Tag Archive for Elevator

The Most Common Female Sexual Signals

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

Lip licking can be a cue of sexual interest, but only if other cues are present. No cue, by itself can be taken to mean any one thing.

Lip licking can be a cue of sexual interest, but only if other cues are present. No cue, by itself can be taken to mean any one thing.

Nearly every motion of the body can be construed sexually, but only properly read as sexual within the right context. Take for example proximity, which can mean interest, but independent of context, means nothing. Getting stuffed into an elevator may lead to accidental touching but this doesn’t mean a girl fancies a guy, but in context with other signals, could mean that she does. She might go out of her way to stand next to him even if the elevator is only partially full, or she might cast intermittent gazes. Unfortunately, these low key signals are often thought to be clear signals of interest by the women who send them. Women figure they’re obvious and overt, and when the man she fancies doesn’t reciprocate, she takes this to mean that he’s disinterested. Even if she gives him the benefit of the doubt she might “ramp” things up a little bit to get him excited by looking up into his eyes and licking her lips making them glossy, but even these subtle hints can pass for normal affect. From these cues alone, should he know what is going on?

The simple answer is, no, he shouldn’t, he needs more obvious clues to discern interest. Maybe she licks her lips regularly, maybe she’s a natural close talker and ignores the personal space of those around her as part of her personality explaining her willingness to stand so close or maybe she’s just a friendly kind of person. Men need concrete reasons to solicit because what women are asking of them is risky and potentially embarrassing. Without “coming over the top” which can than be risky for women, they should offer controlled, directed and continuous signals of interest to test his willingness to pursue. Signals should begin subtly and grow in intensity with the passage of time, especially if the hint isn’t being picked up and there is a strong interest in creating attraction. Women should not assume that just because he doesn’t respond to a smile, that he’s completely without interest. He might be doing his version of being polite, or gentlemanly. Along similar lines, men should resist approaching any and all women, especially those that only put out mild cues. Men should let women dance a little too, as this will raise sexual tension, show that they are worthy as a mate because they aren’t supplicating all over them, and that they have inherent value. This isn’t to say that they should ignore cues altogether, all cues are important to recall, but it does mean that they should resist acting on vague ones.

In this chapter we first we cover the most common sexual signals for women, and then we move onto ways in which men can signal sexually in the pages that follow. For now, let’s look at what women can do to be clear about their sexual interest to men, so as to reap the results they desire, and in the same breath we outline the cues that men should be watchful of in women as cues worthy of pursuit.

The Anti Crosser Is Uncomfortable

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

Legs crossed at the ankles says I'm not happy - but I'm not going anywhere.

Legs crossed at the ankles says I’m not happy – but I’m not going anywhere.

We’ve noted that leg crossing can and does show interest depending on whether or not they enclose people or block them out and we’ve also seen how the figure four leg cross is a seated crotch display and also that leg spreading shows dominance, but legs crossed also shows comfort. When the legs are crossed they significantly reduce the ability to act quickly during confrontation and when it happens while standing significantly reduces balance. Therefore, leg crossing is an important indicator of the degree of comfort felt in any given situation.

Take the standing leg cross which happens by putting one foot behind the other. What is essentially happening is that the body is supported by just one leg making escape from this position especially difficult. Walking with just one foot is extremely cumbersome! This requires the feet to first uncross before taking action and this is exactly what happens when we become uncomfortable or insecure about certain presence. We’ve talked about the fig leaf position that happens by placing the hands over the midsection to cover them, and this does happen when people feel timid or insecure, but not when they are scared or fearful. A person standing in an elevator might stand with their legs crossed, but when a stranger accompanies them, their legs will uncross and their feet will become firmly planted. The subconscious mind is saying to the body that no chances should be taken here. While the fig leaf position says “I’m uncomfortable, but escape is impossible because I must talk with this person” whereas uncrossing the legs says “I have no idea who this person is and am unsure of them” and “I know I can run at anytime, and I will, should the need arise so now it the time to prepare”

Indicators of Invasion

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

'Ventral denial,' or turning the front of the body away is a sign that there is discomfort.

‘Ventral denial,’ or turning the front of the body away is a sign that there is discomfort.

There are some very simple ways in which people indicate that they are being invaded, and they are important should one want to avoid offending them. As we have learned in this chapter, personal space is important to all people and so we want to be cautious not to intrude on others for two reasons: first, for the sake of the comfort of the people around us, and second, for our own sake, so that people don’t attach negative ideas to us.

Strangers should be given the most amount of space until we get to know them so we should avoid breaking the five foot separation mark unless invited to do so. While it might seem rude to keep a new acquaintance at a distance and five feet might even seem like a huge distance, it’s a clearly defined ritual and a benchmark that most people find commonplace. For those that use touch to display connectivity (the touchy-feely ones) should show reservation at least until proper rapport is built and your acquaintance shows relaxed and open signals. Handshakes are common across most culture and are acceptable greeting method when meeting new people. The kiss-hello and other more intimate methods to greet find their place in many cultures, but the handshake is becoming more and more popular across the globe, so it’s a fairly safe bet it will be well received. After the handshake is complete, on should take a step back or to the side to converse. Next, you should allow the other person to define their preferred zone in which to carry on the remainder of the interaction. This is done by allowing them to move forward or backward if they desire. Eventually you will find a happy medium between you and them, so do avoid continuously approaching or leaning forward, in other words, plant your feet and keep an upright body.

Your partner will signal that you are encroaching on them and making them feel uncomfortable by taking a step backwards. If this isn’t possible due to space restrictions, or while in tight quarters such as an elevator, or if continuously followed by advancements, your partner will begin to pull their heads backwards and away. Even when space is not limited, we may find that polite people that don’t wish to overtly show that they are being infringed upon may also simply pull their heads back versus stepping backwards. If you find that you are constantly moving forward, then it’s likely because your comfort distance is less than the comfort distance of others.

Others might just show a bigger smile (possibly showing stress) and simply pretend that nothing is bothering them, but as soon as eye contact is broken or when their speaking partner is distracted, will take a step back. Others still, can pull their arms up and out to reserve space or can use their hand on the sleeve of the other to keep them from advancing. Arm crossing also demonstrates a negative posture and is used to shield the body so this can also indicate encroachment. Respecting other people’s intimate zones is extremely important. Invading people’s space can cause anxiety, irritation, anger or fear. If all else fails, you know you’ve exceeded the general personal space of others when your eyes begin to fuzz or cross, or you feel the uncomfortable sensation of warm breath on your face. When all else fails, take a step back and let them close the gap.