Tag Archive for Nonverbal Message

Some Ways To Set Up An Office

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

Low ranking employees are forced to face the wall so the boss can watch them work without being noticed himself.

Low ranking employees are forced to face the wall so the boss can watch them work without being noticed himself.

Another method to protect and reserve space is to pull a desk away from a wall as it cuts other people off from using that space. Outward facing desks leave plenty of space in a room where someone might sneak up from behind or from the side. Higher status workers will turn their desks so they facing doorways or entryways to avoid surprise intrusions. This simplest ways to perform a status check is to verify the way in which people face. If they face a wall there is a good chance they are lower status, but if they face the door and can easily see people enter their office, then they are likely higher status. The orientation of the window and door also has an effect on how things are set up and depending on the uneasiness of a particular person will depend on which orientation they prefer. Usually there is a balance between looking out the window to enjoy the view it provides and monitoring the door. The highest ranking workers will have private offices with controlled entry, or in other words a secretary.

A busy office provides multiple meeting and collaborative areas.

A busy office provides multiple meeting and collaborative areas.

It is important to put some thought into how desks are used since they can dictate how a meeting might unfold. A desk between two forward facing people forms a barrier which then leads into a formal meeting even when it’s not intended. If the goal is to create less confrontation and foster team building, than meetings should take place without a desk, or with circular or even square tables. Space permitting, circular tables should be included in the office environment to permit informal meetings if desired. Having room for more than one meeting area sends a powerful nonverbal message to those visiting since it shows that your occupation warrants it, even if they are only rarely used.

Placing chairs kitty-corner at a rectangular desk or positioning two chairs at forty-five degrees to the table on the same side can be effective if the goal is to hold cooperative meetings. Every office should be set-up in a manner that suits its main purpose, however, contingencies should be made for rare occasions when alternative strategies need to be implemented. If the idea is to quickly build friendships rather than demonstrate authority, it would be wise to have a more informal setting, perhaps even a comfortable sofa and coffee table with casual furnishings. It is no accident when a high powered lawyer organizes rows upon rows of legal books to his back. His message is clear; I have the knowledge to back me. What non verbal message does your office convey?

Fidgeting, The Feet, Jiggling and Kicking

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

A classic boredom cue cluster, fingers tapping, blank face looking away.

A classic boredom cue cluster, fingers tapping, blank face looking away.

When a listener is still, it implies that they are focused on the speaker and interested, although in extreme cases it means they are sleeping! Conversely fidgeting is an indication of boredom as the body is given signals to take action and leave the conversation – like the body revving its engine in preparation. Fidgeting is therefore a substitute to walking or running where neither is socially acceptable or the situation warrants otherwise. Being stuck in a lecture is one of them! Repeated checking of a watch or clock is another symptom of a desire to leave. With some forethought, an artificial time constraint gives us an excuse to preempt longer than desire visits which can be made useful when visiting in-laws, an advanced use of body language. Watch checking in this case, helps solidify the nonverbal message.

A slouched appearance is a clear message of boredom.

A slouched appearance is a clear message of boredom.

When boredom really sets in we find repetitive behaviours such as tapping the toes, swinging the feet with one crossed over the other, or drumming the fingers. The body may begin to sag or slouch in a seat, or they may lean against the wall. The head will droop showing fatigue or be supported by the hand. The more support is given to the head the more likely it is that the person is bored. A fully supported head holding the majority of the weight is a tell-tale signal that your listener is bored and that a shift in the conversation is in order. On the flip side, if feet suddenly freeze from a jitter, it indicates an emotional change has occurred and that a person is experiencing threat. This is part of the freeze response where people wish to go under the radar in the face of danger. Freezing, in this way, can happen as a result of being confronted with an embarrassing question or situation, or being the subject of a childhood tale that one is not particularly fond about.

Anytime foot jiggling suddenly turns to foot kicking while seated shows that a person has heard something negative and is a response to discomfort. Jiggling usually depicts nervousness, but kicking on the other hand, is used to fight off unpleasant thoughts. This gesture is subconscious and visceral so is a reliable predictor because under most circumstances people don’t realize that they do it. Foot kicking can therefore tell you what people really think about what sort of questions you are asking them because once posed, they will readily begin to kick if it makes them uncomfortable.

Summary – Chapter 5

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

It was all about the eyes in this chapter. We covered the friendly gaze where the eyes travel in a triangular pattern from eye to eye then to the mouth, the intimate gaze where the vast majority of time is spend looking at the eyes and mouth and the business gaze where eighty to ninety percent of the time is spent with direct eye contact and where the eyes never go below the neckline.

Next we covered how certain eye contact can be threatening, how to put your best side forward and how to avoid an attack by switching off the attack response. When looked at pupillometrics, or the study of pupil size in relation to emotion and we saw that larger pupils both signal attractiveness and interest. Having covered the basics it was time to put eye language into practice with the room encompassing glance, a clear signal of female interest, how blink rate can signal stress, an extended blink can be offputting and how the double wink can be sexy. Eye blocking was emphasized as a negative cue done to avoid harmful images or thoughts, and hit on eye flashes, eye widening and flashbulb eyes all carrying their own unique nonverbal message.

We found that by tilting the head at forty five degrees and looking upwards women can display the come-hither look invoking feelings of protectiveness in men. We also found that eye size was related to attractiveness and this was measured through research. Next we looked at shifty eyes and how they can predict stress, but not necessarily lying per se, looking askance to send “the look”, stealing looks and what it means, and how to properly address an audience through eye contact. NLP, we saw, refers to neuro-linguistic programming which is a system developed to induce behavioural changes and improve communication and derives its value by reaching for defined positive outcomes through identifying the roots by which thoughts affect images and sound or feelings. We then learned that NLP can help us predict things. For example, we saw that for most right-handed people, eye movement up and to the left is a signal of accessing a visual memory, movement up and right means that a person is trying to construct a visual image. Eyes either right or left, but still level, indicate an auditory process such as remembering sounds and words. Down and left indicate internal dialogue or self talk and down and right indicate a tactile or visceral feeling. When the eyes are straight ahead, unfocused or dilated they signal visual or any sensory information.

We also learned that there are three main ways in which people learn new information; auditory (spoken words) twenty five percent, kinesthetic (touch) forty percent and visual (images) thirty five percent. We also saw that eye direction has meaning where eyes focused straight ahead means passive receiving of information and eyes down means emotionally concentrating. From there we hit on appropriate eye contact during an interview and while communicating, the eyebrow and eye flash and what they mean and how they can be used.