Tag Archive for Physical Conflict

Closed Body Postures

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

Closed body postures, like hands hiding in pockets, indicate insecurity which we subconsciously associate with lying.

Closed body postures, like hands hiding in pockets, indicate insecurity which we subconsciously associate with lying.

Closed body positions, as we know, give off bad signals in general. When in a high pressure situation, closing the body off in any way may lead people to think that you have something to hide. Tucking the chin in, pulling the arms closer to the body, crossing the legs, turning the body away, and taking on a less threatening profile are all attributed to lying. Another less obvious clue to being closed-off, is to subconsciously place an object between the liar and interrogator, such as a book, brief case, or any other “security-blanket.”

As we all know of course, closed body positions like the majority of the signals associated with liars is in fact due to the stress, fear and hence nervousness of the interrogation. When “under attack” we close up our bodies to make it appear smaller and less significant to draw less attention to it, which is a way to protect our bodies in case the interrogation escalates into a physical attack. While most cultures prohibit physical force during everyday encounters, we still have the mental hardwiring that programs us to foresee physical violence, never mind the fact that a verbal threat is just as embarrassing and visceral as any physical confrontation. Threatening language puts our minds at risk to long term emotional damage, no different than being threatened by physical conflict. In our daily lives accusatory situations, verbal threats, and scolding, ranks near the top as far as the sorts of harm we endure throughout our lives. This is why we see our bodies react through body language to emotional threats, as well as to the possibility of being uncovered as cheats and liars.

Hostile Body Language

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

I think she has choice words for you.

I think she has choice words for you.

Hostile body language is similar to sexual body language but only in so much as the gestures are made figuratively to the object with which the action is intended. For examples, hostility can be displayed by pulling or pinching at one’s own ears, cheeks, hair, or face. Figuratively these are actions that the hostile persons wish’s to inflict against their agitator. The gestures are displacement signals meaning they allow for the release of hostile thoughts through peaceful means that avoid (for the time being) direct physical conflict. In evolutionary terms, the gestures serve as overt warnings that a more damaging and dangerous bout might ensue, but offers a last ‘out’ which is the nonverbal display, before things escalate.

We might see foot jabs against the leg of a chair, against the floor or other object. A fist might be repetitively pound against the table with emphasis, or the classic fist to palm punch with some verbally threatening language such as “I’m going to smash your face in.” When something is being pounded, the object is a substitute for the foe’s face and the punch itself is a form of displacement of emotion and energy. The pounding gesture is a more aggressive form of warning more likely to be done by men, whereas women might show less aggressive and more subtle gestures such as biting, sucking or chewing a lip or the inside of the mouth. As conflict approaches the combatants will begin to size each other up by directly facing each other, the fists will be clenched, breathing rate will increase and the chest will puff out to seem larger and more intimidating. Snarls will come from the faces of men whereas women carry have dirty looks to scold their enemies. Other signals include strong and persistent eye contact, glaring through unblinking eyes, turning red in the face and neck, cracking knuckles and overt stretching.

Keep in mind that these signals are obvious and rarely mistaken for other signals and should be heeded for what they are; an early warning system! Ignore them at your peril!

Invasion Of Space

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

A violation of personal space is indicated by her withdrawal.

A violation of personal space is indicated by her withdrawal.

Most hostile interactions in our lifetime will fall short of physical conflict but that doesn’t mean aggression was never present. We hold a buffer around our bodies at a premium and yet others still fail to acknowledge this, and choose to move closer then we wish. Disrespecting someone’s personal space is a form of aggression and dominant individuals routinely ignore personal space buffers, in fact, it’s one of the ways they maintain their dominance! Invasion of personal space can even come from brief touching or pats on the back, but also from more inappropriate touching such as jabs to the ribs with fingers, pens, or worse yet, slaps to the buttocks! Sometimes space invades will gain unwanted closeness by using friendly conversation, that we naturally read correctly as feigned.

Overstepping territorial boundaries is obvious to almost everyone because most have at least a rudimentary ability to read body language. We can test proximity comfort levels by stepping only so close as that which causes the next party to step or lean back. Leaning back carries the same weight, as a message, as a full or partial step back, it is just more polite. We can use the step back technique to send this message to space invaders, but it is often ineffective, as their intentions are usually intended to yield such results. Stepping back, and then quickly placing an open palm on their wrist or arm, or hovering a hand palm-vertical near the midline between you and them will serve to anchor them, preventing further advances. Often, the only solution is to be outright with the invasion and call them out. In this case, we should expect it to cause openly negative feelings which could strain a relationship, so should be carefully considered.

Introduction – Chapter 8

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

Dominant and submissive gestures are polar opposites, both by definition, and in terms of the body language that is used to indicate it. For example, appearing larger by throwing an arm over the back of the chair and spreading the legs opened is dominant whereas appearing smaller by pulling the limbs inward or hunching the back is submissive. This phenomenon is a good rule of thumb so keep it in mind while reading this chapter and the people around you.

In this chapter we will cover an encyclopedia of signs and signals that display status. By the end you will see how dominance and submissiveness are a common theme in people. So much of what people do is as a direct consequence of an unevenly divided resource base and how we all fit into society’s hierarchy. Dominance and the body language that showcases it, is how we decide who has rights over whom without resorting to physical conflict. Naturally, this chapter also provides methods by which status can be artificially raised simply by employing suitable body language.

In this chapter we will cover, amongst many others, how our environment can be manipulated to gain the advantage such as the status achieved by the judge in his highchair, how relaxed body postures can show dominance, how the head talks even when our mouths are not moving, how the chair straddler is a coward, how women will appear easy if they spread their legs whereas men will appear more masculine, how tilting far back in the chair is dangerous and not just because you might fall, how having the hands on the hips means more than disapproval and how military men leave their bodies exposed to attack on purpose.