Tag Archive for Further Research

Who Mirrors More, Men Or Women?

by  • March 6, 2013 • 0 Comments

Research conducted in 1981 by researcher Marianne La France out of Boston College found that women are much more likely to mirror others than men, and the more feminine the women the greater their mirroring. This isn’t surprising at all given the nature of mirroring. As we have covered thus far, mirroring is a form of empathy and rapport building. Mirroring is also a form of submission because one person must initiate positions first, and the other must follow. Women are nurtures by nature and so tend to want to build relationships, one of the tools they use more proficiently is mirroring.

Further research suggests that men are four times less likely to mirror other men, than women are to mirror another woman. Women have also been found to frequently mirror men, whereas men rarely, or only reluctantly, mirror other women, with only one exception, that being during courtship. The reason for this lies in Erno Herman’s research with Leiden University in Netherlands who in 2006 discovered that the administration of testosterone to subjects reduced empathetic behavior through facial mimicry. As mirroring requires an emotional connection in the form of empathy, estrogen rather than testosterone, is a more facilitative hormone. This gives us vital clues to the role of mirroring, and brings us back full circle to the core issue dealt with here, which is that mirroring is a form of rapport building, of which men are less prone to take advantage of.

The fact, as we have covered extensively in this chapter, remains that mirroring can be a great skill in most all facets of life. If you don’t already have it as a part of your repertoire, you should, and if you are a man, should consider it strongly because chances are you don’t do it naturally. Women rate men who display more facial emotions as more caring, intelligent, interesting and attractive which is freely reported by women especially during courtship. This trend naturally extends throughout other areas of life, especially business, but a certain degree of minimizing of expressions should be used when men deal with other men. The research tells us that men tend to rate men who mirror facial expressions in a negative light, describing them as more effeminate. Along the same lines, women who adopt more serious facial expressions when interacting with men, will be seen by them as more intelligent. Thus, to appeal to the opposite sex, the rule of thumb is to use “sex swapping characteristics” whereby we bend toward the sex’s preferences to create more similarity. In other words, men should appear a bit more feminine when interacting with women, and women should appear a bit more masculine when interacting with men.

Men are at an inherent mirroring disadvantage though as researchers have found that they can make fewer than one third the facial expressions that a woman can. What they lack for in facial expressions, though, they make up for in emotional expressions through the body. Therefore, reading body cues is a much better area to consider when reading men. The lack of facial expressions in men, which might be seen as a natural disadvantage, is turned into dominance because men appear less emotional and more “in control”, appearing to maintain their “cool” under more circumstances than women. This doesn’t mean that men fail to experience emotions, because brain scans tell us otherwise. It just means that men are better able to hide their emotions from the rest of us. Women shouldn’t be fooled into thinking men aren’t listening or even empathizing with them simply due to their pan-faced expressions. Women should though, be more watchful of men’s body language, that which happens in areas other than their face, to read their emotions and when they mirror should follow what happens with their arms and legs rather than what happens in their faces which will only be minimal. Conversely, men should do their best to mirror women’s faces as best they can, and make up for whatever expressivity is lacking through other body language channels.

Touching To Get What You Want.

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

Touching is a primitive grooming gesture.

Touching is a primitive grooming gesture.

A study by Chris Keinke in 1980 revealed that touch can influence compliance with a request. In the study, an experimenter left a dime in a phone booth in a Boston airport. As the subjects emerged from the airport the experimenter asked for the return of their dime. It was found that compliance was more frequent when the request was accompanied by a light touch on the arm. A similar study in 1982 by Joel Brockner and colleagues showed comparable findings but specify that only sixty three percent of the non-touched returned the dime, whereas ninety six percent of those that were touched returned the dime.

Further research shows that justification that accompanying a light touch also helps in compliance. Therefore, we can add to the effectiveness of touching by briefly outlining our reasoning. It might go something like “I’ve left a dime here, and I really need it to make an important phone call.” followed by a light touch of the arm or forearm “Have you seen it”. This approach would have the most significant results. Other studies show similar results when people are asked to sign a petition or in a super market when asked to sample a new product. In the study, half of the shoppers were briefly touched, while the other half was not. The results show that, not only were people more likely to test the food, but they were also more likely to buy the product as well. Touching customers in a store also resulted in increased shopping time and more positive evaluation of the store. Patrons of taverns in the U.S. who were touched spent more time drinking and also consumed more alcohol then patrons that were not touched by the staff. In reference to tipping behaviour, touch was also a factor. Patrons that were touched by the waiter or waitress were far more likely to tip and to also tip higher. It seems that slight touching of a stranger on the upper arm has a very powerful affect on cooperation. The effects of touch has been widely studied and the influence it has on behaviour and requests are conclusive, touching really can help you get what you want from others.

High/Low Context, Culture And Touching

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

Leaning away is a signal that personal space is being invaded.

Leaning away is a signal that personal space is being invaded.

The term “personal space” was first used by psychologist Robert Sommer in 1969 to describe the comfortable zones that people like to keep around them. His observations stemmed from the uneasiness experienced by hospital patients when he encroached on them. Further research into personal space has found that closeness tolerances vary by culture, and so too does touch. For example, Americans tend to prefer large amounts of space whereas Latin Americans, Italians and Middle Easterners require far less. Americans come from a culture with what is called “low context” and those from the middle-east come from “high context” cultures. In a high context culture the rules for conduct do not have to be specifically outlined or verbalized because everyone already knows them. Thus, in a high context culture the rules are set and the countries demographics doesn’t vary widely from person to person. High context cultures have a long standing history so practically everyone in the country understands the rules of touching. In a low context culture, where the individual is valued more than the that of the whole, touching is far less frequent or tolerated. In a low context culture the content of speech is delivered through words instead of touching. Examples of low context cultures where touching is infrequent includes America, Germany, Japan, United Kingdom, and Australia. High context countries where touching is more frequent includes the Middle East, Asia, Africa, Italy, Latin America and South America. Middle ground countries include France, China and India.

A business man from Australia visiting Italy or France can be shocked to have a potential business partner touch over coffee to emphasize a point. Those unaware of their host’s cultural norms could misrepresent touching as a sexual advance especially if your company is of the opposite sex. Then again, touch avoidance might also be misconstrued as rude or standoffish to a high context culture. An attempt should be made to follow cultural norms out of respect so in a high context culture one must fight the natural urge to pull back to avoid offending and in a low context culture we should respect their need for privacy and personal space by limiting touching.

Here is a quick breakdown of countries by touch tolerances:

[A] English-speaking countries (Canada, United States), Australia, Japan and northern Europe. Avoid casual touching.
[B] China, France, India. Accept some casual touching.
[C] Latin America, South America, Africa, the Mediterranean, Middle East, Italy, Russia and parts of Asia. Freely use casual touching.

Emblems, Illustrators, Affect Displays, Adaptors And Regulators

by  • March 5, 2013 • 0 Comments

Gesticulating is the original form of communication between humans.

Gesticulating is the original form of communication between humans.

Gestures are used in speech to convey information more efficiently or to express attitudes or emotions and as a body language reader they give us clues as to the speakers mental framework from which they speak. Beneficial byproducts of gestures include making speech occur more smoothly and increased liking between speakers and listeners. In the following section we will cover “kinesics” which is the subclass of nonverbal body language that is related to movement. Kinesics is probably the most talked about and most common type of body language but also the most easily confused cross-culturally.

The first full length study on gesture was published in 1644 by John Bulwer. He catalogued dozens of gestures and produced a guide on how to increase clarity and eloquence in public speaking. Further research has shown that some gestures are universal and therefore have ubiquitous meaning across cultures, while others only have local meaning. Other gestures are context specific so mean one thing in one place and can mean something entirely different elsewhere. Pointing, made by extending the index finger and balling up the rest of the hand for example, is one of the gestures that has the same meaning everywhere, but the okay-sign made by touching the index finger to the thumb and flaring out the remaining fingers, as we shall see later, does not.

Some cultures also tend to gesture, called “gesticulation” when used in speech, more or less often than others. For example, Italians are known to use a lot of gestures in speech whereas the English tend to use gestures infrequently. The English culture, on the other hand, deems high rates of gesticulation as being impolite. The high gesture cultures include Hebrew, French and Spanish.

The more social way for us to use our hands is to use them in concert with what is being said, although taken to extremes like the Italians, or lack thereof like the English, can be counterproductive. A balance between the two, will be the best case. The hands and arms add to the dialogue and liven it. Keeping your hands to your sides or your arms crossed tightly might be comfortable, but those that use their hands moderately while speaking appear intelligent and honest when viewed by others. Universally, closed posture come off as negative and anti-social no matter what kinds of truths spoken or positive feelings intended by the speaker. This is why it’s so important to be conscious of our gestures because even if we aren’t, others will be. Whether or not others bring closed body language to consciousness, is not relevant. Our impressions are created in others passively with no active thinking.

The various gestures have been broken down into five categories: emblems, illustrators, affect displays, regulators which we cover next.