Tag Archive for Overdrive

What Glasses Mean

Chewing or sucking on the frames of the glasses signifies deep thought.

Chewing or sucking on the frames of the glasses signifies deep thought.

As an artifact, glasses can be used to convey nonverbal meaning. Chewing or sucking on the frames of the glasses signifies deep thought. Pens placed in the mouth have the same effect. As we saw with chin stroking, what immediate follows evaluative gestures tells us what sort of decision has been made, be it positive or negative. If arms and legs become crossed, or the body leans back, it means that the person has reached a negative conclusion. The glasses can be shaken from side to side signaling a rejection of an idea which is a tempered way to finger shake – the finger shake by itself indicates a much more powerful message. Boredom can also be signaled with glasses such as folding and unfolding them repeatedly, bending them at the center can indicate agitation, and touching the tips signal tension or stress. Putting the glasses back on means the person wants to see more of the facts, setting them aside can mean that the meeting is over and throwing them aside altogether or dropping them abruptly means a full rejection of the meeting. Quickly anticipating a negative decision can be of assistance to thwart an overt conclusion in effort to leave the door open, even if just a crack. However, obviously, your work is cut out for you to sway someone who is so close to a final decision. You will need to work in overdrive to bring them back from the brink.

Moving the glasses up on the forehead can signal honesty while peering over the glasses is a classic evaluative gesture that signals scrutiny and judgment. The image it invokes in people is that of the discerning librarian or catholic school teacher bearing down on naughty students. The presence of glasses is not paramount to the gesture, but does help make it more salient. With or without glasses it happens by tilting the head downward with the eyes peering onto the subject across the bridge of the nose. With glasses, the gesture includes pulling them forward with the hand and simultaneously peering over them. If the head is cocked to the side it says “Really? You can’t be serious.” The cue cluster also includes arms folded or on the hips, legs crossed, squinted eyes and pursed lips, scowling and or an index finger that wags from side to side (meaning naughty).

Studies show that we also rate wearers of glasses as being more studious, intelligent, sincere and conservative, although having particularly thick glasses negates those positive attributes. We think thick glasses are for those with low social skills who are overly-intelligent (geeks or nerds). While not all of these gestures are perfectly predictive glasses, just like pencils, pieces of paper, folders or books, they are an extension of the hand so carry the same message but in an exaggerated way.

The Power Of The Pause

Using fillers such as “umms” and “ahhhs” or “You know what I’m talking about.” weaken speech. The simple solution is to inject more pauses. Instead of filling your language with junk, punctuating the point with a pause can be so much more effective. The mind can only work so fast and a tongue stuck in overdrive can lead to disaster. Our perception of time also changes while under pressure. As our heart races, four to fives seconds can feel like an eternity! For some, even speaking to a small group of three or four can seem like a large audience, applying even more pressure. However, pauses in speech can increase our credibility significantly as people are given more time to process the information we have given them.

The best speakers know that they won’t be cut off and this lack of fear (if this is the reason for the filler sounds) is notably absent. Filling the silence with words indicates to others that you are tentative, unsure and less dominant and in control. The only function filler words serve, is to dilute the words we do say, and make the entire collection of words less powerful. Don’t be afraid to leave an audience with silence as you collect your thoughts. Be sure to take time to breath, and therefore think, and use dialogue in short bursts followed by pauses and reflection. Alpha men and women are never afraid of silence, it is their ally and speaking at a half rate is not a terrible strategy either. It gives them twice as much time to think and also builds a huge amount of credibility.

Listening to someone who uses good speech rate, tone, and pitch, on the other hand, can be inspiring. Politicians are especially adept at the pause. Senator Barack Obama in the 2008 Democratic race used pause more effectively than any other U.S. presidential candidate in recent time. His speech so much resembled a priest addressing his congregation, that it was startling and even frightening. He paused frequently to allow the crowd to cheer or stir beckoning for more.