand, offer to take them to a quiet and less busy environment to make them more comfortable. Offering a drink too, can give their hands something to do to breaking their rigidity. Providing an environment where your ideas might stick, first begins by removing barriers, even if they are nonverbal.

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Feet together - attentive.

Feet together – attentive.

Normal standing posture with feet at shoulder width apart - shows calm confidence.

Normal standing posture with feet at shoulder width apart – shows calm confidence.

One foot pointed away - shows disinterest.

One foot pointed away – shows disinterest.

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How does this posture appear fully nude?

How does the ‘cowboy posture’ appear fully nude?

Legs crossed at the ankles says I'm not happy - but I'm not going anywhere.

Legs crossed at the ankles says I’m not happy – but I’m not going anywhere.

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Fig Leaf Position

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

The 'fig leaf' protects the genitals. Imagine the posture nude for full effect!

The ‘fig leaf’ protects the genitals. Imagine the posture nude for full effect!

The fig leaf by either sex is a closed body position. It blocks the private mid section from view. This posture occurs by placing one or both hands in front of the midsection and takes its ‘fig leaf’ name from Adam and Eve’s traditionally portrayed posture in the Garden of Eden artwork. Modest men and women who find themselves accidentally disrobed will instinctively clasp their hands over their private areas. Naked women will split their attention from both breasts with one arm and hand, with the other hand over their genitals. Men will exclusively protect their genitals from view with both hands.

In real life however, will rarely find ourselves nude and exposed in public, but our minds are still hardwired to harbour feelings of insecurity from overexposure. In day to day situations women won’t be fund covering their breasts by clasping them and men won’t grab their genitals a-la Micheal Jackson, but they will claps both hands together either tightly by interlocking their fingers, or loosely with hand in hand and then casually placing them over their mid-section. Standing is the most obvious and common way that the fig leaf position shows itself, but it can also find its way in a seated position as the hands are rested on the lap. Women can and do block their chests from view, as well, but not in an offensive or obvious way. Rather, women cross their arms in front of their chests as a barrier or block their breasts from view when threatened with whatever objects they have handy, a textbook, a jacket or scarf, even bar tops.

These postures, of course, show insecurity and occur when we find ourselves in novel environments or around people we aren’t familiar with. We will often see this from less confident speakers who find themselves exposed to large audiences or when a presenter requires a participant (victim) to demonstrate a concept.