An alpha posture takes up space as if he’s in his own living room.

An alpha posture takes up space as if he’s in his own living room.

Men and women both have a set of body language cues they employ to gain points when viewed by the opposite sex. While women display submissive qualities, men display dominant qualities. Women seek out men that have the ability to gain access to resources such as food and shelter, who are protectors to them now, and in the future, their children, and who have the physical traits they think indicate these skills such as health, vigor, and sexually virility.

Men give up plenty of cues to their physical virility, one of which is a tight round buttocks and lack of stomach fat. Men with round bums have been shown to be in better health and to maintain that health throughout their lifetimes. Health reports show that men who add fat to their midsection are much more prone to disease. Women also seek men with broad strong shoulders, square jaws, muscular arms and chests. Individual differences still exist as it relates to other features, for some women a hairy chest or facial hair is everything, while for others, clean shaven is a must.

Some ways men use body language to attract sexual attention include the “male crotch display” which can include “the cowboy stance” where the thumbs are placed in belt loops and the fingers point to the crotch, “hooding” with the arms placed behind the head, leg spreading while sitting or standing, arms uncrossed and animated, crotch play (overt adjusting the penis with the hand), resting a hand on the inside of the lap with legs spread, straight and upright body posture. Dominant male body language says that life is treating him well, and that he is successful and will be a good provider.

To attract women, men will avoid “beta male traits” which include but is not limited to fidgeting, slouching, putting hands in pockets, crossing arms, wringing the hands, talking with a hand hiding the mouth, and touching or scratching the face or neck without purpose. Alpha men display alpha traits because they don’t let life push them around.

Men also use preening gestures such as fixing hair, straightening a tie or collar, or removing lint, but these aren’t as common when compared to women as sexual signals. Fashion is one aspect of status and it includes expensive watches and suites, polished shoes and being well groomed overall.

The torso’s of dominant men is firm and still, they will use their arms to punctuate points, but keep them relatively inactive. Dominant men only rarely raise their arms above the level of the belt. Speaking slowly with a calm voice also shows dominance. The fewer words used, the more emphasis is placed on what words are used. Instead of rambling on, men should use more pauses and allow their minds to catch up. Alpha men speak slowly, almost carefully. They choose their words wisely and avoid fillers such as “ummm” and “ahhh.” Taking up space is also part of dominant body language. Having the arms spread wide while on a sofa and the legs apart gives the impression that men are
relaxed and also larger than they actually are.

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