Tag Archive for Good Fun

The Power Of Chairs

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

When my brother comes over to visit he likes to play chair games with me since he’s aware, through my research, of the power plays afforded by such a seemingly innocuous objects. He often chooses the head of the table or the most desirable position on the sofa, and if possible, will secure the tallest chair. He’s already a bit taller than me and he knows that while seated he looses his advantage making it even more important to claim the higher chair lest he lose his height advantage. My computer chair allows one to raise and lower it, so as fast as it can be adjusted it’s at its peek, allowing him to look down on me. These games are all in good fun of course, as we both understand the implications. However, while we play these games in fun, others might not, they may use them to intimidate or gain power over you and if you are interested, you over them.

To level the playing field it is important to limit the presence of chairs that can be raised or lowered just in case you don’t arrive early enough to gain access to them. Chairs that swivel also hold more power because they can face in infinite directions. The most punishing chairs, which are used by interrogators are those that are fixed to the floor, usually placed in the center of a room away from any shelter. When the idea is to gain quick authority, job interviewers can also employ this tactic. Because you can’t swivel, you must adjust your entire body position to orient yourself toward anything of interest. Should someone enter the room, you’ll either be forced to keep your back to them or will have to lean to one side to look. Regardless, you are at a disadvantage. Chairs that also give more power are those with higher backs. Kings and queens sit in tall chairs because they understood the powers it gave them. The peasants were lucky to get a chair at all, and a stool is was plenty for the layman. Think about what types of chairs are present at fast food places and their effect on us. Usually they will be rock hard and prevent us getting comfortable by leaning back with their metal backs designed specifically to reduce our stay. What effect would this type of seating have on a competitor in business or an in-law we wished to enjoy only a brief visit?

To disarm or punish people, use soft seating such as a sofa that when pressure is added practically envelopes your opponent. This reduces their ability to use gestures in communication and to move about the room because getting up from a sunken position is more difficult than an upright on. Also make sure this chair is lower than normal helping you establish dominance, and if it has arms, even better, as this too will limit their movement.

Put-Down Humour

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

Even when we laugh at the expense of others and their misfortunes we create togetherness and solidarity. Putdown humour is any humour that derives amusement at the expense of others. It can be demeaning jokes, teasing, sarcasm or even self-deprecating remarks. While putdowns can be effective to build bonds and friendship there exists certain rules of engagement. For example, a putdown must be within a friendly framework and we must follow certain agreed upon rules. Taking putdown humour too far can be hurtful, and particularly harsh putdowns can be used to elevate ourselves at the target’s expense, or equally, we too we can become victim of putdowns. For example, in a study by Susan Martin in 1978 out of American University it was shown that police officers who use putdown humour against female officers tended to use it because they felt uncomfortable with the notion of having females in a male dominated workplace. However, humour among, say men at a weekly poker night can foster belonging. Overall, men will use putdown humour more often than women and also tend to expect it. Practical jokes work similarly, and sporting teams frequently use pranks to welcome new members.

The real key is to avoid hitting on truisms about a person that can be hurtful. Making fun of someone for being ugly when in fact it is well known that they are confident beauty pageant winner or making fun of a sprinter for being slow, is in good fun, and will be well received. However, poking fun at someone who is rigid or uptight, by including this trait in a joke, it is sure to offend them and while it might have a leveling effect between two people, it serves no unifying characteristics. In fact, the only result likely is to outline key differences between people and help others see this disagreement making everyone involved look bad. Harsh putdowns only serve to disassociate a person from others.

Dr. Terrion of the University of Ottawa who followed a group of police officers through training found that the development of putdowns followed a rough pattern of progression from putting down oneself, to putdowns of shared identities or groups, to putdowns of external groups and finally to putdowns of each other within a group. She also found that officers tended to putdown members of the group that had higher status, and members tended to poke the most fun at others whom they liked most and that using putdowns when members were absent was seen as backstabbing so was frowned upon. One of the cardinal rules of putdown humour, is to only poke fun at people who are present. The study also showed that members that are willing to laugh at themselves tended to be taken into the group more readily. Laughing at oneself shows others that we see ourselves as equals and shows that we can be trusted. Another general putdown rule follows that members that don’t take well to putdowns shouldn’t be targets because it tends to elicit an uncomfortable feeling within the rest of the group.

Putdown humour, when it is framed properly, indicates belongingness and also a desire by others to welcome someone in given that all the rules are properly followed. Conversely, a lack of inclusion into humour, even putdowns, can alienate us just as much as particularly negative humour. The next time someone pokes fun, roll with it and either laugh heartily or joke back, as humour can help break down boundaries and create inclusiveness.