Tag Archive for Alpha Men

Dominant Body Language

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

The alpha male solicits (elicits) attention from women.

The alpha male solicits (elicits) attention from women.

Establishing dominance and status are the main messages men deliver to establish attraction with women and there are a variety of methods to do so. Fashion is one aspect of status and it includes expensive watches and suites, polished shoes and being well groomed. Status also comes across through body language. Open postures, legs spread apart, arms uncrossed and keeping the hands away from the face. Alpha men display alpha traits because life has treated them well. Good posture also shows that life hasn’t taken advantage of him and the weight of the world isn’t holding him down.

The torso’s of dominant men is firm and still, they will use their arms to punctuate points, but keep them relatively inactive. Dominant men only rarely raise their arms above the level of their belt. Speaking slowly with a calm voice also shows dominance. The fewer words used, the more emphasis is placed on what words are used. Instead of rambling on, men should use more pauses and allow their minds to catch up. Alpha men speak slowly, almost carefully. They choose their words wisely and avoid fillers such as “ummm” and “ahhh.” Taking up space is also part of dominant body language. Having the arms spread wide while on a sofa and the legs apart gives the impression that men are relaxed and also larger than they actually are.

Eliminating Beta Male Body Language

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

Pockets are a great place to stash a few hands. Only problem is that it makes us look uncomfortable.

Pockets are a great place to stash a few hands. Only problem is that it makes us look uncomfortable.

While women might become nervous as a signal of a man’s attractiveness in her eye, and use it effectively to attract his attention, she won’t find this signals attractive when done by men. To her, nervousness signals that he is a lesser man; a beta man.

Beta male characteristics includes but is not limited to fidgeting, slouching, putting hands in pockets, crossing arms, wringing the hands, talking with a hand hiding the mouth, and touching or scratching the face or neck without purpose. Men who exhibit these gestures might signal nonverbally their attraction to a woman, but the signals won’t be found to be a turn-on to women. In other words, men should drop this cue altogether because it doesn’t help their cause. Rather, they should use the dominant body language listed below to create arousal in women and thereby elicit sexual body language from them. Beta men by definition are those that come second to dominant or alpha men, both in daily life and in dating.

In the dating world, because beta men come second to alpha men are left choosing what alpha men deem less valuable. In other words, beta males get second pick (or are chosen by women second, however you want to look at things) and also miss out on dates more often than alpha males. Being beta in life, isn’t necessarily a bad thing, in fact, most people are second in lead, or worse, to someone at any one time or another throughout the day. However, in dating, it is important to be alpha to at least one woman in life! We can also add that not every woman is alpha worthy either, and this is part of the natural order or hierarchy of things. Everything balances out in the end, even if we just act out our normal selves, as there are more than enough variations of people to pair up with. The issue stems from trying to reach higher into the hierarchy and this requires behavioural modifications and work. Chances are good though, that if you are reading this book, you have a desire to improve your success in life which is why we move forward.

In closing this point, what is important in terms of beta male body language, is to refrain from showing that the weight of the world is upon us forcing our shoulders to slouch, or that life has run amuck with our self esteem, by carrying awkward postures. Having our shoulders up and back shows that we can effectively carry the weight of our predicaments, no matter what that is.

Some beta male postures:

Touching the face indicates insecurity.

Touching the face indicates insecurity.

Hand to mouth gestures should be avoided as it is a sign of low confidence and sometimes lying.

Hand to mouth gestures should be avoided as it is a sign of low confidence and sometimes lying.

Extreme anxiety causes the desire to control the pain by inflicting it against ourselves. It gives back our sense of control over our anxiety. People who resort to 'cutting' also seek to displace their anxiety and control it.

Extreme anxiety causes the desire to control the pain by inflicting it against ourselves. It gives back our sense of control over our anxiety. People who resort to ‘cutting’ also seek to displace their anxiety and control it.

The Power Of The Pause

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

Using fillers such as “umms” and “ahhhs” or “You know what I’m talking about.” weaken speech. The simple solution is to inject more pauses. Instead of filling your language with junk, punctuating the point with a pause can be so much more effective. The mind can only work so fast and a tongue stuck in overdrive can lead to disaster. Our perception of time also changes while under pressure. As our heart races, four to fives seconds can feel like an eternity! For some, even speaking to a small group of three or four can seem like a large audience, applying even more pressure. However, pauses in speech can increase our credibility significantly as people are given more time to process the information we have given them.

The best speakers know that they won’t be cut off and this lack of fear (if this is the reason for the filler sounds) is notably absent. Filling the silence with words indicates to others that you are tentative, unsure and less dominant and in control. The only function filler words serve, is to dilute the words we do say, and make the entire collection of words less powerful. Don’t be afraid to leave an audience with silence as you collect your thoughts. Be sure to take time to breath, and therefore think, and use dialogue in short bursts followed by pauses and reflection. Alpha men and women are never afraid of silence, it is their ally and speaking at a half rate is not a terrible strategy either. It gives them twice as much time to think and also builds a huge amount of credibility.

Listening to someone who uses good speech rate, tone, and pitch, on the other hand, can be inspiring. Politicians are especially adept at the pause. Senator Barack Obama in the 2008 Democratic race used pause more effectively than any other U.S. presidential candidate in recent time. His speech so much resembled a priest addressing his congregation, that it was startling and even frightening. He paused frequently to allow the crowd to cheer or stir beckoning for more.