Tag Archive for Soft Voice

Verbal And Paraverbal Cues

At times verbal and paraverbal cues betray the liar and these are cues tied directly to the words in which they speak. Although they fall outside the realm of body language at large, they do complete this chapter with regards to cues associated with deception which is why they have been included. These cues are, as always, related to the stress of fibbing so can be confused with nervousness of any other source. Some however are the direct consequences of lying such as the telling of an implausible story or using more negative comments or statements, which has been shown to increase during lying.

Here are the cues to deception as they relate to our verbal dialogue: Vocal tension, hectic speech, faltering speech, improper structure or grammar, implausible story, inconsistent story, superfluous details, describing feelings rather than events such as “I felt this way when I did this” or “I must have felt this way because of this” etc, adding qualifying statement such as “This is what I am about to say” then saying it, word or phrase repetition, using less contractions saying “I did not” instead of “I didn’t”, using the persons name in sentences instead of saying “he” or “she”, for example “Bill went to the store” rather than “He went to the store”, the use of clichés, blocking access to information, evasive responses or desire to change the subject, speech is less compelling, less personal and with less or too much detail, expressing self doubt, negative complaints or statements, defensiveness or aggressiveness, changes in pitch (high low or monotone), shaky or soft voice, stuttering, false starts, silent pauses, filled pauses, delayed response, appearing to be thinking, admitted lack of memory, tentative construction of sentences, clearing the throat and spontaneous corrections.

Tonality Advice For Men

Communication patterns are often a make-it or break-it moment.

Communication patterns are often a make-it or break-it moment.

As we have seen in a pervious chapter, tonality plays a big part in the meaning and intent of the message being delivered. Speaking in a soft voice can be construed as nervous, especially if words are so quiet they are misheard. When in groups containing new people, it is very common to speak quietly to direct your conversation to specific people you are more familiar with, however this can and will alienate others and serve to isolate you further. While in a group, therefore, don’t be afraid to address everyone and save private conversations for later. Whispering, which is an entirely different ballgame can actually bring women closer and create sparks, so is fair technique to explore. As tonality pertains to dating and attraction, it is important to hold a strong voice and use projection to carry it to your audience. Speaking too loudly can come across as forceful and arrogant though, so try to balance your speech to your location and audience, as well as the surrounding noise.

As mentioned earlier, women find men with voices that are deep sexy and it is possible to lower the breadth of your voice with practice. Even keeping it monotone will make it seem deeper and sexier, although a lack of enthusiasm will likely out-weight the benefits. Calming and slowing the voice can also deepen it and these techniques can be perfected when practiced. Naturally each one of the techniques for voice lowering can appear forced and awkward, and in most cases, the voice can only be lowered by a few degrees, but this might be all that is required to bring a high pitched voice down to an acceptable medium.

Another aspect of voice is projection. In nightclubs where talking is often difficult at best, you might consider extending the length of words and phrases, so they are better heard. Men should never pass up an opportunity for closeness, and as mentioned, whispering is a great tool to accomplish this. A “hey, let’s get out of here, it’s too loud to talk” makes for a good exit strategy once a connection is formed. Regardless of the situation, a well projected voice communicates strength and confidence.

Men should also be mindful of nervous laughing and long bouts of monotone speech, which can be a killer for women. Men should avoid getting overly excited, but should also not be afraid to liven speech with gestures and some changes in pitch, to show that they have a pulse, and that their life is at least somewhat exciting. If men find themselves in conversation with an unwilling participant, they should change gears or change partners, this is what makes body language so powerful, since it eliminates the need to second guess interest. Having read the cues to sexual interest at the beginning of this chapter along with interest in general covered throughout the book, it should be plainly obvious what others are thinking about you.