Tag Archive for Curls

Hand On The Chin For Evaluation Or Negative Thoughts

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

an eval

A classic evaluative gesture done by producing an “L” shape with the thumb and index fingers, but where the chin is not carrying any weight.

We can measure the level of interest or negativity our listeners have by how much pressure is held by the hand during conversation. Under average evaluative body language, the index finger is placed to the side of the head and only lightly supports the weight of the head, or the hands are left and placed on the table with palms up or uncrossed to the front of the body. When the hands touch the face and interest is present, the index and thumb will form an “L” shape and the chin is placed in the crux of the “L” but is not supported by it. Conversely, with genuine interest, the hand will barely touch the side of the face. In this case, the hand curls and the knuckles gently rests against the side of the face, and in other cases, the hand remains open with the finger tips of the index and middle finger gently resting on the cheek. As the listener becomes bored or tired, the hand will bear more and more of the weight and the body will seem to slump completely over the hand and be supported by it. As boredom sets in, the thumb will move under the chin to help the person hold their head even further, or the chin will seem to compress into the palm. When the index finger is found playing with or rubbing the corner of the eyes it indicates fatigue or disbelief as in “I can’t see that.” Movements to the eye like also serve to show negative thoughts and emotions. We should be careful to watch for them.

She's growing bored - we know because her "L" hand is taking on some the weight of her head.

She’s growing bored – we know because her “L” hand is taking on some the weight of her head.

Now she's checking out as the head is clearly being supported by the palm.

Now she’s checking out as the head is clearly being supported by the palm.

Seeing these cues develop tells us that it’s time to change the subject to revive interest, change locations to get the blood flowing again, or take a break to try to recover, and in extreme cases, throw in the towel and give up. Boredom is a negative thought indicator and the cues used to indicate it tell us that rapport is being lost between the listener and the speaker. Interested individuals inject themselves and their body completely into the conversation, rather than detaching themselves.

The Fetal Position

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

We curl up in a ball when we feel upset - as a fetus does in utero.

We curl up in a ball when we feel upset – as a fetus does in utero.

An extreme form of closed posture is the fetal position. While it might seem far fetched to expect someone in your company to have this posture, it does occur although in more abbreviated adult acceptable ways. While at an informal party, for example, a women in might find herself hugging her knees at the end of a couch. To her, this feels comfortable, which is why she does it, but it reveals her true emotions. When in a public she is timid and reserved so she curls up in a ball. The abbreviated form of this position, of course, and one that is more acceptable in public is to pull the limbs in closer to the body and across the center-line as in the “self hug”. With age, we learn that taking up the fetal position, like thumb sucking, is not an acceptable way of dealing with our insecurity so we drop the extreme form of the gesture in favour of more subtle cues. Playing with the hair, rolling it around a finger, sucking on it, or a pen, or other oral fixations are also juvenile coping behaviours that become unacceptable, although often still continue, into adulthood.

Sucking on a pen or piece of hair serves as a replacement for a soother.

Sucking on a pen or piece of hair serves as a replacement for a soother.

Nail biting is an oral fixation that replaces thumb sucking and allows the body to burn off nervous energy.

Nail biting is an oral fixation that replaces thumb sucking and allows the body to burn off nervous energy.