Tag Archive for Appearance

Tibial Torsion And Shoulder Shrugs To Appear Childlike

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

Pigeon toes or 'tibial torsion' is a submissive posture because it forces the body into taking on a smaller form.

Pigeon toes or ‘tibial torsion’ is a submissive posture because it forces the body into taking on a smaller form.

Another word for “tibial torsion” which is the anatomical term, and one we are more familiar with, is “pigeon toes”. “Pigeon toes” refers to aiming the toes and feet inward at a slight angle reducing their outward profile. The opposite of this posture is toes outward called “splay footed” or “duck footed” which is a military type posture and a signal of dominance, but only relatively speaking. Meaning that any body movement that is meant to, or leads to, the shrinking of the body’s profile where less space is taken up is a submissive cue and where more space is taken up is a dominant cue. So relative to having the toes pointing directly forward, which has no meaning, the toes pointing inward and outward, mean submissiveness and dominance respectively. Women in courtships displays, as we initially outlined, take up submissive displays to attract the attention of men. I have classified this in the same department as shoulder shrugs because they are very similar, perhaps not in their appearance, but in their effect. With all submission signals, the net effect is to create a less threatening profile and to appear more childlike.

Interestingly “tibial torsion” is also a childhood condition where there is actual anatomical inward twisting of the shin bones located between the knee and the ankle causing the feet to turn inward. This condition arises due to the position of the baby in uterus, but is not at all what we are referring to with respect to hidden sexual body language. Tibial torsion in a dating context, performed by women who have no underlying anatomical deformities happens for the purpose of making the body appear smaller and more submissive, rather than due to a medical condition. Medical deformities can also apply to the toes as they point outward or duck footed too, and so are not always indicators of dominance per se.

Shoulder shrugs make the outline of the body much narrower.

Shoulder shrugs make the outline of the body much narrower.

The shoulder shrug is another childlike posture and happens when a woman let’s her guard down. It is often subtle and occurs subconsciously as a small raise of the shoulders and sometimes is accompanied by an eyebrow flash. Other times it is more pronounced and the head lowers or bows in unison with the shrug and is held for some time. Some other related cues of interest include shoulders up, shoulders flexed or shoulders back to flex out the breasts. The head tilted at forty-five degrees, as we have seen in a previous chapter, shows interest in what is being said, but as it relates to courtship also shows sexual interest. In fact the head turned at forty-five degrees is one of the most universally recognized courtship signals especially if it is accompanied with a headbow and eyes cast upwards making batty eye contact.

One last cue, and one that is especially potent, is looking over a raised shoulder. Women do this flirty gesture as they gaze at men of interest. Instead of squaring themselves off and looking straight into his eyes, her body faces away and she looks over the shoulder which seductively teases him. This posture emphasizes the curviness of the shoulder and exposes the vulnerable neck. It is particularly alluring when done by women wearing a strapless outfit!

Chin Stroking And Tongue Protrusion

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

It's common for the hand to come to the chin when we're making up our minds.

It’s common for the hand to come to the chin when we’re making up our minds.

Chin stroking, is another evaluative gesture which was made popular by movies, television shows and cartoons. The cliché says that the chin scratcher is old, wise and is bearded! Beard or chin stroking signifies that the decision making process has begun, but that a conclusion hasn’t yet been reached. What follows the chin scratch tells us exactly what to expect, be it a positive or negative outcome. When prompted for a final decision,
if the hand comes down and across the body at right angles it tells us that a negative answer will follow, but if the hand comes forward and is placed on the thighs in a ready posture or the arms remains uncrossed the answer will be positive.

Without conscious awareness the tongue makes an appearance under deep concentration usually by being protruded to the side. Tongue protrusion is an evolutionary throwaway gesture thought to have arisen as food rejection mechanism by infants. When it happens in adults it means they are genuinely focused on their task and wish not to be bothered by others, hence the rejection root. The tongue can also be seen moistening the lips more often when under stress or anxiety as the mouth dries up, or can be moved back and forth across the lips as a pacifying behaviour to sooth while under stress.

The Ankle Or Scissor Cross

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

A negative thought is present, but she's not going anywhere.

A negative thought is present, but she’s not going anywhere.

The ankle or scissor cross is where the ankles cross each other and is a posture that can happen while seated or standing. While seated this posture is a hidden form of leg crossing because it occurs discretely at the bottom of the legs and can be out of sight due to a desk or table. While standing, it is the only way legs can cross so has a similar meant to a regular full blown seated leg cross. At times the leg might be raised up the backside of the calve producing the appearance of a flamingo but this posture is mainly reserved for women. While seated, the legs can also be locked behind the legs of a chair with essentially the same message being delivered except in this case it is a restraining-freeze-behaviour. When the legs are wrapped around the chair they can’t move, hence they are locked, and are also there precisely so they don’t move, and are hence frozen. Women are also seen using the sitting position more often them men especially if they are wearing skirts, however, it is not a confident posture so should be avoided. When it does happen in men though, it should be noted since it is an unnatural position in general for them.

The ankle cross indicates that the person is holding a negative emotion, uncertainty, fear, feels discomfort or threatened, stress, anxiousness, insecurity or timidity. The ankle or scissor cross also shows reservation and self-restraint,

Lots of cues in concert. Arms in a partial-cross coupled with crossed ankles - and he's not doing much better as he 'holds himself back!'

Lots of cues in concert. Arms in a partial-cross coupled with crossed ankles – and he’s not doing much better as he ‘holds himself back!’

 

due to withholding of a thought or emotion. When being pitched, it shows resistance to the sale and when being questioned might indicate that lying is taking place. Couple interlocked legs, which is a freeze response meant to reduce foot movement, with pacifying behaviours such as rubbing the thighs palm down, as if to dry them, and you’ve got a cluster signaling that a secret is being covered. If the feet are pulled under the chair, the message is even more exaggerated. The feet are saying exactly what the person is thinking, that he or she is closed and withdrawn from the conversation. We should be watchful of this posture when presenting a controversial opinion to see what degree of disagreement is present and especially if the posture is held for a significant length of time, particularly by men. When the ankles cross it is due to a subconscious freeze response due to a threat and the legs are entwined so as to restrict and restraint movement.

As we saw previously, closing a sale or changing opinions necessitates open minds and since our bodies and minds are linked should try to open those with the scissor posture when possible. You could try to have them change positions, as above, by having them stand or relocate to a more comfortable seating location, or you could take the time to identify and address whatever issue is of concern. This is important especially if the posture preludes a more intense selling session to follow, since negative postures early on are a good predictor of the future.

Mixed message - head cocked to the side shows interest coupled with arm and ankle crossing - she's uncertain.

Mixed message – head cocked to the side shows interest coupled with arm and ankle crossing – she’s uncertain.

In a free-flowing interview or discussion noting the timing of ankle cross’ can prove valuable. With some research or prodding it might be possible to reveal the true reason for the action. Simply asking the reason for the reservation can help eliminate this posture as well because it will make the person feel listened. This is risky, though, because the primary reason for the gesture is to conceal an emotion. Conversely, giving someone the opportunity to express their thoughts makes people feel heard and sometimes that is all that is needed to open someone up. The posture after all, is a posture of hidden disagreement, so it would be hard to hold the posture as one is given the chance to open up. If the posture returns after some time, it might indicate that the person hasn’t fully disclosed their true opinion on the matter or that a new issue of contention has been uncovered. Therefore, once again, time should be taken to address any concerns that might have arisen before moving forward.

The Origins Of The Smile And The Honest Smile

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

The orbicularis muscles contract to form wrinkles in the corners of the eyes called crows feet - “smiling eyes”. When we see crows feet, we have true happiness.

The orbicularis muscles
contract to form wrinkles in the corners of the eyes called crows feet – “smiling eyes”. When we see crows feet, we have true happiness.

Smiles are controlled by two sets of muscles which are the zygomatic major muscles, that run down the side of the face to connect to the corners of the mouth, and the orbicularis oculi muscles that pull the eyes back. The orbicularis muscles are particularly important as they are used to cause what’s called “smiling eyes”. Smiling eyes, also called “crow’s feet”, where a classic wrinkling appears in the corner of the eyes is an indication of true happiness. The zygomatic muscles, on the other hand, are consciously controlled and are the ones that normally flex when we smile for the camera. Therefore, the appearance of crow’s feet is a great way of determining genuine enjoyment. Insincere smiles appear as exposed teeth and stretched lips across the face with no wrinkles in the eyes. Crow’s feet however, can be faked with extreme smiles when the full face ends up really squished, but what separates the two is that in the real smile the corner of the eyes will turn downwards and the eyebrows will dip as well. The honest smile has also been called the “Duchenne smile”, after the French researcher Guillaume Duchenne who was first to research smiles using electrodiagnostics and electrical stimulation to distinguish between real and fake smiles.

The uneven smile. This one is a fake!

The uneven smile. This one is a fake!

Symmetry is also important in a real smile. Natural smilers will have more even smiles as both sides of their brain respond to pleasure. Smiles that are not genuine are more pronounced on the left side of the face since they are consciously being controlled. Interestingly uneven shoulder shrugs are also dishonest. Shoulder shrugs indicate when someone doesn’t know something, and if they are being truthful, their shoulders will come up in unison and sharply, however, if just one shoulder comes up and only slightly then they are following their statement with uncertainty. In other words, dishonesty shows through when the body language to support an emotion lacks full symmetry and follow through. Shoulder shrugs is a “gravity defying” body language, meaning it requires energy and commitment, so it should happen emphatically and completely for it to have its full honest value otherwise it is just feigned serving only to appease. When you see weak smiles or shoulders that only partially come up then you know that someone is trying to be misleading about their true thoughts and feelings.

When the lips stretch across the face, we know we're being fed a load (of fake happiness).

When the lips stretch across the face, we know we’re being fed a load (of fake happiness).

Liars also find it difficult to smile, instead preferring a straight face, but when they do smile, it appears forced and especially strained showing their underlying stress. Smiling is a subconsciously submissive gesture and liars often worry about being caught so they feel that smiling might give them away. Therefore instead of appearing natural to the person they are lying to, they instead tense up and try to appear expressionless instead. Smiling can therefore be an effective way to come across as honest, although smiling too big, for too long or at inappropriate times will have the reverse effect.

Regardless, fake smiles are difficult to distinguish from real smiles and only experts and those reading this book will know what to look for! That’s why smiling, even if phony, can be effective in influencing other’s thoughts, emotions and opinions of you so in reality it doesn’t hurt to smile often. If you smile big, and frequently, those around you might just wonder about what sort of pleasant things are happening in your life and want some of those good things to rub off on them!