Tag Archive for Gestures

Summary – Chapter 8

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This chapter was focused on dominant and submissive gestures and how they can be used to reach specific goals depending on the situation. One of those goals was conflict avoidance by reducing body size. We found that melting into the background by “sinking in the chair” or pulling the arms inward, pulling the shoulders down and rounding them, hunching in, pulling the chin in and pulling the legs or knees closer together can help to send a non-threatening signal and calm an attacker. Next we looked at how height relates to dominance and spelled out tactics to put ourselves at an advantage be it by taking up a seated position (to level ourselves) or taking to an elevated stage or position. We saw in this chapter that relaxed body language signals ownership and confidence so we should look for a lack of muscle tension, freely moving hands, feet and torso, along with open body postures, to read which people are most confident.

We also found that the head signals nonverbally, for example, the headshake signals a negative thought, whereas the head nod can mean agreement such as in the west or can mean submission or even that a speaker is being heard in Japan, head down represents judgment or a negative thought when accompanied by similar cues in cluster, head tilted shows interest and head back means disapproval.

We discovered that dominant positions are generally also considered open postures and submissive postures are also usually considered closed postures. This theory allowed us to conclude that the chair straddler was both opened and therefore dominant, but also cowardly because the back of the chair formed a barrier from where he or she might throw figurative arrows or spears. We found that legs spread is a dominant gesture and of degree; the greater the spread the more dominant and at some point outright offensive, as in the case of having the leg over the arm of a chair. The full body steeple where both hands are up and behind the head while seated with or without the figure-four leg cross is both confident and dominant, but also depicts a relaxed disposition. We covered that titling backwards in the chair is dominant and casual, having the hands on hips is to imitate a peacock and appear larger and more attractive dominant or in charge, and that the cowboy pose with thumbs in belt loops popularized by old western’s is macho. We learned that the military man who exposes his torso with his hands, palm in palm to his back delineates power.

We then covered the importance of thumbs and how they show importance and superiority, how fences make great neighbours, and methods we display ownership one of which is by breaking social rules or via body language through control of facial expressions. We found that touching between men symbolizes power plays and social jostling, but between men and women, usually signifies sexual interest and that light touching helps gain compliance even from strangers. We also outlined why we should avoid filling our language with junk instead of simply punctuating a point, how talking fast makes us appear insecure or nervous unlike Barack Obama and how low-pitched masculine voices increased ratings of men’s physical and social dominance.

What Does Thumbing Indicate?

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Exposed thumbs indicate high confidence. When we feel insecure we tuck our thumbs out of view.

Exposed thumbs indicate high confidence. When we feel insecure we tuck our thumbs out of view.

In Shakespeare’s Romen and Juliet, Capulet’s servant Sampson induces a fight by biting his thumb at Montague’s servant Abraham. This traditional Sicilian gesture is performed today by placing the thumb behind the upper incisors and flicking the thumb forward toward the person you wish to insult. The symbol means “To hell with you.” The thumbs down gesture would have meant death in Roman times for a gladiator, while the thumbs shooting off to the side is associated with a negative thought about someone we wish not to offer respect. It begins or ends a conversation such as “I told you about that guy over there (followed by thumbing in their direction) …he’s up to no good.” However, not all thumb gestures are negative as we see with the thumbs up gesture in western cultures.

BodyLanguageProjectCom - Thumb Displays Or Thumbing 4Thumb displays denote superiority and royalty has made them famous, but they have also been adopted by lawyers trying to seem noble and important. One way thumb displays happen is by placing all but the thumbs in the front pockets of a vest or suite jacket, or by knuckling the vest and leaving the thumbs out. Thumbs-up can also turn a timid interlaced fingers gesture into a positive thoughts gesture by flaring the thumbs up during conversation. Thumbs-out is a representation of ego, dominance, confidence, comfort, assertiveness and sometimes even aggressiveness. The thumbs out gesture is usually found in clusters with other dominant body language. For example, to denote superiority, the legs would also be spread apart, the chest puffed out to appear larger and the head held back, all the while glaring down the nose at any onlookers. The thumbs up gesture, wherever it happens, is a form of “gravity defying’ body language. This means that it is related to positive emotions since it requires energy to do and people that are depressed aren’t interested in burning energy especially wastefully.

We rarely see those with low status carry this posture, but if we do, we certainly will know something “important” about them! Sometimes our boss will be caught walking around his office holding this posture signifying his dominance, or at least his attempt at dominance. Men seeking the affection and attention of women will also sometimes carry thumbing postures, but they might downplay their dominant attitude by holding their hands in their back pockets so as to hide them. Another variation altogether includes flaunting the thumbs by placing them under the arm whilst folded. This last posture is a closed, yet dominant cue cluster. The crossed arms tell others that they are closed off from communication while the exposed thumbs reveal superiority.

The polar opposite to the thumb display is hidden thumbs which may happen by placing just the thumbs in front pockets with the remaining fingers outside. This posture says “I’m unsure of myself” and denotes extreme low confidence and low status. Hidden thumbs can be found when people are timid, insecure, or feel social discomfort and is a childhood throwback to when children stand in front of their parents looking disappointed and saddened.

Head Nod And Bobble

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The head nod in western cultures says agreement. In other cultures such as in Bulgaria and Sri Lanka it means disagreement, although from studies of the deaf and blind, it is apparent that this gesture is also innate. The nod used as a greeting, performed as a quick drop of the head, may stem from an abbreviated head bow. As we learned, lowering the body signifies a submissive posture, and so too does agreement. In Japan the head nod usually signals to the speaker that they are being heard and doesn’t necessarily indicate agreement. Thus, head nods are particularly specific to cultures so caution is important.

The head bobble, which is a side to side motion across an arc also means different things to different cultures. For example, in East Slavic it means disapproval and in India it means “okay”. In Bulgaria, India and Pakistan the head bobble means “yes.” Other gestures by the head can include the chin point, in the West, which is a slick way of pointing out other girls to your buddy without getting caught. Sometimes the chin point is used as a greeting between friends as an informal acknowledgement of each other’s presence. In Greece, Turkey and Arabic-speaking countries pulling the head back in a jerking motion signals “no” but in Ethiopia it actually means “yes.”

Introduction – Chapter 8

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Dominant and submissive gestures are polar opposites, both by definition, and in terms of the body language that is used to indicate it. For example, appearing larger by throwing an arm over the back of the chair and spreading the legs opened is dominant whereas appearing smaller by pulling the limbs inward or hunching the back is submissive. This phenomenon is a good rule of thumb so keep it in mind while reading this chapter and the people around you.

In this chapter we will cover an encyclopedia of signs and signals that display status. By the end you will see how dominance and submissiveness are a common theme in people. So much of what people do is as a direct consequence of an unevenly divided resource base and how we all fit into society’s hierarchy. Dominance and the body language that showcases it, is how we decide who has rights over whom without resorting to physical conflict. Naturally, this chapter also provides methods by which status can be artificially raised simply by employing suitable body language.

In this chapter we will cover, amongst many others, how our environment can be manipulated to gain the advantage such as the status achieved by the judge in his highchair, how relaxed body postures can show dominance, how the head talks even when our mouths are not moving, how the chair straddler is a coward, how women will appear easy if they spread their legs whereas men will appear more masculine, how tilting far back in the chair is dangerous and not just because you might fall, how having the hands on the hips means more than disapproval and how military men leave their bodies exposed to attack on purpose.

How We Sequence The Letting Of Our Guard

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Initially when people meet there is apprehension. In today’s day and age this attitude is vestigial since most people are agreeable and sociable. It wasn’t always like this as our evolutionary past is full of treachery. Two strangers meeting on foreign territory could have meant war, violence or theft. For women, the consequences could have been worse and include rape and kidnapping.

Holding a defensive posture, therefore, is a natural innate disposition and when people meet we should expect them to hold indications of timidity, at least initially. When two low ranking individuals meet they would naturally hold at least one posture that indicates that they are closed or protective. Having their arms or legs crossed at the ankles are two of the more common gestures. Those with higher rank will naturally express fewer closed postures initially when compared to those of lower rank. By the way, while we might feel rank in society is of no consequence, this couldn’t be further from the truth. As we are a capitalist society we are all more than aware of our relative standing in the world so our rank is well known to us.

Even children understand they rank low in the hierarchy of the world. However, in new environments it’s normal for even adult bodies to tense up and show certain levels of awkwardness. When two strangers meet, they will have their arms folded across their chest or perhaps in a pocket and their legs will be crossed at the ankle. This depends entirely on their level of comfort related to the novelty of the environment and their perceived status in relation to the other people present.

As the discussion continues between stranger, the feet are most likely the first to separate and uncross at the ankle, which will then be placed “at attention”, meaning together separated by a few inches and on the same plane. This will occur in unison with common dialogue, if no such rapport is built, the conversation can turn even more awkward and the bodies may tense and seek methods to exit the conversation.

Next, the arms will become more animated and be used to colour their language, essentially losing their rigidity. The palms will be made more visible and be flashed palm-up in conversation showing honesty and openness. Next, the arms will remain uncrossed and become more active in the conversation showing comfort, be placed in pockets showing some residual reservation or be placed on the hips showing dominance if one or the other discovers they have a higher status. Next, and if general agreement is established, one foot might be extended toward the other person rather than an exit.

If one person fails to open up, usually both wont, as mirroring each other is also part of the natural process. In rare occasions, one person will open up, and the other will not, showing one-way agreement or that one person is generally more open minded and easy to please than the and the other. Finally, the distance between the two might be reduced by taking a step forward, or brief touching might take place in safe zones such as the forearm or elbow.

The Meaning Behind Arm Crossing

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Depending on the context, arm crossing might mean someone is physically cold - or emotionally cold.

Depending on the context, arm crossing might mean someone is physically cold – or emotionally cold.

Arms in the non-verbal world are shields. Folding the arms across the body is like cutting off access to our core that houses our vital organs, our heart and lungs. Just like putting up a shield, the arms protect us, not only from physical attack which can elicit closed body language, but it also protects us from unwanted outside views which we do not agree with. Therefore, having the arms across the chest can mean that either a physical threat or emotional threat is present. Arms crossed, in meeting or conversation means that the person is defensive, negative, uncertain and insecure and naturally, what is being asked of them will be met with disagreement.

An abbreviated arm cross where the hand seems to perform a necessary task. In reality, this person feels uncomfortable and is shielding themselves.

An abbreviated arm cross where the hand seems to perform a necessary task. In reality, this person feels uncomfortable and is shielding themselves.

Arm crossing happens much more frequently in public than anywhere else. We especially see it in elevators, when exposed to a large group that makes us uncomfortable or when pitched a bad deal from a door-to-door salesman. When in public, arm crossing is due to the stress of being in a novel environment rather than due to holding negative thoughts per se. Women who are unreceptive to a pick-up at a bar or club will also be found holding this posture so as to maintain their personal space and thwart sexual advances.

As you read body language, you will eventually come across someone that tries to convince you that their closed language is a function of comfort, as in it just feels right, rather than as a tell to some underlying stress. However, arm crossing is one of the gestures that proves the body language rule rather than disproves it. The research makes it clear though, that we adopt positions because there is an underlying emotion attached to it and that this is the reason which makes the position comfortable and rather than the other way around. Body language feels right when we express underlying feelings because it provides us with a release. Conversely, if we wish to avoid closed body postures, or any bad postures for that matter, we must first attack and cure the root source of the emotion and then open posture will come naturally.

Arm crossing takes up various forms too besides the recognizable full arm cross. The more evident and strong the arm crossing, the more seeded the action is in the mind of the person executing it. As body language senders we should always try to hold opened and honest body language as a default condition as it will yield the best results under most circumstances.

Here are some examples:

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BodyLanguageProjectCom - Body Raising Or Elevation 3

A hidden arm cross showing disagreement and withdrawal.

A masked arm cross.

A masked arm cross.

[ONE] Resting one arm straight out onto the table to the front and placing the opposite hand on the wrist or forearm of the other [images show other variations of this posture].

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The coffee cup barrier - even drinks can fudge as a shield. To look open with a drink, simply drop the drink to your side or set it down to leave your body open.

The coffee cup barrier – even drinks can fudge as a shield. To appear open, simply drop the drink to your side or set it down.

[TWO] Holding a drink in one hand with the arm perpendicular to the body (parallel to the table) with or without applying weight to the arm [image shows other variation of this posture].

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The 'figure four leg' lock - note the leg forms the 4 shape with hands locking it in.

The ‘figure four leg’ lock – note the leg forms the 4 shape with hands locking it in.

Figure four leg lock.

Figure four leg lock.

[THREE] Crossing one leg over the knee of the other and holding the ankle to lock it in.

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A childhood throwback - making us feel held and protected.

A childhood throwback – making us feel held and protected.

It looks like the conversation is going well, but the arms are being gripped showing negative thoughts.

It looks like the conversation is going well, but the arms are being gripped showing negative thoughts.

[FOUR] Full self embrace where the arms are unlocked.

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A partial arm cross.

A partial arm cross.

BodyLanguageProjectCom - Incomplete Arm Crossing Or Incomplete Crossed Arms 3

Replicating Mom holding our arm and protecting us.

BodyLanguageProjectCom - Incomplete Arm Crossing Or Incomplete Crossed Arms 1

Another version of an arm cross for defense.

BodyLanguageProjectCom - Crossing 3

Cutting off ventral access is a closed body position.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[FIVE] The opposite hand reaches over the body to grab the elbow or shoulder of the opposite arm.

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Covert insecurity.

Covert insecurity.

BodyLanguageProjectCom - Incomplete Arm Crossing Or Incomplete Crossed Arms 4

It reminds us of Mom keeping us safe.

[SIX] Subtle arm crossing where the hand grabs the wrist of the opposite side.

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The arm crosses and seems to serve a supportive role.

The arm crosses and seems to serve a supportive role.

[SEVEN] The arm crosses and seems to serve a supportive role.

 

 

 

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Hand seems to alleviate an itch.

Hand seems to alleviate an itch.

[EIGHT] Hand seems to alleviate an itch.

 

 

 

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Good things are not on the horizon.

Good things are not on the horizon.

While most closed body language means that a negative attitude is present, context permitting, there exist varying degrees. For example, full arm crossing accompanied by expressionless faces, a tense, rigid, or hostile posture with limbs that appear frozen runs the gambit of rejection. Tentative closed body language where only some blocking is happening will show a semi-relaxed body language, possible boredom, a neutral face and moderate movement of the arms and hands. In the first case, where closed language is extreme, getting any kind of agreement is unlikely. The second set of postures says that there’s a possibility of forming an agreement. So rather than depicting “no”, some closed body language says “Maybe” or “I’ll think about it.”

The head titled at 45 degrees says that there's a chance to close this deal.

The head titled at 45 degrees says that there’s a chance to close this deal.

Opened and closed body language as we have seen is a matter of degree. Language that has no closed body positions says “yes” some closed means “maybe” and a lot means “no.” This is highly useful especially if you wish to sway a target. Men who wish to proposition women can read between the lines. If they see a half arm cross where one arm holds the elbow of the other, then he may still have a shot as she could just be timid. In this case, she is telling you that she is uneasy with your approach but might accept your proposal if you can present a better pitch. Because her mind isn’t completely made up it would be worthwhile to continue. But if she has a hostile expression, with arms tightly folded across her chest, with her head cocked to the side she probably isn’t willing to hear your pitch, so it would be a waste of time to continue. Reading negative body language can help us read employers as we look for pay raise, better deals on a watch or jewelry, getting permission from those in authority and generally gaining access to resources we ordinarily wouldn’t.

Be careful with the pressure you apply. You may be able to get a better deal from a used car salesmen, but when dealing with employees, an employer or a client, it’s probably best to keep body language open and inviting.

The Spear Throwing Pointer And Other Power Gestures

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Pointing makes your message more poignant, but only because the receiver is being figuratively jabbed by your spear.

Pointing makes your message more poignant, but only because the receiver is being figuratively jabbed by your spear.

The pointer is akin to a spear thrower. Every time they thrust their finger forward it is as if they are jabbing their ideas into the kidneys of their audience. Alternately, the finger can be used rhythmically in an up and down motion seemingly beating down upon their opponent trying to create submission. The finger pointer makes his appearance during aggressive verbal fights where the accuser is making strong personal attacks against the other. Very negative emotions are attached to such actions so it’s best to avoid this gesturing. Finger pointing puts the reflection and responsibility onto the listener, and for this reason, they attach negative connotations to the speaker. It creates defensive feelings in the listener and as it persists these defensive feelings grow into aggression. Parents will often use the pointing finger to scold children but adults will be far less tolerant of other’s authority especially those of equal status so it is unwise to exercise this gesture with abandon. Even more pronounced than the finger spear is the hammer fist where the hand is made into a ball serving to repeatedly “hammer” the speech into the listeners. The hammer fist shows conviction and determination, where neither might be present. When the fingers are curled lightly not quite making a fist, the intent is to show mild power and a desire to be taken seriously but lacking the conviction found in the hammer fist.

This gesture comes across less threatening and is more suited to making a point to an audience.

The “politicians gesture” comes across less threatening, and is more suited to making a point to an audience.

An alternate, and abbreviated form of the pointing figure, is the thumb in hand gesture where the thumb lies against the index finger and where the remaining fingers form a ball. The hand then motions as if pointing, and in a rhythmic motion, emphasize points with conviction. The thumb in hand gestures is the “politicians gesture” since it is frequently used by various Presidents and world leaders. The thumb in hand gesture is much less offensive than the pointing finger, but can appear smug when done by those of lower status. Speakers might also use the “OK” gesture which is done by placing the thumb against the index finger forming an opening with the remaining fingers flared out.
The thumb in hand and the OK signal are considered to be more thought provoking and honest than finger pointing and takes the responsibility back from the listeners and places it back on the speech. The OK signal rotated so the fingers face the audience, with the thumb inward, is used when we want to show precision and delicacy. Without being careful with the OK gesture it can appear as uncertainty as is the case when the thumb and index finger come close, but don’t quite touch. In this case, the gesture is more useful when posing questions rather than making statements.

Additional gestures:

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It was this big!

It was this big!

[A] The measurer. The hands are moved parallel to one another and juggled up and down as if measuring an object. This signals a desire to project thoughts onto others.

 

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Accepting the audience.

Accepting the audience.

[B] The finger spreader. The hands are held out and finger splayed apart facing palm to the audience. This is an attempt to make contact with the entire audience.

 

 

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The "offerer" wants to give you his thoughts and just doesn't understand your point of view.

The “offerer” wants to give you his thoughts and just doesn’t understand your point of view.

[C] The offered. The hands are palm up as if giving a gift. This is a beggar’s plea where agreement is desperately sought from the audience.

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Connecting with the audience.

Accept me as I accept you.

[D] The hugger. The arms are made into a circle in front of the body with the palms facing inward toward the speaker. The speaker wishes for the audience to accept his way of thinking or in other cases, the speaker is trying to grasp his own hypothesis.

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[E] The traffic cop. The hands are placed palm up in a stop motion. The speaker wishes the audience to settle or calm so they can continue.

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Rubbing The Hands Gestures

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Hand rubbing is a primitive throwback - we're cleaning our hands to get ready to receive.

Hand rubbing is a primitive throwback – we’re cleaning our hands to get ready to receive.

Rubbing the hands together is a universal signal meaning that someone is preparing to receive something. Rubbing the hands together is figuratively like washing or cleaning them so that whatever is about to be received is kept clean. The evolutionary origins likely stemmed from the giving and receiving of food where we would have wanted loose dirt to stay off our gift.

Hand rubbing today occurs just before closing a deal or a sale, when we win a prize or the expectation to win is present. There are variations in the degree of intensity to which this hand rubbing occurs, and this also provides us with information. For example, rubbing the hands slowly often comes across as devious when accompanied with a smug smile. A used car salesman will slowly rub his hands together as he cooks up a plan to pocket a larger commission for himself at your expense.

Slow hand rubbing usually means that good is coming to the sender of the message alone, whereas quick rubbing usually indicates mutual benefit. The slow hand rubber is diminishing and concealing his signal by slowing it down or even possibly hiding it, whereas the fast rubber is making his gesture more obvious with his hands in plain view, so both parties can share in the anticipation. A real estate agent, for example, might have two suitable properties for his client, however, one might yield a higher payout for him, while the other might be more suitable for his client. If hand rubbing slows while he shows one property over the other, he might just be telling everyone which he’d rather sell. It would then be up to the buyer to do his due diligence and be cautious about the agent’s motives. In summary, we should always be careful when people rub their hands when it implies that we might benefit others at our expense, and the slower, more concealed the rubbing occurs, the more we should be weary.

Introduction – Chapter 7

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Open body language creates comfort and welcomes people into our personal space.

Open body language creates comfort and welcomes people into our personal space.

Knowing the difference between open postures and closed postures is very important when trying to determine the thoughts, feelings and disposition of our targets. Open body language has been shown to be linked to openness of the mind where people are more likely to be receptive to outside view and having closed postures has been tied to having a closed mind or being unreceptive to new ideas. As in most cases with body language, there is a strong connection between the gestures we make and our emotions with each providing valuables clues to the other. In fact, it is often very difficult to separate the mind and the body language that leaks from it, even with conscious thought, which is especially true when it comes to primitive emotional language.

Openness can sometimes be confused with simply being relaxed or intense, and to some degree this is true. For example, being open often means that attire is also relaxed, shirt collars are unbuttoned, ties removed, the pants might hang loose and certain articles like jackets might be removed. Full openness, therefore, is not always acceptable. Conversely, we might look at being open as simply a lack of holding closed cues. That is, having open cues is the exact same as not displaying closed cues and is the default position of the two. Being closed requires a certain amount of tensing of muscles and therefore effort so the default of most people is having an open mind. In other words, people are open, unless they say otherwise! It follows that there are far fewer cues to symbolize openness as opposed to closed, since being open is more of a passive state.

Closed body language happens whenever a part of our body crosses the center-line. Arms are shields that protect our torso from harm.

Closed body language happens whenever a part of our body crosses the center-line. Arms are shields that protect our torso from harm.

Closed cues generally occur whenever a limb crosses the center line of the body. When a leg, for example, comes across the center of the body and locks with the opposite leg, or when the arms fully cross over one another, we have a closed posture. There are more subtle cues of closed body postures which will cover in the next pages but crossing the center-line of the body is one of the main themes. Open postures, on the other hand, are postures that maintain the center-line of the body free from obstruction from any limbs or objects.

When closed postures are combined with other closed postures, the signal intended is made more obvious. For example, leg crossing in combination with arm crossing is much more potent than either alone. Add to this an expressionless face, turning away, and one is left to assume that communication is not welcomed at any level. On the other hand, we might be faced with someone who has their legs crossed but the arms are opened and honest. In this case, we might assume that it is a deliberate and conscious attempt to appear relaxed, when in fact the person might not be relaxed at all. It might be the case too, that someone has mixed feelings and is reserved at one level, but open at another level. Reading opened and closed body language is tricky business, but all cues are additive. Cues of the same origin, happening together, serve to strengthen an open or closed reading, but so too does conflicting cues. Conflicting cues tell us that someone has an internal reservation, made obvious through their mixed message.

It is fortunate for those of us who wish to modify our body language, that we have control of our conscious mind, since we then can modify our body language as desired.
Of course, since de-linking of our bodies and minds is difficult, these changes bring about inherent change in our attitudes as well. For example, it’s fairly easy to consciously carry open postures, such as palms up, arms and legs uncrossed, and hold active eye contact, however holding these postures necessarily leeches back into us creating open feelings.

In this chapter we will examine the vast array of open and closed body positions that we can use to come across as more or less open, as we desire. Naturally too, we will be able to identify this same body language in other people and use it to our advantage when reading them.

Why Sometimes Eye Contact Is Bad

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A 2006 study by Stirling University psychologists found that children who were instructed to avoid eye contact while considering their response to a question had a seventy-two percent chance of answering correctly but only a fifty percent chance of answered correctly when they had not been told to look away. One of the theories advanced to explain this finding suggests that looking at human faces, which are complex and information rich, requires a lot of mental processing and that this might disrupt thinking. So next time you want a child (or anyone) to provide a correct answer, instead of forcing them to be polite and maintain eye contact, allow them the freedom to cast their gaze wherever it might fall so they can better process the information. The research shows that children were justified all along by avoiding eye contact when posed difficult questions.

Eye aversion during complex thought is just one example of why sometimes eye contact is bad. Another says that eye aversion controls hierarchy and many species of animals have evolved eye aversion as a function of appeasement gestures. Primates will use direct stares as part of their threat display which is a precursor to direct physical aggression. Averting the eyes altogether or looking down and away with brief glances in the direction of the aggressor can serve to eliminate an attack response. Eye aversion to reduce physical violence is to the benefit of both parties because it eliminates the chances of serious injury or even death. In most cases the aggressor, having received the signal that he is higher in the ranks, will stop in its tracks and turn away.

Eye aversion is a form of submission and submission is usually all that is desired from most attackers. Simply put, violence is often the byproduct of two individuals who refuse to heed each other’s dominance displays, and of which are naturally fairly evenly matched. When dominance displays include things like strutting, stretching, false charges, chest pounding and so forth can not definitively crown a winner, then the conflict is settled by physical contest. Obviously, the last description could apply to any one species of animals, but it could also apply to people. When neither person backs down, a fight ensues.

Children who avoid eye contact can also avoid being physically abused by other students, although it does nothing to eliminate the problem altogether. It has been said that the only true way to settle a bully down is to give them a bit of their own medicine. Bullies are always trying to pick easy fights to build up their dominance and so tend not to want to fight as much as one would be lead to think. Eye contact between humans and non-humans is also well documented. For example, young children who haven’t yet learned to avoid eye contact with dogs, tend to be attacked more often as the dog perceives the child as an aggressor. By most accounts it is recommended that people avoid direct eye contact when confronted by bears to avoid hostile encounters. Avoiding eye contact switches off the threat response and tells the bear that you do not wish to end the dispute with a physical contest.

In most animal species unwavering gaze is used to display dominance and aggression when it happens between members of the same species. When it happens across species it indicates that a prey has been centered out and the stalk has begun. Looking away and avoiding eye contact is a submissive cue and the least dominant is usually the first one to look away. Knowing this, you can easily test out your own dominance. Just pick a victim and stare directly into their eyes for an extended period of time. Whoever breaks first admits to lower rank. You will see that direct and piercing eye contact lasting any longer than five seconds will create an intense desire to look away. If you find it difficult to stare someone down like this then look at the area just above the eyes, as if the person had a third eye. While we know we aren’t making eye contact, the victim won’t realize the difference. Staring will evoke stress, they will feel prey-like and under attack. Keeping the eyes unblinking or even narrowing them is akin to a predator-prey interaction which will make the dominance display even more powerful. However you decide to experiment, do so at your own risk!