Tag Archive for Reason

The Truth Bias

A review of the literature on lying and truth telling shows us that an average sixty-seven percent accuracy is found when detecting the truth, whereas forty-four percent is found while detecting deception. In other words, people’s accuracy at detecting truths is usually higher than their accuracy at detecting lies! This is what is called the truth bias. Some possible explanations for the truth bias stem from the fact that in everyday encounters we usually deal with honest people. While lying is pervasive, it doesn’t happen nearly as often as does lying. Thus, we expect people to be telling the truth and are therefore better at detecting it.

Another possible reason for our inherent truth bias is because it would be detrimental to act suspiciously while speaking with others just in case they were telling the truth. If our default was to label other people as deceptive, we’d be constantly interrupting others to clarify statements, or our suspicion would have our minds busy fact checking at a later time. Our conversations would be littered with statements such as ‘That can’t be true’ or ‘Really, I can’t see that’ or ‘I’ll believe that when I see it’ which sometimes it is, but usually not. This would be time consuming and counterproductive given the nature of real to life situations, that is that people normally tell the truth. Our social rules also do not permit us to act suspiciously and if we did so would alienate others and prevent us from formulating alliances or friendships. In fact, ignoring the faults of others is the primary reason we allow ourselves to associate with anyone at all. Those with a memory for detail find it hard to ‘let things go’ or ‘ignore subtle unimportant flaws’ which can be detrimental for relationships. The truth bias tells us that letting little ‘white lies’ go, is an integral part of human nature, perhaps even necessary.

Proximity, Pointing And Touching

Proximity indicator of interest.

Proximity indicator of interest.

Proximity plays a huge factor in dating and anything done to decrease space between tow people is a good signal of attraction. Sometimes, closeness is real, for example a woman might get up and physically move closer to a man, she might move a chair next to him or she might opportunistically take up a position close-by on a sofa. All cues that are important give alternative options to sit. Sometimes too, proximity is figurative such as is the case when women point, or when eyes are cast.

The "pointing knee" happens when a woman sites on her foot and aims her knee toward the man of interest.

The “pointing knee” happens when a woman sites on her foot and aims her knee toward the man of interest.

If touching was unwelcome, then an accidental touch would result in her hand being pulled away.

If touching was unwelcome, then an accidental touch would result in her hand being pulled away.

Touching escalation.

Touching escalation.

Pointing, like eyeing, are ways to bring people close together without actually moving. Both are reliable indicators of where we’d rather be, or who we are thinking about. We can point with our eyes, our toes or feet, or our knees. The pointing knee happens when a woman sites on her foot and aims her knee toward the man of interest. This is sometimes also a signal of being relaxed and informal which extends the meaning of the pointing knee. Escape is difficult in this position so when done by a woman it means that she is comfortable around whomever she is with at the time. Dangling a shoe is another informal signal of comfort for the same reason. The pointing knee also shows fleeting glimpses to the inner thigh which can be arousing to men. Leaning in or toward, standing next to someone or even isolating oneself from friends all shows interest when done by women.

Touching is another great signal of attraction even if it happens ‘accidentally’. Women will make a point to brush up against men of interest and as we have seen may groom them if they wish to send a strong message. Have you ever wondered if he or she really likes you? Try accidentally brushing a knee or leg up against someone under the table. If they pull away or turn immediately than it’s due to disinterest, but if it’s embraced and “footsies” ensue then it’s an excellent signal of interest. To make sure the signal is anchored try casting occasional flirty eye contact. This is a signal that can be used by either men or women. When outside of a dating context, the same pulling away will be found so this isn’t limited to courtship. People that hate each other like to maintain as much space as possible and even accidental touching is unwelcome.

Leaving a tie un-straightened can give women an excuse to touch and is a great way to measure interest by men. To send a much more subtle signal of touching an object might take the place of a person. Such is the case with caress the stem of a wine glass, ring, watch or car keys. The back of the hand, the neck, the shoulders, or side of the face can also show interest. Self touching is a way to prepare the body for touching by someone else and also indicates what type of touching women wish to receive. Self-touching is a ‘fix’ that is used to alleviate the symptoms of the desire to be touched, and indicates where a women’s mind is thinking.

Sneering For You

Sneering often happens as a microexpression, meaning it only briefly flashes quickly across the face before disappearing.  It says "this smells fishy."

Sneering often happens as a microexpression, meaning it only briefly flashes quickly across the face before disappearing. It says “this smells fishy.”

During a sneer the buccinator muscles located on the sides of our face contract to draw the corners of the lips sideways toward the ears. This produces a tell-tale dimple in the corners of the mouth and cheeks. This is an expression that usually happens in just seconds and for this reason is honest, so is loaded with meaning. Sneering is similar to eye rolling and is a signal of contempt, disapproval and disrespect the world over. It signals a negative attitude and arrogance to views or persons to which it accompanies.

Sneering says “I don’t care what you think, and I don’t respect you.” Because sneers happen as microexpressions, they often immediately following a stimulus. This makes it very easy to link the negative expression with its cause, serving to read the hidden thoughts.

Couples who sneer when listening to each other indicate that they lack respect and it has been shown that it is a good predictor for breaking up. Sneering can be done by employees who think they know more than their bosses, but whom resist speaking up because of fear of being fired, and by children who lack respect for authority. Wherever sneering shows it’s ugly face, it is due to distain.

The Friendly Social Gaze

When friends talk to one another they aren’t trying to peer into their souls, rather, they gaze. The gaze is non-threatening and like the intimate gaze, which follows, the eyes travel over the face in a specific pattern. In the friendly gaze, the eyes travel in a triangular pattern from eye to eye then to the mouth with some infrequent looks to the rest of the body. The reason we cast our eyes infrequently over other parts of the body is simply due to the reason that it is of less interest and of less value in friendship which is just the opposite of that which happens in the intimate gaze. With friends, gaze is brief, lasting only about three seconds followed by looking away. The research tells us that about seventy-five percent of the time eyes travel through the triangular pattern from the eyes to the mouth, ten percent of the time is spent on forays to the forehead and hair, and five percent to the chin, with the remaining time split on various other features.

After a period of gaze or mutual eye-contact both people will avert their eyes downward instead of left, right or upward. But if you are really in a comedic mood and want to put the fright into someone, break your eye contact by quickly looking up and taking a step backwards! They will most certainly think that something is about to fall on them which is the likely reason we rarely look up when breaking eye contact. Looking down, on the other hand is a symbol of submission whereas looking left or right can imply disinterest (or interest in something else), or a desire to withdraw from the conversation. Looking past or ‘through’ someone, by having an expressionless face, and unblinking eyes has the same affect, it places importance on other things aside from the conversation at hand. Of course, and as mentioned previously, feelings associated with improper eye contact is noted and held subconsciously, since for most people they are out of the normal range of awareness. That being said, people will attach powerful feelings and judgments to us based on how we use eye contact during conversation regardless of our true personalities.

The extreme end of negative thoughts and feelings related to eye contact comes from prolonged periods of unbroken eye contact – staring!

The Feet Are Honest

Feet aimed toward another person says "I'm interested in YOU."

Feet aimed toward another person says “I’m interested in YOU.”

It has been said that the feet are the most honest part of the body as it applies to the language they emit. Millions of years ago, we gave up quadrupedalism to walk upright leaving our feet to the dirt. While our hands busied themselves with other complex tasks like fire building, making clothing and shelters, throwing spears our legs were relegated to more primitive activities like locomotion. The hands, because of their opposable thumbs are more useful to complex tasks putting the thinking neocortex in charge. This in turn hampers honest language because the thinking mind can, within reason, eliminate the type of body language it desires.

These feet want to escape and so are turned away.

These feet want to escape and so are turned toward the escape route.

The feet on the other hand, carried out more traditional tasks like escaping predators, avoiding hot sand or coals from the fire, leaping from slithering snakes or poisonous spiders, or navigating rough rocking river bottoms. The feet were therefore connected more to the reptilian brain which reacts to stimuli directly instead of contemplating higher order tasks that require planning. When we’re frightened it doesn’t take much to put our feet in gear by getting them tucked under our legs and coiled up, or freezing instantly or get pulled up onto a chair when startled by a mouse that catches our eye scampering across the shadows of a room. Our feet carry the flight or fight reaction to the letter, although they tend to first freeze, then take flight through distancing them from negative stimuli, and if neither is possible will begin to kick or fight. None of these tasks require high order thinking, they are based on reaction and are immediate.

The same sorts of positive reactions can be read in the feet. For example, we know that children are interested in play rather then eating when their legs bounce at the dinner table quickly trying to eat their food so they don’t miss the next inning in street ball. Even if they don’t fidget the feet will still point, or inch toward to door in effort to prepare for escape. Even the feet of adults reveal true emotions by pointing away from boring conversations or toward a lover. Adults can also be seen “Jumping for joy”, even if rarely such as when they are surprised by winnings at the casino slots, or are when met with a grandson at the airport. People of all ages can seem to float on their feet showing joy, which is an important “gravity defying” body language showing that they are excited. Young babies and toddlers, when held by a parent who’s been absent for a short while, will kick up and down and the entire body will jump with joy despite being confined in an embrace. None of a child’s body is as exuberant as their legs and feet!

It is not all that surprising that our feet go unnoticed. Our faces are complicated and at times expressive, even though we quickly learn to hide our emotions so as to deceive others. We learn early enough that when cameras are shoved in our faces, to smile, even though we have nothing to smile about or to “turn that frown upside down” when we are in a bad mood. Naturally we get good at feigning emotions with our “poker faces.” Yet throughout the years, our feet pass under the radar, tucked under tables, hidden under clothing and shoes to do menial tasks like bring us from point A to point B and back again. Our feet and legs can display boredom through repetitive motions, joy by lifting the body up and down, fear by being tucked under a chair, depression by laying lazily or motionless and sensuality by being uncovered and flaunted. The list goes on.

As you read this book pay particular attention to foot and leg language which is peppered throughout, as these will be cues that indicate true hidden meaning and emotions that is much more reliable than other body language cues.