Tag Archive for Index Finger

Nose Language

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

chg

When people are stressed, blood flushes into the skin.  Our hands are then drawn to the areas most affected due to increased sensitivity and heat so we tend to point out our stress.  Enlarged capillaries in the nose can induce our hands in it’s direction to sooth it.  As blood flows to the nose, it enlarges, giving credence to the ‘Pinocchio effect.’

Nose touching might also stem from lying. It can happen as a quick but purposeful touch, the finger might graze the side of the nose, or it can be a persistent rubbing. Sometimes the touch is quick and dirty in an up and down motion, other times it is a brief almost unnoticeable touch to the base of the nose or its side. Face touching can come in two forms, one that serves a real function to alleviate an itch, and one that is the result of negative feelings such as being uncomfortable and stressed. Face touching that is due to an emotion is meant as a fix behind the sensation, the emotion, and not due to any physical need.

In order to appear more honest in front of others, either reduce or eliminate all face touching, make them appear more natural, or make them consistent in affect across all situations. Itching is usually a repetitive isolated gesture, which happens regardless of what is said, and happens at times when it would be impossible to assume a connection to what is being said. For example, saying something of questionable truthfulness, then brushing the side of the nose with an index finger is likely to raise suspicion, whereas bumping the nose when not speaking or when describing insignificant details would go unnoticed. Always try to make gestures appear natural and functional instead and also be particularly conscious of nose and face touching when you think someone is trying to peg you a liar. Over time it is your baseline that will give you away, so if you remain consistent across all situations, you’re less likely to give up tells. Most will find that their minds are more active and busy during lying, so it’s easier to avoid gestures altogether instead of adding honest gestures. This makes eliminating face touching one of the easiest ways to appear honest with minimal effort.

Hand To Mouth Gestures

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

When a child lies, she might bring her hand up quickly and slap her mouth closed, but when an adult lies, she holds back and might only lightly touch the side of the mouth.

When a child lies, she might bring her hand up quickly and slap her mouth closed, but when an adult lies, she holds back and might only lightly touch the side of the mouth.

Mouth covering is another way to reduce the pain of telling a lie. In this case, it is so as to “speak no evil.” Small children perform a full cover and even slap their mouths when they say something they shouldn’t. Grown adults will sometimes cup their hands to their mouths like children in effort to “jam the words back in their mouths” but usually use more subtle gestures such as talking through their hand or placing a finger softly over their lips. Talking with ones hand covering the mouth “talking through the hand” or resting the hand around the mouth by wrapping the fingers around the top, are significant clues indicating insecurity.

Subconsciously, hand-to-mouth gestures leads people to distrust others, and see them as less honest overall. The gesture can be done with a fist, a finger, or a ‘shushing’ motion with the index finger vertically placed over the lips. Other times the subconscious mind is so powerful that the hand comes up and slaps the mouth, but to cover this ‘tell’ up, a fake cough is added.

'Talking through the mouth' is seen as dishonest.

‘Talking through the mouth’ is seen as dishonest.

Handshake Advice For Women And Men With Small Hands

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

While you might think it has little effect, a firm handshake from a woman where it might be least expected, can be very powerful and get them noticed. In fact, to this day, I still recall the first woman that impressed me with her handshake and the exact location in which it occurred, and this was nearly ten years ago!

Women with good handshakes and dominant body language will have a better chance of securing more important roles in corporations such as supervisors and managers, and get to these positions much faster. To avoid having their entire hand enveloped by a man’s, women should thrust their entire hand forward holding the thumb at ninety degrees to their palm with the hand in a perfectly vertical position. Next, thrust the hand forward aiming the web, which is the skin located between the thumb and index finger so that it aligns with the web of his hand. To some degree this prevents the larger hand from fully engulfing the smaller hand as is when hands are only weakly thrust forward, or not thrust at all. In these cases, the small handed person usually ends up with their finger tips being crushed by the mitts of the larger hand!

Hand On The Chin For Evaluation Or Negative Thoughts

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

an eval

A classic evaluative gesture done by producing an “L” shape with the thumb and index fingers, but where the chin is not carrying any weight.

We can measure the level of interest or negativity our listeners have by how much pressure is held by the hand during conversation. Under average evaluative body language, the index finger is placed to the side of the head and only lightly supports the weight of the head, or the hands are left and placed on the table with palms up or uncrossed to the front of the body. When the hands touch the face and interest is present, the index and thumb will form an “L” shape and the chin is placed in the crux of the “L” but is not supported by it. Conversely, with genuine interest, the hand will barely touch the side of the face. In this case, the hand curls and the knuckles gently rests against the side of the face, and in other cases, the hand remains open with the finger tips of the index and middle finger gently resting on the cheek. As the listener becomes bored or tired, the hand will bear more and more of the weight and the body will seem to slump completely over the hand and be supported by it. As boredom sets in, the thumb will move under the chin to help the person hold their head even further, or the chin will seem to compress into the palm. When the index finger is found playing with or rubbing the corner of the eyes it indicates fatigue or disbelief as in “I can’t see that.” Movements to the eye like also serve to show negative thoughts and emotions. We should be careful to watch for them.

She's growing bored - we know because her "L" hand is taking on some the weight of her head.

She’s growing bored – we know because her “L” hand is taking on some the weight of her head.

Now she's checking out as the head is clearly being supported by the palm.

Now she’s checking out as the head is clearly being supported by the palm.

Seeing these cues develop tells us that it’s time to change the subject to revive interest, change locations to get the blood flowing again, or take a break to try to recover, and in extreme cases, throw in the towel and give up. Boredom is a negative thought indicator and the cues used to indicate it tell us that rapport is being lost between the listener and the speaker. Interested individuals inject themselves and their body completely into the conversation, rather than detaching themselves.

The Spear Throwing Pointer And Other Power Gestures

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

Pointing makes your message more poignant, but only because the receiver is being figuratively jabbed by your spear.

Pointing makes your message more poignant, but only because the receiver is being figuratively jabbed by your spear.

The pointer is akin to a spear thrower. Every time they thrust their finger forward it is as if they are jabbing their ideas into the kidneys of their audience. Alternately, the finger can be used rhythmically in an up and down motion seemingly beating down upon their opponent trying to create submission. The finger pointer makes his appearance during aggressive verbal fights where the accuser is making strong personal attacks against the other. Very negative emotions are attached to such actions so it’s best to avoid this gesturing. Finger pointing puts the reflection and responsibility onto the listener, and for this reason, they attach negative connotations to the speaker. It creates defensive feelings in the listener and as it persists these defensive feelings grow into aggression. Parents will often use the pointing finger to scold children but adults will be far less tolerant of other’s authority especially those of equal status so it is unwise to exercise this gesture with abandon. Even more pronounced than the finger spear is the hammer fist where the hand is made into a ball serving to repeatedly “hammer” the speech into the listeners. The hammer fist shows conviction and determination, where neither might be present. When the fingers are curled lightly not quite making a fist, the intent is to show mild power and a desire to be taken seriously but lacking the conviction found in the hammer fist.

This gesture comes across less threatening and is more suited to making a point to an audience.

The “politicians gesture” comes across less threatening, and is more suited to making a point to an audience.

An alternate, and abbreviated form of the pointing figure, is the thumb in hand gesture where the thumb lies against the index finger and where the remaining fingers form a ball. The hand then motions as if pointing, and in a rhythmic motion, emphasize points with conviction. The thumb in hand gestures is the “politicians gesture” since it is frequently used by various Presidents and world leaders. The thumb in hand gesture is much less offensive than the pointing finger, but can appear smug when done by those of lower status. Speakers might also use the “OK” gesture which is done by placing the thumb against the index finger forming an opening with the remaining fingers flared out.
The thumb in hand and the OK signal are considered to be more thought provoking and honest than finger pointing and takes the responsibility back from the listeners and places it back on the speech. The OK signal rotated so the fingers face the audience, with the thumb inward, is used when we want to show precision and delicacy. Without being careful with the OK gesture it can appear as uncertainty as is the case when the thumb and index finger come close, but don’t quite touch. In this case, the gesture is more useful when posing questions rather than making statements.

Additional gestures:

______________________________________________________________________________________________

It was this big!

It was this big!

[A] The measurer. The hands are moved parallel to one another and juggled up and down as if measuring an object. This signals a desire to project thoughts onto others.

 

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Accepting the audience.

Accepting the audience.

[B] The finger spreader. The hands are held out and finger splayed apart facing palm to the audience. This is an attempt to make contact with the entire audience.

 

 

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The "offerer" wants to give you his thoughts and just doesn't understand your point of view.

The “offerer” wants to give you his thoughts and just doesn’t understand your point of view.

[C] The offered. The hands are palm up as if giving a gift. This is a beggar’s plea where agreement is desperately sought from the audience.

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Connecting with the audience.

Accept me as I accept you.

[D] The hugger. The arms are made into a circle in front of the body with the palms facing inward toward the speaker. The speaker wishes for the audience to accept his way of thinking or in other cases, the speaker is trying to grasp his own hypothesis.

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[E] The traffic cop. The hands are placed palm up in a stop motion. The speaker wishes the audience to settle or calm so they can continue.

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Some Gestures Are Universal

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

I think she wants him to come closer.

I think she wants him to come closer.

Smiles which signify submission and enjoyment to others are a great example of a universal expression. As mentioned not all gestures, however, have a universal origin, but one that does is the shoulder shrug. The shrug is done by bringing the shoulders up, drawing the head in, and turning the palms upwards so as to reveal that nothing is hidden. The shoulder shrug can also demonstrate submission or that what is being said isn’t understood as in “I don’t know” or “I don’t get it”. Pointing finds its place all over the world to indicate direction or to emphasis a point. However, even the pointing gesture shows variation across culture as some will point with the index finger, others will use the middle finger and yet others still will point with a closed fist and use the thumb to indicate. Most cultures find pointing rude altogether, but others are more tolerant of its use. Where the middle finger is seen as a rude gesture, using it to point can be extremely off-putting and should be avoided.

Another gesture that has roots in various cultures is the beckoning signal whereby the index finger is curled upwards repetitively, with the palm facing up and the remaining fingers clenched. It means “come here”. In Africa and Spanish speaking countries the entire hand can be used and includes all four fingers whereas in Sicily the entire hand is waved palm down in a sweeping motion as if to drag the person in. The Japanese have a similar gesture, but the four fingers are used with the palm facing the target and is placed at head height. The fingers are then pulled inward toward the palm. To Americans and Europeans, it might be confused with waving rather than beckoning primarily due to the height of the hand. This gesture is found in the Maneki Neko which is the “beckoning cat” a symbolic figure. The beckoning cat also translates to the welcoming cat, lucky cat, money cat or fortune cat.

Most gestures, however, are heavily culturally driven and are therefore learned. They are transferred through time by their use. Gestures are obvious to locals, but to visitors the gestures often means something else altogether. With globalization and ubiquitous media the nonverbal gap is shrinking all the time. If the trend continues gestures will become more and more universal. As regional medias become more uniform, so too does the body language. Even a country kid knows how to act in a congested downtown city core from what they’ve seen in movies and on television. Even isolated rural cultures including native tribes, absent of modern media are seeing more and more visitors via tourism every year serving to assimilate their gestures.

Some More Examples Of Emblems

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The “C” gesture: Used in Mexico to signal a desire to interrupt the speaker or in North America used by television producers to indicate the need to break for a commercial. It’s origins stem from a Mexican television presenter Raul Velasco in the program Siempre en Domingo (meaning “Always on Sunday”). It was first used behind the scenes, but because Velasco, the host, used it on camera, it spread across the main population and to some extend across the rest of Latin America.

The benediction gesture: Done by raising the right hand with the ring and little finger touching the palm and the index and middle pointed upwards. It was used in Ancient Roman times during speaking by emperors to symbolize a charm or blessing. In Sicily it declares that someone is dead.

Payment gestures: In America the payment gesture is performed by placing the index finger and thumb together then doing a writing motion in the air as if to sign the name on the bill. In Egypt, a request for the bill is signaled by holding the left hand out palm up and tapping the left hand palm down against the left wrist. In Thailand payment is indicated by making a circling gesture in the air whereas in the Philippines one draws rectangles in the air.

Thumbs up: Performed by rolling the fingers together against the palm then extending the thumb up. It has different meaning across the world. To Europeans, it means “one”, to Australians performed with a upward motion it is a rude gesture, saying “sit on this”, in Greece it is thrust forward and is equally rude, and carries equally sexual insults in Africa, Southern Europe and the Middle East, while in Japan in means “man” and “five”. While the meaning of the thumbs up gesture has been shown to have changed over time, it was first postulated to have had a Roman origin through a 19th century painting by artist Jean-Léon Gérôme where a triumphant gladiator stands over a fallen enemy seeking a “thumbs-up” or “thumbs-down” demanding a verdict, to kill or not. However, author of Manwatching Desmond Morris claims that the true ‘spare him’ signal was actually made by tucking the thumb inside the fist.

Fig sign: The fig sign is made by first making a fist then thrusting the thumb up between the middle and index finger until it pokes through slightly. It can also be done by putting the thumb through the ring and middle finger. This gesture can mean everything from a good luck charm and fertility as in ancient Rome to an obscene gesture which is the case for Greece, Indonesia, Turkey, Cyprus and Russia. Where it is an insult, it is the equivalent of “screw you” where the thumb represents the clitoris. The sexual connotations dates back to ancient Rome and is referred to in Dante’s Inferno as a curse against God followed up with the “fig” gesture. Today, Americans will use this gesture to symbolize the taking of a child’s nose, as in “I got your nose”, with the thumb in this instance representing the nose.

The little finger: Performed by raising just the little finger upward with the remaining fingers clenched into a fist. In Bali it means “bad”, in Japan “woman”, South America “thin”, France “you can’t fool me!” and Mediterranean “small penis”.

Emblems: Word Replacement Gestures

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Peace or victory? Depends on your audience! Some gestures can be seen as offensive in different cultures.

Peace or victory? Depends on your audience! Some gestures can be seen as offensive in different cultures.

Emblems or “quotable gestures” are those gestures that are culturally specific which can be used as replacement for words. That is, the gestures have a direct verbal translation. Obviously these gestures will mean different things in different settings and can range from complimentary to offensive. Studies show us that people lower in socioeconomic status gesticulate, which is the action of using gestures while talking, more often than those with higher status. Usually this is tied directly to education, and those who have a higher level of schooling also have a larger vocabulary so instead of using gestures to express themselves, they use words instead.

The middle finger is an obvious gesture to Westerners and so too is the peace sign (or V-sign) which can also mean victory. However, George Bush senior was famously ridiculed for “flipping” the V-sign as he was met with Australian onlookers. In their culture the same gesture is considered an insult. The V-sign where the palm faces outward has long been an gesture meant to insult but not just in Australia, also in England and the rest of the United Kingdom, Ireland and parts of France.

This "a-okay" gesture means good things or a rude piece of human anatomy!

This “a-okay” gesture means good things or a rude piece of human anatomy!

The “hook ’em horns” where the index finger and little finger are extended and the remaining fingers held down with the thumb is poplar to University of Texas Longhorn fans, but when directed to a married Italian man, means that his wife is having an affair. In North America, the “thumbs-up” gestures can mean “great” or “I need a ride” but for Greeks the gestures means “up yours” and is accompanied by a rapid upward and slower downward motion. Another gesture that has multiple cultural meaning is the “OK” sign where the thumb and index finger come together to make an “O” shape with the remaining fingers flared out. In Western cultures this means that things are “A-OK” but in Russia or Turkey, it describes a sexual insult, specifically identifying an orifice. These select few emblems illustrate the importance of cultural context when it comes to gesturing. Since the signals have a direct verbal translation that varies from region to region, it is paramount when one travels, to make note of these differences to avoid a potentially damaging misunderstanding.

Emblems, Illustrators, Affect Displays, Adaptors And Regulators

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Gesticulating is the original form of communication between humans.

Gesticulating is the original form of communication between humans.

Gestures are used in speech to convey information more efficiently or to express attitudes or emotions and as a body language reader they give us clues as to the speakers mental framework from which they speak. Beneficial byproducts of gestures include making speech occur more smoothly and increased liking between speakers and listeners. In the following section we will cover “kinesics” which is the subclass of nonverbal body language that is related to movement. Kinesics is probably the most talked about and most common type of body language but also the most easily confused cross-culturally.

The first full length study on gesture was published in 1644 by John Bulwer. He catalogued dozens of gestures and produced a guide on how to increase clarity and eloquence in public speaking. Further research has shown that some gestures are universal and therefore have ubiquitous meaning across cultures, while others only have local meaning. Other gestures are context specific so mean one thing in one place and can mean something entirely different elsewhere. Pointing, made by extending the index finger and balling up the rest of the hand for example, is one of the gestures that has the same meaning everywhere, but the okay-sign made by touching the index finger to the thumb and flaring out the remaining fingers, as we shall see later, does not.

Some cultures also tend to gesture, called “gesticulation” when used in speech, more or less often than others. For example, Italians are known to use a lot of gestures in speech whereas the English tend to use gestures infrequently. The English culture, on the other hand, deems high rates of gesticulation as being impolite. The high gesture cultures include Hebrew, French and Spanish.

The more social way for us to use our hands is to use them in concert with what is being said, although taken to extremes like the Italians, or lack thereof like the English, can be counterproductive. A balance between the two, will be the best case. The hands and arms add to the dialogue and liven it. Keeping your hands to your sides or your arms crossed tightly might be comfortable, but those that use their hands moderately while speaking appear intelligent and honest when viewed by others. Universally, closed posture come off as negative and anti-social no matter what kinds of truths spoken or positive feelings intended by the speaker. This is why it’s so important to be conscious of our gestures because even if we aren’t, others will be. Whether or not others bring closed body language to consciousness, is not relevant. Our impressions are created in others passively with no active thinking.

The various gestures have been broken down into five categories: emblems, illustrators, affect displays, regulators which we cover next.