Tag Archive for Scrutiny

How To Accurately Read Lies

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

By now we know that liars are practiced, we all do it, and we do it regularly. Sometimes we don’t even realize we do it and other times those around us don’t care to know. What we do know is that most liars feel only mild feelings of guilt and fear. Thus, we should only expect very subtle clues to deception and nothing more. It has been shown through the research that looking for full blown signals of lying is both misleading and even unhelpful. Liars as it were, are only slightly more apprehensive than truth tellers with both feeling nervous and anxious when faced with scrutiny.

My advice to read people is to watch for the little stuff, the microexpressions, the small gestures and the ones that happen instantly, and then hone in on it. Keep in mind too, that you won’t be able to detect lies much better than about seventy-five percent of the time anyway, which is on par with the CIA minus of course various lie detection machines which we discussed as being impractical and requiring cooperation that you are very unlikely to garner, even if provided with access.

The top lie detectors all seem to have one trait in common, and that is skepticism. They know or assume that someone is lying so they view them through that window being careful to watch and recall any cues that tip the scales toward deception. Looking at the world through rose-coloured glasses will lead to rose-coloured predictions about people and this is all just dandy, if you aren’t interesting in uncovering bad things around you. You also must be aware of a person, from their face to their toes and be willing to look them over and actively observe them. If you’re goal is to make friends, then by all means avoid filtering and analyzing the body language around you. In fact, I would advise body language readers to relax their skills when around family and friends, or at least keep it secret!

It is not safe to immediately peg someone a liar based on one or even a handful of cues just by the nature of the trade. Reading lying correctly is a long term comparison of the facts seeded with emotional, fearful and stressed body language from one moment to the next that can only happen over time. Success will come by looking at the full picture and comparing the parts to the whole and digging deeper when discrepancies happen between expressive behaviours and the words said. No doubt, lie detection is difficult, but the body language in this chapter coupled with how it is framed, that is the lie detection theory and it’s limitations, will help increase your odds significantly.

What Glasses Mean

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

Chewing or sucking on the frames of the glasses signifies deep thought.

Chewing or sucking on the frames of the glasses signifies deep thought.

As an artifact, glasses can be used to convey nonverbal meaning. Chewing or sucking on the frames of the glasses signifies deep thought. Pens placed in the mouth have the same effect. As we saw with chin stroking, what immediate follows evaluative gestures tells us what sort of decision has been made, be it positive or negative. If arms and legs become crossed, or the body leans back, it means that the person has reached a negative conclusion. The glasses can be shaken from side to side signaling a rejection of an idea which is a tempered way to finger shake – the finger shake by itself indicates a much more powerful message. Boredom can also be signaled with glasses such as folding and unfolding them repeatedly, bending them at the center can indicate agitation, and touching the tips signal tension or stress. Putting the glasses back on means the person wants to see more of the facts, setting them aside can mean that the meeting is over and throwing them aside altogether or dropping them abruptly means a full rejection of the meeting. Quickly anticipating a negative decision can be of assistance to thwart an overt conclusion in effort to leave the door open, even if just a crack. However, obviously, your work is cut out for you to sway someone who is so close to a final decision. You will need to work in overdrive to bring them back from the brink.

Moving the glasses up on the forehead can signal honesty while peering over the glasses is a classic evaluative gesture that signals scrutiny and judgment. The image it invokes in people is that of the discerning librarian or catholic school teacher bearing down on naughty students. The presence of glasses is not paramount to the gesture, but does help make it more salient. With or without glasses it happens by tilting the head downward with the eyes peering onto the subject across the bridge of the nose. With glasses, the gesture includes pulling them forward with the hand and simultaneously peering over them. If the head is cocked to the side it says “Really? You can’t be serious.” The cue cluster also includes arms folded or on the hips, legs crossed, squinted eyes and pursed lips, scowling and or an index finger that wags from side to side (meaning naughty).

Studies show that we also rate wearers of glasses as being more studious, intelligent, sincere and conservative, although having particularly thick glasses negates those positive attributes. We think thick glasses are for those with low social skills who are overly-intelligent (geeks or nerds). While not all of these gestures are perfectly predictive glasses, just like pencils, pieces of paper, folders or books, they are an extension of the hand so carry the same message but in an exaggerated way.