Tag Archive for Happiness

Smiling And Gazing Advice For Men

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

A worried facial expression wont lead to positive outcomes! Try a relaxed, confident smile instead.

A worried facial expression wont lead to positive outcomes! Try a relaxed, confident smile instead.

Smiles mean a lot more than just happiness, such as fear and stress. However, smiles due tend to appear most from happiness, and as a result of genuine feelings of optimism. They also indicate confidence and hopefulness. We know that smiles are infectious, yet men hardly ever sport them. I suppose men’s lack of smiles has to do with the vast amount of testosterone that courses through their bodies, coupled with the fear of appearing subordinate to others, but men should not let that be a deterrent. If men walk through life with a big grin, people will notice and stop them, wondering what good news they hold, or what successes they have achieved.

Laughter and smiles, when done by men, show women that they have interesting and successful lives. Men can easily try a smile experiment to measure the exact value it has, and they’ll know they’re onto something when they receive smiles in return. While it is true that some smiles won’t be well received, be they ignored or returned with a grimace, it shouldn’t deter the smile experiment from continuing. The object isn’t to impress everyone, rather it is to plan seeds in the minds of others that you are friendly, open to conversation, and that good things happen to you, and that if they associate with you, these good things might benefit them too.

Even stone faced women can be broken by persistent smiling so long as it is done properly. When smiling, men should never face women straight on, rather they should smile at an angle. The straight on look can be construed as aggressive and confrontational. Men should always break smiles by looking down, not away, up or to the side. A downward look shows that you are prepared to submit and that you are not a threat. If eye contact is made, keep it brief, lasting less than three seconds and always add a small genuine smile with head cocked at forty-five degrees. Avoid head on stares, prolonged looks, or abnormal or persistent eye widening, as these will surely send the wrong message.

Even if women don’t respond immediately, it doesn’t mean that a future encounter won’t lead to positive things. In public we are habitually in displacement mode so most women initially see people as objects rather than people worthy of interaction. Men should understand that women find others, especially strange men, as potential threats to their safety. If, or rather when, because after all this is a numbers game, a man finds a willing participant, the sensation will be immediately exhilarating for both parties. However, smiling isn’t the end of the story, it’s the start. Smiling endlessly can become creepy so if invitations to conversation seems welcome, graduate to verbal dialogue and take things to the next level. If your experiment fails miserably, try adding a sharp nod or even a joyous “hi”, “hey”, or “hello.” A verbal connection or a more obvious nonverbal signal can serve to snap people more forcefully out of their public displacement.

Smiles are inexpensive so don’t be afraid to use them, but do keep in mind that the vast majority of people, especially in crowded urban areas, might ignore them totally. Remember though, that just because the cues are ignored does not mean that it is a personal rejection, since logically, these people have no sense whatever about the smiler, they don’t even know them! Remember too, like a lot of things in life, smiling-success is a numbers game.

She Displays Submissively, Sexually, Gets Closer And Builds Rapport

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

Many sexual cues are submissive in nature - it evokes a protective response in men.

Many sexual cues are submissive in nature – it evokes a protective response in men.

Most sexual signals a woman imparts has some component that is rooted in appearing submissive. A very large part of dating involves relinquishing power to our partners and most often it is the woman who allows herself to be dominated by men, rather than the other way around. You might think that it untrue, that women today share equally or tend to “wear the pants in the household”, and that feminism has equalized the sexes, but if you take the act of sex by itself, absent of whatever else happens in the couple’s dynamic, it is plainly obvious that men dominate the act. Sex, is done by penetrating the women’s vagina with the man’s penis. The very act alone requires her to submit to him, and relationships are no different. Now I do understand that women control the household, some even control the finances, but women still hold and give birth to children and the brain is still hardwired to prefer a dominant man who can assist in raising that child. These points, and not withstanding the myriad of variations with respect to dominance and how it fits into relationships male dominance still holds true for the “norm” – for the average. There’d be no point in talking specifically to couples that use sex in more creative ways that what the human body is naturally equipped for, or couples where women seek the upper hand and wish to be in control at all times, for the exact reason that it is a huge minority. Almost universally, women prefer men who are larger and more dominant in relation to themselves. When women select their mates the seek men who they can respect, and part of this is directly related to his status. When women, and men for that matter, lack respect for their partner, it has a directly influences on their level of happiness and the amount of conflict they endure in their relationships.

The "hands on hips" or hands "akimbo" make men appear larger and more dominant and therefore more sexually attractive.

The “hands on hips” or hands “akimbo” make men appear larger and more dominant and therefore more sexually attractive.

Body size differences between the sexes are a good indicator of how we come together. The average man is universally larger and more muscular than the average woman, which gives us predictive powers of how men and women come together. Nearly in all cases, women choose men who are larger and taller than them, and the research shows this. People are not alone in the sexual dichotomy, as many other species where the male is larger on average come together similarly. In a solid relationship each party is submitting to the needs and desires of the other, which naturally leads into a perpetual negotiation. However, during the initial stages of intimacy, it is the woman who is nearly universally required to submit for sexual intimacy to develop. It is my contention that men require women to submit through their ego and preference, and women crave it in order to set off a visceral response that eventually produces within them a desire to have sex or submit. If men and women can’t get over this initial stage of negotiation, no long term relationship will follow and no partnership, equal or unequal will follow. Therefore, accept it or not, men prefer women that show submissive postures, and as mentioned, I believe that women if allowed to, actually enjoy the submissive process, no matter how archaic it sounds. In other words, there’s nothing sexier to a women than “being swept her off her feet.”

Some of the most common ways to display submissively includes turning the toes in called pigeon toes or “tibial torsion”, shoulder shrugs, exposing the neck or wrists, head tilt, smiling, the forehead bow and childlike playfulness. The second class of signals relates to making a women appear sexier and playing up her sexual aspects. Some of those signals include tossing the hair, tilting the pelvis, the parade, the room encompassing glance, grooming and preening, the leg twine (where the legs are tightly pressed together) and leg crossing, hiking the skirt and or dressing provocatively. The third way to indicate interest are proximity related such as moving closer, pointing and eye contact which is figurative closeness, touching and crossing the legs toward rather than away. The remaining signals are rapport building and are the ones we find most obvious, although as they relate to interest, aren’t as significant. These signals include verbal contact and are less significant because by this time we usually know things are going well, and that interest is present. Echoing and mirroring is also part of sexual body language and is known within this category as “the nonverbal mating dance.” Now that we have cues in loose categories, we can look at them in more detail.

Why Our Pets Look Like Our Kids And Couples Like Each Other

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

Why is it that married men and women look similar to each other? Do we subconsciously choose partners that look like us, or is something else at play? You probably at least suspect by now that some element of body language is involved, and you’d be right. A 1987 study by Zajonc and colleagues from the University of Michigan set out to discover if couples really to look alike and why this is so. They had subjects compare photographs of married couples when they were first married to photographs after twenty-five years of marriage. The results showed that there was an obvious similarity within couples, that is, they looked alike, and it was also found that couples that had greater facial similarity tended to report greater happiness.

When couples live together they begin to look alike, and this trend happens over time, as the researchers discovered, since new couples had less facial similarity than did older couples. This was explained due to the tendency to mirror one another and empathize with our partners emotions. This causes facial musculature to become increasingly more toned in similar areas as our partners. It is these expressions that create wrinkles in specific patterns around the eyes, mouth and forehead, which in turn carve our faces into ones that mirror our spouse. With time, the even the root facial expressions become the norm for each and happen with or without the spouse being present. This phenomenon isn’t isolated to our spouses, it can be found in our children, or anyone else that spend a great of time with us. It has been said that our personality is the average of the five people we spend the most time with. Perhaps this also extends to our facial expressions! Mirroring is a very profound force in our lives and we should note and correct our bad habits in our expressions. When greeting your spouse, or children do you smile gleefully or is your face expressionless or worse, does it scowl?

The appearance of our pets is an entirely different matter since animals have very restricted ability to move their faces and the emotions they experience don’t come across to us in the same way that it does with people. So why is it that our pets look like us, but more so like our children? The answer lies in neoteny, for one, and secondly due to selection preference. Pets through extensive breeding tend to have more neotenized features. For example, their eyes are often droopy, their tails and ears lay flat instead of standing erect and they have soft fuzzy fur. Dogs through eons of artificial selection pressure have retained only a select few traits of their wolf ancestors especially in its adult form. Humans much prefer dogs that appear “cute”, play fetch, leap and bound, and wrestle to dogs that attack and kill prey. It should be noted though, that some masters do relate to this type of animal and adopt similar pets. Neoteny explains why dogs look like children, and our interests, purpose, or intention for the dog selects the breed while our own physical appearance influences which dog breed we eventually choose. In other words, we choose dogs in our own unique image and likeness because we relate to them. This is why we find aggressive tattooed owners with pitbulls, dainty pink-loving celebrities with toy dogs or “tea cups” and why tall skinny people choose bigger lengthy dogs like greyhounds.

How Can We Tell If An Emotion Is Faked?

by  • March 6, 2013 • 1 Comment

The uneven smile. This one is a fake!

The uneven smile. This one is a fake!

Being able to tell the difference between real emotions and the body language that follows is a very useful skill in reading people. Being able to detect fake emotions can help us decide who we can trust and who is actually in agreement with us, versus those who are simply faking it. Liars and their body language are covered more extensively later in the book, so it is of no direct concern here. Rather, here we present rules of thumb that help us decide if facial expressions and emotions such as fear, sadness, happiness, shame, guilt and disgust are real and genuine or feigned. Emotional fakery of sadness is used to generate sympathy in order to gain various resources, and fake sadness is used to generate leniency and therefore receive help in the form of favours. Being able to detect real from fake is a useful skill because it gives the body language reader the power to decide what course of action is merited.

So how can we tell if a facial expression is fake versus real? While body language readers can never really know for certain, the face does subconsciously give us some clues that it’s not being honest. For example, a fake emotion is one where there are symmetrical differences between the right and left side of the face. That is, when the left and right side don’t match. A smiling face, where the smile is uneven is a perfect example of a false smile and one that was covered in great detail earlier. The second telltale sign of a fake expression is when it appears and disappears in a jerky, non-fluid manner. This tells us there is doubt and uncertainty. The third cue that an emotion is faked has to do with eye movements and directions. Looking downward and away indicates shame, guilt or disgust, looking down indicates sadness. The final way to detect false emotions is by catching those that seem to be held for too long, or seem over-exaggerated. Expressions that are so big that they are “over-the-top” or seem “out of this world” and don’t flow with context or match timing expectations, meaning they don’t go with what is being said, are more than likely fake.

The fear facial expression.

The fear facial expression.

Sadness.

Sadness.

Other times, emotions are difficult to decipher. For example, when the eyebrows go up, they sometimes indicate fear, but other times they are raised to indicate surprise. Fear is usually shown by showing the whites of the eyes, raising the upper eyelids, raising the inner brow and tightening the eyelid. However it is important to note that raising the inner brow can show sadness, lowering the brow can show anger or mental effort and tightening the eyelid can show anger or disgust.

 

Anger

Anger

Disgust.

Disgust.

Some expressions are only seen very rarely, which is the case with the more extreme expressions making them difficult to study. These facial expressions also happen very quickly, so it’s not always easy to spot them. Usually the expressions are encoded by the viewer in large part to the context in which we find them. For example, jumping out of the bushes and yelling at someone is bound to create a surprised look, but can you decide if a face absent of context shows fear or surprise, what about sadness? It’s not always that easy, but absent of slow motion photography and mind reading, the rules of thumb covered here can make the process simpler and more manageable.

Gravity Defying Body Language

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

A convenient and accurate way to read someone’s level of happiness is to look for what is called “gravity defying” body language. This is any gestures that makes it seem as if a person is floating on air. We can also call these gestures of exuberance where energy is seemingly in no short supply, being expended just for its own sake. Children will walk excitedly by bouncing up and down on their way to see grandparents or to the town fair, and will sometimes even grab our hands so as to be swung to catch even more air. When we see people with a “Bounce in their step” what we really are seeing is happiness through body language as a person walks on the balls of their feet or when their arms swing confidently at their sides.

When hockey players score a goal, they will immediately throw their hands into the air. The stick is usually thrust upward in concert to defy gravity even more. Alexander Ovetchikin attained part of his fame for his elaborate celebration displays by tossing himself against the hockey rink glass. Bobby Orr’s superman dive after scoring the goal to win the Stanley cup in 1970 is one of the most recognizable images in hockey history. He personified gravity defying body language. Fist pumping is another common, yet much more subdued way to show happiness when we’ve succeeded at something and football has no shortage of exuberant dance moves after scoring a touch-down.

Another gesture that is more commonplace in everyday life happens by when either a toe is raised pointing upward while in a standing position with the weight on the back foot, or the while seated where the toe is facing down, but the heel is upward. Both gestures are gravity defying and signal that good things are happening. While standing, a person might rock back and forth on the balls of the feet or seem to stand taller, more confident and more animated. When people are happy their arms are used more to gesticulate during speech. Gravity defying gestures are rarely faked since they mostly go under the radar and someone in a bad mood usually wouldn’t think of, or be able to hold the gestures for any length of time. Interestingly, those with clinical depression are rarely seen doing these sorts of gestures, instead their shoulders seem to slump and their arms do no more than hang at their sides. Those that are insecure seem to let the weight of life keep them down and pin their arms to their sides.

Clenching And Gripping

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

Fists into a ball is a classic expression of discomfort. The natural position for the hands is loose and relaxed, so when they ball-up, we know something is creating negative emotions.

Fists into a ball is a classic expression of discomfort. The natural position for the hands is loose and relaxed, so when they ball-up, we know something is creating negative emotions.  A smile, in this case, indicates stress, not happiness.

Clenching and gripping are signals of frustration and restraint. They are very different then the relaxed palm in palm gesture discussed in a previous chapter. A classic gripping posture happens when the hand opposite reaches behind the back and grabs the wrist of the opposite arm. We know it shows frustration because it serves to relieve tension through gripping, an energy displacement mechanism, and serves to show restraint because the hand is gripping the arm in effort to prevent them from striking out against another person.

Gripping, especially intensely, helps us feel more relaxed because the pain releases pleasure hormones and adrenaline. The same could be achieved through more constructive mechanisms like running, exercise, or constructing something useful, but like all forms of body language, the solutions come from an archaic part of the brain through evolution (or accident), so we are not interested in doing constructive work at a time when our minds are dealing with stress. In other words, we just want a quick, immediate fix for the anxiety, and wringing the hands helps sooth and pacifies us without having to leave the area. Most minds deal poorly with stress and can’t function normally without dealing with the source, so the last thing we want to do is leave the area in which the problem has arisen without a solution. Wringing the hands is a gesture that is seen in people the world over. At times the fingers may become interlaced appearing as if in prayer, which might even be the case. Pressure can be so great that the fingers can even blanch as blood flow is impeded.

Extreme anxiety causes the desire to control the pain by inflicting it against ourselves. It gives back our sense of control over our anxiety. People who resort to 'cutting' also seek to displace their anxiety and control it.

Extreme anxiety causes the desire to control the pain by inflicting it against ourselves. It gives back our sense of control over our anxiety. People who resort to ‘cutting’ also seek to displace their anxiety and control it.

Pacing is a classic full-blown signal of anxiety, and falls into the same energy displacement category because it gives us something to do and burns extra calories in a trickle to make us feel more relaxed. Clenching and gripping are ways of signaling that a negative thought or emotion is being held back. A more intense hand gripping posture happens when the arm grips higher up near the elbow or upper arm. The higher the grip, the more frustration is present and the more self control is expressing. Clenching and gripping postures occur anytime stress and anger is present, such as waiting to see a doctor or dentist, awaiting bad news, or during conflict.

Another form of clenching that shows emotional restraint happens with the hands in a raised position instead of being hidden behind the back. This form of clenching appears as if the hands are being rung out by each other, as we would a wet article of clothing. Smiling does not negate the gesture either, and even alludes to a greater than normal tension. Smiles when accompanied by wringing, are called “stress smiles” or grimacing. The hands can be held in front of the face, resting on the desk or lap or when standing, in front of the crotch, but once again, the higher the clenching appears the more prevalent and obvious is the tension.

Hand wringing allows us to 'control' our pain and discomfort - it gives us an outlet.

Hand wringing allows us to ‘control’ our pain and discomfort – it gives us an outlet.

The hands and feet are key places to verify anxiety and will be the usual suspects in betraying emotions. They move easily and freely from the rest of the body and can be used to burn energy and release stress anxiety without requiring the body to move large distances. Because they can be moved independent of the body, they also tend to leak information more readily. Therefore, to read anxiety carefully watch for tapping toes or fingers, or feet that move frequently or never seem to find a comfortable position as well as any other repetitive behaviours. Foot movements will show more restraint than hand movements especially if someone is trying to hide their fears from others.

Jaw clenching.

Jaw clenching.

Clenching and gripping can have many other forms as well, including clenching the jaws tight or even talking through the teeth, cracking knuckles, pulling the hair or even plucking it, pinching one’s self, and clenching the fists by turning them into a ball. In my observations of other people, I have noticed some peculiar emotional behaviour that includes the grotesque such as squeezing pimples to plucking nose hairs to more damaging and extreme behaviours such as hitting the head and scratching called “self harm” but can include any other painful and repetitive behaviours serving to sooth emotional stress.

The more astute will notice tension from something so minor that most won’t even notice, and the carrier of which, will have no conscious awareness. That is, sitting in an awkward position, or rather, sitting in a less than fully relaxed position. This cue tells us that they won’t and can’t permit themselves to take on a more relaxed position because they should be doing something else more pressing or useful. Perhaps watching television isn’t of highest priority when one weighs the importance of a report or an essay for school, that the house needs tending to, or family time has been ignored. Notice a fully relaxed position for a person over time, and then note when they aren’t holding it, then you’ll know something isn’t right in their minds! Identify the pattern, call them out on it, and then look like a genious!

Where Do Smiles Come From?

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

The polite smile is used with people we only know in passing or not at all. The teeth are shown and the lips are curved upward modestly.

The polite smile is used with people we only know in passing or not at all. The teeth are shown and the lips are curved upward modestly.

Research on smiles has been a hot topic since its one of the facial features that is so prominent and important day-to-day. But what purpose do facial expressions serve overall if only to make others aware of our inner thoughts and feelings and perhaps betray us to our enemies? Surely our expressions could be used against us, for the benefit of others, especially given the fact that we often paint our faces with emotion easily and sometimes with abandon.

One theory says that facial expressions are a bit of a chicken and the egg type of situation where it is the expressions we make that in fact control our moods, rather than having our moods influence our expressions. In other words it might be that we give off facial expressions not because we feel happier, but because it helps us to feel happy. This implies that facial expressions are more gear to help those that hold them instead of those who view them and that smiling rather than indicate happiness actually creates happiness. Some of the research does tend to support this finding. When subjects were asked to fake smiles in research studies they tended to be more able to hold positive emotions rather than negative emotions so it seems that our minds are emotionally hardwired to mirror expressions that show up on our face.

We can see how a fearful expression might evolve into a full grin in this image.

We can see how a fearful expression might evolve into a full grin in this image.

Many biologists think smiles have roots as a fearful gesture, as a sort of “fear grin.”  Today though, human smiles are a universally submissive gesture but they can also symbolize pleasure, amusement, aggression, or anxiety (grimace). These other emotions never truly supersede the most common purpose of the smile which is to show submission. We will see this occur over and over again as it applies to smiling. Even pleasure must happen with or around people we feel we can submit to. Smiles are our way we to show that we are non-threatening and wish to maintain peace.

Chimpanzees, like humans have two common sets of smiles. One is a playful smile and the other is an aggressive smile. Humans, when aggressive, will display with a smile by pushing forward their lower lip and baring their lower teeth. This is turn induces either an appeasement or submissive smile in our counterparts or more aggressive body language possibly leading to a battle.

A genuine smile puts us at ease and builds trust.

A genuine smile puts us at ease and builds trust.

A friendly smile, on the other hand, occurs by pulling the corners of the mouth upward which may or may not include crow’s feet as we have seen. Those that lack smiles altogether or who smile infrequently are much more dominant and want to be seen as such. The grimace happens in situations where one is forced to talk or debate under a stressful situation. You will find that this sly face appears almost universally even though no pleasure is felt. The grimace is a disarming gesture meant to appease others, but it usually comes off as insincere and smug. We will see this face under high stress situations. To see this face authentically, pay close attention while watching courtroom television shows. Usually the defendant who is under stress will seem to beam with light from their teeth. The judge will often see him or her as being defiant, and often requests for them to remove their smug look whereas, in fact, no smugness is present at all. In this context a big smile is linked to stress from outside forces, and does not indicate either happiness or smugness. Regardless of the meaning of the specific smile, researchers have concluded that the smile is innate and not learned since even people born blind smile to display happiness.

Negative Body Language Is Usually More Honest

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

It looks like the conversation is going well, but the arms are being gripped showing negative thoughts.

It looks like the conversation is going well, but she is gripping her arms showing negative thoughts.

When reading people we often get mixed messages. People’s faces appear genuine and honest, they show concern, fear, disgust, or happiness but their bodies sometimes show something else altogether. So how should we handle detecting different messages emanating from various parts of the body at the same time? Because people often “put on a mask” as they walk through life, and because we spend so much time focusing on the face, we learn early on to control our facial expressions. This makes the face a particularly bad place to rely on when really trying to weed through mixed signals. What if the “honest feet” as just discussed, conflict with messages delivered by the arms, hands and legs? Should we just rely on the feet and concentrate on nothing else, or is there some rhyme to the reason? In actual fact there is a class of body language that is much more reliable than another, and it has to do with the intended meaning of the message rather than specific cues or body parts. Given the choice between “positive” and “negative” messages, we should always rely on the negative nonverbal body language first. This is true irrespective of where it is found, be it in the face, arms, hands, legs, feet, torso or whatever.

It is negative body language that tells us a person’s true thoughts because society requires people to act positively even when things aren’t going well. We are told throughout our life to “Turn that frown upside down”, “Wipe that look off our faces” and “Smile for the camera” even when positive thoughts are the furthest from our mind. Eventually, we get very good at masking negative emotions especially in our faces, yet deep down the subconscious mind leaks other negative body language from various parts of our body. Negative body language happens precisely because we don’t want it to happen; we don’t want people to know we are upset, scared, bored, timid or in disagreement. These negative feelings can be damaging to ourselves or to others around us so we generally mask them to keep them to ourselves. In the long run, positive body language is desirable so it is quickly learned, and then brushed over the canvas of our faces, while the underlying negativity just barely shows through. We mask negative body language so we don’t appear rude or insensitive or even frail, scared or at a disadvantage.

Does he really want to leave? In most cases negative body language is truthful, but he's playing a game - hard-to-get!

Does he really want to leave? In most cases negative body language is truthful, but he’s playing a game – hard-to-get!

You can imagine that someone who is bored with us will still smile and nod during our conversation, yet their body will orient toward the doorway while making covert looks to their wrist watch. Obviously, it is the negative language that is telling us that they are bored and we should ignore the facial cover-up that is going on. Likewise, happiness cues mixed with cues of anxiety such as gripping the arms or hands tightly indicates that a person is probably more unhappy and stressed rather than the reverse. What do we make of a person who enthusiastically leans forward putting out his hand to shake, then clenches his jaw tightly while saying how nice it is to finally be united once again? Chances are pretty good that your long lost friend has some negative issues with you and that he’s not so happy to be in your presence. Along with negative nonverbal body language as true honest indicators of feelings, recall initial reactions, over reactions that follow, as more genuine. Honest gestures happen quickly, sometimes even so fast that they are barely observable with the naked eye, but it is these flashes, or “microexpressions”, that mean something predictive, much more so than more obvious gestures that happen later on, or those that linger for some time. A small twitch of the muscles between the eyes, the “fear muscle” forces the eyebrows together to make a grin-like gesture that reveals a true sentiment. This expression happens so fast, it is impossible to stifle. When we get a sense of someone whom we find isn’t “just right” and fail to trust them, it is these expressions that happen very fast that we are sensing.

Only keen observation of the whole body, with emphasis on facial expressions will catch this type of honest expression. Thus, the rule of thumb is to discount positive body language when it accompanies negative body language, and be sure to catch negative body language especially if it happens first or flashes quickly. Quick body language happens by accident, but body language that lingers happens because people want us to see it!

Virtual Body Language

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

The original emoticon for happiness. It's called a SMILE! :)

The original emoticon for happiness. It’s called a SMILE! 🙂

Dr. Yee and his colleagues conducted research out of Stanford University in 2007 into the online gaming industry. He revealed some interesting findings as they apply to massive role playing games such as “Second Life.” In these games, users create personalized characters and interact with other players in a rule-free environment. Characters are free to interact as they please, have houses, automobiles, jobs and attend social gatherings. There are no set parameters to these interactive games yet Dr. Yee found that users still followed set non-verbal rules. That is, male characters tended to hold larger distances between other males and females tended to hold less distance between themselves and other females. Male characters also maintained less eye contact with other males whereas females did not. His research also draws attention to other social norms such as avoiding interactions with more eccentric characters. In one case, it was a naked character in a city park setting.

It seems therefore that non-verbal body language norms are so engrained in us through our culture and genetics that we bring these into environments that aren’t even real showing that body language is potent and ubiquitous!