Tag Archive for Fear And Anxiety

Deception Causes Arousal, Generally

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

While he COULD be lying, it's much more likely that he's actually anxious. We instinctively (and wrongfully) link anxiety with lying, when in fact good liars often feel no anxiety whatsoever when they lie, and honest people feel anxiety when they think they will be disbelieved.

While he COULD be lying, it’s much more likely that he’s actually anxious. We instinctively (and wrongfully) link anxiety with lying, when in fact good liars often feel no anxiety whatsoever when they lie, and honest people feel anxiety when they think they will be disbelieved.

It is a widely held belief that emotional arousal and stress, is strongly tied with lying. It is also at the heart of the polygraph or lie detector. Here, autonomic responses which happen in our bodies without our conscious control such as sweating or ‘skin conductivity’ is measured as well as increases in heart rate and breathing. It is assumed that when lies occur, stress related behaviours increase. Lie detector machines measure a baseline, that is, they take readings when lying is known to occur and compare it to readings when lying is thought to occur. By reading the differences, lying should become obvious.

We can use similar methods to read arousal without the help of the polygraph. Watching for an increase in adaptors, shifting, subtle movements, touching or scratching the face, neck or nose can show us that someone is uncomfortable. What it won’t show us is the reason for the discomfort. By grilling someone for the truth, this is often enough to cause someone to feel stress thereby creating the behaviour instead of uncovering it. Other clues to an increase in stress includes an increase in eye blinking, changes in posture, avoiding eye contact and foot and leg movement. It is important to always put fear of lying and arousal into context. Someone with little fear, little to gain or loose, or in other words, ‘when the stakes are low’ wont show any of these signals. Aside from this lack of tell, it is important to realize that body language cues, especially lying language is not a result directly of lying, but rather an indication of the stress, fear and anxiety that may or may not be present when lying.

Poor Self Image And The Body Language That Tells

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

Tugging at the ears helps distract the mind from emotional stress.

Tugging at the ears helps distract the mind from emotional stress.

“Auto contact” is a term used to describe any gesture such as stroking the beard, rubbing the hands, tugging the ear, massaging the throat, pulling the fingers, rubbing the back of the neck and so forth, which is meant to sooth the body and create comfort. These gestures are also used to eliminate internal tensions and provide reassurance. It is believed that these mannerisms stem from childhood sources when our parents would comfort us with touch. Social touching has been shown to increase oxytocin which is a natural chemical messenger released by the brain. Oxytocin also helps in reducing anxiety, and creates feelings of contentment, calmness and creates trust. Studies reveal that oxytocin plays a big role in orgasm since it helps control fear and anxiety. In fact, when negative emotions aren’t controlled, orgasm is impossible. Self touching serves to fight the underlying stress associated with the negative stimulus so as to recreate the feelings of having someone sooth you. This reminds people of more pleasurable situations. In short, it takes the mind to a better place. Grooming and self touching, stem wholly from arousal but this arousal can be due to a variety of reasons. It might stem from anxiety, anger, stress or uncertainty. It will be your job to decide which is the main cause, and part of this means that you need to take context in mind.

Interestingly manipulations, in this way, provide others will ‘tells’ that indicate which parts of our bodies we don’t like. For example, a man who is self conscious about his hair loss will frequently brush or stroke his head in a failed effort to hide the bareness, especially so when under stress He might also run his hand backwards over his head or smooth it or pat it. A woman with a large nose will motion or touch it whenever she feels insecure. Thus, not only do these ‘tells’ indicate that someone is stressed, but they tell us what parts of their bodies they find most troublesome. In a chain reaction, the stress produces an underlying emotion that then creates a behaviour – a gesture, that serves to fight the stress. This behaviour then in turn reveals an underlying self conscious attitude toward a part of our bodies. The method used to “attack” the ‘tell’ will give you additional clues to the intent. For example, a child who is angry will pick and pull at a scar whereas one that is embarrassed will tend to cover it from sight or brush it.

Touching or stroking the body helps relieve stress by releasing the hormone oxytocin.

Touching or stroking the body helps relieve stress by releasing the hormone oxytocin.

Small children, especially boys will sometimes grab at their genitals when stressed. Being unacceptable for adults, it can be replaced with a tight leg cross where the genitals are squeezed. Women have been known to do the same thing, even bouncing a leg up and down and squeeze their upper thighs tightly together which can even result in orgasm. Not every leg bounce with tight leg crossing produces orgasm though, yet this form of soothing still produces comfort, and quite likely a dose of oxytocin to boot! Women may also lightly brush the lower parts of their breasts as they crossing their arms, which is also in effort to self sooth. With careful observation (be careful here) the breast will seem to slightly lift as the second arm crosses over the first, locking it in place. This is one of the postures that becomes much more obvious after being recognized once. Resting the head on a hand or rubbing the back of the neck, wringing the hands or rubbing the legs are all substitutes to more overt self-stimulation. Men might resort to rubbing their temples and women might employ hair touches and grooming or stroking the sides of their arms. No matter how self touching unveils itself, it can show hidden insecurities, so can provide useful information about someone especially when taken in proper context.