Tag Archive for Stranger

Touching To Get What You Want.

Touching is a primitive grooming gesture.

Touching is a primitive grooming gesture.

A study by Chris Keinke in 1980 revealed that touch can influence compliance with a request. In the study, an experimenter left a dime in a phone booth in a Boston airport. As the subjects emerged from the airport the experimenter asked for the return of their dime. It was found that compliance was more frequent when the request was accompanied by a light touch on the arm. A similar study in 1982 by Joel Brockner and colleagues showed comparable findings but specify that only sixty three percent of the non-touched returned the dime, whereas ninety six percent of those that were touched returned the dime.

Further research shows that justification that accompanying a light touch also helps in compliance. Therefore, we can add to the effectiveness of touching by briefly outlining our reasoning. It might go something like “I’ve left a dime here, and I really need it to make an important phone call.” followed by a light touch of the arm or forearm “Have you seen it”. This approach would have the most significant results. Other studies show similar results when people are asked to sign a petition or in a super market when asked to sample a new product. In the study, half of the shoppers were briefly touched, while the other half was not. The results show that, not only were people more likely to test the food, but they were also more likely to buy the product as well. Touching customers in a store also resulted in increased shopping time and more positive evaluation of the store. Patrons of taverns in the U.S. who were touched spent more time drinking and also consumed more alcohol then patrons that were not touched by the staff. In reference to tipping behaviour, touch was also a factor. Patrons that were touched by the waiter or waitress were far more likely to tip and to also tip higher. It seems that slight touching of a stranger on the upper arm has a very powerful affect on cooperation. The effects of touch has been widely studied and the influence it has on behaviour and requests are conclusive, touching really can help you get what you want from others.

How We Sequence The Letting Of Our Guard

Initially when people meet there is apprehension. In today’s day and age this attitude is vestigial since most people are agreeable and sociable. It wasn’t always like this as our evolutionary past is full of treachery. Two strangers meeting on foreign territory could have meant war, violence or theft. For women, the consequences could have been worse and include rape and kidnapping.

Holding a defensive posture, therefore, is a natural innate disposition and when people meet we should expect them to hold indications of timidity, at least initially. When two low ranking individuals meet they would naturally hold at least one posture that indicates that they are closed or protective. Having their arms or legs crossed at the ankles are two of the more common gestures. Those with higher rank will naturally express fewer closed postures initially when compared to those of lower rank. By the way, while we might feel rank in society is of no consequence, this couldn’t be further from the truth. As we are a capitalist society we are all more than aware of our relative standing in the world so our rank is well known to us.

Even children understand they rank low in the hierarchy of the world. However, in new environments it’s normal for even adult bodies to tense up and show certain levels of awkwardness. When two strangers meet, they will have their arms folded across their chest or perhaps in a pocket and their legs will be crossed at the ankle. This depends entirely on their level of comfort related to the novelty of the environment and their perceived status in relation to the other people present.

As the discussion continues between stranger, the feet are most likely the first to separate and uncross at the ankle, which will then be placed “at attention”, meaning together separated by a few inches and on the same plane. This will occur in unison with common dialogue, if no such rapport is built, the conversation can turn even more awkward and the bodies may tense and seek methods to exit the conversation.

Next, the arms will become more animated and be used to colour their language, essentially losing their rigidity. The palms will be made more visible and be flashed palm-up in conversation showing honesty and openness. Next, the arms will remain uncrossed and become more active in the conversation showing comfort, be placed in pockets showing some residual reservation or be placed on the hips showing dominance if one or the other discovers they have a higher status. Next, and if general agreement is established, one foot might be extended toward the other person rather than an exit.

If one person fails to open up, usually both wont, as mirroring each other is also part of the natural process. In rare occasions, one person will open up, and the other will not, showing one-way agreement or that one person is generally more open minded and easy to please than the and the other. Finally, the distance between the two might be reduced by taking a step forward, or brief touching might take place in safe zones such as the forearm or elbow.

When And How To Use The Eyebrow Flash

Some recent research has shown that the eyebrow flash is most effective when it takes place between people who are already acquainted, but it can also be effective amongst potential suitors. Over a crowded room, the eyebrow flash can express interest and curiosity in someone of the opposite sex and can even make someone believe that you have already met and so create familiarity. That being the case, the eyebrow flash can also be taken as offensive, create anxiety or even hostility, and put people off if no natural attraction is present. Therefore, the eyebrow flash can be risky, but with someone with nothing to lose, can be neatly rewarded.

In a study by John Martin conducted in 1997 which he titled “Slaughtering a sacred cow: The eyebrow flash is not a universal social greeting” he found that the eyebrow flash was totally ineffective between strangers and sometimes even produced negative emotions. He found that people who were eye flashed keep more personal space between themselves and the flashers. The head nod and smile, he found, elicited a much better result, but a smile added to an eyebrow flash performed just as poorly. The eyebrow flash, however, was well received by those already acquainted to the flasher highlighting the importance of having a previous history with someone and reaffirming the likelihood that the greeting is a gesture amongst the familiar. Eyebrow flashes were also better received across the sexes then within the sexes. Therefore, it follows that a head nod and smile is appropriate for stranger, whereas an eyebrow flash is more effective to acquaintances.