Tag Archive for Legs Crossed

The Leg Twine And Leg Crossing

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

Open legs can be seen as easy (or willing).

Open legs can be seen as easy (or willing).

The leg twine is one of the most appealing sitting positions for women. The posture is done by tightly wrapping one around the other. The result makes the legs appear extremely toned. To produce a sexual cluster that intensifies signals of interest, a woman can place one hand on her thigh, stroke it, and engage in eye contact, and even bat her eyes at her object of affection.

Crossing and uncrossing the legs in the presence of men, especially if done slowly also shows interest, as it exposes the inner thigh which is a very intimate part of the female body. Leaving the legs uncrossed altogether, while sitting or standing, or massaging them so as to draw attention to them, can ramp up a sexual invitation even further. Another leg crossing variation happens when the leg is tucked under the body and sat on with the knee pointing toward her interest. This also leaves the inside of the thigh exposed and is particularly alluring when wearing a skirt, especially a short one!

Legs are often crossed toward a person of interest although this isn’t a hard fast rule. For example, most people have a leg cross preference, and so only find sitting one way or the other to be comfortable. The theory behind leg crossing toward the person we are connecting with stems from the symbolism of the leg as a barrier preventing outside people from entering. Orienting the body and shoulders toward someone has the same effect. However, leaning in with a leg cross to shrink the distance can deliver a much stronger and more reliable message. It is the proximity that produces the real information, rather than the actual leg cross direction. Having the legs spread while sitting or standing isn’t always a positive cue of interest, though sometimes it is, but it always tell us something about the sender.

For the sake of being complete, at the risk of sounding obvious, open legs tells us that a woman is either easy, trying to look that way, or doesn’t realize she’s be improper so is careless about her sitting postures. In other words, legs wide open says she’s a bit sloppy, regardless of her true intention. Woman should always hold good leg crossing postures especially in public and even when trying to attract the attention of men. In most cases, appearing easy or sloppy is not to their benefit, at least to most. With the recent lax in proper manners, I suspect appearing sloppy, or “casual” to use a more political term, is the likely culprit, but legs open can still be tested for easiness by men keen on scoring an easy women. While this all might sound crass, remember that these are the types of signals being sent when women comport themselves in these ways, so it is up to them to change their body postures, as changing the nature of subconscious perceptions is impossible. Those that aren’t reading material on body language, which is a healthy majority, will merely go on instinct, and this instinct will have “easy” written all over it.

Above: The legs speak and they often cross toward their interest. By re-orienting, as she has done, this is an overt signal that Julie is interested and “plugging” into the conversation with Mark. This is a strong indicator of interest. Much more is covered in the Ebook Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language.

The Anti Crosser Is Uncomfortable

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

Legs crossed at the ankles says I'm not happy - but I'm not going anywhere.

Legs crossed at the ankles says I’m not happy – but I’m not going anywhere.

We’ve noted that leg crossing can and does show interest depending on whether or not they enclose people or block them out and we’ve also seen how the figure four leg cross is a seated crotch display and also that leg spreading shows dominance, but legs crossed also shows comfort. When the legs are crossed they significantly reduce the ability to act quickly during confrontation and when it happens while standing significantly reduces balance. Therefore, leg crossing is an important indicator of the degree of comfort felt in any given situation.

Take the standing leg cross which happens by putting one foot behind the other. What is essentially happening is that the body is supported by just one leg making escape from this position especially difficult. Walking with just one foot is extremely cumbersome! This requires the feet to first uncross before taking action and this is exactly what happens when we become uncomfortable or insecure about certain presence. We’ve talked about the fig leaf position that happens by placing the hands over the midsection to cover them, and this does happen when people feel timid or insecure, but not when they are scared or fearful. A person standing in an elevator might stand with their legs crossed, but when a stranger accompanies them, their legs will uncross and their feet will become firmly planted. The subconscious mind is saying to the body that no chances should be taken here. While the fig leaf position says “I’m uncomfortable, but escape is impossible because I must talk with this person” whereas uncrossing the legs says “I have no idea who this person is and am unsure of them” and “I know I can run at anytime, and I will, should the need arise so now it the time to prepare”

How Bodies Become Relaxed And Defrost

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

When people meet for the first time they keep a significant amount of space between themselves.

When people meet for the first time they keep a significant amount of space between themselves.

Quite literally, human bodies when comfortable undergo a thawing out process. Initially we start off stiff and rigid, even appearing cold. But over time we open up and become more loose, ready to take part in activities, or converse. Here is a summary of the defrosting process:

[A] Strangers meet, but keep their distance with arms and or legs crossed. Buttons and jackets are done up tight.
[B] Legs become uncrossed, but arms remained uncrossed as we decide our company is no immediate threat.
[C] Conversation is initiated, usually small talk, until a common interest is discovered. Once this happens rapport begins forming and gesticulation is used to liven up the speech. At first, the arms re-cross after speaking, but eventually they stay loose and drop to the sides or find themselves in pockets.
[D] Attire is loosened and jackets are removed.
[E] The legs become uncrossed and a foot is extended toward their company, but the back foot bears most of the weight.
[F] If rapport increases and trust builds, the space between the strangers might shrink bringing them into each others personal space zone.
[G] Touching in safe zones like the elbows and arms might solidify the relationship, but touching is not always expected or common.

How We Sequence The Letting Of Our Guard

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

Initially when people meet there is apprehension. In today’s day and age this attitude is vestigial since most people are agreeable and sociable. It wasn’t always like this as our evolutionary past is full of treachery. Two strangers meeting on foreign territory could have meant war, violence or theft. For women, the consequences could have been worse and include rape and kidnapping.

Holding a defensive posture, therefore, is a natural innate disposition and when people meet we should expect them to hold indications of timidity, at least initially. When two low ranking individuals meet they would naturally hold at least one posture that indicates that they are closed or protective. Having their arms or legs crossed at the ankles are two of the more common gestures. Those with higher rank will naturally express fewer closed postures initially when compared to those of lower rank. By the way, while we might feel rank in society is of no consequence, this couldn’t be further from the truth. As we are a capitalist society we are all more than aware of our relative standing in the world so our rank is well known to us.

Even children understand they rank low in the hierarchy of the world. However, in new environments it’s normal for even adult bodies to tense up and show certain levels of awkwardness. When two strangers meet, they will have their arms folded across their chest or perhaps in a pocket and their legs will be crossed at the ankle. This depends entirely on their level of comfort related to the novelty of the environment and their perceived status in relation to the other people present.

As the discussion continues between stranger, the feet are most likely the first to separate and uncross at the ankle, which will then be placed “at attention”, meaning together separated by a few inches and on the same plane. This will occur in unison with common dialogue, if no such rapport is built, the conversation can turn even more awkward and the bodies may tense and seek methods to exit the conversation.

Next, the arms will become more animated and be used to colour their language, essentially losing their rigidity. The palms will be made more visible and be flashed palm-up in conversation showing honesty and openness. Next, the arms will remain uncrossed and become more active in the conversation showing comfort, be placed in pockets showing some residual reservation or be placed on the hips showing dominance if one or the other discovers they have a higher status. Next, and if general agreement is established, one foot might be extended toward the other person rather than an exit.

If one person fails to open up, usually both wont, as mirroring each other is also part of the natural process. In rare occasions, one person will open up, and the other will not, showing one-way agreement or that one person is generally more open minded and easy to please than the and the other. Finally, the distance between the two might be reduced by taking a step forward, or brief touching might take place in safe zones such as the forearm or elbow.

Standing Positions And Their Hidden Meaning

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

There are four main ways in which a person might stand [a] Straight up with their feet together [b] feet slightly apart, but parallel [c] one foot forward and [d] legs crossed at the ankle.

The first posture with the legs straight and feet together is an attentive pose seen in obedient children when speaking to their parents. It is a neutral, honest pose and is found in adults of differing status like a boss and his employees. The second pose, as we saw earlier, where the legs are spread at shoulder width while standing, is a form of crotch display. This posture says “I’m going nowhere, and fast.” The standing crotch display can be made even more powerful by adding the thumbs in a belt loop, called the “cowboy pose.” The cowboy pose was made famous by old Western movies. The third posture where one foot is moved forward, with respect to the other, indicates subtle interest toward the direction in which the foot is advanced. To show interest, the foot will be moved toward the speaker, but it can also be moved away from the speaker toward someone we would rather have speak, or to the door when we wish to end the conversation. The foot takes the “first step” toward where the mind wishes it where.

The final pose where the legs are crossed at the ankle is a submissive posture. It reveals that the target isn’t ready to commit to a proposal, and shows reservation to the situation, but also that he isn’t ready to leave. The ankle cross is figurative denial of access to the body and mind. Our minds and bodies are linked so when we uncross our bodies we show others that we are willing to hear them out, which is an excellent indication that, our opinions either already match, or that there is at least a willingness to consider the facts.

An open posture while standing shows supreme confidence because it exposes the midsection to attack. When people meet for the first time, they will show timidity by crossing at the ankle. In fact, this is the most common way in which people will stand when meeting new people, those exempt will both, carry a higher status, and be aware of it.
Arm crossing, or tucking the hands in pockets, are two other ways to raise barriers when uncomfortable. These posture don’t mean negativity per se, they are simply indications that someone needs more time to acclimatize themselves to new people. Introverts over extroverts, will be found to hold this posture for much longer and more frequently than extroverts. In fact, extroverts might warm up to people so fast that they never show timidity at all, they usually jump right into any group and feel at home. When dealing with an introvert, on the other hand, offer to take them to a quiet and less busy environment to make them more comfortable. Offering a drink too, can give their hands something to do to breaking their rigidity. Providing an environment where your ideas might stick, first begins by removing barriers, even if they are nonverbal.

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Feet together - attentive.

Feet together – attentive.

Normal standing posture with feet at shoulder width apart - shows calm confidence.

Normal standing posture with feet at shoulder width apart – shows calm confidence.

One foot pointed away - shows disinterest.

One foot pointed away – shows disinterest.

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How does this posture appear fully nude?

How does the ‘cowboy posture’ appear fully nude?

Legs crossed at the ankles says I'm not happy - but I'm not going anywhere.

Legs crossed at the ankles says I’m not happy – but I’m not going anywhere.

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The Meaning Of Leg Crossing

by  • March 5, 2013 • 1 Comment

These legs are interested - note how they are crossed toward rather than away.

These legs are interested – note how they are crossed toward rather than away.

The legs are equally as expressive as the arm in terms of the meaning they convey. This is largely because the arms are frequently busy doing other task oriented things whereas the legs usually remain idle free to express hidden thoughts. Of course, the legs also have their share of work to do, but when sitting or standing still they have a tendency to leak information. We also pay less attention to our legs because they move less freely putting them further away from our consciousness. Perhaps we feel that because our legs can only do so much we need not pay them any mind and so reason we ignore them.

The legs therefore, are a great indicator of true thoughts and feelings. For example, we might look to the legs to verify interest. The legs crossed toward something or someone indicates thoughts and shows an attraction in the direction. In other words the legs are propelled in the direction in which we think. Couples that have a strong relationship will cross their legs toward each other, enemies will cross away, context permitting of course. Lovers sitting on a couch together with their legs crossed toward each other, bodies leaning inward, with their arms meeting over the backs of the couch are said to be in a “loving circle.” This is not a term reserved for just intimate couples though, it can also apply to family, close friends and even associates, both male and female. It represents a likeness of mind – agreement. Caution is required at this point, since not everyone is equally able or willing to cross their legs in either direction. Over time, we tend to develop greater flexibility in one direction, or the other, simply through habit, so it’s not always a valuable signal if a person crosses their legs away from someone else. If they lean and cross away from each other, then these two clues, in context, might mean something is worth exploring further.

It has been noted in several studies that the amount of movement that the feet undergo while lying significantly increases, and that these movements are below the level of consciousness. It’s fairly easy to monitor our arms and (with limited success), our facial expressions, but it’s something else to monitor a distant part like our feet. The leg tap, where the hand rhythmically taps the thigh can be done out of fear or deceit, even out of fear of being caught, uneasiness and even boredom, depending on the remaining set of cues in a cluster and on the particular context by which they occur. What we do below the belt is out of sight and out of mind!

Open legs can be seen as easy (or willing).

Open legs can be seen as easy (or willing).

Legs

Women with legs open are often seen as too aggressive.

Women with legs open are often seen in a negative light – as too aggressive.

uncrossed is a signal of openness, acceptance and signal of being easy going. This is of particular importance as it pertains to women, as it can taken as a sexual signal or invitation, making women appear easy, “loose” or at best crass or improper. Sharon Stone in the movie Basic Instinct sent a clear message as she slowly uncrossed and re-crossed her legs while being interrogated. Women wishing to appear dominant will find this posture comfortable, but it will be accompanied by other male typical gestures such as throwing an arm over the back of the chair to take up more space and loud boisterous behaviour.

Men can use open legs to show dominance more easily than women.

Men can use open legs to show dominance more easily than women.

Men, on the other hand, have the benefit of using the uncrossed legs signal for more than one reason. Men can have their legs uncrossed to display a signal of dominance and authority which is a welcomed natural signal from men, or it can be used as a signal to appear open. In men, the meaning of the leg spread is determined by its context and the manner in which it occurs. Men in seated positions spread their legs as a dominance display as it puts the genitals out for everyone to see. This is one of the gestures that makes use of the exercise of imagining people fully nude. What would you think of a guest that sat down in your favourite chair and tossed his leg over the arm rest? Would you think him any less belligerent if he had done it at his own house? The leg over the chair is as overt a leg spread message as you will get.

The degree to which leg spreading happens is important in both sexes. Spreading is positively correlated with dominance display. That is the greater the leg spread, the greater is the dominance display. The legs cocked, so to speak, at shoulder width while seated, is comfortable and natural even for both sexes, but once the legs break that distance, appear much less covert. Once the legs meet their maximum angle, it is as if the genitals are yelling at the top of their lungs through a loudspeaker begging to be noticed! Legs in the figure four where one ankle is raise and placed on top of the knee opposite is an abbreviated leg cross which is less dominant. We cover this later in the chapter. The legs can also be cross tightly with the legs nearly parallel or with the leg over the knee. This is a reserved posture and shows a respectful, polite and proper attitude.

In a standing position, legs spread at or slightly beyond shoulder width signals dominance in a more acceptable way. In fact, having the legs uncrossed while standing is the most appropriate way to stand since it appears open, accepting and confident. Crossing at the ankles, as we will see later, shows a reserved mind and is therefore a closed posture. We must be careful with reading leg information since most everyone has a preferred way to cross them, but if we watching their movement across time and across context we can pattern specific people. We should never assume that any and all signals, especially leg crossing, has universal meaning across all people.

Breaking The Mold – How To ‘Close’ The ‘Closed’

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

Handing someone a drink, papers, anything, can be an excellent way to open someone up for a sale.

Handing someone a drink, papers, anything, can be an excellent way to open someone up for a sale.

The research shows us that a significant amount of information is inhibited from reaching the brain when our bodies show closed body language. In one such study, two groups of students attended the same lecture. One group was instructed to hold their arms and legs crossed throughout, while the other received no such instructions. The group instructed to hold closed body language was found to have retained forty percent less information than the group that held open body language. The lecturer was also rated far more critically. Therefore, when presenting to someone with their arms crossed it is vitally important to use tactics that help them open up and drop negative cues. Not only will the retention of your message increase significantly, but so too will the probability that any agreement will take place.

It’s nearly impossible to formulate agreements with others who have their arms crossed or a myriad of other closed body postures. By simply opening your objective, they will be more receptive to your thoughts and ideas. This is why is it important, as closed body language arises, to immediately re-calibrate your tactics. If your target’s legs cross, have them stand up and move to the same side of the table to get a closer look at the material, or have them reach forward for something, forcing them to take a ready position with their bodies leaning toward you. If their arms are crossed, have them jot down notes on a piece of paper which you can express as being important for later, or have them examine a document which you can hand to them. You will want to carefully monitor their post position to see if after the item is discarded they return to their original closed body position. If they are adamant in keeping closed, they probably aren’t receiving the message to your favour.

Other ways to open people include handing them a cup of coffee, or glass of water, show them photographs of family or pets, handing them model cars or any other office artifact you might have noticed them examining with some interest. Handing them any object forces them to uncross their arms to reach for it thereby opening them. The object used isn’t vitally important, it just needs to be interesting enough to motivate them to reach for it. By doing a bit of research beforehand, you can probably find a mutual interest that can be exploited during the pitch to build rapport. This will prove especially useful if the meeting takes a turn for the worst. Being creative to re-open the conversation is an important tactic for everyone in business.